The wife was been sick since I've known her (12 years), was diagnosed last year, has been on meds since January, is making vast improvements, but I feel is still being plagued by anger, guilt, and fear.
We've been married for coming up on 10 years now, have 2 kids, (one of which started kindergarten this year), and have generally had a rough time with what we later learned was Lyme since she was 14. She's been very good at putting up with me and my foibles / shortcomings / immaturity / quirky-ness on top of her body giving up on her so early in life.
I've tried to be very supportive of her and her difficulties from the beginning.
I've gone to just about every Dr appointment for fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, arthritis, physical therapy, infertility, pregnancy, labor, (frequent) bronchitis/sinus infections, and just about any other time she's seen a Dr, (she's developed a bit of a "Doctor Phobia" over the years, with so many of them either thinking she's crazy/unstable, or doing their best to help her but not doing any good).
I'm comforted her and wiper her tears on countless nights.
I've given (and continue to give) countless wrist/back/leg/foot rubs.
I've retrieved items for her while she's stuck in the chair, and although she has the energy to get up and get them herself, she's just too emotionally tired.
I've let her sleep in for as long as she needs to when possible.
I've cooked, cleaned, and for the first few years of marriage did 75% of the dishes and vacuuming. I've supported her on finishing her education, and also supported her when she decided that she needed to put it aside for now.
I've continually told her how beautiful she is, and how much I love being married to her.
I take care of the laundry when we no longer have any clean underwear or towels.
I call when I'm at work to see how she's doing, and call when I'm heading home to see if she needs me to pick up anything.
I encourage her every night to take a shower, because I know it helps her sleep better.
I do my best to let her know that I don't care if the house isn't clean, or if we don't constantly keep the kids entertained or home-schooled.
I help her to feel better about not having the energy to go to a Church function or help a friend when she's beat.
I love to buy her random presents, just because I think she'd like them.
I can deal with all of that. I love helping and serving my Wife. I love working together towards a common goal, and enjoying her companionship and company.
What I can't deal with is how her attitude and self-worth seem to go all Jekyll-and-Hyde on me, or worse, totally indifferent to me or my needs.
Sometimes what she feels like she ``needs'' to do and what she has the energy to do seem to fight the eternal battle inside her head, and I feel like I get caught in the cross-fire.
Sometimes she is so busy keeping the kids from destroying the house (or themselves), that she doesn't have time/energy for anything but wasting time on on-line comics or escaping into a mystery novel until bedtime.
Sometimes she gets a bad case of "Bad Mommy" syndrome, and feels she has to do everything in her power to make it up to the kids by spending as much time with them as she can.
Sometimes the infamous Migraine headache rolls into town, and when I get home all she can do is lie on the couch until it goes away.
Sometimes she's physically fine, and just seems to have the libido of a 5-year-old who doesn't have time to be bothered by her Cootie infested husband.
Sometimes she knows I want to be physically close to her, but doesn't have time/energy, and keeps me at arm's length so I can't "proposition" her, (because if I do it turns into a fight between guilt, exhaustion, control, and residual fear/pain from a past abusive relationship).
Sometimes her "ears are broken", and when I tell her I don't feel like changing the diaper because I just got home or was in the middle of something, you'd think I just made the most fowl-mouthed comment about her Mother, and I get the most poison-toughed "Fine! I'll do it myself!" you've ever heard, (followed by the cold shoulder for the rest of the night).
Sometimes I let her sleep for 4 hours on a Saturday afternoon, taking care of the kids and loading the dishwasher, but later that night when I won't get her purse from the car, you'd think I was a dead-beat husband who hasn't paid child-support in 5 years.
And the worst part is I know she's doing the best she can. It's like the Lyme and pain comes in and makes her forget about all the good stuff I do. If she acted the same way under normal circumstances during our courting, we never would have been married.
It's getting harder and harder to keep up the good stuff. There are times I come home at night, and just sit down and do nothing, because anytime I think about getting up to do something, I lost all motivation, because of the way things are at home. I can't even get myself going at work. I don't know if this is the way it's going to be, or if I'll ever have a healthy emotional and physical relationship with my wife, and therefore feel almost as trapped by the bug as she does.
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All you LD women out there - what is a loving husband to do? How do I get her back? How do I get her libido back? How do I convince her that I don't care about a dirty sink or dirty clothes, and that I'd much rather have a happy wife who uses more of her precious energy on her loving husband than on a dirty floor? How do I convince her that I'm not going to be like her last boyfriend who constantly disappointed her and manipulated her into doing things she didn't feel comfortable doing? How do I convince her that she is a wonderful mother, and she doesn't have to entertain the children all the time, and making them wait a little longer for lunch or skipping a meal here and there is just fine?
How do I keep up my resolve, and not feel like it's just too much and have to escape? How do I reprogram myself to not think that I have to be home every waking moment, (in-case of accident, injury, or emergencies she can't handle), and get out to do things to help with my own personal growth or recharging? How do I work on fighting my own demons and difficulties in life?
And most importantly, will it ever get better? Quitting/divorce is not an option, but I'm not sure how much more of this I can take...
Jill E.
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9121
posted
Domino,
I'm not married so I can only speak from long-term relationships but not marriage. But I applaud you greatly for going with your wife to her doctors' appointments so you can truly understand the disease. And also kudos for helping out so much with the house and kids.
I feel Lyme has made it almost impossible for me to ever hope to get married, so it gives me faith that there are spouses out there that are supportive.
As other people with Lyme will probably say, but I'll start the thought, is that the disease (diseases really, there is usually Lyme and coinfections) can cause tremendous mood swings. The diseases go into the brain, so a lot of what you are seeing is a physiological part of the disease itself.
Lyme can also disrupt all the hormones in a major way, from thyroid to female hormones. You may want to discuss this with her Lyme doctor, because there are various tests that may need to be done frequently to check hormone levels, perhaps thyroid medication is needed, etc. Many of us are dealing with this!!
On top of that, as you rightly pointed out, there is so much fear, anger, etc. for the patient and family members from dealing with the disease, being misdiagnosed, paying so much money out-of-pocket, seeing life's dreams melt away, etc.
Lyme is a very expensive disease to treat, so I don't know if you have any extra spending money (most of us don't). But if you can occasionally treat you and your wife to a housekeeping service, maybe that would help. It's something I'm trying to save up for. That way, you can get the house cleaned, and free up some of her energy for her relationship with you and the kids.
I've had to reorganize my priorities with this disease. I've told friends and neighbors that cleaning the house is now my lowest priority - that if they come visit, they're going to see some stacks of mail I haven't been through or whatever.
Because I only have so much time and energy, so that gets used up going to the doctors', dealing with side effects of meds, reading up on the disease, working, resting, going for a little walk to try to lift my mood, whatever. Make a list of what's now low priority and discuss those with your wife.
Is she able to take even a little walk around the neighborhood? I used to be athletic pre-Lyme but I can't anymore. But I can do a little walk and that lifts my spirits immensely, lets me get outside and chat with neighbors, etc.
I'm sure others will have great suggestions. This is a very supportive group of people - patients and family members here.
Take care, Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
You're a very intuitive man and you've done more than most husband's would do. Applause from me!!!
Is your wife still in treatment for Lyme?? Was she ever treated for bartonella? Sounds like she needs continued treatment. Bartonella is especially well-known for causing brain stuff like the rages...but Lyme could also be the cause.
I hope she has a good LLMD who will help her solve these problems. In the meantime, how about taking her out to eat [alone] and talking to her about all this?
good luck! Come here anytime!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Wow ! Kudos for all that you do ! I know very few husbands remotely close to being so helpful and sweet. This lyme thing is VERY evil and I truely believe the enemy will use it to the enth degree. PRAY ! And by all means get her OUT of the house ! Do this by YOU setting up all the arrangements.ie:babysitter,dinner,even getting her clothes ready...the least amount of decision making she has to do the better ! She needs SPACE from all that makes her guilty and uses up her strength.Seems like you do alot for that ...but getting her OUT of the house will make a big difference. I know when I was at my worst...still do...that getting out was key. I felt like I was free...from the disease, from my kids, from all that guilt ! Then don`t expect anything in return. Do this ...maybe several times...just to let her know you are thinking of only HER needs. If she feels like me she feels she has NOTHING left to give ! And PRAY ! : ) Bless you and your family, Susan
Posts: 1 | From Panhandle of WV | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
I am wondering if you have the support you need as a caregiver. This can be a very stressful role, regardless of the type of illness or health problem. Seems to me maybe you should look around for support yourself. Not sure what to suggest in this regard, maybe others will have ideas.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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quote:Originally posted by Lymetoo: ...Is your wife still in treatment for Lyme?? Was she ever treated for bartonella? Sounds like she needs continued treatment. Bartonella is especially well-known for causing brain stuff like the rages...but Lyme could also be the cause.
I hope she has a good LLMD who will help her solve these problems. In the meantime, how about taking her out to eat [alone] and talking to her about all this?
Her last two months of meds were to treat the big two co-infections. We go see "Dr. J" in NC. I find it very difficult to bring up the behavioral stuff with her in the room. My wife is a very sensitive person, and I'm not sure she accurately remembers what was said and how. The last thing I want to do is to make her feel like I'm attacking and have her kick into defensive/offensive mode. It's very much like a Pandora's Box - once she feels like I'm insulting or blaming her, all the guilt, fear, and anger come flooding back, and I'm usually the nearest target.
quote:Originally posted by lou: I am wondering if you have the support you need as a caregiver. This can be a very stressful role, regardless of the type of illness or health problem. Seems to me maybe you should look around for support yourself.
That's the hard part. I feel like I'm running out of steam, and I don't have anywhere to turn. I myself am starting to suffer from Carpel Tunnel, on top of the existing stress of dealing with "Second-hand Lyme", as well as parenting two very energetic (and disobedient) LD positive children. I have my own eccentricities to deal with, (can you say "Introverted Sub-Genius with a learning disability who perpetually feels naive and out of place in the world around him"?), but that's for another forum...
I've thought about taking up extra curricular activities, but my wife depends on me to help with the children after work, and I honestly don't have enough energy or time.
I guess this is another one of those situations where you just have to hunker down and wait for the storm to blow over...
Posts: 6 | From SC | Registered: Sep 2006
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
I really feel for you and for you wife. You sound like my husband, who is for a fact endlessly loving and supportive. He does all the laundry,all the dishes, calls me many times a day from work, demands that I have time to myself outside of the house and takes care of our son when I do (A NECESSARY SELF-INDULGENCE FOR YOUR WIFE, I totally agree)and so much more.
He hasn't laid a whisper of guilt on me that because of my illness we are going deeply in debt. And he has never made me feel bad for acting like a screaming lunatic, which I certainly am upon occasion.
In return, there are perhaps 5 times a day every day when I realize the depth of his sacrifice and how difficult all of this is for him. He has told me that he feels like in many ways I am simply not HERE any more- not to talk with, much less, geez, to have sex with, what's that?
But for 99.9% of the day I am not thinking about him or doing for him, because I can't. Not because I don't love him. Not because I'm unaware that he is always stressed, sometimes to the breaking point. Because I literally can't.
Because I literally can't think about more than one thing at a time, or do more than one thing a time, and I'm very lucky if I complete even that one thing or one thought before being distracted and forgetting entirely that iI was even HAVING a thought or doing a thing.
Because most of the time it takes ALL of my energy simply to make it through a day, having achieved nothing in particular besides not yelling at my 4 year son who I'm deeply aware grieves that I am sick, and who sometimes out of the blue asks me if I am going to die.
Because I am in pain ALL of the time, day and night, and most of that time it is excruciating. Even though I do my best to simply ignore it,it is THERE all the time, and believe me, pain will wear anyone down in time. And can you imagine, really, just how much energy of every kind it takes to be in pain all the time and to do anything at all, even what used to give you the most pleasure? The catch being of course, you have LESS energy than you can possibly have dreamed of before lyme.
Does that help at all? Perhaps it is similiar for your wife?
Well, for my husband, knowing all that only helps to a point, and not everyday, and certainly, not when he's being snapped at by me for no reason AT ALL. Here's what has helped us:
1. It is understood, respected, and honored between us that just because I am a chronic neuro-lymie doesn't mean I get to be abusive of my husband. I try to warn him ahead of time when I am feeling impatient, inncredibly irritable, irrational, anything that I KNOW ahead of time will cause us problems.
And when it creeps up on me unawares, most of the time I am apologizing to him in the same breath I am beating up on him. And then afterwards, again, so he understands I mean it.
2. I make a point of telling him, often, how much I appreciate him and all that he does every single day. I thank him for everything I see that he has done; about those dishes every day twice a day, for example.
3. I make him take time for himself, which is just as important as me taking time for myself. I have on many occasions flat out lied to him that I was having a good day of it, shooed him out of the house, sat my son in front of a TV, and collapsed for a couple hours.
What I'm saying is that your needs count too. I bet your wife understands and agrees with that. She just may not be able to communicate that awareness to you in a way that makes you feel as appreciated as you deserve to feel, especially given what lyme makes her ability to say that to you coherently less possible.
Your family is going through hell. If there ever was a time to seek support wherever you can find it, this is it. I hope you are already finding that here is such a place.
And, how about talking to a counselor a few times or more, one who has experience helping the chronically ill/and or their families? By yourself, or with your wife? Perhaps the more places to vent, the better...
I wish you all the best-- take care of YOURSELF too.
Dilly today
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
Domino,
I'm really glad you wrote; you're dealing with so much it's hard to know where to start.
It's also hard to know how to separate everything -- is this past behavior? Is it the Lyme? Is it me? Or her? Or the kids? That can be even trickier if she's not receptive to talking at this point.
One of the things that helped us was finding a therapist who specializes in couples who are dealing with chronic illnesses. We each also went to someone individually. Maybe that's something you could do on your own -- just to get some outside perspective.
In all honesty, my libido completely tanked several years ago. From full throttle to absolute zero. And nothing I've tried has started things going again. I keep hoping, though... There are some posts on Lymenet about lack of libido or sex drive. You could do a search; it's not all that uncommon.
So it may not be personal (likely isn't) but that doesn't mean it's easy or fair.
I'd never been sick until I got Lyme and really didn't have a lot of patience for people who were ill. That's all changed now; I've changed completely.
I've been in my relationshiop 16 years, and as grateful as i am for all the loving support and for our togetherness, I'm always aware of the burden my illness has been on my SO.
Maybe that's why they say sickness AND health...
I sure do hope you're able to find some suggestions that will help you and that you'll come back here and post whenever you have questions or just need to talk.
In the meantime, you take care of yourself, domino!
Andie
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
Geez, Domino, I was being so long winded I missed your second post. You are also dealing with two kids with lyme? Did I read that right?
My good man, you are most likely sitting on that couch wondering how to go on because you are CRISPY, fried, all used up, worn to the bone, nearing the absolute limits of your own ability to give, and hey, maybe even in a depression, which to my mind would be pretty darn understandable.
I think everyone here is saying the same thing to you- go get support for yourself, and lots of it. You won't be a help to anyone if you don't help yourself...
Dilly
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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Carol B
Unregistered
posted
Lyme is most definitely a Family Disease. My husband ws asking just the other day if there was a support group for spouses. I heard someone refer to AA-Antibiotics Anonymous-I think there should also be an LA-Lyme Anon.
Libido deficits, depression, lack of zest, lethargy, buzzing out (avoidance of externals) are effects of disease, medications, and to a degree, personal characteristics. If you do a search on this site, there have been previous discussions/concerns about these topics.
Perhaps some individual (for both) and joint counseling to help you both learn to express/communicate what both of your concerns are, and to find ways to reduce both of your frustrations and to find ways for both to learn appreciation of each other's experiences.
Patience and communication and validation for both of your experiences, while you are both on a stormy voyage. It is a fearful experience for all, since nothing is as it was in the past.
Also, many people here have used various antidepresants during therapy, or herbs to provide energy, and have checked hormones, gland functioning, etc. as they definitely are involved with long term embedded lyme .
This disease can either rip apart relationships, or bring a closeness that never would have been possible without experiencing life's tests (i.e. forging under fire). Northstar
Welcome Domino. I am sending you a PM, private message with 16 pages of newbie links/advise.
Northstar said it so eloquently above of the main things going on here. I was going to recommend counseling as well. Does your work employer offer anything? My state job did.
Also, ZOLOFT helps me with my ANGER/quick temper! It's done wonders for me & hubby so I don't fly off the handle like before...all lyme related.
Domino, you are a dream true; just like my dear hubby of 32 years next month!
Yes, with our fibromyalgia pain, it's extremely difficult to be held, touched, and even make love. I have SEVERE PAIN in that area.
My deep love & commitment to hubby remains as it's always been, but it still hurts us both that I no longer can have an enjoyable PAINFREE sex life!
Please continue coming here for guidance and to VENT. Perhaps some other spouses could correspond privately for you as well; it's worth a try.
So glad you looked for this 24/7 SUPPORT/education board. We're here for both of you.
Does your wife anyone else with lyme for support?
HOW ABOUT YOUR KIDS W/LYME; do they have support and are they being TREATED?
May God carry the burden for your entire family thru this terrible time in your life. Bettyg; I'll send you the PM now before I forget!
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TheCrimeOfLyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4019
posted
There is a support group on yahoo for caretakers of lyme disease patients. I think it is actually named something remotely close to that, but it does in fact exist.
As someone said, its hard to separate personal problems from lyme disease effects/after effects/medications, etc. Some of the problems frankly may or may not be the lyme disease.
I got married when I was 16 and was married for 10 years. I was a walking PICTURE of how you described your wife. Thing is, at that time, I didn't know why. I had no clue I had lyme. I just much preferred screaming at my husband and then ignoring him for countless hours because he didn't put the salt back where I wanted it. And lack of libido? WOW!
I can honestly say Im not like THAT since having my lyme discovered and treated. I can also say another reason I'm not like that is because I grew up. I'm NOT saying thats what is going on, but
I got married young, and I divorced him 10 years later. I just grew from there. I couldn't treat him right, so I left ( and got sick with lyme, or at least it made itself evident a year later).
When I did get lyme, I was with someone else. I was too sick to treat him bad. I needed him that much, but I did have my fair share of saying some pretty nasty things to him.
I hope this gets better soon.
-------------------- You want your life back? Take it. Posts: 3169 | From Greensburg, Pennsylvania | Registered: Jun 2003
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The moderator has had a whole raft of health problems.
My feeling is that you should check into the counseling thing that people suggested. Also look in the newspaper, as they sometimes have listings of support groups. Maybe there will be one that fits your situation.
Hope you find some support soon. This kind of thing is very hard on family relationships and there are far too many divorces, etc when major illness strikes a family. You would think that such things might make people closer and more appreciative of each other, but it sometimes works the other way. Don't want your family and marriage to be one of the casualties.
The caregiver role is getting a lot of press and attention these days, which should work to make things better. In my own family it worked well to get the caregivers some time off when they didn't have to think about illness.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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quote:Originally posted by sometimesdilly: Geez, Domino, I was being so long winded I missed your second post. You are also dealing with two kids with lyme? Did I read that right?
We have a positive IGG for my 5-year-old daughter, and a positive IGM for my 3-year-old son, (or is that backwards...).
It explains the random 103' fever they would get about every 28 days until they hit about 3-3 1/2, and their lack of impulse control when it's their "Lyme of the month".
They are currently not being treated. We are looking for a LLMD who treats children, but haven't found one in the South. We think we're going to take them to one in CT, but we're trying to get the wife stable before we subject the kids to ABX.
They are still young and crazy, so their symptoms just look like they are very disobedient children. But it takes a lot of energy to redirect the kids back to what they should be doing, all the while enforcing my wife's "no spanking" parenting style. If we had started treatment before we had kids, things might be a little less stressful, but we have two crazies that we have to take care of.
I actaully took them with me to visit a lady in our Church last night who has some medical problems. We stayed for about 30 minutes, all the while they were running around, touching everything, and constantly ignoring my commands to sit and be quiet. As we got up to leave, I asked my friend if there was anything I could do to help her, and after seeing the kids, she asked me if there was anything she could do for us!
I love the kids. After 2 miscarriages, (which were probably caused by Lyme), much heartache, and finally being able to carry to term, they are such blessing to us. They are loving, intelligent, and have a thirst for knowledge, but when Mom and Dad inform the kids that it's time for bed, all heck breaks loose, and it's like herding cats to get them ready and in bed.
In fact, I'll got to run right now to go have lunch with my daughter...
quote:Originally posted by sometimesdilly: I think everyone here is saying the same thing to you- go get support for yourself, and lots of it. You won't be a help to anyone if you don't help yourself...
Dilly
We currently are seeing a marriage counselor about once a month, but it really hasn't been helping. I think he is mainly used to dealing more with your run-of-the-mill petty argument stuff, and not the issues associated with chronic illness.
He has given us a few good general pointers on working through this together, but it all feels too generic, and assuming that my wife is always in conrol of her emotional state.
Honestly, the rules change way too often for any of that to be of use. One bad day, or migraine, or day when the kids trip off her hypersensitivity to touch, and we're back to square one.
What I really need is a book entitled "Emotional Calvinball for Dummies, or How To Live With And Love Your Lyme Disease Spouse"...
I do have an Employee Assistance Program through work. I guess I'll give them a call and see if anyone in their program is used to dealing with chronic illness.
Posts: 6 | From SC | Registered: Sep 2006
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quote:Originally posted by TheCrimeOfLyme: As someone said, its hard to separate personal problems from lyme disease effects/after effects/medications, etc. Some of the problems frankly may or may not be the lyme disease.
...
I can honestly say Im not like THAT since having my lyme discovered and treated. I can also say another reason I'm not like that is because I grew up.
I've also only known my wife while she was suffering from Lyme. When we were dating/engaged, she was just starting to break down, and the first year of marriage was like working in a Hospice. We were trying to work on our relationship, and enjoy the benefits of marriage, but she spent so much time laying down in our first apartment, that she dubs it "The year of the Couch-Woman".
Since then it's been a continual roller-coaster ride.
I may not have been physically young, but I was socially/emotionally naive. I've done a lot of growing up since then, but it has all been in the context of dealing with second-hand chronic pain.
I still don't know what are realistic expectations of a marriage, or other relationship, and what stuff the media wants you to buy into.
I guess that's the thing that makes me nervous about going to individual counseling - I don't know if I should work on adjusting my wants, or dealing with the Lyme stuff first.
For example - I'm really confused on my expectation for a healthy love life. I saved myself for marriage, and my wife is the only person I've been physically intimate with, so the only experience I have is with someone who's sex drive has been continually in jeopardy. I have no idea how a woman's libido is supposed to be like, other than what I've read in various books (Mars/Venus, etc). My wife's last long-term relationship was with some creep who was emotionally and quasi-sexaully abusive, and I know there is some left over scarring from that.
So the big confusing part is - is the root our our troubles me/her/ex-boyfriend/Lyme/little green men? And, even if we get to the root of the cause, will I ever have a healthy physical relationship, or will I always feel robbed of such a precious and powerful treasure?
Same thing with organizational styles, motivational styles, likes/dislikes, personality quirks, and just the possiblity for change. I have no idea what is set in stone, or what I can help my wife improve on, (or what she will allow me to help her improve on).
I just don't know what is the Lyme, what is baggage, what is pure stubbornness, and what is fear.
All I know is that I'm not feeling sustained, and I'm not trying to change her into someting she's not, I'm just trying to find that witty, sexy, vivacious, fun-loving, free spirit that I fell in love with, and do my best to continue to stay in love with.
Posts: 6 | From SC | Registered: Sep 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
Domino, great job of breaking up your 1st post and I loved how you did it! EASY TO READ!
Quoting Domino
"I actaully took them with me to visit a lady in our Church last night who has some medical problems. We stayed for about 30 minutes, all the while they were running around, touching everything, and constantly ignoring my commands to sit and be quiet. As we got up to leave, I asked my friend if there was anything I could do to help her, and after seeing the kids, she asked me if there was anything she could do for us!"
Domino, that was a wonderful statement! She offered to do something for YOU, please take her up on her KIND OFFER! See if she'll babysit the kids while you/wife have time together.
Anyone's offer to do ANYTHING for you, call them up and say you are accepting the offer they made awhile back. YOU NEED THEIR HELP.
Good, you have employee assistance at work. See if they have a LYME literate psychologist in your area to work with. Others WITHOUT LYME knowledge won't benefit either of you!
Domino, you have been gifted with putting into words your thoughts & feelings. Keep doing that; that will help you deal better with things.
IF...a simple 2 letter word, but none of us knows what will happen and IF that time of remission or cure WILL ever happen to us.
We take every day at a time, and some days every hour at a time.
I wish you/family the right people to contact to help you all along, and that your kids can be treated too so they don't have it for 30-50 years like some of us here ok!
God bless you for being such a wonderful husband, father, support, and soul mate to all.
Hope your road gets EASIER not more complicated than it already is. Bettyg
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posted
I went to Brazil to see the healer called John of God, look him up on internet. This was a very spiritual and religious experience for me. It changed my attitude from being a victim to being in charge of my body and my life.
Posts: 8 | From TAOS | Registered: Jun 2005
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quote:Originally posted by Takedownthemoon: I don't understand your analogy of "the libido of a 5 year old"?
Think cooties.
Although, it's probably more like a 6-7 yr old.
We actually had a very long talk about things this weekend. Things are actually getter better in bursts, but I'm just so scared that things will stay the same, that I don't notice it.
I guess it's just like any life-changing event. It's always darkest before the dawn.
Posts: 6 | From SC | Registered: Sep 2006
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