posted
I just got started on Paxil (sp?) for anxiety and it has now officially scared me. At first I didn't worry too much (it has that effect on you) but I couldn't cry anymore. Like I would get upset but I couldn't be miserable or even relativedly sad, as if I had a glitch or something.
Well, I told my mother and she was glad my moods weren't so up and down. I didn't know they were that bad that they had worried her.
Just now I was explaining I felt like the people I used to be jealous of. The people that are so happy albeit slightly ignorant and shallow. I feel like I've been watching -in third person- myself become just that except I'm... aware of it? And somehow it's really scaring me. It's like 1984 or something, this dumb pill is in my head. At least that's what it feels like.
When I was explaining how strange it was and that I might want off the pill I used an analogy. I have a good friend who's extremely happy and bubbly and rarely sad. I'll call her Jane. We were friends in preschool and whatever. I told my mum, "I feel like I'm becoming a Jane."
And then she said back, "You used to be just like Jane."
I used to get afraid that after Lyme I'd become someone I didn't like. It seems like it's coming true. Even now I cried for about a minute out of fright and then... just empty...
Posts: 28 | From North Carolina | Registered: Jul 2006
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
Alexis, I am not a Dr..Just a mom in this fight with my sleeves rolled up..
I have become very anti-psych meds..I know they help some and if you can find the right one and it doesn't mess you up then go for it..
But my daughter has been given them like candy..And it caused her to deteriorate into a miserable monster. That hated most of life and wanted to die on a daily basis.
Now I also must say that undiagnosed lyme and bart probably were hand in hand being major participants also..But you are correct, they make you something else..And it is scarry.
I am sure that your mom is very worried that you may need something and you may..Just be careful in the process and do not accept everything that the psychs tell you..Stay alert and stay safe.
After years of psych meds, we now discover it was never a serotonin issue..It is now a hypoperfusion issue..The critters were most likely damaging parts of the brain.
If you do not already have a journal, try to consider one and compare your symptoms with every change and go back and analyze the symptoms. If you use psych meds, check your notes for any positive or negative changes and decide accordingly.
But fight like hell to get well..hugs lymemomtooo
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Thank you, just what I needed. *hugs*
Posts: 28 | From North Carolina | Registered: Jul 2006
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char
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8315
posted
sent pm
Posts: 1230 | From US | Registered: Nov 2005
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Cobweb
Unregistered
posted
It's really hard to decide when to take psyche meds or not.I have a daughter who took Paxil when she was in fourth grade-and she changed from a kid who couldn't sleep or go out in public and worried that aliens were going to get her . Paxil got her through a rough year emotionally. But I agree -it seemed like she went from an anxiety ridden kid to one who nothing seemed to bother.
But I understand it is important that you be very aware of any negative thoughts you might have and not let them get ahead of you. Paxil worked for her- and I hope it works for you. She did not have Lyme that I know of.
Depression and anxiety have been two of my most chronic and difficult symptoms. A few years ago, before the Lyme diagnosis, I found an antidepressant/antianxiety that worked for me. Nardil, an old time medication.
In some ways it was great. Instead of my shy hesitant self I was outgoing. And I became the eternal optimist. The sense of panic with dizziness, heart pounding, feeling faint, and impending doom was gone.
This will sound odd -- I couldn't feel music emotionally, or get deeply involved in the lives of fictional characters in books or movies while I was on the medication. So I stopped the Nardil after ten months..
My mother and primary care doctor both had a difficult time with my decision. It was hard for my mother to see me in the depths of despair, not wanting to do anything at times or believing that I would get a diagnosis let alone well.
I'm doing much better now due to a combination of herbs, diet changes, excercise and finding a church and bible study to help me through the many tough times and give me a sense of meaning and purpose. Yoga and meditation have completely taken away the panic attacks. It isn't the same happy feeling I had on the Nardil, but I feel more.
take care
Posts: 628 | From the south | Registered: Dec 2005
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posted
It's not bad; she's awesome. My mum telling me that just made me sad. Like that's how I used to be. Pre-lyme.
The whole happiness thing just doesn't feel natural though (along w/ the emotional glitches) and I guess that's why I've gotten so afraid of it (Paxil). Various docs and my mum said side effects like "mood glitches" or "surface-y unnatural happiness" should wear off in a couple of weeks. As in every adult around me is convinced I will be jumping for joy in a few weeks for real. Or...sitting for joy in my case...
Posts: 28 | From North Carolina | Registered: Jul 2006
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![[confused]](graemlins/confused.gif)
At least that's what it feels like.
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
. Paxil got her through a rough year emotionally. But I agree -it seemed like she went from an anxiety ridden kid to one who nothing seemed to bother.
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