Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
I hope to find some words of encouragement. I am a mother to a 5yr old and 3yr old.
I have yet to see a LLMD, but have an appt. at the end of Nov.(could not get earliet appt). On doxy 100mg 2 x day, but feels this is masking symptoms.
I have good days, but today is not one of them.I feel like a bad mother. I am very short on patience and my children have been extra naughty/sassy lately as I've been ill. I have tears in my eyes as I write this.
I feel like I am letting my children down as I cannot do physically or mentally what they are used to Mommy doing with them.
Nobody in my family understands how I feel...I have little support. Just having a really bad day I guess. Thanks for letting me vent just a little.
Any words of wisdom are welcome. Love this board and am very grateful for the outlet as well as the information.
Sincerely, Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
I'm so sorry. Hang in there! I'm not a mommy yet so I can't really offer any solid words of wisdom...just my sincere sympathy. Just do the best you can! Hope it all starts looking up for you soon! Posts: 89 | From UT | Registered: Jun 2006
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Thanks for the support. If that is not enough, I just found out that I had an abnormal heart echo/doppler.. I'm so scared and worried. I feel like what bad thing is next that is going to happen to me..
Thanks! Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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cactus
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Member # 7347
posted
Geneal, you'll get through this, and your family will, too - just hang in there. When I finally got diagnosed (by a duck) and started on doxy, I thought I wouldn't even make it the 6 mos I had to wait for my LLMD appt. Wow, did I vent, too!
If there's anyone who is willing to help out, take all the help you can get - family, friends, neighbors. Even if it's just someone who can come over and play with the kids for awhile - maybe take them to the playground while you nap.
Someone here gave me a great bit of advice, when I was really having a tough time, which was to take the good times and just enjoy them - don't play catch up cleaning bathrooms or whatever, just use your good times to create good memories and moments with your kids. I hope you have some good moments so you can do that, too.
On a very practical note (not sure if that's what you're looking for), we also weeded out any thing that spelled extra work - no more houseplants, little things like that. And learned to cut a lot of corners - despite very strong feelings about the environment, we kept a supply of paper plates, napkins, etc. We also began cooking in large batches and freezing prepared food for later, so we could pull stuff out quickly. Anything to conserve energy.
Hang in there, Cactus
-------------------- �Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?� - A.A. Milne Posts: 1987 | From No. VA | Registered: May 2005
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Thanks Cactus,
Great advice and thanks so much for the support. I know that other people have been through this and more. Thanks for the positive slant.....gives me something good to focus on.
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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char
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8315
posted
Hi Geneal,
Sorry it is so tough for you right now.
My kids and I have been sick. I could not do much more than feed, medicate and shuffel them to dr for the first part of my treatment. I comforted them of course; but felt guilty for what I could not do. It was real hard for me to stand to have conversations with them because of my irritablility and fatigue, which was not good as they were 11 and 13.
Good news is that they are doing weel 2 yrs later, and do not appear to be scarred for life.
Our society stresses entertaining our kids, but they can learn to play and amuse themselves like we did. Also, computer and video is ok. Some of the best advice I got here, believe it or not, was to let my son play on computer all day when he was miserably sick and I was too weak to redirect. His brain didn't turn to mush and he is fine and not hopelessly addicted. People without lyme don't get this.
You have very young ones, of course. Can you nap when they nap? Make them nap or stay in there rooms quietly.
This got long and maybe too bossy--I am just really feeling for you!
Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Hi Char,
I have some unusual living circumstances as most of my house was destroyed by Hurricane Katrina.
We currently live in two bedrooms and a hallway. One bedroom for sleeping and the other for tv.
It doesn't matter where I am...lack of available space means the kids are with me too. You know the "can't go to the bathroom by myself" party.
Thanks so much for the response and encouragement. Some days just hit me harder than others.
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
Geneal,
You've been through so much this past year...with struggling just with basic survival issues and dealing with your illness.
My heart really goes out to you.
My first thought was for you to cut yourself some slack. You're doing hte best you can under less-than-ideal circumstances. And if you're only having a bad day every now and then, I'd say your best is pretty darn good.
I started to say something about your and your girls, but honestly, I'm not a parent, so anything I'd suggest might sound wrong.
Things that might help: keeping an online journal where you talk about what's going on and how you're feeling. There's a good one that's password protected at my-diary.org (I think that's right).
The second thing is keeping a daily chart that tracks all your symptoms. This can be an invaluable resource during your first LLMD appointment and can also help you track reactions to meds, etc. There's a good, printable chart at this site: lymepa.org
You take care of yourself; we're all cheering for you!
Andie
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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char
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8315
posted
House destroyed by Katrina? Oh my gosh!
How are plans for your rebuilding or moving going?
You poor thing. The living situation alone would be enough to drive a person, even one with resiliance who loves the kids deeply, batty!
I do remember those can't go to bathroom days. I yi yi.
Hope you will keep us posted and feel free to reach out for support as you can and need. Venting is always allowed!
I read your post and had tears in my eyes. I have been there....Mom and guilt go hand in hand unfortunately.
When I was sick, i felt just as you do. But try to keep in mind, you will be helping your kids by helping yourself. Just hang in there for that doctor's appointment. I didn't have much support either. I think my husband just thought I was lazy then.
Just be there for your kids in the best way you can. If that means lying on the couch playing go fish or watching them color..then do it .You are sick! Try not to feel guilty. Your down and out for awhile...until you get to the doctor. Your kids are resilient. My kids turned out fine and I was where you are...where on some days, I just went up and laid in my bed. Whoever gave the advice...to make the most of the good times...is right. On your good days...enjoy your kids! Hang in there
-------------------- Jenn Posts: 9 | From New Jersey | Registered: Oct 2006
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I am so sorry you have been through so much between Katrina, relocation, child wrangling, etc.
I also have two children, ages 4 and 9. I can totally relate to the guilt that you feel. I feel that many days I am "free-falling" and snapping at them as I go. Dinners are late, afterschool support is rushed because I am in need of the p.m. nap, cleaning up is a cranky experience, enjoying each other is difficult...
That said, I agree with Char. It's okay to let your kids entertain themselves. It is a life lesson for them to see you when you are ailin' and wailin' and how you recover in between to love them. My kids have grown to respect my need for a Lyme nap.
They giggle and have fun near me, but not on me. Ages three and five are tough: so, coloring, playdough, tv, books on tape, puzzles, glue-sticking macaroni on paperplates... are easy to watch without too much trauma.
There are days when I feel like I'm barely functioning and that's when I tell myself that I only have to do one thing -- like play one game of goldfish or cook one decent meal.
Hang in there. The Mommy Road is long without Lyme; with Lyme it feels longer, but it's the same length and our kids still love us just the same.
Best O'best,
wiserforit
Posts: 508 | From Banks of the Hudson | Registered: Jul 2006
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Sorry I haven't replied. Took the kids to my sister's out of town to go trick-or-treating.
Thanks soooo much for all of your words of encouragement. I pray a great deal, which helps.
It helps to know that someone else has walked in these shoes. I will keep all of you in my prayers as well.
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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