I know that so many of you have such bigger problems and I almost feel guilty for posting here...but I'm feeling a bit depressed right now.
My daughter, positive for Lyme - thanks to me passing it on to her in utero & also because I naively sent her to Girl Scout camp for a couple of years..., has quite fortunately not shown any physical or cognitive symptoms for the disease to date.
Ocassionally I wonder if I'm witnessing emotional Lyme symptoms or just regular pre-teen girl behavior. It's a difficult time period for that...
But she's been quite intelligent all her life; eligible for Mensa after her first standardized testing at the end of Kindegarten.
As a 7th grader, she is part of the Duke Talent Identification Program and is eligible to take the SAT in January, which would open up additional opportunities for her, academically speaking.
All I had to do was register her online & pay the @#$* fee.
When I went to do it intially, I couldn't find the required test scores & school ID# because my level of organization with paper is....chaotic at best.
So - in my mind, the deadline was Dec. 10th, and I just put it off because of being busy with other family stuff, being sick, and being a growing Lyme advocate/activist.
I sat down today, which I thought was the deadline - ready to get her registered at the last minute - only to discover that the deadline was on Nov. 30th -- the day we were at the protest.
I just feel so guilty that my brainfog or my *busy-ness* with other activities has taken such control of my limited mental capacity that I'm now taking away opportunities for my daughter; opportunities that she has earned.
I've placed a call to someone at Duke to see if they will make an exception - but if they don't I'm just going to be riddled with guilt.
I want to shake it off - but maybe I shouldn't. Maybe I should let it simmer for awhile so I will learn not to procrastinate such things.
I'm just heartbroken that my daughter has to *suffer* from my cognitive failures.
Again - I know in the big scheme of things this is not a big problem and I should stop being a baby....I just want the best for MY baby and I feel like I'v failed her in a way. No mother wants that.
-------------------- DR. Wiseass NOT a real doc - just a real wise Posts: 792 | From USA | Registered: Jan 2005
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3greatkids
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3838
posted
Hey Wise *** ,
Ok now,remember where you went and why you missed that deadline.You were there showing her that you are trying to make it a better world for ALL of us.
I think that is a great lesson,you are a great teacher and hey,it's 7th grade.Your daughter will be OK.She's your daughter,after all
If it means anything to ya,I've lived thru the same,missed I don't know how many events because of this H*** of a disease and have cried myself silly because of it.
Has she read The Marino Mission?If not,get her a copy,and next time she has the chance to take those tests,she will really ace it!
Maybe send her to a summer program Duke offers,writing?They have many,that is a good foot in the ole door too.
lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
As the mother of three and a former teacher myself let me tell you that while this seems huge at the moment, it is NOT going to end her life, or close her options!
Over the next few years you will be flooded with opportunities for her excel, so don't spend too much time grieving over one missed deadline.
I agree that by being in NY for the protest you were teaching her a much more valuable lesson than anything she can learn from Duke.
The things you are modeling for her now will be with her for the rest of her life, and I promise she will thank you for them one day. My kids already do, and they range in age from 24 to 30.
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
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Your posts brought tears to my eyes. I do appreciate your kindness & understanding.
I just know that I'm no perfect mother and this illness is not just MY illness, but a family illness too. It's caused our lives to be different from what I had imagined for us all...and ocassionally I get emotional -- frustrated, overwhelmed...just tired of not being "normal", and not being able to provide lots of "normal" opportunities for my daughter.
However, I do believe you are right - I do believe that she is learning something from this experience that, hopefully, will give her a sense of strength that will last a lifetime.
Blessings & thanks to you both,
-------------------- DR. Wiseass NOT a real doc - just a real wise Posts: 792 | From USA | Registered: Jan 2005
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posted
I just wanted to thank you all again for your kindness & encouragement, and to let you know I contacted "the" woman from Duke and expalined a bit about my cognitive challenges due to Lyme disease....
...and she said I could go ahead & finish registering her today - that they'd officially close registration this evening.
I know my daughter will be happy that she's not going to miss this opportunity to take the SAT as a 7th grader; I also know there's going to be a part of her that dreads it because she'll have to do a bit of studying over Christmas break! ha!
But I'm just so happy that they let me register late.
Again - I know in the big scheme of things, this is not a big deal. It's just I'm afraid if I have a series of small disappointments (mostly with regard to my disease & how it effects my daughter) - I don't want them to add up to some monster thing in her mind that sends her screaming into psychotherapy when she's an adult.
Although it would probably be wise if we not only saved up for college...but started a psychotherapy fund for her. I think most parents should do that...my hubby had to pay for mine, when in fact it should have been my parents' responsibility because it was mostly about them! (sorta)
Thanks for listening y'all.
Hugs & Kisses,
-------------------- DR. Wiseass NOT a real doc - just a real wise Posts: 792 | From USA | Registered: Jan 2005
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quote:Originally posted by DR. Wiseass: I just wanted to thank you all again for your kindness & encouragement, and to let you know I contacted "the" woman from Duke and expalined a bit about my cognitive challenges due to Lyme disease....
...and she said I could go ahead & finish registering her today - that they'd officially close registration this evening.
Yippeeee!!! That's wonderful!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
isn't it sweet when the world around us is helpful?
happy it worked out, and good luck to your daughter!
(bright kids usually don't come out of nowhere. Surely the motivation she has to exceed norms comes from watching you rise to your challenges.
And, should also remind you that under your brain-fogged lyme brain, you're still pretty intelligent yourself )
Posts: 169 | From former Philadelphian | Registered: Jun 2006
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posted
Glad it worked out for you and your daughter.
I have 3 children and it is a challenge with remembering so much.
You are right when you said this is a family disease because it so affects everyone not just me.
I cry many times thinking what a horrible mom I am because I can't remember who needs to go where etc.
Last week I forgot to pick up my 14 year old at cheerleading. Great huh!
When she called me I could not believe I forgot. She said "Thats ok mom, I know you have brain smog". I laughed so hard when she said that.
I told her I call it brain fog, but who cares, she knew what she was talking about.
Anyway, I feel for you. I'm right there with you.
Love and Hugs,
Karen
Posts: 151 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Nov 2006
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lymie tony z
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5130
posted
I agree with all the good stuff and especially TUTU...
But I can't get all gushy n stuff(it would ruin my rep)
Just keep being a WISEass cuz whimpyass does'nt even sound good....
zman
-------------------- I am not a doctor...opinions expressed are from personal experiences only and should never be viewed as coming from a healthcare provider. zman Posts: 2527 | From safety harbor florida(origin Cleve., Ohio | Registered: Jan 2004
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