posted
Oh My Doc don't do it. The sex isn't worth the tax burden.
If you get a divorce you'll have to change your tax status and they'll really take you to the cleaners.
Posts: 681 | From California | Registered: Oct 2005
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lymednva
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posted
I am a "mature" woman and I can't explain it, Doc!
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
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posted
I don't know if I can explain it or not, but I have a friend who rarely had sex with her fiance, and when they broke up she was much more willing.
For her I imagine the change was in trying to hold on to him. I also think, however, that when sex (or the lack thereof) becomes is an ongoing issue in a relationship it easily snowballs into more serious problems.
For example, this friend just never wanted to have sex; her fiance did, and ended up feeling like a pervert and like any touch (holding hands, hugging) was being viewed by her as a sexual advance.
Sick of being rejected and feeling bad, this great guy just stopped any tenderness altogether.
When he finally broke it off, the pressure was off her to have sex and off him to want it from her and feel bad about it.
Viola! they had multiple goodbye "hook-ups."
Another analysis of my friend: to this day, I think part of her rarely having sex with him had to do with the fact that she's a strong, independent woman who confused having sex with giving in or showing weakness.
That is to say, she felt she shouldn't have to have sex to have a good relationship because it compromised her womanhood in some way.
To me, that's a tremendous contradiction; I've advised her to get counseling in that area! Poor girl doesn't know what she's missing out on!
Sorry if this is a ramble; I hope at least a tiny part of it helps you out? Good luck!
Posts: 106 | From Michigan | Registered: Oct 2006
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just don
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Member # 1129
posted
Stymie,
As 'poorly' as I understand women, here's my guess.
If she didnt 'like' it before chances are she wont now either. The comment "IF" she gets lonely she will come over.
Chances are THAT isnt going to happen!!! Nudder words,dont count your chicks before they hatch!!!
Women prefer to be "IN" power, its retaliation for those eons of repression we 'dudes' have inflicted upon them.
I just heard on the news tonight that(for the FIRST time in history) 51% of all females are living outside of marriage. They are single, non-married. Also statistics given, said, 70% of all black women are leading the single life also!! IF thats NOT liberated women,,,dont know what is.
Those previous numbers didnt say that those women were not 'relating' or even living with men,,,just not married to them.
Some women regard men as neanderthals(whatever THAT is!!).
SOME women regard ANY and ALL men as not being 'good' enough for THEM. Not all women,,,but a significant portion of them. These women are LONG term single again,,,and will be,,probably forever,,unless some super hero trips her trigger!!
Chances of that happening are slim and none!!
SOME women follow the trail of money and prestige. I know some guys that have been chased to death,because they had a great paying job.
The prestige part,I will leave THAT up to you being you qualify for that parameter, I dont. Some times retired professionals can lead to too much 'home' and 'togetherness' time,,,a strain on ANY relationship!! AND not what the lady might prefer.
Alot of ladies think to much togetherness is smothering!!!
Most EVERY marriage is worth expert counseling,,,to get to the root of the real problem,,,not just the symptom!! Marriage encounter is excellent program I am TOLD!!
Women are much more comfy being all on their own these days compared to say 100 or even 50 years ago. Roles are just NOT the same.
Any marriage where a 50-50 'shared' responsibilities and obligations arent equally viewed by the partners,,,is doomed from the get go!!
Now YOUR question of"Is divorced sex legal???" As I am aware of the laws, and I certainly am not for your state,,,any sex is legal,,,between consenting adults of legal age.
Would you 'want' to?? Dunno that one,,,but do you really feel safe doing so?? What ifs could fill a book,,,lots of ways to get your undies in a tight bunch there!!!
I didnt intend to offend all the ladies on this board,,,I am SURE I have tho,,,and have to admit,,,I apparently dont know enough about the female gender. I am allowed to look, but not touch!!!
Thats why I live alone,,,I cant figurem out either!!! I will leave you with this the 'man's prayer' as taught by my Uncle Red Green(see redgreen.com)(really,take a look at redgreen.com) (LONG, long pause between each line)
"MAN'S PRAYER"
I am a man,
but I can change,
if I have to,
I-GUESS!!!
Now ALL the ladies can flame me, roast me on the spit, and chew me up!!!being--just don--
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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I knew a guy who had three girl friends and he wanted to marry one of them, he just didn't know which one.
He gave each of them $15000 just to see what they would do with the money.
No. 1 girlfriend bought herself a makeover, new clothes and told my friend she did it just for him.
No. 2 girlfriend bought him a new computer, new GPS for his car and three new suits for him.
No. 3 girlfriend invested all $15000 in an internet stock. She did great, kept the original $15k and gave my friend all of her profits.
Three great girlfriends each with their own way of showing him their affection.
He married the one with the biggest breasts!
There's a moral somewhere in there, I'm just not sure what it is.
Posts: 681 | From California | Registered: Oct 2005
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Jill E.
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9121
posted
Well, I feel like I just walked into a fraternity party!
But I'll be brave and throw in my two cents' worth. Like Lymdnva, I'm a mature woman.
Obviously, DocDave, I don't know your wife. But it sounds like she still wants to leave the door open to enjoy intimacy in a safe, comfortable, no-pressure way - when she wants it, when the reality of how lonely the single life can be hits her. Without the responsibilities of marriage and being there through the difficult times.
Personally, I think the "in sickness and in health" part of a vow should be taken seriously. But that's her decision.
I'm no attorney, but why wouldn't divorce sex be legal? But is it smart emotionally for both partners? I doubt it. If you two still keep the connection going, even just now and then, it keeps an emotional connection going, too. And so neither of you can fully heal and move one.
Does she have any single gal friends? Does she have any idea of how challenging the dating world can be for baby boomers? And I would think, even more so with kids? I think it could be a rude awakening for her.
Lymedad, your post about the three women is, unfortunately, too true - reminds me of some of the people I used to meet when I lived in Los Angeles!
Good luck DocDave,
Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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So if I divorce my husband I may get more sex then I'm getting now? Woo Hoo!
I always thought he just figured he has me and doesn't have to try anymore. He would then try and woo me if we weren't together.... Hmmmm
BTW --- I don't consider myself a mature women that just sounds so old. Sorry girls... (Although I probably am)
Oh and Don --- I don't know the kind of women you have been with but man I am sorry you feel that way. I personally don't want to be "in" power, I've never been one of those femanist types.
posted
Doc, The one thing I do know is that lyme works in insidious ways on our relationships. It can be extremely subtle. Take note of the many divorces here on Lymenet for instance.
Couple this with the frustration of getting well.
If one or both of you are feeling this way, well it stresses your marraige. My husband and I have been married a long time and this disease has been a serious stress to us too.
My first thought is that she wants to keep the door open in your relationship....not necessarily for intimacy.
I would think she would be moving on in all ways if she were thoroughly done with the marraige-but then again if she doesn't come back, maybe she is?
I'm sorry this has happened. ************************************ JD said: Some women regard men as neanderthals(whatever THAT is!!)/
Don, I think you've gleaned your thoughts on women from off topic!! Cave and myself have had silly Neanderthal conversations there--the men/women type of bantering that no one really believes.
Simply in fun and because Joe returns his barbs with such enthusiasm....
At home, I do happily relinquish control of the remote---------sometimes
treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
Not to get personal but to understand. Why is she leaving you whats her story?
Maybe she really still cares but just cant handle what lyme has done?
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
the short of it is ,ready for thid folks. don't blush. it is about a manage a trois. get your dirty minds out of the gutter.
we live in a closed knit gated community. unforunately 99% jewish, and the women are 50% JAP jewish american princesses. my life , by dr, dave klein
my first dental practice was in charleston,sc, lost to hurricane hugo. moved to philly for corporate job, did not agree with ethics of company. found practice ,purchased, and the front desk woman was very good with people. i kept her for 13 years, till i got sick. she was also the wife of the dentist i brought the practice from.
we became very close spending 10 hours a day in the office, andcould confide in each other.
she moved to palm beach, and i decided since she had a group of friends, i could join the group and not put effort into making friends.
well she turned into the gossip of the club. all the confidential stuff i used to talk to her about, became public knowledge,
now the trois, my mother has been friends with her and talks to her 2 times a month.
so all gossip went from her thru the club to my mom, and back to me distorted.
so my wife thinks i had an affair with this woman but it was only a friend relation.
so rumors spread galore in this community, and my wife went over the theshold and left.'
docdave
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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dontlikeliver
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posted
If your whole divorce/separation is about gossip and misunderstandings, and if you want to save your marriage, then I think that somehow you need to get this woman (ex-receptionist) and your wife into the same room and talk this over...
DLL
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just don
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posted
Dave, I will second what 'Dont-like-liver'JUST said
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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sometimesdilly
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posted
hey doc dave-
you're talking about the sex part but not about intimacy. women in general most of the time really like the intimacy part to come first. maybe there was an intimacy problem first?
these are all questions maybe to ask yourself but you sure don't need to reply to here.
does she really think you cheated on her? what does that say about her level of trust of you/the marriage? were there other reasons before the friend-thing that made her feel (rightly or wrongly) she had reason to doubt you/your feeligns towards her?
were/are the two of you able to talk about emotional stuff together? to work out differences before they got huge?
did you ever try counseling?
do you want to stay married to this woman, or are you feeling lonely and uprooted rejected, etc., feelings that understandable but SEPARATE from how you feel about her and however painful, only temporary.
given the above possible context, and to answer your question directly- i imagine what you hear is less about sex than about ambivalence- a way of not shutting the door all the way.
Maybe she's asking you in the most indirect way imaginable-perhaps because she doesn't want to get hurt- to prove somethig to her and come chasing after her.
I did the come chase thing in a less dramatic way with my husband for awhile. Then I learned to genuinely trust him and to respect that he was separate and different without feeling threatened by that. In other words, I grew up. It takes two.
best wishes. whichever way it turns out, you'll still have you.
dilly
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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Jill E.
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posted
Hi,
I second Dilly's suggestion about the counseling. If the main issue is truly that she believes in something that isn't true, counseling or mediation of some type should get to the bottom of this.
Sounds like there are many issues that make it all more complicated, the stress of illness, friends and family members taking sides, etc.
Heck, I have lots of male friends from work - after all, pre-Lyme I worked tremendously long hours and that's how we would all make friends. But it's clearly platonic and no one has ever doubted that.
There has to be a solution, but I think a neutral, professional third-party like a counselor needs to be involved.
Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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If you were having a friendship with this women, and spending time with her. Your wife may have felt neglected. To a women, when a men spends even TIME with another women (and talking is very intimate) they feel as if they were cheated on.
She may have wanted you to have that kind of friendship or confidence with her.
Most of the time women leave when they feel that they are not wanted or needed in the relationship. Or that you don't appreicate her anymore.
Maybe you were giving to this other women what your wife wanted from you.....
stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
yes conseling for 3 years straight
ARE YOU CRAZY- THEY'LL KILL EACH OTHER!!!
WELL MAYBE NOT SO CRAZY.
MY THERAPIST CALLS IT EMOTIONAL AFFAIR, NOT PHYSICAL BUT EMOTIONAL. LEAVE IT TO A WOMAN.
caveeey i'm having xxx thoughts also, but about magic acorn!!!!!! love that sexy superman outfit.
my wife has never been a real intimate person. she does not show her affection outwardly. i however, am just the opposite. she does not like to kiss in public. she had just started letting me hold her hand in public.
i usually have to walk to steps behind and to the right!!!!!lol.
no i don't want sex with her if she leaves but will try to be friends, to make the divorce as stress less as possible.
this fight triggered the worst bought of lyme i've had for many many years.
i was actully in remission for 2 weeks prior to this stress
docdave Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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MagicAcorn
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Member # 8786
posted
The Doc said:
caveeey i'm having xxx thoughts also, but about magic acorn!!!!!! love that sexy superman outfit.
-------------------- Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
I've read research that claims men think that their partner having a physical affair is worse, while women feel that their partner having an emotional affair is worse.
This has been theorized to have to do with biology; men need the assurance that the kid they're raising is theirs, and women need assurance that the man they're "depending" on won't go take care of some other woman.
I could share many stories about what made me convinced this might be true (when I first heard it I thought it was ridiculous), but I'll spare you!
Again, good luck!
Posts: 106 | From Michigan | Registered: Oct 2006
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MagicAcorn
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posted
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sometimesdilly
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posted
(Magic Acorn- fabulous! )
Doc- sorry for my genuinely sexist assumptions. sounds like perhaps it was YOU in search of the intimacy thing, that you found it with this friend, and that's why the friendship felt so good to you.
i bet there are plenty of ladies out there longing for a cuddly fellow, even where you are, behind the gates. maybe one of them already has her eyes on you and is biding her time.
as my mom always said, close one door and another opens....
dilly
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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just don
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posted
Doc Dave,
Been thinking about your situation, here is my advice -for what it's worth-
Ask your wife out on a date,,,better yet a series of dates,,,one at a time,of course.
Take her to HER favorite resturant, wine and dine her to the max.
Take her to her favorite opera, musical, movie, amusement park,
DO NOT talk or even allow the convo to go there,,,to the sex subject, nahda, none. If it trys to go there change the subject like a blushing 12 year old little boy!!(Thats too bashful to talk to his dad about it!!)
DO NOT talk about your receptionist. NEVER. If her name comes up from your wife. Tell her instead"YOUR the one I love, no one else!!"
Keep this up for as long as possible,,,at LEAST 2 months. Talk,,,really 'talk' with HER! And really listen to what she says. And let her KNOW you heard what she said.
Maybe what she is really getting away from is that 'gated' society?? Is she really happy living there? Would someplace else,,,be happy land for HER?? Away from her percieved 'problem' receptionist???
Ponder all these things in your heart and do the RIGHT thing here!!! IF you LOVE her,tell her,,,if you dont want to lose her,,,dont,,,back to dating 101 (without sex). Being alone isnt ANY fun for her or yourself. Be atuned to HER feelings,,,they are all that counts!!!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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hopeful123
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posted
i am not addressing the sexist assumptions above. here is my point. just because 51% of the women in this country are alone, does NOT mean that that is what they prefer.
i, personally, would prefer to be in a loving relationship. wishing, does not make it so.
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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just don
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Member # 1129
posted
Gee Cool Cave,
Thought you would NEVER ask!!!
Problems arise here,,,I think I am too OLD for ya!!
Beings how I turned 156 last birthday!!
BUT the thought is as cool as you are!!
But what about me being a 'mortal' MAN???
Since I cant be more than --just don--
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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treepatrol
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 4117
posted
quote:Originally posted by stymielymie: so all gossip went from her thru the club to my mom, and back to me distorted.
so my wife thinks i had an affair with this woman but it was only a friend relation.
so rumors spread galore in this community, and my wife went over the theshold and left.'
docdave
Talk to your wife slowly and tell her the absolute truth then move your butt out of this so called community. If what you said here is everything you should be able to work it out. But you need to get out of that so called community your lives you and your wife are yours NOT the back stabbing gossiping bunch your in the middle of.
gossip
* noun 1 casual conversation or unsubstantiated reports about other people. 2 chiefly derogatory a person who likes talking about other people's private lives.
The Bible lists whisperers and backbiters {or those who gossip} along with those who are,
Rom 1:29-31-FILLED WITH ALL UNRIGHTEOUSNESS, FORNICATION, WICKEDNESS, COVETOUSNESS, MALICIOUSNESS; FULL OF ENVY, MURDER, DEBATE, DECEIT, MALIGNITY; WHISPERERS, BACKBITERS, HATERS OF GOD, DESPITEFUL, PROUD, BOASTERS, INVENTORS OF EVIL THINGS, DISOBEDIENT TO PARENTS, WITHOUT UNDERSTANDING, COVENANT-BREAKERS, WITHOUT NATURAL AFFECTION, IMPLACABLE, UNMERCIFUL.
This know also, 2 Tim 3:1-5-THAT IN THE LAST DAYS PERILOUS TIMES SHALL COME. FOR MEN SHALL BE LOVERS OF THEIR OWN SELVES, COVETOUS, BOASTERS, PROUD, BLASPHEMERS, DISOBEDIENT TO PARENTS, UNTHANKFUL, UNHOLY, WITHOUT NATURAL AFFECTION, TRUCEBREAKERS, FALSE ACCUSERS, INCONTINENT, FIERCE, DESPISERS OF THOSE THAT ARE GOOD, TRAITORS, HEADY, HIGH-MINDED, LOVERS OF PLEASURES MORE THAN LOVERS OF GOD; HAVING A FORM OF GODLINESS, BUT DENYING THE POWER THEREOF: FROM SUCH TURN AWAY {turn away from false accusers or malicious gossips}.
I hope you dont take me wrong the God that wrote the Torah is the same who wrote the Bible. I hope it works out for you.
What does the Torah say about gossip?
A. Gossip in Hebrew is Lashon Hara, which literally means 'the evil tongue.' Lashon Hara is Negative Mitzvah #301; it essentially outlaws gossip, true or false, about others or even one's self.
B. Rabbi Israel Meir Kagan, a renowned Jewish leader of pre-WWII Europe, spent his lifetime campaigning against Lashon Hara, writing an entire compendium, the Chafetz Chaim, on the subject, in which he connects a whole ton of Torah prohibitions (31) to the sin of loose lips.
For beginners, though, there are three basic no-nos: gossip, Lashon Hara itself, and defamation. C. By 'gossip,' the Torah means prattling pointlessly about people: simply uttering neutral, non-damaging facts.
The Torah uses the Hebrew word rechilut--'peddling'--for gossip: buying, selling and trading worthless words wherever you go. By 'Lashon Hara,' the Torah means repeating negative truths about others -- the most damaging form of evil talk.
And by 'defamation,' the Torah means repeating negatives untruths about others -- rumors, innuendo, second-hand stories.
If you think ill of someone, you will speak ill of him... Conversely, if you think positively of him, you will speak positively of him How do I not speak Lashon Hara?
1. Use your head
Based on Rabbi Kagan's widely accepted interpretation, Lashon Hara begins in the mind. If you think ill of someone, you will speak ill of him, no matter what you say. Conversely, if you think positively of him, you will speak positively of him, no matter what you say. Lashon Hara thus really boils down to Ahavat Yisrael: having the right attitude towards people.
2. Use your soul
If your attitude is one of genuine concern and love, then even if you speak negative words, they are not Lashon Hara since they originate in genuine concern and love. Conversely, if you've got a nasty attitude towards an individual, then even if you speak positive words, it's gonna come out negatively--after all, you just don't like the guy. So for long term results, work on your Ahavat Yisrael--the stoppage of Lashon Hara will come automatically.
3. Be a nice guy
If you're in a situation where someone says something bad about someone, either find something positive about him to respond with, or politely smile and say nothing. Bear in mind, though, that listening to negative reports, true or false, will negatively affect your view of the person it's about, so you're better off just excusing yourself or politely changing the subject. If you're really strong-minded, though, you should try to drive the new impression you've just got out of your head.
-------------------- Do unto others as you would have them do unto you. Remember Iam not a Doctor Just someone struggling like you with Tick Borne Diseases.
MagicAcorn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8786
posted
Tree,
Great topic Gossip. Also according to Jewish thought just listening to Gossip is harmful. Because you now have a skewed view of the harmed even if it is not true. It is hard to deal with the gossiped person later on without remembering what was said about them.
So just listening to gossip is bad.
Oh....Doc Dave the folks here have given you much to think about.
-------------------- Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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savebabe
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Member # 9847
posted
Why divorce? Why don't you just seperate? Believe me I am married to a divorce attorney and after the $$$ you will pay out each month for spousal support you won't want any nookie.
Posts: 1603 | From ny | Registered: Aug 2006
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
well something just came up last night. my wifes uncle came down to florida.
he is 82 yo and not in good health. he is also a multimillionare. he WANTS US TO STAY TOGETHER AND IS CHANGING HIS\ WILL SO THAT SHE WILL NOT GET MONEY UNLESS WE ARE MARRIED.
guess who's coming back home and wants to work it out. wonder why?????????
we had dinner with him last night and he actually likes me more than her.
he wants us to try to stay together, and his estate, not all but probably several million will be in trust to both of us.
so i think i can live with this option, even if she lives on the other side of the mansion,lol
i would not even think of divorcing now, even if seperated, since our assets will divide 50% at divorce.
money is a strong motivator for staying together at this point.
docdave$$$$$$$
Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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Jill E.
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posted
DocDave,
I hope things work out, whatever the motivating force is. The main thing is to get well, have less stress and be happy.
Now that you are going to be in the money, perhaps you'll contribute a DocDave wing to Tony Z's Lyme Treatment Center!
Take care, Jill
-------------------- If laughter is the best medicine, why hasn't stand-up comedy cured me? Posts: 1773 | From San Diego | Registered: Apr 2006
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
no problemo, i'll donate even if i'm not rich.
docdave Posts: 1820 | From Boone and Southport, NC | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
Don't count too much on the uncle in poor health. It's amazing how long some people in poor health can live. This uncle might outlive all of you!
I have a grandmother who had a heart attack at 40 and is still alive at 103 and counting. Her sister who also had a bad heart died at 98 and would probably still be alive today if she hadn't tripped and broken her neck.
However, I put in another vote for the StymieLymie wing at the local Tickville Hospital!
Posts: 984 | From San Diego | Registered: Nov 2006
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CaliforniaLyme
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
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posted
YAY*)!*)!*)!
A HAPPY ENDING*)!*)!)!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(I hope*)!!!!
-------------------- There is no wealth but life. -John Ruskin
All truth goes through 3 stages: first it is ridiculed: then it is violently opposed: finally it is accepted as self evident. - Schopenhauer Posts: 5639 | From Aptos CA USA | Registered: Apr 2005
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stymielymie
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10044
posted
kabbalah, this is is a mystical version of the bible prior, i think to the actual bible.
it has many very good features and is very interesting reading. it basically says the good is within you and you must give the good to everybody you can.
now the mystism, the Kabbalah was based on astrology and still is, very strong in fact, and is actually where astrology started.
weirder is the fact that Kabbalah's ,not always jewish, ie Madonna, will wear red thread braclets.
Long ago, the ancient kabbalists revealed a powerful technology of protection. Its purpose is twofold: to protect us from the envious looks of others, and to help us eliminate feelings of jealousy and resentment in ourselves. The technology is the Red String: a strand of red wool worn around the left wrist. This technology is an indispensable tool for spiritual and physical protection.
The teachings of Kabbalah do not include prohibitions or commandments. Instead, the kabbalists speak of positive and negative energies. The negative energies of jealousy and envy emanate through the eyes--which gave rise to the very vivid and very ancient term, the Evil Eye.
The Evil Eye is part of the wisdom history of all humanity. It was spoken of by Socrates, Plato, and Aristotle. It was written of in the Bible. It has been accorded fear and respect by kings, queens, and conquerors throughout the ages. The ancient Greek seafarers painted eyes on the prows of their ships as protection against this power. The Romans called it oculus malus. To the Scots it was droch shuil. Kabbalists refer to it as ayin horeh.
According to the kabbalists, this form of negative energy can affect our lives and well-being. It can hold us back from achieving our destinies and it can also cause us to lose what we have already achieved.
Applying the Red String Technology Worn around the left wrist, the Red String works in the same way as the vaccines of modern medicine. When we receive a vaccination against a disease, a weakened strain of the illness is integrated into the vaccine. Spiritual immunizations are based on a similar principle. Kabbalah teaches that colors have specific frequencies and energies. Red, for example, is the color of danger. By binding a Red String to ourselves in a very specific manner, we shield ourselves against the dangerous negativity that might be directed our way--a spiritual vaccine against the destructive forces of the Evil Eye.
The color red is one part of the technology. The rest begins in Israel, where a length of Red String is wound around the tomb of Rachel, the matriarch of the Bible. Rachel is considered by kabbalists to be the mother of the world, and her greatest desire is to defend all of her children from evil. Throughout her life, Rachel acted as the protector of all humankind. According to Kabbalah, the burial sites of the righteous are a portal to the energy they created in their lifetimes. The Red String is brought to Rachel's tomb where it is infused with her force of protection--for no power is stronger than a mother's natural protective love. In a practical sense, this is a challenging task, because Rachel's tomb is located in one of the most politically volatile areas of Israel. But each and every Red String sold by the Kabbalah Centre must undergo this process in order to be considered an authentic form of protection against the Evil Eye.
The Red String is individually sized and worn around the left wrist. The left side of the body has been identified by kabbalists as the area where energy enters. The left arm and hand pertain to the concept of receiving; the right arm and hand embody the power of imparting. Negative forces, therefore, enter the body through the left side. By wearing the Red String on the left wrist, negative energies are intercepted at the precise point of entry. The string is tied in a carefully prescribed sequence of seven knots, each of which symbolizes a separate spiritual dimension that infuses our reality. It's important that someone who loves us--someone we deeply trust--ties the string around our wrist. As they do, we should ask for the power to radiate kindness, compassion, appreciation, and absence of the Evil Eye to everyone around us.
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