posted
I have young children and wonder if anyone goes to counseling to help them through this struggle.
long story short, my husband and i were diagnosed in 1999 with Lyme disease, I just lost my dad and my father in law is not well and is in hospice. we apparantly dont know how to communicate with each other in this family. I have set up an appt for counseling, i think we have needed this for years. Thanks in advance, Helen.
Posts: 145 | From Grant,MI,USA | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Yes, this is fairly common, and maybe more people should try it. Hope you found a good counselor and that it helps. My feeling is that lack of communication in families is the norm, and when people have a lot of troubles, as your family has had, this tends to result in everyone not pulling together and supporting each other enough.
Good luck to you.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
i'm sorry to read this, but you are headed in the right direction!
my deepest sympathies on the loss of your dad and father-in-law to come.
hospice has a wonderful grief counseling program they offer; ask them about this as they can help you deal w/your dad's LOSS NOW; and later on again on your father-in-law.
i took this 3 times: mom, for my sister, dad, and husband's ex-wife, who i became friendds with at the end of her cancer life going to every chemo appt. w/her, and made her funeral plans, etc.
wishing you the best.
also, maria shriver has a book out for kids on losing loved ones; our hospice house had it available there to read!
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posted
In my "former life" I was a psychotherapist. I did a lot of family counseling. A good counselor will study the dynamics of the way family members are communicating. Effective ommunication is a basic need in the quality of relationships.
Most people would be amazed at how ineffective or toxic their communications styles are. With families in which chronic illness is an issue, learning to actively listen and be supportive
is the goal to preserve a stable family. In a family where more than one member is chronically ill, the challenges to promote healthy communication are much greater.
I would urge anyone having difficulty with their family and the stressors of illness to consult a family counselor. The family itself becomes the "client" and a good counselor will help each
family member learn effective communication techniques in order to share and also to be heard. This is just as true of families with children of all ages.
In most areas of the country there are mental health centers which provide counseling on a sliding scale fee. Most insurance companies cover counseling at 50% and some therapists will take that as full payment.
When I was in private practice, I did not take insurance for a number of reasons. I did charge clients what their insurance copay would be. And I used a sliding scale fee for others.
I refused to be held hostage to insurance companies who always required a diagnosis of a client and wanted confidential notes of therapy sessions. Many people do not realize that when
they use their insurance for mental health issues, insurance companies have access to all confidential information. This information can follow a client/patient for many years and could
be used by future employers and other insurance companies. The new HIPPA laws protect some people but insurance companies require a therapist to provide updates on a patient's care.
Some clinicians, especially employees of mental health centers, find a way to be somewhat evasive in reporting diagnoses to protect a patient's confidentiality.
No matter what problems are associated with counseling, it is a vital part of supporting a family and its members who are dealing with great burdens associated with chronic illness.
I urge anyone feelng that their family is coming unraveled because of illness to seek out counseling. Many people are stunned at the benefit they derive from this support.
Your family's mental health is as important as its physical health, yet so many ignore this aspect of healing.
All my best, Janet
-------------------- DISCLAIMER: No information presented above should be considered medical advice or take the place of advice given by a medical professional. Links to other sites are provided merely for ease of research. Posts: 287 | From Tennessee | Registered: Sep 2006
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hopeful123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3244
posted
ditto janet!!!!
-------------------- some days you're the bug, some days you're the windshield Posts: 1160 | From NY | Registered: Oct 2002
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posted
Thank you for your replys, hopeful123, i love calvin and hobbes. I will keep everyone updated. Helen Posts: 145 | From Grant,MI,USA | Registered: Aug 2002
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posted
Helen65, The only thing I would add is that you talk in advance with the therapist to see if they have a good understanding of Lyme.
My experience as a social worker has been that most therapists have very little awareness around Lyme, the stressors, the neuropsychology of it and all of that.
I send you peace and light as you work towards helping your family.
Posts: 104 | From connecticut | Registered: Jan 2007
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