posted
Well, I usually can't concentrate at school because I am always thinking about Lyme. And everyone always says writing down yours feelings help so, I have been writing them down for 2 days and have 4 sheets of doodles. And pieces of my poem! I wrote some yesterday and this is as far as I have gotten today so here goes:
If Only People Knew...
Tick, tick, ticks not only pass time; But they also pass Lyme. The fatigue that never goes away; My body always wants to lay. The sleepless nights; My body just can't fight. Always in pain; Yet, never any gain.
No one to help; If only people knew how I felt. People say I am crazy; My mind is always hazy. Forgetting, confusing, tingling, and twitching; If only people knew what Lyme could do.
Depression, anxiety, rage, and worry; My body can never hurry. Joints that pop and crack; Stiff shoulders, neck, and back. High this, low that; Not even enough hair to fill a hat.
Seeing weird things or hearing a strange sound; Headaches that continue to pound. Head, stomach, muscle, and joint aches; It never stops as my heart breaks. Chills, sweats, and temperatures too; Who knew what Lyme could do.
I cry myself to sleep at night; My spirit is never bright. Faith, courage, and strength all get me through; If only people knew. Doctor appointments, medicine, and tests; Which do you like best?
Kaiser, Lab Corp, and Igenex; Where should I go next? As I watch people's lives move on; I began to feel that mine is gone. Sadly, others suffer too; And most people never knew. So, now you know what Lyme can do.
Well, that is it. I wrote a lot more today. That is 39 lines long right there. That's a lot. But, with all the things Lyme causes I could have 200 lines! Well, it is kind of corny, but much of it is true. It gets all of my feelings out and makes me feel better. So, I hope you can enjoy it.
Thanks, so much, and I want everyone to know that you guys inspire me so much. For what you are all going through now or what you have gone through. And I appreciate everyone who is trying to help me and follows my story. Thanks so much!
Hey, I should dedicate it to everyone on here and everyone who has ever suffered from Lyme or is suffering form Lyme! Well, anyways, THANKS! And HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!
-------------------- Jesus sweated blood over the task that lay before Him.He could have escaped his brutal execution at anytime,but he didn't he stayed there for you.
God bless,Christi Posts: 306 | From Alabama | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
I had never seen a poem on here for you guys. So, I wanted to do something special to put everything into something short that explained it all. I think that is what I am trying to say...HaHa. I wanted to write my feelings down in relation to all of us and we can all understand it.
I think it says a lot. For me, just thinking that so many people out there are going through everything I put in it. It means so much more when you think of it that way. For so many people out there it is a symbol sort of. Of everything they have to put up with everyday.
I hate that. I am working on getting a bunch of different lists of Lyme symptoms so that I can put most of them in it. Just so I don't leave someone out! But, I know there is so much more I can add. I think it will be long when I get done! Just a little bit! But, hey, it is worth it.
Thanks so much for reading it... and hope you can enjoy it. Thanks! HAVE A GREAT GREAT WEEKEND!!!
-------------------- Jesus sweated blood over the task that lay before Him.He could have escaped his brutal execution at anytime,but he didn't he stayed there for you.
God bless,Christi Posts: 306 | From Alabama | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
-------------------- Jesus sweated blood over the task that lay before Him.He could have escaped his brutal execution at anytime,but he didn't he stayed there for you.
God bless,Christi Posts: 306 | From Alabama | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Well, I am glad. Thanks. That was my goal to capture the reality of Lyme so others could understand more. But thanks. And I am glad you enjoyed it.
-------------------- Jesus sweated blood over the task that lay before Him.He could have escaped his brutal execution at anytime,but he didn't he stayed there for you.
God bless,Christi Posts: 306 | From Alabama | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
I especially like your opening two lines, with the tick, tick, ticks...
Psychologically, I too felt life was passing me by, as I had to drop out of just about every normal activity in life, and this was during the years I didn't know I had Lyme. I was told I had this mystery condition called fibromyalgia and no one knew what caused it. I guess the internet has converted that ignorance into increasing recognition.
So one of the strategies I devised for myself was to try to put back, in some modified and manageable version, whatever I felt I was missing in my life.
Example: I used to travel. So, I looked at travel books, travel TV, travel movies, people's travel pictures, etc, just to have something of that experience back.
I try to do this with every interest. It helps me alot emotionally, that I'm still participating in the world according to my interests, altho in a much smaller way than originally.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Christi,
I like it. Would like to read what you have added to the poem too.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thanks for the replies. I have dropped out of everything I used to do. My doctors just keep saying there is nothing wrong...we can't find nothing....you have arthralgia(joint pain without swelling). So, I quit basketball because my knees couldn't handle it. Volleyball for the same reason plus everything else started hurting. Working because I never feel up to going. And skating because by body couldn't handle it. And everything else I love to do.
But, anyways, not to complain, I like to look at pictures also. But, then they make me cry because I wish I could go out and do stuff like I used to and not have to worry about everything. Like normal people. Whatever that is.
I think I am going through a stage of denial. I know something is wrong with me and no ones else believes me but I am persistent at doing the things I love no matter what. I work through the pain everyday. And then people Wonder how something can possibly be wrong with me. Like people with something wrong are supposed to dwell on it and make everyone else realize it.
I am persistent to make people realize something is wrong with me, but then I REFUSE to stop doing all the things I LOVE so much. So, I am in a rut.
I haven't added more to it YET because I have felt extremely bad lately. And I haven't been in the MOOD. So, when I get a little better I will work on it.
Thanks!
-------------------- Jesus sweated blood over the task that lay before Him.He could have escaped his brutal execution at anytime,but he didn't he stayed there for you.
God bless,Christi Posts: 306 | From Alabama | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Of course you can do things you like to do and still have health problems.
Christi, other people's judgements about us can be very wrong re what we are really going through. The world has not been educated about Lyme disease and co-infections. And they are going to become more and more educated about it, as these diseases keep happening.
We are its educators, unfortunately. The more we know and understand about what we are dealing with, the better we can tell others our truths. I think it's very important that you have a chance to tell other people your truth, rather than have them tell you what it is. They don't know what it feels like to be inside your body.
If you can make it through all this, and eventually become a doctor, I'm thinking you're going to be a very good doctor, the kind that other people would want to see, because you will have learned firsthand what it's like to be a patient and you'll be able to empathize with your patients.
Posts: 13116 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thank you so much. You explained everything very well. Just what I was thinking. And I agree about the doctor thing. I want to be that better doctor who people want to come to and then they tell everyone about me and how good I am. I hope. I know what it is like to not get the help I need so I can relate better to patients. I don't want anyone leaving me not knowing the truth of what is wrong.
I will work day and night for as long as it takes, but I will spent all my time with each patient and talk with them and I WILL find the answer. If it a mistery then I will work even harder. I don't want anyone to be misdiagnosed or not diagnosed at all. Being a doctor is all about helping, not the pay check. If being a doctor didn't pay anything at all I would still do it. I never think of money when I think of becoming a doctor because I don't care about that part.
I always think of how many people I am going to help and how many lives I can change for the better, hopefully. I guess my moddo could be "Help NOT Harm!"
Which is the truth. But, anyways thanks a lot. You really seem to understand what I am thinking. Thanks.
-------------------- Jesus sweated blood over the task that lay before Him.He could have escaped his brutal execution at anytime,but he didn't he stayed there for you.
God bless,Christi Posts: 306 | From Alabama | Registered: Feb 2007
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic