MagicAcorn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8786
posted
Hi everyone,
Seems many people feel unloved and alone, myself included. Why is that? Most would say because no one seems to care or read the research given them.
I ask you to answer the following honestly, and to think very much pre-diagnosis.
Your Aunt Harriet's gout did you care enough to learn all about the history of gout? Probably not. Your Uncle Ernie's stomach cancer did it motivate you to stay up evenings after a long day of working and running the house to read well into the night? Probably not.
Did it mean you cared any less or that you didn't love them. Of course not. So I ask you all to give your love one's a break.
Our significant other or kids are to busy most times keeping our homes in check to do research. Sure we wished they'd care more UNTIL they do. Then they are a nudge and we wish they would leave us alone because no one knows more than us the victims living with the illness.
I read it everyday here. My spouse doesn't care because he doesn't read or come on here to learn. Why should he/she have to do that? I can say with some surety you probably already told them more than they want to know.
All they want is for us to get better. They are busy caring for us while we sit here trying to find support and understanding from people that can relate. They can't relate! They are not sick.
It doesn't mean they don't care or don't love us. It means they are busy making our lives as normal as possible so we can go about the business of getting well.
We are different and they have hung around. They deserve kudos not jabs. A lot of folks desert when the going gets tough. They hung around even with our lyme rage and mood swings. Why? Because they remember who we were and hope someday to see us again. They really do care more than they can probably express.
Sure we would like a Love Story experience but that isn't very realistic. Lyme isn't very romantic and neither is cancer. Yet we yearn for this. We all do.
We come on here all the time and express it in so many different ways. We worry about them not loving us anymore, and think maybe that if they learn about our disease it will help somehow. But how will it help?
Just like when my mother had cancer I didn't learn all about cancer. I was to busy making sure I went to school and helped Grandpa everyday to keep the house up. Then I needed to help my mother in other ways like being supportive, by cleaning, and by being quiet so she could rest. The fact I didn't spend all my free time learning about cancer didn't mean I loved her any less. I probably loved her even more because of all she went through.
If you think you are unloved please think again. Sometimes the lyme fog really does blur the picture. They probably love you no end.
Acorn
-------------------- Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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posted
Thank you for those very true words. I, for one, am guilty of being too hard on my husband. I did it today, in fact. This has not been easy for him to watch me (his wife), turn into such a different person and to probably feel so helpless about it....so thank you for the reminder. I actually printed out your posting and am leaving it on the kitchen table for my husband to read in the morning. I think it will make him feel somewhat more appreciated.
-------------------- Corinne Posts: 529 | From Raleigh, NC | Registered: Jun 2006
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Dear Magic,
Your words do ring true....
I guess I have such an inquisitive nature that I know I would at least google Lyme....
But you reminded me that others in my family are not like me.
Thanks for the gentle reminder.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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MagicAcorn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8786
posted
Cordor - I'm glad and I hope it does help him feel appreciated, and you loved.
cbb - you're welcome.
KS - You're right that is a whole other issue that deserves its own thread. I'm sure I have some thoughts on that also.
Geneal, that's great and I'm sure I would too, but I remember so many folks I cared about being sick and they could say the same thing about me. We read and learn because we are sick. Being sick is what motivates our curiosity. It is different for our families as they have the responsibility of holding it together.
Just because someone knows what an Igg or Igm is or what bands are borrelia doesn't give them empathy towards us. Empathy a lot of times only comes from experience.
We are all heroes and so our loved ones.
-------------------- Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348
posted
I understand what you're saying, Acorn, and you're right, of course. I just wish I fit in that category.
I have no one around trying to help make my life normaler. I'm running out of fight on my own.
(Sorry, I shouldn't be answering this at this hour.)
Thank you for the love you and some others show me. I'm not sure I have much else to keep me going.
-------------------- more light, more love more truth and more innovation Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
acorn, you have been blessed not only with your wide array of squirrel photos in various outfits, etc.to keep us laughing during our hard times, but the gift of putting into words what came directly from your heart.
well done my friend acorn! i'll print this off too & add to my newbie's links/advise since i'm still without my address line and can't copy links for past month or 2!
i've been detailed instructions but haven't made it thru everything yet. my lyme mind doesn't want to try to learn this!
acorn, please copy your link here and post on TREEPATROL'S NEWBIE LINKS asking him to add it to area where lymedad's letter to family/friends are plus dar's recent TOY story! all excellent examples to help us understand.
acorn, thanks for taking the time/effort to write this for us all! A+; you rock acorn, my friend!
trueblue, everyone here on the board does NOT like me, but it doesn't matter to me! it's THEIR LOSS!
i'm me and i stand strong on things i believe in.
i prefer we NOT fight on the board; we're fighting lyme, mds, IDSA ... why fight each other when we are the only ones who know what it's like walking in each other's shoes?
stay away from those who bring you grief; enjoy the rest of us who give you support my friend ok!
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MagicAcorn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8786
posted
Betty - thank you so much for your very kind words and your suggestions. Yes, those were words written from my heart. You are so right about the standing strong for what you believe in also.
You have been through very much yourself lately. I am so proud of the way you came back and just picked up where you left off after your hip surgery. Always answering posts into the wee hours and sending newbie links. Well done!
Trueblue - Where would I be without you and Charlie, Carol and Joy? Your sharing with me well into the early A.M. on Saturday night chat keeps me going until the next week. You guys have become my normal. We listen to each other, and we know we really care for each other too.
If I can help you in anyway you let me know. Sometimes it feels like you guys are all I've got going to keep me strong also.
We have a new mission Morocco and I hope you are up for it. Details to follow. Agent 000 over and out.
Psssssst....... Can you feel the love?
Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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trueblue
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7348
posted
Me too, Acorn, And yes I can; I just wish it was closer. A lot of times everything and everybody seem so far off to me.
I am ready for our new assignment. Let me just pin on my crusader against evil badge...
-------------------- more light, more love more truth and more innovation Posts: 3783 | From somewhere other than here | Registered: May 2005
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kelmo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8797
posted
Last night, my daughter was listening to this song on YouTube. It's by Allison Krause. Make My Life a Living Prayer. I wanted to share it with all of you.
I saw the Blue Ridge Parkway once a few years ago. For a desert dweller, it was the closest to heaven I've seen.
You have blessed me, so much. I'm not in pain, but sometimes I feel my daughter and I are in this battle alone, while friends go off on trips and have fun.
kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
My mind went a couple of days ago and I put my service dog in harms way. Luckily everything turned out OK.
But, once again I wondered if a place...housing...for those with lyme would be a good thing.
A place where we can be on our own but still have help from others if and when needed.
Or be a help to others when we are able.
A lyme literate place.
I recall my lyme doc telling me about a place that just opened up for lyme patients. A place where they check in and stay awhile.
Looking back... I wonder if it was the Jensen (sp?) Clinic.
We need a place for lyme patients once they get out of the clinic and are in the in between stage.
I just wonder if it would work.
We could all wear lyme green visors. HA!
That way when they see us power chairing down the street or driving on the sidewalks they would know...it is just a lymie.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
Acorn: Thanks. You forget there is water when you are in the middle of a desert. Same way with lyme, Easy to forget what support you do have. Thanks for sharing.
Posts: 719 | From Delaware | Registered: Jan 2006
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MagicAcorn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8786
posted
Hey True - glad to see you still have that hard earned crusader against evil badge.
kam a place to rest would be great. A whole bunch of lymies living together? Sounds like a new reality show. I like the lyme green visor idea. We could have a little tick silk screened onto the brim for educational purposes.
Ice skater thanks for the oasis scenario.
kelmo that song was beautiful. Wow! Georgia is very beautiful. Reminds me of upstate New York so I enjoyed it very much. The words were very moving to me especially "a haven from my unbelief". Thank you for sharing this.
-------------------- Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
acorn, thanks so much for the compliments and encouraging words! yes, i resumed where i left off here!
told someone today, i've sent welcome newbie links to 2-3,000 folks since i began last fall!!!
acorn, enjoyed your spies too.
acorn, how are YOU doing since your surgery?? update us please; thank you.
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