posted
I have had a really bad week both physically and emotionally. One of my main problems has been not being able to accept the level of involvement my family has in helping me so I would like to know what you think. I have a 17 year old daughter that makes social plans almost everyday to get away from the house so she is not exposed to doctor visits, nurses visits ,mnedication, etc. When she is home she is impossible to get along with and makes me feel worse. I realize she is a teenager but never asks me if I need help or would like something to eat or drink. If she sees I am in bad shape she says she is really sorry and then leaves the room. My husband works 12 hour days and occasionally calls when he has time. When he comes home he cringes when he asks me how I feel and after dinner looks for something to do like listen to the ball game or go online. Don't get me wrong-I am not suggesting that either one sit and hold my hand but don't you think that more help is needed here. I fought all week with my husband about this telling him I can't do this alone anymore-I want someone to take this over because I need help. Why doesn't he go online for me or help me find answers. If I complain enough he will but by that time it doesn't mean much anymore. It just seems unfair that everyone else goes on with their lives while I feel like I am drowning in despair over not knowing what to do next. We tried couinseling but that backfired-the therapist told me that she didn't see what my husband could do. Anyone else go through this?
Posts: 425 | From NY, United States | Registered: Mar 2005
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
support? what's that? i get none, zilch, zippo, nada.
but i am fortunate that i do not have children. i love 1200 miles from my family and i do call often. course nobody even asks how i'm doing and if i would start to tell them, they just interrupt and go on talking.
i've learned to do everything myself and not rely on anyone.
what i wouldn't give for somebody to help out, but it ain't gonna happen.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
I'm sorry you're getting no support.
My 17 year old is entirely into himself, too. That's normal. My younger kids and older daughter are a huge help though.
My hubby does no research on Lyme at all. He is entirely supportive though. I think it's nice that your hubby calls you during the day?
I'm sure his cringing when he asks if you want something is because he's tired from 12 hours of work. Be happy he's asking.
It helps me and my hubby if I take interest in HIS life ... that way he's happy to take interest in mine.
You are not wrong in feeling down and alone, Lyme does that to you. You can't change anyone's behavior but your own though ... often, when you change your own, theirs will change as a result.
It's hard to be fun to be around when you feel as we do, but we need to remember that they are affected by this as well and need our emotional support.
Any member of my family could feel as upset as I do about me being sick ... it affects us all. It's no more my fault than it is theirs, we all have to be there to support each other.
My hubby likes it best when I say I want him to hold me. It helps him feel like he's doing somethat makes me feel better ... and it makes me feel loved.
Extended family is clueless.
I'm just hoping that this post helps you understand that our illness is hard on them, too.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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3greatkids
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3838
posted
I am sorry you are dealing w/ this situation.
When I was really sick,at my worst,my kids freaked.
It is a scary thing and very frightening to see a parent sick....and then w/ Lyme.
Just make sure the lines of communication are open w/ your daughter.If she needs to talk w/ someone,make sure she can unload.You,Dad,school,church,open ears for these kids can really make a difference.
Hang in there Mom.I hope things get better.Being a Mom and having Lyme STINKS!
It is hard but the chores must be a family affair.Maybe divide some up and make them help.Start w/ some easy ones and then lay the LOVE on em.Maybe if you kill them w/ kindness,they will get the message.
Good luck.Tell them you love them everyday.
Posts: 1076 | Registered: Apr 2003
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
I have to start with I distinctly remember being 17.
My Mom was definitely not cool!
I have no idea how I would have felt or dealt with her if she was ill like me....
I mean, I look pretty good for feeling like death.
It wasn't until I went to college. Two days of being away from home and I realized
How smart my Mom really was. How bad I wanted to go back there.
I called her. Told her I was coming home. She laughed.
That really started our friendship. I adore my Mom.
My husband has Lyme, but didn't get diagnosed until four months after me.
He told me that if I kept reading about Lyme that I would convince myself I had it.
Once he was diagnosed, he never looked it up. Just relied on me to give him answers.
In fact he relied on me to tell him what meds/supplements to take and when...
Then my children were diagnosed. I told him he was on his own then.
The rest of my family has never looked at Lyme.
One family member, a RN, still calls it Lymes even though I have told her repeatedly there is no "s".
I think they don't ask me how I feel because they don't know what to say.
Or.....it makes them uncomfortable to hear I am not doing well.
Who knows?
I am blessed as I have a neighbor that I am close friends with that has Lyme too.
Most importantly I have my friends here at Lymenet.
I would have never made it this far without this place or the incredible people on this forum.
I have stopped looking elsewhere for support.
It would be nice, but I get the most incredible support, information, prayers, "hugs" and
Laughs from my Very Special Friends here.
Come here. We are always here for you.
Know what you are going through.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Thank you for your responses. I know I am not alone but I think the road would be easier with help especially when you don't have to ask for it. When you get married it is "in sickness and in health" and this illness really puts those vows to the test. Having someone there who is oblivious to your suffering is at times worse than being alone because when you are by yourself you don't have any expectations of anyone. It does help to come here for support because everyone here understands what living with this disease is like. Thanks again!
Posts: 425 | From NY, United States | Registered: Mar 2005
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MagicAcorn
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 8786
posted
amkdiaries said:
We tried couinseling but that backfired-the therapist told me that she didn't see what my husband could do.
I have to agree with the therapist on this one even though I have Lyme, and so does my son. It didn't backfire - what you are asking for is not realistic.
Your hubba is working hard (12 hours a day) to keep the family together. He cringes because nothing ever changes and he sees himself as trapped. For better or worse means staying with and not leaving your mate high and dry when the going gets tough. It doesn't mean he has to dive in and become as obsessed as you with your treatment.
Why should he go online for you? Would that make you feel loved or that he cares? He is proving he cares by working twelve hours a day and coming home. So what if he watches a ball game. That is what most married couples do. They eat and then everyone goes about their evening routine. He has to get up the next day and go to work to keep a roof over your head, buy food, and supply you with medical coverage.
Seventeen year olds are social butterflies and she is doing what any normal teen does. It is not to get away from you. As for being impossible to get along with I'll respond with isn't that normal mother daughter relations at this time.
Your family is surviving a crisis. You are taking your wants (and that is what they are) and deciding that because your wants aren't being met that you are not getting the LOVE you deserve. That is what is jumping out at me from your words.
Just think how hard it must be for your hubba to work everyday knowing the woman he loves may not be getting better anytime soon. She may need care and more money for treatment than the family can afford. How he worries about what happens if he has an accident or his health fails. He has worries too.
Your daughter might be angry with you because she is scared. What happens to her if something happens to you? Will there be money for her to go to College? Will mom make it to my graduation?
They have issues too. Not just you. The whole family is sick and we Lymies sometimes forget this.
I hope you don't see me as the enemy here. Just trying to give an honest answer and it is probably not what you want to hear. However, sometimes we need to remember we are not the only ones living with this, and Lymie thinking is not always the most reasonable.
You may think you are going through this alone but you are not. Be thankful your hubba isn't really that into it treatment wise. You are the one who needs the treatment - not him. With two different camps out there what would happen if he went with the wrong camp? Then you'd have another whole different can of beans to complain about.
Your hubba and daughter love you very much and are probably more upset about you being sick than you are able to realize. There job though is to keep the family dynamics running while you get well. The getting well part is your responsibility.
Good luck, and please come here for friendship and support. The more you rely on us for that the better your home life might become. That has been my own personal experience.
Hugs, Acorn
-------------------- Posts: 1279 | From In hiding | Registered: Feb 2006
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quote:Originally posted by Geneal: I have to start with I distinctly remember being 17.
My Mom was definitely not cool!
I have no idea how I would have felt or dealt with her if she was ill like me....
My mom WAS sick with Lyme when I was young. We just didn't know it. I remember feeling very depressed when she would be in bed all evening.
I think she usually managed to cook us a meal, then went to bed. It was a lonely feeling.
She had many bouts of "mono" and kidney infections.
Is my family involved with my illness? NO. But I do feel their support ... at least I haven't been ignored or rejected. My husband knows 'somewhat' of the seriousness of this illness.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
I do lots of research to try and help my husband but that's a strength for me. I like to research and I'm determined that I'm going to find something that will fix my husband.
Other people don't like research and don't know how to deal with sick people. Maybe it helps that I had a really bad case of mono when I was in college.
As far as our teenage daughter, it would be nice if she were a little more involved and helped out a little more but I think she finds it too painful to see how sick her father is. At a particularly bad point, when her dad was on oxygen she started to lose it: grades, friends, weight, etc. I'm just happy that she's keeping busy with her dance and getting good grades now.
Some people have more empathy than others. Some people actually feel too much and distance themselves.
My father was recently diagnosed with lung cancer. If my husband weren't so sick, I would be more involved in his care but there is only so much of me to go around without me exploding or imploding. So, sometimes with this disease it's about survival. What we have to do to make it from day to day. Whether we're sick with Lyme or the family member of someone sick with Lyme.
I don't know if any of this helps. Try to be happy with the positives and try not to focus on the negatives.
Posts: 984 | From San Diego | Registered: Nov 2006
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This "letter to normals" is circulated in fibromyalgia circles but the symptoms are often identical because chronic lyme can turn into fibromyalgia. Just substitute "lyme" in place of "fibromyalgia" http://www.fmscommunity.org/lettertonormals.htm
LYMEDAD'S LETTER TO FAMILIES OF LYME PATIENTS...OUTSTANDING! PRINT & GIVE TO FAMILY MEMBERS!!
Author Topic: Open Letter to Families of Lyme lymedad Frequent Contributor Member # 8074
posted 20-04-2007 03:52 PM
Dear Family of a Lyme Disease patient,
I am writing this letter to all parents and family members who are witnessing their children, wife, son, father, aunt, uncle, cousin, etc. struggle with Lyme Disease.
I am one of you.
For more than 6 years my daughter has suffered through this ugly, dark disease.
She has experienced horrible migraines, severe joint & muscle pain, nausea, vomiting, extreme fatigue and loss of her ability to speak or think logically (these are just a few of her symptoms).
She has become unable to work. She has been forced to move back into our home at the age of 23 (she is now 29). She has virtually lost her 20's, one of the most productive and exciting time of her life.
We have taken her to every known medical specialist in southern California as well as three different General Practioners.
She has been diagnosed, at differing times, as having Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, Chronic Pain Syndrome, Fibromyalgia, Lupus, Psychosis, and MS (please notice that all of these are either syndromes or descriptions of symptoms; none of them are diseases).
For the first 4 years of her struggle, I was not a good parent, even though I thought I was.
My daughter didn't have any outward sign of her illness. She looked "normal". After many, many blood tests, MRIs, CAT Scans, x-rays, psychological tests; everything came back "normal".
I was, and sill am, one of the world's biggest cynics and skeptics (I'm originally from Missouri - so "Show-Me").
Surely if you are as sick as you say you are, there must be something that will show up in your blood tests or on x-rays.
You can't possibly be this ill and not have something tangible to show for your symptoms.
You're either just faking it or your lazy or it's psychosomatic or your trying avoid the real world.
Get off your lazy butt and get some exercise or get a real job or face up to life like the rest of us.
That's the way I approached her illness. It's time you took control of your illness and will yourself well.
I was so far off-base. It took an outstanding Lyme Literate Medical Doctor to show me the error in my approach with my daughter and to show me the reality of this disease.
My daughter and I have both suffered because of my ignorance (I'm not saying all of you are ignorant, I'm saying I was ignorant. To be ignorant simply means to be uninformed not stupid). I am still working to rebuild the closeness we had before Lyme.
Lyme Disease is real, the pain is real, the problem with logical thought is real, the lack of energy is real, etc., etc., etc.
If your child or family member has been diagnosed with Lyme Disease, they are just as sick, if not more, than someone who has a more "traditional" illness, like Lupus or Multiple Sclerosis or Cancer.
I've done all the study, I've been with my daughter at all of the appointments, I've watched the misery she's been through.
Hey they just can't help the way this disease treats them. It's not their fault.
We as family members need to be there to support them. They don't need our pity. They don't need our skepticism. They don't need our criticism.
They need our understanding.
If you as family members will take the time to study this disease, you'll see that it is real. The little buggers who have invaided their bodies are real and they are making our loved ones sick.
Please spend the time you currently spend trying to figure out why your loved one acts the way they do really studying the disease. There are volumes being written on the internet as well as new books being published everyday on this disease.
We can't possibly understand the way they feel, not unless we have the same bacteria in our bodies.
My daughter has a long way to go before she's back to where she was 6 years ago. She has a lot of work and pain to endure before she can get there.
She certainly doesn't need someone who claims to love her causing her any more pain than she has already.
Families. from one who has been in your shoes, please let them know you love them.
Let them know you're there to help them.
Let them know that there's no way you can possibly understand their pain, but that you wil try to understand their illness.
I think one of the most important things I've come to learn is that my daughter's disease may be God's way to teach me a lesson.
I'm not saying God gave my daughter Lyme Disease, but He may be using this disease to teach me how to love, how to be patient and how to be more understanding.
I wish you all good health and I hope that none of you will ever have to experience what our Lyme Disease loved ones are experiencing.
Sincerely,
LymeDad
DAR'S TOY STORY; outstanding for family, friends, etc! This was written by a friend of mine. He asked me to post it here. We hope you like it!!! Lymetoo/TUTU posted 5-11-07 *********************************************
The last essay I did was how I feel having Lyme disease and all the other things I have wrong going on inside me. Last night I was awake at 3 a.m. and once my mind gets going, I'm all done sleeping.
So now you know how I feel, but you don't know how we feel looking back at all of you who are healthy. All of us who have immune-compromising diseases such as Lyme, Crohns, CFS, ALS, Alzheimer's, MS, non Hodgkins lymphoma, muscular dystrophy, bipolar disease or any other chronic illness.
People with chronic illness face two hurdles. One is the illness itself, and the other is the perception others have of them because they are ill. The illness becomes their identity, essentially making them faceless.
People have no clue what it's like to be us! Well, now you will. See, all of us with something broken have been taken out of the real world, or the working world and we just can't explain what it's like.
Well, imagine for a moment that all of us are toys lying on the living room floor. The toy box is next to the kids' bedroom doorway. Mom and Dad say, ``OK, kids, pick up all your toys and get them into the toy box and back into the closet. It's time for bed!''
OK......and in go all the new toys from Christmas and birthdays past. (That would be all of YOU!) Along with the newer toys goes a truck with the front tires missing, a car with the doors off, a matchbox car that has no hood, a 56 T-Bird without the top on it, and the trunk is missing.
Then there's that ole tractor that once had a bucket on the front and a back-hoe on the back, but somehow they're gone and and broken off.
Susie loved that doll, but over time her head got broken off and one arm was missing. GI Joe has seen better days, because his left arm and his right leg have come up missing.
Johnny's plastic train with 9 cars was the best thing last Christmas, but 3 cars are missing and the caboose has no wheels. Now when the toys come back out another day and get dumped on the floor, there's all the good ones that are played with right away. All the ones that have parts missing (That's all of US!).... Well, nobody plays with them because they're defective. They can't roll because the wheels are missing and parts are long since gone.
But they are still toys that the kids got and don't have the heart to throw away. So even though we get to come out and sit on the floor, nobody plays with us because we're not ``whole'' anymore.
But we still get to be with all of you and get to watch and see what's going on! And then there's lots of times we never get out of the toy box. There's days on end that we just sit on the bottom of the toy box, because we can't do the things that we once could, and nobody needs us anymore.
Then it's back in the closet and the door is shut, and it's dark once more in our lives. Not that we're not alive, we just can't fit in anymore and have to wait till everyone comes back from the real world and lets us out from the dark closet and we just sit on the floor and get to see what y'all are doing all over again.
We know we have parts missing and can't roll with the good toys. We know we'll never fit in with all the toys that have all their parts and are newer and shinier and we expect that.
Thank you for not throwing us away though, even though we can't compete with the new toys. Some of us do better than others. Those with only one wheel missing get around better than the ones with all the tires missing.
And we have gotten used to the dark closet when all of you get to go out in the world and do whatever y'all do. We just know that we can't do that anymore.
We used to be able to run with you too, but somehow got some parts missing and we're `Stay at Home Dars All Day Long', like my new Lyme song goes. We've even got used to watching all of the good toys go roaring up and down the carpet, and some of you even get to go outside and play in the sandbox too. But we have to just stay where we are because that's just what has happened to some of us, and tonight it's back in the toy box and into the dark closet.
There may be a cure for some of us, but it's hard to get the big companies to send those few little parts, like hoods, trunks, wheels, heads, arms, legs, and missing eyes. They are just too busy to take time for such little things like that.
We accept that too. And if you look at us just right, you can't even see there are parts missing and you think we should be able to come out and play.
It looks like we should be able to keep up with all the good toys, but it's so hard being stuck in this old broken frame, knowing we once were part of the big picture and had something to offer, and could go places.
But no, we're dependent on everyone else to help us out of the toy box and back in again in the dark closet. You can't imagine how lonely it gets in there, day after day, all alone, knowing that all the healthy toys get to go out and play.
What makes us feel good though is to hear stories of how we would rip up and down the hallway and across the family room and into the kitchen. Or how much sand we could dig on a good day in the sand box.
Those are called ``memories'' and all of us broken toys have lots of them, because that's all we have left! We really appreciate all the things all of the good toys do for us and hope they all understand it's not our fault. We just got stuck with weak or broken parts!
Hopefully my broken-toy story will help all of you understand what it's like being us. Up until last night, I didn't know how to put it either. But somehow I think I got it right now. It's just the way I feel, stuck at home trying to do the best I can with what little parts I have left.
I once had ``big dreams'' of being a real country music star, with my songs on the radio, and the videos on TV. You can plan your career, plot the success ladder all you want, but you can't count on your health to be there for you.
Not everyone gets to stay healthy. There are a lot bigger guys than me that were taken to their knees by a health problem and taken out of the game. I'm just glad I can do what little I still can. Like the ole saying goes, we don't have to look too far away to find someone that would gladly trade places with us.
Be glad what you do have! There's a lot of people worse off!
posted
Outside of my parents, my family has no involvement with my health. In fact, they know little or nothing about my condition, have never made much of an effort to find out, and in some cases work against me by continuing to deny the illness and depth of disability. One sib ran around telling people I had munchausen's prior to diagnosis which was not helpful. She continues to act obstructively and dangerously. While she was running around trash talking me, I actually had three separate significant medical syndromes - neuroborreliosis, hypopituitarism, and a severe mixed apnea. Now she has the gall to lecture me on the expense of specialized treatment, and has done much much worse than that.
It's a nightmare. I've given up on them. The problem is the steere/wormser garbage gives them ammunition, and they don't bother to question it, having not had the experience themselves. I've often felt my life would be better if some of the people around me had lyme disease. Then they'd shut the f- up.
Posts: 523 | From Stillwater,OK,USA | Registered: Sep 2004
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I feel terribly for what this disease has done to my loved ones.
Last year when I was the most ill my children were affected socially, mentaly and some of our relationships went down hill.
Before treatment I was very demanding, irritable, depressed, short tempered, and too tired to listen to anyone elses problems, including my family.
After treatment started and I began to feel better my mind cleared some and I began to see how MY behavior and attitude over the past 2.5 years had affected everyone.
My children didnt see Lyme disease when I wasnt in my "right mind", they saw Dad.
I dont know how they all put up with me (still)
Even my oldest daughter didnt see that it was the disease in me causing my change in attitude, she became bitter.
My wife was exhausted by many things, mostly worrying about me and the kiddos.
My mother has been right there the whole time, a great mom! She doent always tell me what I what to hear, but thats part of wat makes her so great.
My other family and friends all respond differently. I have noticed that in general people are very uncomfortable beeing around someone sick.
When people are around (not often) I have to be very careful. I tend to dwell on talking about ME and my favorite subject- Lyme disease.
Part of the affect this has on my mind seems to be that I have, through being sick for so long, become quite self centered.
Part of me says- why not, Im sick, I should be the center. But I have seen this wear others out and they just dont want to hear about it anymore.
I can understand this, but that doest always help the way it makes me feel. Its really tough to focus on others needs with so many symtoms 24/7.
I get very agitated when my wife sighs or indirectly complains when shes tired and I need "whatever". Shes going through this too.
This is very much a family disease, it affects everyone in one way or another.
Ive been going down hill again lately and I can already see the stress in my wife, shes just worn out.
I think Im developing alot more compassion for the sick, perhaps I can help others someday. Right now this is what I have decided to do, sharing my experiences here.
I havent run into anyone here yet who is tired of talking about Lyme!
Hang in there!
BJK
-------------------- BJK
Nothing I write here is medical advice...I'm just another lymie sharing how this disease has affected me personally Posts: 175 | From Central Maine | Registered: Sep 2007
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Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
Amkdiaries,
You have every right to feel like this, your needs are not being met, and why not sit down with your husband and daughter and tell them how you feel.
IF they are not responsive to you, then you need to think of how you are going to survive this, and harden up, and ASK for things, and when your daughter rolls her
eyes, you have to let this go, I know it may be tough, but if you sit down with your family and they are not helpful, then you have to change and support yourself emotionally while living there.
you have to care about you, and try to get some counselling to deal with this.
AND that counsellor, was a BAD councellor because you are walking away unhappy and she is telling nothing can be done,
you dang rights something can be done, something is upsetting you and it needs to be addressed,
wrong counsellor, seek out another, and be strong,
we learn that the family we have in an illness may not be what we had thought they were, that is why an illness can bring a family closer
or it can break it up, either way, they both are good for the long run,
right now, you have to deal with your hurt, I feel you have a right to be hurt,
hope this helps,
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
I appreciate your responses even though I don't agree with all of them. I appreciate all that my family does and feel I have no great expectations. I think I am doing all I can right now to try and get well but come on we need some degree of help. Even though my husband puts in a long day he still has some time at night to choose whether or not he should listen to the ball game or maybe if I am having a really bad day sit down and discuss with me what I should do next. Should that be all he does-no but he could take amore agressive role because I am at a point of not knowing what to do anymore. I have seen posts here where husbands work two jobs, come home and make dinner. I have not seen this happen in my home. As far as why my husband should go on line for me-why shouldn't he? Maybe he might find something I didn't. I see numerous husbands on Lymenet who aren't even sick but are trying to be part of their wive's conditions. One man even used a Rife machine before letting his wife use it to see if it was safe. If you have a sick child you do everything in your power to help them even if it means sacrificing your free time. A spouse is no different. I feel a certain amount of time needs to be spent involved in someone else's care especially when it comes to this disease. Even if it doesn't help in the long run it will still make you feel better seeing your family take an interest. Thanks again!
Posts: 425 | From NY, United States | Registered: Mar 2005
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posted
I didn't know for 25 years, so how could my family know? And now that I do know,I don't think my family can comprehend what's going on. This experience is just not the usual life experience.
There is some financial assistance going on, and for that I am grateful.
I don't think family members are taking it seriously enough. Sometimes I fear people aren't going to pay attention until it happens to them -- ie, have to learn the hard way. It makes me so sad.
And I've lost one sister, who can't believe that I was and am actually disabled like this. It's really not a good idea to judge another, as only that person knows what they are feeling.
It's very confusing to people when we still look ok to them, even as we don't function well on the inside.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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Health
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6034
posted
I will tell you this.
If you are sick, and tell someone that you have known for quite a while that you are sick and something is wrong, and if they dont believe you,
or question you, those people have never really listened to YOU all your life.
It is the ones that are listening to you, when you tell them that you are sick, and something is wrong, that are the ones that have been with you and listening to you,
really listening to you and hearing you all your life.
SO, people dont make excuses, do the laundry and let go of the ones that dont listen, and if you cannot let go of them, you need to find out how to deal with them to get their help.
I am bone tired of listening to people make excuses about others, if someone you have known most of your life is not believing you when you are telling them you are sick, despite looking ok,
Do you really want these people in your life?
I would think not. Stand up for yourself and tell these people what you really think of them, tell them, and then move on.
Trish
Posts: 1250 | From Canada | Registered: Aug 2004
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posted
We have found out who our real friends are in this ordeal. Some have turned out to be fair weather friends and some we know will be with us through thick and thin.
Back to the research, my husband most of the time won't do any research even though he's the one that's sick. And then when he does, I wish he wouldn't, because he always manages to find depressing, discouraging articles (i.e. 5 year prognosis for pulmonary fibrosis). So, careful what you ask for!
Posts: 984 | From San Diego | Registered: Nov 2006
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posted
Hi, I hear you. Yep, we are short term society. Rally those ill for short time. Also live in easy throw away society. Seems to go for the Elderly,chronically ill etc. I Live in FL. when able worked with many old very alone folk after they gave themselves to family & build America. For all those billionaires that forget their own fam. Arghhh
When my mom got cancer & I was teen. Back then called Big C. Dad sat us all down said, mom needs us all now. NO EXCUSES/ SIS & I teenagers stuck with 2 very young siblings. We did it, I remember feeling guilty just because I wanted 1 night at our homecoming championship... That's called caring & way should be...Took care grandparents as teenager also.
I think we give kids too many allowed excuses.
Yes, mom & daughter very fragile relationship till they grow up. Many still do not have.
When a loved 1 especially mother needs you dad or someone needs to sit them down & tell them way it will be as family caring & loving, good & bad times. They have NO problem asking for tooo much & we have raised some very selfish kids.
I am sorry/ I think for majority except for lucky few get support should have. Many countries their is Never disrespect to Mothers.
My daughter in her 30`s has just come around but we are miles away. She struggles with this but is finally after much work between us has rally-ed as a semi supporter.
Rest fam. NADDA. Husband ran off with co-worker soon as became ill then pushed my Lyme/ did not know what was yet, 8 yrs. stalking pushed DD over the top..
I spent 15 yrs. taking care 2 ill kids between 2. Husband also.
When I became ill turned around NO 1. My entire life with P.A. background have taken care someone even when I was really ill. Also called take my turn. Later chewed out because had to take break when became quite ill.HMMMMMMM???
If you need to chat let me know... I am sorry No 1 gets being sick is just 1 part of the illness... Huggggss, To All in Need
Posts: 746 | From Clearwater/fl/Pinellas | Registered: Jun 2003
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