Topic: The Top Ten Signs you have become a Chronic Lymetard
Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
The Top Ten Signs You have become a Chronic Lymetard:
1. You wake up one day and realize that all of your friends and family have run for the hills; and left no forwarding address.
2. Your mail has taken over the entire kitchen table, dining room table, and the boxes of mail and other paperwork type things to be dealt with (such as taxes, insurance policies, etc) have rendered several doorways and entrances bona fide fire hazards.
3. Your kids think grilled cheese sandwiches and tomato soup are a special homecooked meal.
4. Your telephone sounds like one long, continuous ring consisting of bill collecters. Most members of the household appear to have developed tone deafness to it, and no one in the house ever makes a move to answer it anymore.
5. You thank God long hair for boys seems to be in style, since you haven't been able to pull it together enough to get your son a haircut in nearly a year.
6. Your memory seems to be on vacation. You can't find your car keys, wallet, pocketbook, children, ATM card or checkbook. By the time you have been looking for a while, you either completely forgot what you were looking for or are too exhausted to care.
7. You are one with your bed.
8. Watching Jay Leno is the start of your evening, and if you are lucky you wake up in time for Oprah.
9. You need to rent a storage unit for your bottles of pills and supplements.
10. Your social life consists of partying down each night on Lyme Chat.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
Missing items from the fridge usually appear in a cabinet
There are about 5-8 half finished books lying around at all times
-------------------- "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - e.m. forster Posts: 921 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2004
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
...
well, i'm going to try writing 1 of my short poems on this one; have no idea where i'm going with this one!
They say I'm a CHRONIC LYME TARD! and by watching my actions; that's not hard; especially when I'm working outside in my yard! I get so bored and have to be on guard so my fanny doesn't become like squishy LARD!
an original by Betty G
see, I warned you all; I didn't know what and where I was going with this one but used every word I could think of to rhyme with it!
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I've been so busy trying to put a name with what I feel like. I haven't been able to because my brain took off on vacation without me.
Posts: 18 | From Mount Airy Maryland | Registered: May 2008
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lymeladyinNY
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10235
posted
Still don't like the use of "tard". Call me a party pooper.
-------------------- I want to be free Posts: 1170 | From Endicott, NY | Registered: Sep 2006
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posted
I went to try and shave my legs for the first time in a month and borrowed his shaving cream....
My husband keeps a large can of shaving cream on the bathroom counter..
Well.... I only needed to use a little bit so I got out the small can under the sink and used htat one...
NOW, It wasnt until my husband asked me later that day "why did you open my travel size shaving cream?"
I thought for a moment and was totally embarassed as I explained "I only needed a little bit of shaving cream, so I got the small can".....
He laughed and looked at me like I was crazy. Before he could say anything else I said "ya ya I know NOW how silly it was, but it made total sense at the time".
So now he is making fun, he set out the travel size tooth paste and lotions ect. He has fun with my lyme brain.
Proud
-------------------- PROUD : )
Dx: Lyme & Bart April 2008. currently on plaquanil, Roxid and Sulfameth. Posts: 89 | From Manalapan, NJ | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
I went out doing errands a couple years ago...I got some Mums and went to put them on the front porch. Then I went inside.
Several hours later our neighbor knocked on the door - I had apparently left the driver's side car door wide open with my purse on the passenger's seat!
The neightbor thought I had been abducted!
-------------------- "We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us" - e.m. forster Posts: 921 | From PA | Registered: Jan 2004
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posted
I have worn 2 different earrings - very different earrings
I have written checks for not the bill amount but for the balance in my checkbook, luckily caught it before it was mailed.
Have gotten lost in town, and have lived here for 18 years.
Could not recognize one of my closest friends, her remark was "wow, but I am the only Chinese resident in this town!" Thank God for her sense of humor.
Have flooded our basement. Was washing something by hand in the small sink and the water was running to fill the sink up. I couldn't hear b/c of ringing in my ears and my vision was all "wiggly". I forgot the water was running and it ran for 5 hours. My husband walked in and asked why the sump pump was coming on. I couldn't hear that either. What a mess.
Forgot I was cooking ribs on the grill. Grill caught on fire, I burned my arm trying to put it out. Firemen came, they said what a shame about the ribs.
Have gone to the wrong school to pick up my daughter.
I call people by the wrong names all the time.
To look at me, so far, you would never think all this was going on. I guess I just look really loony!
-------------------- This is NOT medical advice - and should NOT be used to replace your MD's advice. Info is only the opinion of those who publish the site.
The shortest way to do many things is to do only one thing at a time.
cb Posts: 669 | From somewherebetweentherocks | Registered: Mar 2008
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Proud to serve, that is hysterical!
I had to read it twice, because it made perfect sense to me too!
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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