Topic: my sisters want dvd of mom's funeral back!!!
randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
you absolutely won't believe this. i mean it, you won't. well maybe some of you will. listen to this. i am utterly speechless.
at mom's funeral they have a presentation where you give them pictures of their life and they make a dvd with the pictures and music in the background. it's really nice.
let me say this dvd is write protected or something and cannot be copied. we've tried and called every place around and nobody can copy it. so even if i do send it back, they can't copy it either...clear as mud right?
so yesterday one sister (and i have three sisters) called and said (get this), darlene lost her copy of her dvd. she was supposed to make copies for all he relatives, so doni (another sister) gave her her copy which darlene also lost. pam is supposed to have a copy also.
well apparently none of them have a copy anymore and they want me to MAIL MY ONLY COPY back to them....
michael is furious, absolutely furious. they said they can't find their copies and they want my only copy. i gave them pictures of mom to make this which i didn't get back and now i have only one picture of my mom.
i got some clothes, one print, some cookbooks and a couple of bottles of perfume. they got everything else, furniture, pictures, household items, garden everything. they said they wanted to keep things "in the family"....so they did.
i'm going to call the funeral home and see if they can duplicate that dvd and then tell them to go pick up another copy. this funeral home is within blocks of doni's house. i mean right down the street...
i think they don't want me to have this dvd and have decided to just get it back. mike says i'm being paranoid (which is what i do) and they are just stupid and thoughtless and don't want to call the funeral home.
i don't want to return the dvd because i know i'll never get it back, so what do you think? mike wants to tell them to "____ off", but i can't. every the peacemaker, that's me....
but i'm really really hurt...i just know they would take it and again i'd get nothing.
i'm floored, absolutely floored......
what do you think???
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Call the funeral home and find out if they can help your sisters. It really is their problem, but it seems like you are they only one thinking reasonably.
You can also use this opening to ask for your pictures back that they used-they opened this door-go in...
lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
I would think considering how much support and compassion that they have shown you that you owe them nothing. Well, less than nothing. And you owe yourself no guilt.
Do not give them your only copy or you will never see it again.
Find someone that may have a private copier if the funeral home can't redo one. And then decide if they are worth this aggrevation. lmt
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i called the funeral home and they send the pictures out to a movie making company which does this. it's movie copyright protected and you can't copy it, period.
they said to have them call and order copies and it costs 30 bucks each...
which is exactly what i'm going to tell them.
and right now if they don't like it tuff. they each had a copy, 3 copies, and they lost them...
i wonder what's going to happen when they sell the house? a lawyer is handling it so i'm sure they can't screw me out of my share, but i'm sure they going to try and find a way.
i never thought they would do this....but again, funerals bring out the best and worst.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
This sounds pretty "fishy" to me. All three sisters just happen to lose the same dvd in this short of time? I'm sorry, but you don't "lose" a dvd of your mothers funeral. You just don't!!
They sound like scammers to me. Sheesh!
I'd make sure I got my pictures back, too. The longer you wait...the harder it will be and the more excuses they will have.
Do i sound bitter??? Nah...lol
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
that's exactly what mike said. all three "loose" a copy of their mother's funeral!! c'mon, mom died on may lst, the funeral was may 3rd, and they've already "lost" their copies....
and one sister is th executor!!! get a grip, how stupid do you think i am!!
they probably want to give a copy to some aunt or uncle or something and don't want to pay for it.. and since I'm "not family" they want me to give up my copy.
NOT!!!!
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
If you can't copy it, neither can they. Given the history you've told us here about your sisters, I'd say they are making it up to get your copy to give to whoever they want to give it to. They will certainly "lose" yours, too. Trust me, they did not "lose" something so special.
DO NOT GIVE IT TO THEM!
Tell them if they want another they can BUY it from the company that made it.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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tdtid
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10276
posted
RandiBear,
I need to jump on this band wagon and say that you should NOT NOT NOT give them your copy of your DVD. Sadly, you will never see it again and that would be heart breaking.
If they can't give your pictures back, WHY would they give the DVD, so I still say, "no, no, no."
With that said, I know that you said this DVD can't be copied.
Technically it is perfectly legal to duplicate a DVD. There is a law in place called "Fair Use" that allows you to make a (single) copy of your property to protect against failure or estruction of the original media.
That said, the big media organizations (MPAA and RIAA) hate it and are trying to get rid of it. This is a huge battle. They would go so far as to prevent "time shifting", such as recording a show to watch it later, without them having control of that temporary recording that was made.
I'm going to send you a private email in regards to making your own private copy of this DVD to put in a separate place. Many make it hard to actually get the copy but there is plenty of freeware online that you can use to get past that.
If nothing else, IF and that's a huge IF, you have the only remaining copy of this very valuable DVD, I'd certainly make another copy and stuff it away in a Safety Deposit box or something.
Then you could view the other one or do what your heart ends up telling you you need to do whether from guilt or whatever, but will still have your own butt covered.
Off to send the PM.
Cathy
-------------------- "To Dream The Impossible Dream" Man of La Mancha Posts: 2638 | From New Hampshire | Registered: Oct 2006
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Do not give them anything but the information about how to get their own copies made for $30.00.
Didn't they filch a ring or something of sentimental value to you? I'd call the lawyer handling the estate and give him a heads-up as to the inequity that has been going on! Ask to please be taken into consideration in a more equitable manner.
Hugs to you and indignant booting towards your sibs,
wiserforit
Posts: 508 | From Banks of the Hudson | Registered: Jul 2006
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posted
Gee, I always wanted a sister... Maybe not!
I'll keep my two loving brothers thank you very much!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
She's your mom too! Keep your DVD. You need the good memories. And hopefully your siblings will soon pull out of this selfish funk that they seem to have gotten stuck in.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
Now I'm glad I made the DVD for my mom's reception. I have the orginal and can make copies for whomever I choose.
So sorry you have to go through all this mess.
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
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1Bitten2XShy
Unregistered
posted
We have a DVD same as yours from our son's funeral. If anyone lost a copy, there is NO WAY we would give ours up! It is a lovely reminder of the good times we shared with our son.
Let them fork over the $ 30 bucks, with NO GUILT on your part.
If they get Po'd at you, too bad. Seems to me like they only think of themselves throughout all of this and give you no love & support anyway!
Tough love stinks, and you need to dish some out to them!
I am sorry you have to deal with this. But keep your good memories of your Mom close to your heart.
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
It is all about who gets the most. Money will destroy many families. Been there and done that. I was on the short end of the stick like you.
I have 3 cousins fighting now and it is 2 against one, so she gets the short end too.
Just sit back and you will at least be able to sleep at night. Just think. The time will soon come when they will destroy each other. The executor can take more money for fees. That should blow the kettle off of their little circle. Peace. lmt
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Ask for your pictures back! They can take copies of those pictures and have them for themselves.
I'd tell the "sisters" that you'll do the legwork for their mishaps, by getting copies of the DVD for them, but that you'll need to charge them for your time
posted
No way... tell them that DVDs don't walk very far... get off their butts and look for their own! There is NO WAY Id send my only copy after they way they treated you.
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