posted
She's really not a teen rather a young adult...
She dose great when she takes her meds.... ...but when she stops...when she feels its time she spirals down....crashes completely....dosen't stay on top of taking care of herself and I have become the enemy...trying to find ways for her to want to take care of herself...
... the depression...and disease I'm afraid has totaly taken over my daughter....
She has flat out told us that she is suicidal...that she dosen't want to live...
we are working very hard and doing the best that we can my Dh and I.... we are starting counceling...because we need direction...whatever we are doing isn't working..hasn't been working ..
we know our daughter is sick....we want to help her... we would do ANYTHING for her... she needs to stay on treatmnet we know that...
I think with her grandmother's help (the only person she really trusts) she will go to counceling...
She's been to phycs...and on variouse phyc meds...but stops and starts them like they are pain meds or something.... yes I know very dangerouse....
We feel we've been throwing her ropes but she just dosen't care to grab on to any... so sad...
we feel so helpless sometimes...and its so unbearable to watch your child suffer and just not want to be anymore....
I guess I just wanted to hear from other parents and ask what to do with the helplessness.. the feeling that you are loosing your child and can't stop it...
any thoughts.. advice..words of wisdom..would be appreciated...
this is not something we (dh and I) can talk to with just anybody...thats why I came here...
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
mtree...
So sorry to hear about your girl. I can't imagine the pain you and she are going through.
I hesitate to mention this.. but I think you know me well enough that I am trying very hard to help and will go the extra mile if able to do what I can.
To me this sounds a bit off the wall.. BUT.. I've seen it work and had a doctor just recently tell me that if they ever had a person in the situation your daughter is in... they would do this too.
The Glutathione IV seems to work wonders on the depression aspect. Clearing the toxins makes a lot of difference in the mental thoughts and attitude... as anyone on antibiotics can tell you when they are feeling sick and toxic and then stop the antibiotics.
I would try this to see if it helps her. I know of no other quick and fairly easy.. and cheap too way to do this clearing.
I wish I had more answers.. but if it were my child.. I would do this. I would insist after seeing the benefits of it.
I'm so sorry that your family is going through this.
I can't speak as a mom of a young adult who is feeling suicidal, as my kids are little.
But I can speak as a person who has worked with many who have suffered from depression, as well as other psychiatric disorders.
There are resources out there for family members, like the Mental Health Association, or Intensive Family Support Services. (I have the Monmouth contact info, and could probably get the Ocean, if you want it.)
Have you looked into any kind of outreach services for your daughter? Outreach (when done well) can be very helpful. A counselor comes once a week to see the person recieving services, and, if that person is agreeable, family members.
I don't know much about the specfic programs in your county, but the outreach program that I used to oversee worked from the perspective that the people that we worked with decided what they did or did not want to work on.
If people wanted to go to college, we helped them go to college. If they needed housing, we found them housing. We didn't just do mental health, because recovering from/coping with psychiatric problems is not just about taking pills. It's about the whole person, and if your whole life is about pills and being sick, why would you want to go on? People need to know that if they take care of the symptoms and take the pills, life can and will have something to offer them, and you don't have to wait until the symptoms are all gone to start working on that something.
By and large, the people that we worked with got a lot out of what we did (including not ending up in the hospital), and they didn't want to let us go when the time came for us to close their case (the service was time-limited).
If you want contact info, let me know, I'll be more than happy to get some numbers for you, and to fill you in on what different services are about, so your daughter can make an educated decision about what kind of help she might want, and who she wants to provide that help.
In the mean time, it is good that you have started with a counselor for you and your dh. I know the idea of a support group for this is intimidating, but you may find it helpful to meet other parents or family members that have had to deal with these issues. (assuming that they are supportive, rather than venting).
You can always listen and say nothing, last I knew there was no law against that. I wouldn't push this, except I know that the people who know best about coping with this are the people that have been there, and that's the only resource that I know that offers this.
I hope all of that helps, and if you need anything, let me know.
take care, kp
Posts: 394 | From tinton falls nj | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I have a 17 year old daughter who was suicidal before Lyme was finally diagnosed. She got Lyme when she was 10 and by 15 was out of her mind in pain, fatigue, depression, anxiety, insomnia, easting disorders and more.
At 15 she took an overdose of every pill in the house and was placed in a children's psychiatric hospital for 6 weeks. Meds helped and the counseling helped. They taught her how to cope with life.
She got better, got worse and then was hospitalized again. By this time I suspected it was Lyme and the psychiatrists all said no. With a negative Lyme test we put her on ABX anyway. (My husband and I also have chronic Lyme so this seemed obvious to us.)
Now about 10 months after starting ABX she is better, still depressed, anxious but less so. We can leave her alone now and she is doing the kinds of things mormal teenagers do. Her life is not back to normal but it is better. She is compliant about her meds and medical appointments because she sees herself getting better.
We found support groups helpful. We have an eating disorder support group and a Lyme group. We all go to counseling, individually and family. It's helpful for the therapist to treat Lyme as they would any chronic illness. We educated them on Lyme but the strategies they used were good for any chronic illness.
We finally found good psychiatrists who believe it's Lyme and we have a good and very large treatment team.
Also, meds for my own depression helped. I didn't know or even want to admit it but I was depressed. Having children who are so sick would make anyone depressed. I just asked my PCP for something. It helped a lot.
I know trying to keep her alive is daunting. I know you are worried sick and have no idea of what to do next to help her. Keep trying.
I described what we've done. It took a while but we are finally on the other side of the darkness.
Good luck.
Posts: 79 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
Tincup...thank you for your support.... ....I looked up Glutathione and it sounds like it could or would help...thank you for that... I will talk to her doctor about it...
It's hard to decide which to treat first...the Lyme and Co...the depression...?? ...and making her stick to it...
Kp thank you for taking the time to type all of that very helpful information...these are some things I can talk to the counselor about...I may pick your brain more...
Ticktoc...thank you for sharing your struggle with your daughter...I am truly sorry she and you have to go through this...I`m glad you have gotten out of the darkness...gives me hope.....I agree that the counselor needs to be a bit educated about the disease...and yes pretty much treat it as a disease...like alcoholism...drugs..etc.
...we just have to get my daughter to the counselor...she's 21...can do what she wants..kind of...
That's why we decide to get help...my Dh has already written out things that have been going on with her...medical stuff....she's lost a lot in the last year or two....
Her boyfriend...her best friend...(they didn't die just did bad things to her)...her grandfather died... her cat died...and believe it or not her psychiatrist died....(didn't care for her though anyway)...she came home after her appointment one day...I asked how it went...she said she's dead...I said what...yep my psychiatrist died.... She just can't get a break... Then put the illness on top of all of that...not sleeping good..eating poorly...no exercise...on and off meds...not taking her antibiotic right....its just endless... ..
She went to her grandmothers for a few days...about 2 hours away....so glad she will go there...and my mom is really great with her....been through the whole Alanon program..(AA for family)...she's been through the steps....so she's in good hands there....and she will get her to go to counceling...
Thank you all for sharing all of this and the PM's too... I had my dh read everything too and it helped him too.....wish us luck with the counselor tomorrow night...boy is he going to get an ear full...I hope he can really help....
I knew I came to the right place for support.... mtree
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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AliG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9734
posted
I'm so sorry you're having to go through this.
I don't have any wisdom to offer you, all I could think of was www.thehumansideoflyme.net, Holy Basil, Lymenet & The Nationwide Suicide Hotline 1-800-784-2433.
I did a search here and came up with a thread that might give you some other parents you could reach out to: Teens with Lyme
I hope others can give you good direction.
I'll keep you & your DD in my prayers. Ali
-------------------- Note: I'm NOT a medical professional. The information I share is from my own personal research and experience. Please do not construe anything I share as medical advice, which should only be obtained from a licensed medical practitioner. Posts: 4881 | From Middlesex County, NJ | Registered: Jul 2006
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lymednva
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9098
posted
Another good source of info about mental illnesses, including depression, is the National Alliance for the Mentally Ill (NAMI). Their website is www.nami.org.
They have a lot of great info on their website as well as support groups around the country.
In addition there is the Depression Bipolar Support Alliance (DBSA). Their website has a lot of good info also, www.dbsalliance.org.
My son has joined a support group of DBSA and has become very involved with them. He has also been asked to help lead a new teen group in our area.
Both of these groups are well-respected and their websites are quite comprehensive.
Good luck. It's tough to deal with teens/young adults who suffer from these illnesses along with Lyme.
-------------------- Lymednva Posts: 2407 | From over the river and through the woods | Registered: Apr 2006
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I do empathize and am sorry. The loss of the cat, psychiatrist and other just adds to all the emotion and inability to cope and making this all the more difficult. Her age is also problematic. You can't force her to do anything but there is hope that she is perhaps a little more mature and a little more brain developed than a teen.
My daughter just lost her grandmother. They were very close. And her eating disorder doctor is now dying of pancreatic cancer. That doctor has been wonderful with the eating disorders although she won't say that Lyme played a role in it. Loss is difficult, no matter your age.
My mantra: Find the joy, embrace the fear, count your blessings, keep going.
Posts: 79 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
So sorry to hear about your daughter. I have lived through the same nightmare and to encourage you, my daughter is past the worst of it, but it took a long time to get her where she is today.
A couple of things that made a difference for her were changing meds and vitamin D3. I don't know who watches your daughter's meds, but sometimes the combination can make a bad situation worse. That is one of the problems we encountered. My daughter was on too many meds and the combination of a couple of them made her psychosis much worse. Finding the right psychiatrist was very key in getting that sorted out. We saw a couple of different ones before we found the right one. He took her off of several meds and tried a different antidepressant. It took a few months to get the meds out of her system, but once that happened, she was much better.
I asked to have her vitamin d levels checked in January and they were too low. She has responded to treatment faster since we have been supplementing with D3. It has also helped with her depression.
I wish there was a quick fix for you, because I know how awful this is right now. I will keep you in my prayers.
Posts: 177 | From God's Grace | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
Just a quickie before I'm off to the councelor with Dh...
but thank you thank you thank you..
you all have been absolutly amazing...the info...the shared experiences...the time...the pm's..
I'm still catching up to reading everything..
Tick Toc... already put your Mantra..on my computer screen...(where I am most of the time )
I love it...and these are things I already do...
FIND THE JOY...EMBRACE THE FEAR....COUNT YOU BLESSINGS...KEEP GOING....
I think I'll write a big one and put it on the frig..(where everyone else is most of the time )
Thank you all... mtree....and family...
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
My mantra was so important to me that I made a bracelet (I make jewelry for fun) out of hand made clay beads and I named each bead. The pretty one is Find the Joy and the uglier one was Embrace the Fear. There are other names for the other beads.
I found myself spinning the beads on my wrist and reminding myself to find the joy and embrace the fear... It helped me.
So, I now sell these bracelets, along with the story of how the bracelet came to be. Each one is hand made using hand made clay beads that I roll myself and fire in my kitchen stove. A portion of the profits support Lyme education and advocacy.
I donated one to the Dr. Jones fundraiser a few weeks ago in New Haven.
Glad my mantra helped.
Posts: 79 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Jun 2008
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posted
Well the counselor survived us last night... .
.....gave him a couple of ears full....we liked him...my daughter goes tonight...we are hoping she will be able to connect with him... He's a family counselor and likes to get the family involved with helping the main person....I liked that...A LOT!!
My Dh said to him....I did check our insurance and we have 20 sessions covered.... The counselor very nicely said....well usually we don't need to use all 20 sessions but I think with this case we'll be using all of them...
I have to say we (dh and I) have been stressed to the max with our daughter....done and doing everything we can possibly think of...but when we got back into our car we both looked at each other and had a really good chuckle about what he said...about the 20 sessions...
Oohhh...he doesn't even know the half of it yet...that was one session...we have soooooo much much more....
We told my daughter what he said and thank god she still has a bit of herself left in there and chuckled about it too...I miss her so much......an amazing person she is....
I hope we are on the right road now for her and with her ...I hope he can give us the tools we need to help her...I know its going to be a loooong continuous road with her...and it's going to take time...energy...love... .....and I may have to jump on here every now and then for support...
The counselor asked what we wanted to get out of counseling.... I just told him.....I want my daughter back...we need help finding her...for whatever the reasons are...she is completely lost...... ... whatever it takes whatever we have to do....we'll do... That's what I want....
Tick Tock.....mantra is on the frig...Dh loved it too.... I'm pretty sure its on his computer now too.....
Thanks again everyone... mtree
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
Good news that the counselor asked you to come back! Some have gone running before we even got to the tough stuff!
Keep at it. It will be worthwhile. It's hard work and it will exhaust you. So take care of yourself too.
I'll be thinking of you all. Best wishes.
Someone posted the story and link below a few days ago. Maybe this will inspire you:
THE STORY An invalid son asked his father, 'Dad, will you take part in a marathon with me?'.
The father, despite having a heart condition, says 'Yes'. They went on to complete the marathon together.
Father and son went on to join other marathons, the father always saying 'Yes' to his son's request of going through the race together.
One day, the son asked his father, 'Dad, let's join the Ironman together.' To which, his father said 'Yes' too.
For those who don't know, Ironman is the toughest triathlon ever. The race encompasses three endurance events of a 2.4 mile (3.86 kilometer) ocean swim, followed by a 112 mile (180.2 kilometer) bike ride, and ending with a 26.2 mile (42.195 kilometer) marathon along the coast of the Big Island .
Father and son went on to complete the race together. View this race at..... .....
Usually insurance covers 20 or so visits each calendar year and for each of the insured.
So, since it's late August, use those 20 visits before 12-31-08, then you'll get 20 more for 2009.
They can bill 20 visits under one insured and then another 20 under another insured.
This is how it works for us. Check it out.
Posts: 79 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Jun 2008
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
mtree, I am so sorry another family is going thru this. It is Hell. I pray daily that no more will be affected but it still persists.
My prayers are with you. I walk in those shoes daily and have for 10 years. You must be vigilent to keep her alive until she is better. hugs lmt
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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TickTock you said..... "Good news that the counselor asked you to come back! Some have gone running before we even got to the tough stuff!".. ....I cracked up....its sooooooo true....
My daughter wasn't crazy about the councelor...I knew that would happen...she has had horrible counceling...very few good ones out there...
We all had a good chuckle though when she got home.... she said... "....not only did he run out of paper writing down stuff about me....his pen ran out of ink!!!"...
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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lymeloco
Unregistered
posted
I am not a teen, but I myself have experienced this awful affliction. I did see a psychiatrist only to not look at the fact that I had neuroborreliosis.
Many drugs tried which made me worse and until we started i.v. did things really start to subside. It's an uphill battle for an adult who can rationalize but for a teenager it has got to be the pits! Talk to your llmd and see what he/she thinks and hang in there mom...it will get easier.
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posted
as you can see it is 2010 now...I started this thread in 2008..
...I hesitated in writing an update but as I'm reading many threads with parents going through such tragic times I thought about where I was with my own daughter a couple of years ago.. ....she was then 21yrs old...now next week she will be 24yrs old... There is Hope!!!
she has come a looooooooooooong way .....and it has taken a looooooong time...but I am here to say that she is doing better...much better... two different worlds from 2008-2010....
she still has her challenges...physicaly....and knows she needs to treat...but she has scene the worst and doesn't want to go back...
she is working now...taking classes...and her life is full...she smiles and laughs and is herself now...even when she is cranky I know it's her.....
but during that time I thought we had lost her...so incredibly sad and scary....not knowing where to turn...or if we were doing the right thing...
I remember feeling numb all of the time.....and having to put a game face on everyday was exhausting...
But I wanted to say to the parents out there dealing with there teens/young adults to hang on.....
I still go by that Mantra Tick Tock said to me back then...
...Find the Joy.... Embrace the Fear...Count your Blessings and Keep Going...
....back in 2008 I mostly concentrated on the Keep Going part....... It's all I could do....Fear made me paralyzed...and Joy was non existing...and I prayed for blessings more then counted....I just kept going....numb...
Now 2010 There is great joy in seeing her smile and laugh again.......I have learned to embrace fear and not let it paralize me.... I count my blessings everyday....and I still keep going...
I hope this has helped in some way for the parents out there...going through this heartbreaking and scary time...
......be strong...breathe...come here to let out the fear, anger and sadness for support...we can help you to keep going....
mtree
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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posted
Margie, you sweet child...i don't know how i missed this post about you daughter....
God Bless you...i can at some time tell you about my oldest daughter... i was so bad and now 10 yrs later and reading about your daughter...its like its all happening again...
we indeed have so much in common....
i am so glad you and she are in a good place...and you are one wonderful Mom...
take care and you know i am keeping your whole family in my prayers....
Madge....
-------------------- madgen Posts: 342 | From newjersey | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
At first i was horrified that i had missed your post. Then i saw the date. Thank you so much for the encouraging update. Im so glad youre on the road to getting your daughter back. Im hoping for nothing but continued success and prayers that your family will be totally restored.
Posts: 624 | From Oklahoma | Registered: Jun 2010
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