posted
Since Lyme hit me hard 10 years ago my self esteem has took a toll. My esteem didn't go down easily.
I was and still am told constantly that I have some psychological Issues. From friends, family, doctors, husband Eventually my esteem has gone down, way down. To worthless. I'm trying to regain it.
People tell me oh your depressed, low self esteem. You should go to work. Socialize more. Take some classes to get your brain working again.
It's like they don't hear a word about my pain or my pain etc. It frustrates me that they think I'm choosing not to work or take classes or exercise. All things I enjoyed doing before this disease hit me.
I'd love to do it again. I have even tried. Some over and over again. But have failed. There thought on that. "I'm not willing"
I would really like to know
Does anyone else struggle with low self esteem since this disease hit them?
Why do people think it's some other deep seeded reason for it?
Fancy
Posts: 258 | From San Diego, CA USA | Registered: Sep 2002
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In my opinion any of us who are stressed to not be a bale to handle our normal repsonoibilties to spouses, kids , jobs all suffer some degreee of self-esteem issue.
In addition, i personlayy think Lyme assists in creating some level of demotivation and the depression. Once that happens you start feeling lousy about yourself ror not doing what you need to do to get and stay well.
Persoanlly the only antidote i have found is some or any level of excerice and prayer....find ways to lift your spirit by doing stuff for yourself. Simple stuff like buy a new CD that is uplifting...watch a great movie...sounds corny i know but you need to give your brain a break.
Just keep fighting and don't worry about what others think, we have all gone through the stage of why doesn't anyone understand? While it is true...that emotion is wasted energy in your recovery. I still struggle to get past it on some days....i'm surrounded by a family that does not understannd. But this is my battle and i have accepted it...so i choose to ingore that and focus on what i can do for myself.
Hope this helps a little,
Dave
-------------------- On my journey to wellness - One day at a time. Posts: 989 | From NJ | Registered: Sep 2008
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posted
I spent a few years wondering what was wrong with me. That was depressing. Discovering I had Lyme was in some ways a relief. At least there was a reason for the lethargy, moodiness,etc.
Dave makes a lot of excellent points. We probably all feel some degree of guilt because we can't fulfill our obligations as we used to be able to do. That sure can be depressing.
Instead of worrying about things I can't do, I look for things I can do. Do things that give you hope. I do a lot of research trying to find answers. Finding things that work gives me hope. Prayer gives me hope. Look to do things that gratify you. I like doing good things for other folks for instance.
Focus on what you can do. Not what you can't do.
Don't let people's lack of understanding get you down. You didn't ask to be Lymed. And you'e not alone
Take care, Ray
Posts: 51 | From Reno, NV | Registered: Dec 2008
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Definitely can relate to what you mean. I think for a combination of the symptoms (memory, word finding problems, speech problem when really bad, etc. etc.) work to keep me this way along with all the people that just think we like to make our symptoms up (IDSA brainwashed).
I can't even do housework at times which is really depressing so I started making lists 3-4 things to begin with and up from there. That way when I check things off I feel I've accomplished something (even though it might be something a "normal" person would do as part of a 20 part list . Some days I have to scrap the list I feel so crappy. I think you do feel better if you can be in the sun at least 15 minutes or more (at least for me I've noticed that). I think exercise might help too. I've noticed it helps when you're with folks that knew you previous to Lyme too.
-------------------- RV Posts: 249 | From Healing in USA | Registered: Mar 2005
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As someone in my mid 30s who loves the snow, wants to go skiing, wants to go winter fishing, or even shovel the driveway and I cannot,
I dont even do the basics like go to the movies anymore even when a few friends call,
Most days its even hard to make food for myself but I know I must so I do it somehow...
Makes me wonder whats the point to this life then ???
And I truly feel depressed and just want to cry and wish people could understand but they dont and will not,
At first they listened, then they acted to care and offered help, eventually got tired or nagged by being around someone who only has a Disease based conversation or bad thoughts to talk about, and so later they just went away slowly and surely, so living alone and being alone and being sick is just, cant find the right words...
My one last friend who comes over and sees me here on Lymenet now says to me, Again youre there and again youre reading more into this ???
Oh well what can I say, i just want to take more Xanax and go to sleep, just dont want to oversleep my time for the Antibiotics, go back to bed, and then a few hours later the Probiotics.
I feel for you and your pain, really hope we can one day very soon get the proper Care and Cure for this Horrible Life Altering Disease as well as the well deserved and overdue Attention and Respect.
Best regards, Eric
Posts: 570 | From philadelphia, pa | Registered: Dec 2008
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
I also felt relief at my Lyme diagnosis.
After two years of treatment (still going),
I realize a few things.
I do not let this disease define who I am.
I must give credit where it is due though.
This disease has toughened me. Made me stronger.
Contributed to a higher level of spirituality.
Made me appreciative of the smallest good things.
Has made me smarter. More able to understand others with chronic illness'.
Of course, my friends at Lymenet have also
Contributed greatly to this "new" me.
Self- esteem does take a blow.
Here I was a Speech Pathologist who couldn't speak.
I had a Master's Degree and couldn't remember
A conversation I had 5 min. earlier.
I couldn't walk and talk.
A trip to the grocery store was pure heck.
However, I still go on. I kept and keep going.
Try to find something, anything that this situation has brought you.
Yes, I've lost a lot.
I choose to look at this as a mountain that I am going to climb.
Not a mountain that I can't.
I may not want to climb that mountain,
But the only way to the top is to climb.
Picture yourself on top of that mountain.
Pray about it.
You are loved and important.
You are always worthy. Whether you are sick or well.
You will get there.
Sending you positive thoughts and prayers.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Oh, thank you so much for the replies. I am not glad for eveyone having the disease but I am glad to know I'm not alone in the self esteem issue.
I've got something out of every single reply!! That's pretty nice.
DaveNJ Thanks for the tips. Great tips by the way. I do use them. Sometimes well, like now, it doesn't work as well.
lymie68, Thank you for sharing. I've been so wrapped up in this court case I forgot to focus on what I can do. Thanks for reminding me
IMHisda Yes, it's still hard to give up that 20 things on the list. Even after 10 years. I still have a clear memory what it was like way back when.
Eric, It's like your in my head. The same experiences. Thank you so much.
[ 13. January 2009, 02:14 PM: Message edited by: FancyRatFan ]
Posts: 258 | From San Diego, CA USA | Registered: Sep 2002
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Fancy
Posts: 258 | From San Diego, CA USA | Registered: Sep 2002
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i can't tell you how i appreciate you bringing this up.
i have NO self-esteem. i mean none. i feel like i'm an absolute zero.
i was a lan administrator, office manager, civil rights specialist, all of it. jack of all trades. had a good job, excellent salary, and juggled bad employees tooooo..
then i got lyme. my attendance record crashed along with my performance so i retired when the other employees just didn't get it.
then dealing with a husband who doesn't believe in lyme (say's it's a woman's excuse to do nothing), calls me "incredibly stupid"....and sometimes it's more than i can bear...
then mom dying, loosing my sisters, man, lyme has taken a toll....
i don't want to do anything, go anywhere, talk to anyone...i just want to be left ALONE.....let me clean my house, watch tv, and have some peace and quiet.
we're going on a cruise (mainly because HIS friends said "oh you've got to do this"...) but i DON'T want to go...i just want to shut the damn door and say "good riddance" to the world....
i often wonder where in the world i went, what happened to that person....
it's frustrating....i get the old "get a job, go back to school (yeah, right, like i could remember anything anyway.), get out, make new friends....
people don't get it.
this disease either makes you a hermit or crazy...or in my case a misanthrope....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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. Some days I have to scrap the list I feel so crappy. I think you do feel better if you can be in the sun at least 15 minutes or more (at least for me I've noticed that). I think exercise might help too. I've noticed it helps when you're with folks that knew you previous to Lyme too.![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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