posted
As my life would have it, a month and a half into treatment of 16 years untreated Lyme, and two weeks after getting out of the hospital from a herx that almost killed me, my abusive father decides to lose it and attack me.
It's just getting rediculous at this point. I finally decided to call the police on my dad because it's not like it's the first time it's happened, but because I did, I'm now 'out of the family'.
I've been disabled from the Lyme for over two years now and finally am in treatment, now this. I'm at my sister's friends apartment for now kind of crashing here, but it's only for so long, a month or so. I have no idea how I'm going to continue treatment or even where I'm going to live.
At some point when do you just give up? I have no where to go at this point, my family all thinks I'm nuts and my parents are telling everybody that it was me that attacked my dad to cover their butts.
It's seriously to a point where I just feel like laying somewhere and not ever getting up.
Posts: 17 | From Near Ft. Wayne. IN | Registered: Mar 2009
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Hey unshakable...
Looks like you got shook. And out of a family situation you REALLY didn't need.. so that MAY be a good thing?
It doesn't feel good NOW... but maybe there will be something better down the pike coming along.
I can't imagine how upset and hurt you must feel. It's a crying shame this has happened to you.
When I am at my lowest.. the first thing I do is cry and get that over with.
Then I shake a tail feather and make a plan. Looks like you have about a month to do some planning.
does your community have a BATTERED WOMEN'S SAFE HOUSE?
could you call the non-emergency police no. and ask their guidance?
another suggestion; you may NOT feel suicidal right now, but calling this hotline now may give you other choices THEY are aware of since they are well-trained.
If you are feeling suicidal, please call the SUICIDE HOTLINE. We care about you. bettyg ***********************
putting you into my thoughts and prayer. bettyg, iowa activist
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
unshakeable,
Good advice above...plus I would encourage to contact a minister or priest, even if you don't have one that you know.
They often can help you find resources and they can often counsel you for free when you are feeling despondent and depressed.
You are worthwhile. Even if it hurts right now, you may be better off being away from that toxic situation.
I always believe that the truth will eventually be revealed. You know...what goes around, comes around.
Take the high road always. Do what is right even when you take heat for it.
As stated above....make some calls and make a plan.
How about contacting drug companies requesting free meds?
If you don't get state assistance (welfare), try that route too.
I'm sure there are other ideas too that will come up once you start talking to organizations.
Do not give up. I will pray for you.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Thank you for the support, it's kind of hard to fully explain my situation in a sound bit, and I'm fighting my moods and my head from sounding crazy depressed, but I just started Levoquin for Bart and it's getting hard to not show the depression.
I'm living with people that aren't really even my friends at all, but are letting me stay here out of a favor from my sister, so I'm trying not to ask too much of them and they not want me to stay here kind of thing.
I left home with a $1 in my pocket and that's about it. I have some numbers I could call, need to call, but I don't have a phone at this point, and people I am living with just have cells and not many mins so I haven't been able to call many places yet.
The neuro probs have been major and in a normal situation, I'd be having trouble figuring things out to do, but with how bad my brain is now, I don't know which way is up.
It's like I know in my head things I need to do, like what the outcome needs to be, but I can't think enough to figure out what to do to get there.
um...... this was from my previous post, easier to copy paste for me?
I live in north east Indiana, and like a lot of places, nobody here has a clue about Lyme. Been misdiagnosed with mental illness for the last 9 years, but about 8 months ago my body started deteriorating fast, dropped a lot of weight, ect.
I found an okay LLMD about 2 and a half hours away, but am not being treated aggressively, and have not been tested or treated for possible coinfections.
Have yet to do an Igenex western blot, but while I was in the hospital for a week earlier this month, tested negative with an Elisa test as I expected. I want to do the Igenex test but money is a huge issue.
I have Indiana State Medicaid though.
Have done a CD57 test that came back an 11, which I know is very low. Also test with having high levels of lead and aluminum. Weak antibody showing for candida. No tests for coinfections done.
Having many neuro problems so it's been hard for me to figure out what to do, or to communicate clearly online even which has held me back, but I'm determined to make some more progress.
I have been on 300mg of Doxy for about 6 weeks now, and started 1750mg of amoxicillin a day last week along with the doxy.
I was recently in the hospital for a week when I lost all control of my body and slid down the stairs, and couldn't move or talk for two days, but have slowly gotten most functions back. I also had a seizure while in the hospital and coded and all that.
They of course threw out the diagnosis of Lyme and had to have phsyc consults and all that fun stuff, with an infectious disease doc, "completely ruling out Lyme" from their Elisa in house test, and with looking up diagnostics online, haaaaa. Yeah, I know the whole deal with everything, and it has been the same as most deal with, with doctors having no clue what they are talking about.
I'm looking at my next step with things, I have an appointment wednesday with my current LLMD, but she's not a specialist and I have been feeling the need to go to a full specialist, have been thinking of Dr. C in MO, but money is a major issue, and I'm having to convince family of the need to take drastic measures of traveling that far.
Brain fog is terrible, so I have trouble sorting through everything and figuring out what I'm even doing most of the time. Um, so sorry if my posts aren't ..... concise.
----
It was that wednesday, a week ago after coming home from the doctor appointment, my dad had taken me and was ****ed off because I was in there two hours, and right as we got home out of frustration I yelled something at him and he ended up hitting me - 'beating me up'.
So now I am here with people I don't really know, partly bed ridden, and can't drive or walk to any place. I've been trying to get the couple friends I have in the area to come see me so I can ask for some help, but it seems they don't want to get involved .
I hate to say that I am suicidal, I can't help but to want to think that it may be better at this point to just throw in the towel. I know that is the Lyme/bart talking though but it's still there.
I'm trying to get a phone, trying everything I can to get some cash, even selling things I shouldn't, but nobody has any money around here anyway.
I guess my name isn't proving true at this point, I used to be unshakable no matter how bad things got, I've just run out of will power at this point.
Sorry to waste your time on another sob story... I'll get something figured out.
Posts: 17 | From Near Ft. Wayne. IN | Registered: Mar 2009
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
If you are a minor, call your local social services and see if they can help. Check your local health department too. Also there should be shelters that can help with a place to stay and look for soup kitchens.
What a horrible thing for you to go through while on Levaquin for Bart.
Your in my thoughts and prayers Unshakeable.
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6918 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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