Topic: Prayer request....sorry but I really need God's help with this one
Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759
posted
Hi everyone.
As some have heard or figured out, I found out over the weekend I am pregnant.
To those that don't know, I am very ill still with Lyme and babesia, and I would have never planned this pregnancy for fear of the baby's health right now.
Sometimes I feel like my intuition is telling me I should have an abortion because it would prevent the child from so much suffering (not by having a sick mother, but in case the baby ends up as sick as me)
But then I see what a blessing babies are, and I find it hard to believe God would let me get pregnant if it wasn't intended.
So here is my prayer request: Please pray that God will show me what to do, or that He will help me make the right decision.
I just feel like this decision is beyond me, and I know I won't be able to make the RIGHT decision without people praying for me.
My name is Devin in case anyone is wondering..
Thank you.
Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008
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Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759
posted
PS--I do know that women with Lyme can have healthy babies, but I have just always felt personally that my body would have a difficult time protecting the baby from how bad I feel my infections are. Or maybe I am just worried that my child would get too many bugs, since I have tested positive for 5 TBD's already.
So yes, I just need prayers so I can make a good decision....the right one.
Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008
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Starfall1969
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 17353
posted
Devin,
I read your post yesterday about the decision you were trying to make.
I thought about you the whole way to work this morning, and just cried and prayed for you the whole way there.
I kept envisioning angels surrounding that precious little bundle and protecting him/her from Lyme and whatever else may be present.
God is truly the God of miracles,, and He can make something good come from this.
I am one of those pro-lifers, but at the same time, I in no way put myself in God's place to judge anyone's decision, especially in a situation like this.
I feel, as you do, that if God allowed this pregnancy, then He has some intention for it. I won't even pretend to know what that intention might be.
So just know that you are loved and are being prayed for as you struggle with this.
Posts: 1682 | From Dillsburg, PA | Registered: Sep 2008
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posted
I just found out I have lyme. I do not know if my kids have it, but my intuition tells me that my oldest does. I'm pretty sure it was from birth since his health problems started at such a young age. I'm going to get him tested soon. He has Tourette's syndrome pretty bad with a few other symptoms that go with TS and/or lyme... but I'm so glad I have him. I think he's glad he has me, too.
In your weakness God is made stronger! I am so happy that you are turning to Him.
-------------------- Never doubt in darkness what the daylight proves to you. Posts: 418 | From Utah | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
Just letting you know, you've been on my prayer list for quite some time. I'll just amend the reason that you're on there, and add a few extra prayers here and there
It'll all be okay. I know it. <3
Posts: 710 | From West Coast | Registered: May 2008
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Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759
posted
Starfall1969,
Wow, thank you so much. That means the world to me and really touches my soul. Thank you for not judging and just doing your best to help me through this.
Thank you also to Jasmin and LittleLymie. You guys have no idea how much I appreciate this.
I finally just told my parents. I was crying to my Dad on the phone, just asking him to go to church and pray for me.
I am sorry to be so dramatic, but I am one of those people that really internalizes all my decisions.
For some reason, I am so scared. I can't imagine myself having a healthy baby. I want to imagine it, but when I try to, it is hard to picture a healthy baby coming from the exhausted person I see when I look in the mirror.
Way to go to all the women with Lyme that are able to be so confident about this.
My Dad and Mom said they would being praying for me. I am lucky they are so supportive and sympathetic.
Thanks again. Having such caring people here is one of the things that is keeping me going.
Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008
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I am so glad you turned to your faith with this...
You do have the advantage that you do know you have Lyme so the pregnancy would be watched carefully....
So many have had Lyme through there pregnancies but didn't know....
Do you have confidence in your doctor??
I will pray for you Devin.... I'm one of those that believes there is a reason...a purpose for every life... I'll pray for some clarity for you.....some direction....
``Trust in the Lord with all thine heart...in all thy ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct thy path....'' I live and breath this...
I wish so much that you could be excited by this news....I wish so much that you felt you didn't have to make a decision like this...
No one will judge you either way.....no one should judge you either way... I understand your concerns....your fears...it is a horrible disease..
I'm so sorry you are going through this..
Thinking of you and praying.... mtree
-------------------- worrying about tomorrow takes its strength away from today Posts: 970 | From Point PLeasant , NJ | Registered: Jan 2008
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Dear Devin,
What a pretty name.
I pray that you find the right answer.
I pray for peace in your heart.
I pray for God to send his Angels to hold and comfort you.
I know that God has a reason for everything.
I don't always know that reason, but I believe.
We love you. God loves you.
Hang in there.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Devin, I am praying for you. I think that the way you are feeling is completely normal. I can only tell you what I would do if I found myself in your situation.
I have two kids who were born with lyme and co. If I found myself pregnant again, I would have all of the feelings you are having. I would be scared that this one would get it too.
But, knowing what we have been through with this - I would still have the baby. Because - and this is my opinion - with life there is hope.
And you have every reason to be hopeful - you can be treated during pregnancy with antibiotics that can help you and be safe for the baby.
Lots of women with lyme and co. have healthy babies.
Put your faith in God and also in yourself.
You are going to be so vigilant about your baby's health and if there should be a concern, you will just get treatment early.
A tough decision you have to make - and with all those wonderful pregnancy hormones!
I am lifting you and this decision in prayer.
Posts: 581 | From CT | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Starfall said everything as I would have said it. I'm not that good with words anymore.
I will pray for you and your baby, and our church will too.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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feelfit
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12770
posted
Hoos,
I think that you have very valid feelings. Heck, I feel the same as you, I feel that my exhausted sick body could not possibly carry a baby to term....
I cannot imagine the anxiety that I have now being increased by the thought of protecting a life within me.
That being said, life is mysterious. Perhaps this is God's way of providing everything that you need in order to heal.
I will ask God tonight to provide you with direction, peace, and a comfortable path ahead.
feelfit
Posts: 3975 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
I'm sorry that something as wonderful as finding out that you are pregnant has to be clouded with fear and apprehension. Lyme is awful. It ruins everything.
I feel how heavy your heart is, and I know that turning to your faith will show you the right path.
May I suggest you call and speak to Dr. J in CT? My friend was pregnant and got Lyme, and he helped her through it, and her baby is healthy and happy.
I'm not telling you one way or the other to have or not have the baby--that is your decision and should not be judged. Whatever you decide to do, know that it will be the right choice because you have thought hard and prayed hard for guidance.
I will keep you in my prayers.
Posts: 648 | From northeast | Registered: Feb 2009
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Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759
Thank you so very much! Words cannot express my gratitude. Since I don't leave the house much, this is really my community.
It is so nice to have this kind of support. The prayers will be heard by God, and He will help me, in one way or another.
Hubby and I will be praying together too. But I could tell early on that this was one of those things that could benefit from more than two people praying....I'm sure you all know what I mean.
Going to try to get some sleep. I might take a break from this site tomorrow because I have a lot to do, between my Dr. J stuff, and I want to set some time aside away from the computer where I can just reflect.
I contacted Dr. J, and they want me to fax a bunch of info to them that I need to get prepared. He can't see me in his office as a patient, but he will consult with my LLMD, which will help.
Thanks again! See ya soon!
Devin
Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008
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TadichGrill
Unregistered
posted
Devin may you get all you answers and prayers answered and soon feel confident about whatever you decide to do.
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
devin,
i've been reading your story during my time off, and really feel for you and what you/hubby are going thru.
thank you also for the nice loving words you left on my post, etc.; i appreciate them and ALL replies to the 2 posts about me xox
we had another member in the last 1-2 years who also was so very sick that she felt she could not go thru this pregnancy; she had an abortion, and we helped her thru that too as we will do you EITHER WAY that god and you chose ok!
we are not walking in your shoes; many folks have their own situations; no 2 are identical with all the factors laid out there.
i trust god will show you the way and i'm so glad you talked to dr. jones as well ... getting the best advise you can from our no. 1 kids llmd! it doesn't get any better than that.
devin, you/hubby are in my thoughts and PRAYERS!
God knows you as Devin, and if you'd been a boy might have been named Kevin! Lordy, what if you'd been born 1 of SEVEN!!! lol
just wanted to add my own special touch here showing i'm back! betty
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Have you ever felt the urge to pray for someone and Then just put it on a list and said, 'I'll pray for them later'? Or has anyone ever called you and said, 'I need you to pray for me, I have this need?'
Read the following story that was sent to me and May it change the way that you may think about prayer and also the way you pray. You will be blessed by this....
A missionary on furlough told this true story while Visiting his home church in Michigan .
'While serving at a small field hospital in Africa , Every two weeks I traveled by bicycle Through the jungle to a nearby city for supplies.. This was a journey of two days and Required camping overnight at the halfway point.
On one of these journeys, I arrived in the city Where I planned to collect money from a bank, Purchase medicine, and supplies, and then begin My two-day journey back to the field hospital.
Upon arrival in the city, I observed two men fighting, One of whom had been seriously injured. I treated him for his injuries and at the same time Talked to him about the Lord.
I then traveled two days, camping overnight, and Arrived home without incident....
Two weeks later I repeated my journey. Upon arriving in the city, I was approached by the young man I had treated. He told me that he had known I carried Money and medicines. He said, 'Some friends and I followed you in to the jungle, Knowing you would camp overnight. We planned to kill you and take your money and drugs. But just as we were about to move into your camp, We saw that you were surrounded by 26 armed guards.
At this, I laughed and said that I was Certainly all alone in that jungle campsite... The young man pressed the point, however, and said, 'No, sir, I was not the only person to see the guards, My friends also saw them, and we all counted them. It was because of those guards that We were afraid and left you alone.'
At this point in the sermon, One of the men in the congregation jumped to his feet and interrupted the missionary and asked if he could tell him the exact day this happened. The missionary told the congregation the date, and The man who interrupted told him this story:
'On the night of your incident in Africa , It was morning here and I was preparing to go play golf. I was about to putt when I felt the urge to pray for you. In fact, the urging of the Lord was so strong, I called men in this church to meet with me here In the sanctuary to pray for you.
Would all of those men who met with me on that day stand up?' The men who had met together to pray that day stood up. The missionary wasn't concerned with whom they were, He was too busy counting how many men he saw.
There were 26.
This story is an incredible example of how the Spirit of the Lord moves in behalf of those who love Him. If you ever feel such prodding to pray, go along with it, you don't know what it can mean to that person..
Nothing is ever hurt by prayer except the gates of hell. I encourage you to forward this to as many people as you know. If we all take it to heart, We can turn this world toward God once again. As the above true story clearly illustrates, 'With God all things are possible'.
More importantly, how God hears and Answers the prayers of the faithful.
After you read this, please pass it on and Give God thanks for the beautiful gift of your faith, For the powerful gift of prayer, and for the many miracles He works in your own daily life... And then pass it on. Who says God does not move on the earth today?
I asked the Lord to bless you as I prayed for you today. To guide you and protect you as you go along your way. His love is always with you, His promises are true, and when we give Him our cares you know He will see us through. So when the road you're traveling on seems difficult at best, Just remember I'm here praying, and God will do the rest.
Pass this on to those whom you want God to bless I Can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
Devin, Hopefully some peace and comfort will come to you through the words expressed here and the thoughts and prayers of us all.
I will pray for you, of course I will. I will pray for your baby. I will pray for the health and well being of you both.
I will pray for guidance for you in your decision-making. I will pray for you to have peace with that decision. I will pray that others won't judge what they don't understand.
My church will pray for you. And so will many others who read this post but don't have the right words to reply. And so will many who just pray for the "general needs" of their lymenet friends.
Know you will be remebered in the prayers of many.
Posts: 797 | From New York | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
Well the great thing is your undergoing treatment during your pregnancy and are aware of whats going on. When i was prego i had NO idea how sick i really was. I wish now that i had been on antibiotics during my pregnancy which is an advantage that your child has that mine didnt get. even though i'm CDC positive for lyme, with babesia, and erlichia. my son only tested positive for erlichia...and we know what signs and symptoms to look out for if he were to develop lyme. My son is top of his preschool class in testing and development. He does have some vocal and motor tics which i think he will out grow after his erlichia treatment is done. Dr. S told me that kids recover better then adults. I pray that your pregnancy goes well and you deliver a happy healthy child who will fill your world with a lot of joy and love.
Posts: 58 | From Silicon Valley | Registered: Sep 2008
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posted
A horrible situation to be in. You are damned if you do and damned if you don't.
I don't think God has anything to do with whether the child will contract the disease. It is just nature.
I think you have to look in the mirror and decide on a course of action where you can live with yourself, which I know would be very hard.
I pray if you decide to have it that it is healthy.
Good Luck
John S
[ 04-22-2009, 04:36 PM: Message edited by: John S ]
Posts: 743 | From New York | Registered: Apr 2009
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TadichGrill
Unregistered
posted
I think with either choice you can live with yourself knowing you had the babies best interest in mind. The answer will come to you.
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Devin,
I am praying that God will guide you and bring you peace.
Thank you for sharing your concern/struggle.
Remember that it is during the most difficult times in our lives that God picks us up and carries us.
"Share each other's troubles and problems, and in this way obey the law of Christ". Galatians 6:2
love and prayers, Dek
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Please know that your pregnancy is no mistake-- God does not make such mistakes. He has called your baby into being and has chosen this path for your life.
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps." Proverbs 16:9
Oh, how true we all know that verse to be. For many are the plans in our own heart for our lives....but it is the Lord Who alone is determining our steps.
I know it is difficult when our own plans for our lives change...But God is not frustrated. He never grows weary. He does not sleep or slumber. He is ever awake, ever near, ever in control.
I am praying for you and your baby.
God bless.
Posts: 27 | From New York | Registered: Oct 2008
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Ocean
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3496
posted
Hoosiers,
I said a prayer for you in your decision. For me personally, I didn't know I had Lyme with any of my pregnancies. However, I had been depressed for awhile and while physically I was better at the time (not perfect, but not bedridden any more), I was a wreck mentally, very depressed.
I truly think if I had not gotten pregnant, I may not be here. I remember when he was born, for the first time in many years (since before getting sick 4 years before) I felt joy. True joy, it was an amazing feeling. When he was about 4 months old I remember taking a walk with him in the stroller and I noticed color on the trees for the first time in a long time. It was like my depression had lifted.
Having him gave me renewed purpose to live. Without him, I really don't think I could have kept on.
At the time, I wanted to miscarry because I was so confused about life and felt so confused as to why I didn't feel 'normal' yet.
So at the time, I kept asking God why now, why me? And although I didn't know the answer for a long time, a year later it was crystal clear to me. He is my angel, the sweetest child of all of my kids and while he does have Lyme, he can read, he does well in school, but he does have some brain fog, heart pain (as he calls it), OCD, ect. I just cannot imagine not having him to wrap his little arms around me and say, "mommy I love you and you are the best mommy in the world" melts my heart every time.
We will start treatment when school gets out (we just found out he was positive early this month).
hshbmom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9478
posted
Devin, you are not damned. Your baby is not damned to a life plagued by Lyme either. You are blessed by God with this pregnancy...with this baby. God gives life.
May the Lord protect you and your baby during this trying time.
Posts: 1672 | From AL/WV/OH | Registered: Jun 2006
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Do not be afraid! God loves you and will bless you in His purpose for your life and the life of your child.
I am glad that other women who have gone through pregnancy with Lyme have reached out to support you. Also that you are getting assistance from the doctors who can best help you.
I am excited that you are reaching out to everyone here, and that you are in touch with God about this pregnancy. He will guide you!
While you would not have chosen this path, I do feel you are well equipped to deal with it. I also believe you will have the support that you need now and through the coming years.
Remember this, regardless of what path your life takes from here, God loves you beyond comprehension!! He will guide you and bless you.
Keeping you in prayer for showers of blessings for you all!!!
-------------------- Wishing You Showers Of Blessings! Lyme since Fall 1983 = Diagnosed Summer 2008 IV Rocephin 7 weeks Stopped due to drug fever Now doxycycline "For I know the plans I have for you...plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 430 | From Sunny South | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Now that I look back on my comment I it appears to me too cold. If so I apologize, maybe men shouldn't comment on this matter.
My opinion is God couldn't be involved with a child having this disease, I can't see God doing something so cruel, but it happens.
To me it is a terrible decision to have to make for nothing moves me more than to see children suffer.
I pray that whatever decision you make it brings you happiness.
Posts: 743 | From New York | Registered: Apr 2009
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Hoosiers51
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15759
posted
Thanks for all the posts.
I truly appreciate all of them.
And I truly appreciate all the prayers....please keep them coming, because I think they are helping!
(sorry if it is rude to ask for prayers so much...)
I have been trying to spend the past day or two just in a state of peace, trying to listen to my intuition and God. So I have been trying to get on the internet less, and just have more quiet time to let my heart speak to me.
This morning I stayed in bed really late. After I woke up, I just kind of laid there and stared at the walls, trying to peacefully reflect.
It was nice because no phones rang, it was so quiet. There was no one outside making noise. I am starting to feel more peaceful.
What I am trying to say is that I really think everyone's prayers are helping me, because since Saturday when I found out, I have felt like I can't think straight, but now I am finally feeling more clear-headed and open.
So thank you.
Today also I made an appointment with an Obstetrician for next Wednesday.
Posts: 4590 | From Midwest | Registered: Jun 2008
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Hugs to you Devin:)
You've been in my thoughts and prayers all week (and of course i'll keep you there). I'm so glad to hear that you are feeling a little better today. Prayers are powerful and you are loved!
Take care my sister and God bless you:)
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
hoos, thanks for posting your update on yourself, your thoughts, feelings, etc.
yes, you are STILL in my prayers.
please stop by my post started on iowa's alex, 16, paralyzed & on ventilator for last 2 yrs; she's in bad shape. thanks so much.
thinking of other's special needs helps to put things in perspective many times, and then we are glad for our own problems.
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Hi,Benny Hin is coming to indianapolis in june for a miracle service.
I want to be there myself,I went before and wow is it real.
You might go if you can.
MADDOG
Posts: 3996 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Oh Sweety <<<<< Devin/Hoosier >>>>>,
Just read this thread! TxC and I will both pray for you,hubby and baby!!!
I know you are afraid, at the same time,this is something precious and beautiful!
[ I miscarried repeatedly, way before I ever found out a out the Lyme and Co.,and then had to have a hysterectomy. I feel children are a gift and a treasure. ]
How ever things turn out, we'll be praying for you with love!!!
Creator, please send your ministering angels to Devin and her husband and baby. Please keep her in calmness and peace, and let your love and healing light shine on her,her forming baby and her husband.
Silverwolf
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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linky123
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19974
posted
Dear Hoosier/Devon,
I know this is a difficult time for you.
I have one child with lyme; he may have gotten it at birth or from tick bites later in life.
We're not sure.
I have another child who does not have it.
I had the disease through both pregnancies.
I can't imagine life without both my kids.
They have both brought such joy, the kind of joy you can't even imagine until you have them.
My son, the one with lyme, looked up and smiled at me the day he was born.
And no, it wasn't gas! The nurse was standing right there and saw it too.
It literally blew us both away.
She said, 'look he's smiling at you!' I have to say I wouldn't trade that moment for anything.
Or the thousands of other moments I've had with this child and my other one.
Life throws us some curve balls doesn't it? This disease is one of them.
But I have to say, it has brought me closer to God, because I have to let go and put my faith in Him.
That peace that passes all understanding is real. I will pray for you at this difficult time and it looks like you have a lot of others doing the same.
I am so thankful for this site, such great support.
Take care and God bless...'Come to me all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Mat 11:28
posted
I don't think it is rude at all to ask for Prayers and if they are helping you with a tough decision then why not ask?
Even the bible says to ask and you shall receive so do ask when you need to. Wishing you all the best and continued clear thoughts.
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livinlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3773
posted
Devin, I personlly would never change the fact I ahve two sons who have Lyme and were born with it.. They are blessings in every way..
Even when they are sick.. There are far worse illnesses and I can't believe I just said that .. but What I am trying to say God would not want you not to have a child becuase of this disease.. and who knows I still have hope that somewhere along the lines someone will find a cure.. I am still hoping for that cure.. I will not stop hoping for a cure.. and I just wish we could all stop treating this and find the CURE>>>
Children are a gift from God.. All I can SAY is congratulations and best wishes.. and if you find that your child has this blasted disease you have the upper hand becuase you know you can treat this and fight this and help them by educating them about the disease...
until of course SOmeone finds a CURE!!!
both of my sons have it and I would not have not wanted to have them just because of this blasted disease..
first thing I would want to change is that I wish this disease were gone and not a threat to anyone.. but to stop having babies because of it .. that would just be INSAINE! Best of luck to you and keep us all posted .. you can email me if you like [email protected] Linda D
-------------------- "Hatred paralyzes life; love releases it. Hatred confuses life; love harmonizes it. Hatred darkens life; love illuminates it." Posts: 1389 | From who knows, who cares, but somewhere over the rainbow | Registered: Mar 2003
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