Topic: For those of Faith, Advice Needed...please w/ Thanks and Appreciation
Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi <<<<< Lyme-r Family >>>>>,
This is a matter on a more serious note...
Because Lyme and Co', can mess w/ our brains and emotions... I sometimes find myself wanting to tell people off !!! And I am more sensitive than usual...but -somebody[s]- deeply hurt ,my loving caring devoted TxC [and yup me too]...
We all know that way too often folk will say really stupid things, ornery things, catty remarks etc., Sometimes that stupidity of remarks,orneriness,cattiness cuts...and deeper than we want it too...
I want to say something like : "... [general, not those here]You have not walked where we walked , you weren't left w/o job or housing, and left kicked around and bleeding [ figuratively ]...
...shame on you for trying to make us feel ashamed that we are not okay yet...".
God our Creator is our healer,and our solace, He disciplines us, rewarding us for the good...and lovingly showing us how to do better than the not so great things we sometimes say or do..."
And "...We did not criticize you ,when you were in pain,weak and vulnerable...we prayed and came along side you w/love and caring...".
Yet ,I feel they'd just get more catty...and get their feelings hurt...Sigh!!!
I am trying not to let the tongue lashings,and tsk-tsk-tskers get to me...I believe in walking in Love...w/ Christ Jesus as my example... I am also human...
Many of you have dealt w/ such things for a very very long time... I don't want to be stuck floundering in this morass... there are to many hills, mountains deserts, swamps,valleys...to be discovered,and experienced...so many things to be joyful about!!!
Any tho'ts/advice on how to cope,how/when to turn the other cheek-or not,when to confront or not too??? I plan to read,'weigh and pray',and try by the Word!!!
Thank You from: Silverwolfi-Swampthing-wanderer:)
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I'm a chicken. I rarely confront anyone. I just hate conflict.
Is someone giving you a hard time?
love and hugs to you!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
I just close doors to those people and isolate myself for the most part.
ONly going places that have proven to be safe places unless I am doing better than usual....then I will stick my toe in the water and see if it is too cold.
Sorry you are dealing with this along with everything else.
Some people are like sharks...
It is such a blessing to meet others who care, support, encourage and have compassion.
What a treat they are.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
Not able to read all the words on this due to vision being weird this am ...but wanted to pass this on for encouragement!
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Lymetoo, and kam >>>>>,
Thanks for hugs and prayers,and just being here!!!Kam the encouragement video is very timely,and very encouraging Thanks!!!
I keep, remembering,what a friend who went thru much heart ache says : "... Hurting people hurt people...".
May be that folk lash out at us, because they are hurting too...And I don't want to say the wrong thing and make it worse...
I like it peaceful when possible...I don't like conflict either.
Part of it is someone,wanting us to take a [*A]church job in a very toxic place,and hurt because we will not,we cannot!!!
I'm not all about the money, at all [ I don't think real ministry is about that ],
...at the same time,we need enough to make ends meet. It will not happen there,been there before...at it was very, very difficult.
I don't feel the Lord would have us go to a place where we get worse from stresses,and unsafe living quarters,
...and where sometimes even the food,is questionable as to safety !!![We were given spoiled food, and not realizing in time, I got ill from it,afterward we had to check most everything we didn't buy ourselves].
The individual[s] in question were not the culprit[s] as to food issues...but, I will not ask TxC to drive dangerous roads in winter,
... to listen to a difficult group argue[instead of trying to rightly divide the Word of God in love and honesty],and half the folk not show up... either [ we cannot/will not move back there]!!!
Toxic groups, are not on the list, for getting well,and keeping a wholesome outlook!!!
And sadly there is always a gossip or two around...our last [*B] Church job didn't go well. TxC and I had a 'flaw' called Physical ill health w/ ensuing limitations, on my part!!!
I know,now, after the fact,and after talking to regional directors,that it was another group of really troubled folk.
There are folk from both groups [*A,*B], TxC and I will always consider,family and friends...
Venting it out and looking at the issues,w/ perspective from others who are fighting chronic illness helps !!!
It isn't that I want to air 'dirty laundry',I know of others that have been thru as bad or worse issues than TxC and I ... we just are not in a place we can cope very easily w/ snide tsk tsk-ers...
and try to cope w/ physical problems,and layoffs,and grieving and etc...
I'll get back up and keep slogging thru swamps, and climbing the hills [er figuratively right now...].
Just needed some different perspectives...rather than give some folk a piece of my mind [I need it all right now LOL]!!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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i don't want to over simplify this....but just remember that not everyone is in touch with God's grace....when i find people like this all you can do is pray for the Good Lord to give you strenght and to impart his spirit into these lost souls....
this type of prayer is a nice way to exhale...and let it go....God doesn't want you wasting your time on them...but by praying you once again let Him do the heavy lifting...you focus on Him...and he'll focus on Them...so basicaly eve nin the worst of times you are living His Word.
of course you can just shout Serenity Now if you like...
Keep The Faith,
Dave
-------------------- On my journey to wellness - One day at a time. Posts: 989 | From NJ | Registered: Sep 2008
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< DaveNJ >>>>>,
Thanks for the kind words,and the humor too!!!
The part about "...just shout Serenity Now..." made me laugh outloud !!!
I love the exhaling prayer tho't...ask for strength ,give 'em to Him, then stay focused on Him...
That's Abiding in the Vine!!!
Sometimes we forget,or at least I do ,... that others may not have found the Lords grace as of yet,or perhaps they are in a different place in growth and walk w/ the Lord...than I am...and I still have so very very far to go myself!!!
We may have to wade thru some swamp-land ,or wander thru some desert terrain...but if we follow where He leads,even in the worst of times...we'll have His peace!!!
I needed that...Thanx!!!
Just Silverwolfi-Swamp-wanderin'Right now!!!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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bettyg
Unregistered
posted
bonny and txc,
so sorry to read about this on top of everything else.
i do not like conflict either; but dad's norwegian and mom's irish blood in me says to sound off WHEN NECESSARY too. ---------------------------------
be as kind as i can be but speak my piece, and then tell them i need avoid toxic people like them; it's better for my health. hugs
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
When I feel like telling someone off (that happens occasionally),
I usually respond to their ugliness by telling them
That it is too bad they feel the way the do.
How horrible it must be to feel that way.
Then I tell them that I will pray for them.
I usually then pray for them and myself.
I have to push past the anger....
I should note that I am not always successful.
Sometimes I just tell people that God doesn't like ugly.
I leave it at that.
Sending you prayers to keep all the Ugly away from you and hubby.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Betty' >>>>>,
Thanks for the kind tho'ts and hugs!!!
Among the mix in my background I'm Scots Irish,there is some Norse blood in the ancestery too,somewhere ,tho' I'm not sure what plays into what [Brother has been continuing Mommas work for fun!]
We are a stubborn mix of Brit,Scots-Irish,French,Holland Dutch,German, Scandinavian [also somewhere?] Cherokee, Shoshoni, a couple of Siuoxian tribes and who knows what all...
Good Ol' American Standard Mutts as an uncle used to say!!!
LOL I argue w/ myself, 'cause I don't want to be causing hurt feelings and arguments!!!
The situation I referred to, is difficult,we consider those involved friend[s]. They have their own battles going on...and I don't want to be embattled w/ them too!!!
I'm prayin' and trying to keep that grin-above-me chin in place !!! We cannot and will not do what those referred to want of us...
Ah well...slog along... It's getting better [gonna update on the Lay-off thread!]
Just Silverwolfi-Swampthing-wanderer...workin'on not getting swamped !!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Geneal >>>>>,
Thank You for the Prayers...we sure don't need more Ugly...and I believe prayer really does help!!!
I've always liked the saying God doesn't like ugly, and God didn't make ugly!!!
Been having to pray today... but I need it...helps me slog on thru the swamps to get where I'm to be!!!
TxC and I were feeling sorta down...but it is getting better!!!
Thanx again...Love from Silvwerwolfi-Swampthing-wanderer...finding the path thru the swamps!!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Hey Silverwolf,
I don't have any advice to share as i'm not good at dealing with conflicts and confrontations myself. I tend to crumble and cry when under stress. This is something that I need to work on.
When I read your post earlier today I thought to myself, it really sounds like you know how to handle these situations. Though they are difficult, the Spirit is guiding you.
Silverwolf, you know in your heart the difference between what you would like to say and what you should say. It sounds like you know all too well what it's like to be wounded by others careless words.
I'm praying that God will continue to provide for you and TxC healing, direction, all that you need to get through this extraordinarily difficult time.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Sammy >>>>>,
Thank You for the kind words and prayers !!!
I am still working on knowing in my head and heart and doing the correct thing!!!
I have to be careful,not to do the wrong thing...The Lord and I are working on My stubborn streak...LOL!!!
It's okay, to be tenacious and stubborn for a good reason, yes,but stubborn the wrong way, nope!!! I've ended up a shaking tearful mess when I let my tongue get the better of me!!!
So I figured, vent,pray,get some perspective from others wisdom and experiences!!! Try to keep my grin where it should be...and keep plodding on!!!
We've survived woundings before...but I want to overcome...w/ joy and love... long way to go...but I'm plodding on thru the swamps!!!
Jus' Silverwolfi-swampwanderer!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I find myself avoiding situations where I might
run into people I cannot handle.My daughter had
Lyme last year and some people were impossible
and very tacky. It made the whoe experience even
harder for her. I am happy that there are a
handful of folks who have been quite wonderful
to me. I try to focus on them and forget the
clueless ones.
Telling them off has its own set of problems,
but holding back just isn't good for a body. It
is very stressful. In the past someone told me
to write letters to folk I wanted to tell off,
but not mail them. It does get some things off
your chest.
This is how we would like to feel
This is how some people make us feel
This is how God feels about us
If this doesn't cheer you up then this may be a solution for those people
Take care of yourself. PB
Posts: 78 | From Maryland | Registered: Jun 2009
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Lymetoo, Opus',and PB4 >>>>>,
Thanks so much for kind words,hugs,prayers and encouragement!!!!
I had to come and get a fresh perspective,so I wouldn't say things I regret and make matters worse!!!
TxC and I are being reminded of how very much God cares for us,and for all !!!
We will bounce back,yet again... continuing to rely on the Lord, friends and family and each other!!!
I continue to remind myself that tho' all of us have similarities,we all come from different back grounds...
And just like I don't want folk Tsk-Tsk shamin' me cause I am still growing, so are they [most of the time]!!!
For those,who don't want to keep on trying and learning,and want to drag us into the pits while they wallow... I'm slowly leaning to walk away...so I don't get stuck being drained of life and hope!!!
Again,thanks so much to each replier for the kind encouragement!!!
Jus' Silverwolfi-Swampwanderer
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Praying for you and TxC.....
Hang in there. There is a reason for all of our experiences....you probably just haven't figured out yet why you must endure all of this.
You are strong and faithful so you will be ok.
God will reward you for dealing with these people in a good way instead of the way we would like to deal with them.
You are the ones who will reap the benefits of God's goodness.
Praying for you....
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Silver, i have had neighbors and friends talk about my husband...they have gone so far as to think he left me...and i'm that just saying he is sick...just because he can't leave the house and when we go to the DR they are working...it is very hurtful...but i believe the man man above will deal with nasty people..
hang in and i'll keep you in my prayers.. Madge
PS, next week we will have our 44th anniversary..i wonder if they can make it that long!!!!
-------------------- madgen Posts: 342 | From newjersey | Registered: Oct 2007
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Dekrator', and Madge >>>>>,
Thanks for the kind replies and prayers!!!!
We are learning many things lately, but still feel sorta slow on the learn the lessons bit!!!
Sometimes my mouth gets me in trouble,so I've been trying to keep a 'guard' on it...and walk in love !!!
<<<<< Madge >>>>> congratulations on your upcoming anniversary!!! Our 31st Anniv. is the 1st week of Nov.
You are right to let Creator Above take care of those trash gossiping neighbors !!!
I appreciate y'all and each replier!!!
***Gonna post a really cool update thread !!!***
Jus' Silverwolfi Swamp-and-Desert-wanderer
[of course now,if yer in the desert, and headed towards the hills...any suction like webbed stuff gets sorta gritty LOL!!!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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i saw that you had a better new come yoru way and its those kinds of things that will keep you strong. To believe in God is to not believe in coincedence....my illness has strengthen that idea.
The other thing about God and Grace is they are like a new car you want. Once you decide the brand and color next thing you know it seems thats all you see on the road.
Dave
-------------------- On my journey to wellness - One day at a time. Posts: 989 | From NJ | Registered: Sep 2008
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< DaveNJ >>>>>,
Thank You for Your reply !!! TxC and I don't believe in coincidences!!! To many things have happened to us!!!
So many times unusual events occurred,and people have looked at us saying 'God must have a reason for you to still be alive' !!!
Odd Car problems that should have killed us, DX's that are almost always cancers[ Drs.come out of surgery explaining we were 'lucky'], ours were not acancer issue... so many things happened!!! And the Lord was so gracious to us!!!
I get a bit down sometimes, and have to get my focus back on the Lord...TxC wants to write a book about our various experiences and maybe now is the time to start it!!!
I love the new car analogy too!!! I hope to take part in and share the grace,love and mercy of the Lord w/ others more and more!!!
May the Lord richly bless you,and each replier too!!!
Just Silverwolfi, wanderin' in His Grace even if I do have a bit of swamp-lichens and grit on my paws still LOL !!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
The car analogy was great and I enjoyed PB's Gremlins placed so appropriately!
What a great thread this has turned into!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Lymetoo >>>>>,
It has been a good venting session,and a great lesson!!!
Glad you mentioned PB's graemlin lesson!!!
Thank You <<<<< PB'>>>>> , I like for things to be all sunshine smiles, now weather-wise there is beauty at times in a storm...
But stormy relationships can be so difficult!!! God loves us and wants us to be loving ,
...yet sometimes,asking for his grace and strength to go thru it [instead of trying in our own strength, which tends to get me in trouble]...
we have to stand up for what is right and the best for us!!!
If the relationship is toxic and truly causing harm...sometimes it has to be flushed away...just as harmful toxic build up needs to be flushed out of our bodies!!!
Let it go...give it over to Creator...then keep on keeping on w/ the Focus on the Lord!!!
Hmmm... isn't there a car called a Focus? like a Ford or something?
For 'F-aith O-f R-eal D-imension [and D-epth]'... Focus on the Lord !!!!
I am fighting Lyme and Co-infection[s]...I have an illness...but it does not have me!!! Creator God holds my hand!!!
Jus' Silverwolfi trudging along thru swamp,and desert,sometimes in the hills !!!
[ Hmmm, swamp mire-clay... ceramics... , sand ... glass ... usefulness and beauty, from some tough things, properly heated, and cooled!!! ]
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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