janice victorov
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 22937
posted
I know I'm getting better but still have days like today where I feel awful.
I'm scared that I will never be totally well. Almost like a hopeless feeling of this is it? Being in pain sucks.!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I have never experienced such excrutiating pain before. It's somewhat better now. I'm back to work and it's better that I have something else to focus on.
Then of course is the awful medical bills which is almost killing me and my credit.
Help!! A sad day.
-------------------- jkv44 Posts: 1247 | From virginia | Registered: Oct 2009
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
I have always believed that any day I can wake up and be in the wonderful state of Virginia, it would be a good day.
And it always was.
I also have a wooden sign hanging in my kitchen that says..
"Make this the best day of your life."
I don't know if you will ever be totally well either... I do hope so.. but you don't want to miss out on what today can provide, waiting for hopes and dreams that may be a ways away.
janice victorov
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 22937
posted
Tincup, thanks for the encouragement. I really appreciate it.
Janice
-------------------- jkv44 Posts: 1247 | From virginia | Registered: Oct 2009
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Well, that's good... and a surprise too!
I really thought you'd tell me where to get off.
Guess not! Must be my lucky day!
You know I really want to kick people when they tell me to be happy when I am so miserable and in pain... and I am today, by the way.
My least favorite line I've had to endure over the years is....
"A herx is a good thing".
That can really set me off. Are they NUTS, I ask myself?
Uggggggggg!!!!!
And bills, ouuuuuu eeeeee... that can bring you down a lot.
I use to try to put it in perspective when I would feel overwhelmed.
For example- Dr. J use to take all the insurance letters/threats he would get trying to take care of his "children" and stick them up on his walls in his office... ignoring them completely.
Wow I say to that!
I watched MY kid one day. He opened the mail and there was an electric bill. He tossed it and the envelope in the trash... not bothering to save any of it "for his records".
When I questioned him he just simply said.. "it's paid, no need to dwell on it."
This he said to his mother.... who has saved every piece of mail and paper work generated over the past 40 years. I still have my first tax returns.. my first pay stub, etc.
Then there is Willie. No, not Willie Burgdorfer.
Willie Nelson.
The story goes.. and I have no clue if it is true or not.. but I also don't want to know....
One day while in a golf club he was getting a hard time and they wanted him to follow the rules. He, being Willie Nelson, of course, didn't like the rules or the hard time he was getting.
So he pulled out a check and bought the place... right there and then. That ended that!
Again, no idea if it is true.. but it has helped me through some rough times.
I do hope YOU can hang in there. You WILL feel better. I guarantee it!
posted
I'm not sure of your story and how long you have been treating but I can tell you it took 18 months of treatment before I could actually say to myself "hey, I can live the rest of my life feeling like this.....and I'm thankful I feel this good"
Posts: 561 | From mass | Registered: Jul 2007
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janice victorov
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 22937
posted
Thanks to all for those words especially today as I'm grappling with having to buy a new car as my current is about to kick the bucket.
I know I will get well and stay well. I have followed my drs orders to the t as well as diet.
To KS~my story is probably very similiar to many here. I was sick for about six months. Going from doctor to doctor and with no luck. My ribs got so sore and the fatigue was awful. I had to take a leave of absence from work. While on leave found a LLMD who literally saved me. I was diagnosed in july 2009 and have been on treatment almost four months. Feeling somewhat better except the horrible tendonitis in my hands. I'm sure everyone has had that pleasure.
The medical bills mainly the antibiotics which my HMO won't cover is awful. I'm switching to a PPO in Jan and my co-pays will be awesome. Maybe then I can stop worrying about the financial part of it as much.
I look forward to the days where my house doesn't smell like Bengay, and on every counter is twenty to thiirty bottles from meds and supplements.
Everyone here has been a godsend to me at a time that was so difficult. Knowing that others understand makes it seem somehow not as bad or alone.
-------------------- jkv44 Posts: 1247 | From virginia | Registered: Oct 2009
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posted
I want you to know things will get better it may take time which right now isnt what anyone wants to here including me. But after 8 years of dealing with this mess i did get better.
Was i back to what i use to be no. I think you for some we have to lower the bar as to what is normal for us. My normal is to be able to just do everyday things with out hurting or being sick. I did have to learn to pace myself i did not have the stamina to do what i use to. If i didnt i paid. But the point is you will get better.
I have come out of remmission. But i have that 6 year period to hold on to. I have to look at that rather than the 8 years i was ill. Not easy to do most days.
I stay on the computer because right now thats all i have to keep my mind busy. I lay down and play it. I have to keep my mind busy or i would definatly be depressed for sure.
Feel better and hold on to the hope it will get better.
Posts: 112 | From Ohio | Registered: Aug 2006
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