Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
She is no longer listed as a member...I find it hard to believe she was banned....so that leads me to believe she may be one of the new moderators who chose to go incognito?
I dont' see anyone else asking about this, is it the big elephant in the room or am I missing something?
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
Betty has left the board, she is not a moderator. She was unhappy with the tone of posts directed at her and the actions of the new moderators. But rather than continually complain or cause strife, she removed herself.
I feel her loss has been tremendous. I can honestly say that I'm not sure my family would be well without her.
I see posts way down in the list with zero reponses, she would have responded.
I see posts by clueless newbies without a welcome post in their thread and although her welcome post was looooong, it was kind and comprehensive.
I see posts that are huge blocks of text and no one is breaking them up or explaining to the poster that short paragraphs with lots of white space are easier on the eye.
I truly believe that fewer people will get the help and insight they need from lymenet because she is not with us here.
It would take ten of us to make one Betty G.
Posts: 524 | From Hudson Valley, NY | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
thank you so much...you are right on...Betty G was the Best of Lymenet....it won't be the same...
you are soooo missed Miss Betty G...
thank you soooo much for all your help....
i will miss your kindness and knowledge here...
Mande
-------------------- madgen Posts: 342 | From newjersey | Registered: Oct 2007
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lou4656
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 10300
posted
"I truly believe that fewer people will get the help and insight they need from lymenet because she is not with us here."
I couldn't agree more!
-------------------- LouLou Posts: 1276 | From maryland | Registered: Oct 2006
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2roads
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4409
posted
I feel so sad about loosing Betty to the board....
and a bit angry at those that contributrd to her leaving.
If you know who you are, you had better get your act together, because we can't afford to lose the love and kindness and guidance of people like Betty....and there aint alot of'em.
I pray she reconsiders and comes back. She is a senior member of this family and belongs here to be given upmost respect, courteousness....yeah, and some love in return.
Ditto to all that was prior said, especially catskill.
2roads
Posts: 2214 | From West Chester, PA | Registered: Aug 2003
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
It is our understanding that Bettyg is taking a break from the board. We all appreciate all that she did, and if she needs a break, she certainly deserves one. I think all of us who have been here any length of time have taken a break at one point or another.
Thank you for your concern, Tracy.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
Ditto what catskillmamala said!!
I couldn't have said it better.
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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ping
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6974
posted
quote:Originally posted by joalo: Ditto what catskillmamala said!!
I couldn't have said it better.
Me too. There have been numerous times when bettyg was the first person to post to my thread and ask about my welfare. She's the best traffic cop in the business.
bettyg, if you're reading this, please reconsider and come back after the Holidays; it's such a stressful time of year. I think we get stressed out and possibly don't realize where all the pressure is coming from. My Lyme friends keep phoning me and the story is the same: "It's that I can't participate in ways that I used to do. Cooking, shopping, family and friends. I'm tired and there's nothing I can do and they don't understand..." Everyone is very frustrated and emotionally challenged to the edge of sanity.
Rest for now and have a wonderful Turkey and Tree!
ping "We are more than containers for Lyme"
-------------------- ping "We are more than containers for Lyme" Posts: 1302 | From Back in TX again | Registered: Mar 2005
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Betty's goodbye post was removed and she was banned, actually. She is no longer able to post anything.
She has shared the details with me and is sad that her thoughts were taken down so soon after she posted.
There was some very harsh treatment of Betty that was not fully addressed and she felt she had to leave. But she did not expect her goodbye letter (and her request to have the bullying to be adequately corrected) to get her banned.
She and I email now and then and I will let her know that she is missed. -
[ 11-24-2009, 05:56 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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feelfit
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12770
posted
Thanks for the truth Keebler. I saw betty's 'goodbye' letter and felt terrible for her.
We are all different people. It is our intentions that matter. And whether or not some did not like Betty's long welcomes, or her policing....I don't think that there was EVER any malice in Betty's intentions.
This board meant a lot to her and I am sure she is hurting. So Betty, all of that is for you in case you're around here and reading.
Feelfit
Posts: 3975 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2007
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posted
BettyG was often the first person to take action here with new people, let alone any of her responses to the regulars and also her activism postings, which I always found valuable.
I hope she comes back here after the break.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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ping
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6974
posted
Speaking of Newbies...HELP! Many are slipping thru the cracks.
I miss you bettyg-baby.
-------------------- ping "We are more than containers for Lyme" Posts: 1302 | From Back in TX again | Registered: Mar 2005
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Messages left here cannot be read by Betty.
I passed along the good wishes to her via email and gave her the link. She asked me to convey a thank you and explanation of her inability to read your posts because of having been totally banned from the site:
"No longer even having the ability to VIEW the board in any manner - and no access to any of over 31,000 posts or lists of links" that she provided -
She wants to make it clear that she's ``NOT taking a break; left LymeNet for GOOD!!''
``please thank everyone for their very kind comments and their missing me; it does help knowing I MADE A DIFFERENCE.
posted
Why don't the moderators explain to us why all her explanation was deleted! This should be public info...things just keep getting worse here, all the long time members are leaving for a reason. I think it's ridiculous that a member cannot access his/her posts. She made them, she has a right to see them to help others. If she told us why she left, why can't we see that? Betty was a long time valuable member...you might all not agree with some of the way she did things but she did try to help, and she deserves respect. The patients are the ones suffering here! Explanation please!
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glm1111
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 16556
posted
I just moved into a new apt and experienced some adrenal exhaustion so haven't been able to post. Betty was a very valuable member and contributor here to many.
I just find it very upsetting that she was banned for expressing her opinions about how she was treated. Betty was very efficient and an organizer in keeping this board in order to help people navigate and be able to read.
I think that when she did that it was misconstrued as being bossy. She made order out of choas. I am very sad to see her go. Another VERY VALUABLE member lost who made a difference.
Gael
-------------------- PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS* Posts: 6418 | From philadelphia pa | Registered: Jul 2008
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i don't have a clue as to what happened and didn't read any posts. guess they were deleted before i saw them.
i agree. i may not have agreed with some of her methods but she was a member of this board and a very long standing one, surely some explanation would be helpful.
it would put to rest any speculations.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
If Betty's post was not deleted, that would be a double standard. She demanded I remove posts that bashed her (obviously, I would not intentionally leave a post up that bashed another member), but her "Goodbye" post went on to bash members, as well as moderators.
So, that is why it was removed. Rules apply to everyone. Also, disrespecting the moderators is not tolerated.
And please keep in mind that you only know one side of the story. The moderators and myself see all sides.
In any disagreement, it's easy for someone to paint a great picture in their defense for all to see, in an effort to get you on their side. Moderators have to see beyond that and make tough decisions.
Members who are banned, I believe, can still be able to view the forums, but can't log in to do so.
Betty requested time away from the board, so we hope she is enjoying her down time and looking forward to the happy holiday season ahead.
-------------------- Jenifer Stolow LymeNet.Org Webmaster Posts: 320 | From Upstate New York, USA | Registered: Feb 2001
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I have not cried from the heart in a long time,but the loss of Betty is too much. I am so sorry for you Betty,you do not deserve such treatment,for giving so much of yourself.
I am equally sorry for all of us, and the loss of your great value, and knowledge.
There will be a hole here that can not be filled.
And honestly, it makes me not want to be here anymore.
What has happened to all of us on this board, that this can happen? We are family,and friends, when others have abandoned us with lack of understanding.
What happened to the respect we had for each other,even in disagreements.
We are all different, but we used to be united by such a huge common cause, and life stealing disease.
What happenes to our kindness towards each other,even though we were all facing the biggest challenge of our lives?
What happened to us? Where did my best friends go?
Posts: 261 | From Piedmont | Registered: May 2008
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posted
I'm really shocked that her goodbye was deleted. I never saw it either.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
jennifer, thank you for the explanation.
yours is a tireless and often painful job. such is evidence by this latest episode.
i'm sorry you have to go through this.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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WildCondor
Unregistered
posted
Thanks Jenifer,
So it was deleted because Betty G bashed the moderators and other posters. That makes some sense. I have seen posts deleted for no good reason however, so she does have a point. Was there content in the post besides bashing? Betty was helping me organize all of these links and now she is gone...so I cannot do this alone. Everyone is gone who was helping. I need a vacation too.
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- What was perceived as bashing was really someone who had been bashed asking that all the slams at her be deleted. She just wanted to be heard.
It was a very complex series of communications back and forth with finally, the bullies saying "well, we WERE nice."
It would have been hard for anyone to keep up with the dizzying manner in which comments were slung but I know - because I read all of it - that Betty's criticism was directly related to the manner in which she had been treated.
And that had not been resolved, even in many emails back and forth between a couple moderators. It's the emails that probably tipped the scales. She never felt heard and the emails tried to spell it all out but it just got too complicated. She also was not addressed very kindly in emails and then the volume increased.
She was hurt and angry and did "raise her voice" and that was perceived as disrespectful. As for her bashing, she was simply pointing out inconsistencies and where insults remained that were hurtful to her.
But that was so much to sort through - for anyone. The fire had to be put out as fast as it could.
In the end, bullies will always have passive aggressive tactics and wrap their barbs in syrupy compliments all the while declaring how very nice they are and how much they really love someone. But the wounds from these barbs run deep. And the terrain changes.
Bottom line: there was a struggle of power and Betty lost because of complications and because she asked posters to post so that all could read and some just didn't like her asking for that. That started it. It was not the request but the attitude of those wanting to smash her and her finally standing up against them.
I read all the emails back and forth and this is my perception.
She helped many here and LymeNet will be poorer in her absence. But she may be better off for it's really hard to know just when the bullies will strike out again. Maybe that's human nature but who needs that?
If we can stick to the matter at hand - helping others - LymeNet might still have a chance.
posted
I read the post, and responded. I didn't see anything as bashing. Maybe people were being too sensitive (lyme does that to us, no?)
I am a moderator on many boards and lists, and didn't see anything but the mods cya-ing by deleting her message. I know some people cut and paste and post the messages on this board publicly elsewhere on blogs. I thought to myself perhaps this was one they would be deleting and maybe i should have saved it....
I have not been here long, but it seems there is always a "I am leaving post."
"Supposedly," there is a lot of GREAT information here. But, this forum has not been the one that helped me as greatly as others.
sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
Betty should have no problems reading the board. Anyone can read it without signing in, they just cannot post. I read it for weeks prior to joining.
Keebler, I was never unkind to Betty and I wrote several of the emails you are referring to. I resent the implications. I even posted a sticky in seeking a doctor to help make things easier for all involved and edited it to add suggestions made by two different members. You make it sound like we moderators did nothing to accommodate Betty, when in fact, we tried to reach agreement with her.
I will not publicly discuss what the problem was. I don't publicly say negative things about people. You say that in the end Betty lost a "power struggle", the truth is, in the end, it's the webmaster who has the power. We spent many, many hours of our time trying to come to a compromise with Betty. She chose to leave and announced it on the board. That was the end of the compromising. We did not give up on her.
I do hope that at some time in the future she comes back to the board.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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2roads
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4409
posted
How is that done?
Does she just log on as someone new?
How do you go about coming back to the board once you have been banned?
I think we all need to understand that. I feel like I'm treading in shallow water expressing my feelings.
I would like to know what the options are?
I did not fight your fight, but I cannot imagine losing what she offered for much more then alot of hell....but that's just me.
2roads
Posts: 2214 | From West Chester, PA | Registered: Aug 2003
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Sixgoofykids,
Betty can't read the board. For some reason, her computer will not connect to this site.
Sorry if you thought I meant you with the emails. In no way did I mean you. It is not you to whom I was referring. There were others - many others from many different people. I named no names on purpose. It would serve no need. Everyone knows if they've been nice or not.
The power struggle I was describing was between posters - that is want escalated it and it just blew up into a big mess. I do wish it could have been handled better but it was chaos and I would run screaming into the jungle to escape it, for sure.
SGK, You are one of the ones who have maintained a professional demeanor around all this and your welcome note in "seeking" does incorporate Betty's suggestions.
That request made sense and it's good to see that mentioned.
It was probably not so much that it alone was the fight, but that it was used as a springboard for some who just didn't like this or that about someone. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
She'll be back someday hopefully. She's a Lyme activist. Time heals wounds. They all return eventually. I hope she enjoys her time off. This board really can be a soap opera at times.
Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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lymemomtooo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5396
posted
WE may not know everything that happened but from all that I have seen, Betty is a strong asset to this board and I hope those who are in POWER will find it in their hearts to reconsider.
I became a member a little before Betty, but she has many thousands of messages. She is always trying to help and save lives. That must be considered.
My lymie has once again become a danger to herself and Betty is even helping me while off this board..
Everyone doesnt always agree with her methods but her heart is better than most and she will help until her last breath if possible.
Again, please reconsider. lymemomtooo
Posts: 2360 | From SE PA | Registered: Mar 2004
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seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
Lymemomtoo, you have 38,000+ posts more to catch up to BettyG. Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Betty' >>>>>,
I miss you,and hope you can come back someday!!!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
quote:Originally posted by Keebler: - Sixgoofykids,
Betty can't read the board. For some reason, her computer will not connect to this site.
Sorry if you thought I meant you with the emails. In no way did I mean you. It is not you to whom I was referring. There were others - many others from many different people. I named no names on purpose. It would serve no need. Everyone knows if they've been nice or not.
The power struggle I was describing was between posters - that is want escalated it and it just blew up into a big mess. I do wish it could have been handled better but it was chaos and I would run screaming into the jungle to escape it, for sure.
SGK, You are one of the ones who have maintained a professional demeanor around all this and your welcome note in "seeking" does incorporate Betty's suggestions.
That request made sense and it's good to see that mentioned.
It was probably not so much that it alone was the fight, but that it was used as a springboard for some who just didn't like this or that about someone. -
Thanks, Keebler. I *thought* you probably meant it this way but that is only because I have read all the emails that were exchanged. I agree that it is best to keep names out of it, but when you do, it can make some look bad who were not. The struggle was between posters and we were "moderating," but in your post that wasn't clear. Thank you for clearing that up now to the others who are reading who have not read all the correspondence.
That is strange that Betty's computer cannot connect to the site. There is nothing we can do on our end to do that, the admin can make it so people can't post. On our end, this is temporary until things calm down. On Betty's end, I don't know. Hopefully, she will reconsider.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Wasn't able to read what others post. Just responding to the question.
In my minds eye Betty is off on a much needed cruise and vacation.
In another world other than the lyme world.
Not even thinking about us because she is having so much fun living her life.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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springshowers
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19863
posted
There are always two sides to every story. Its too bad that there could not be a compromise made. That is all I think anyone .. wanted.
I think everyone has value.
I have seen lots of good things from her and I have seen some not so good things.
It is really up to the moderators. I think we really have to just trust they know things that the rest of us do not and they did their jobs.
I also think they DO NOT HAVE TO and even SHOULD NOT post the specifics here. It is not nor should be public knowledge.
It is between her and the forum. And that is it. The forum and moderators in my mind are breaking confidentiality if they post specifics.
IF I got banned I surely would not think I would have to worry about the moderators going on and telling everyone why I was banned and specifics that are not something I already disclosed on the board.
I think the that curiousity is normal but that it is not our business really...
I know she is active on other boards as well using the same screen name....she was quite active and I am sure will remain so..
Posts: 2747 | From Unites States Of America | Registered: Apr 2009
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seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
I want moderator power for a day just to know the excitement of hitting the giant delete button. Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
Thank you, springshowers, that is correct, we should not be revealing what happened. Everything that has been revealed has been revealed by people BettyG has spoken to.
Seek, it's just like your delete button but we can edit anyone's post .... it's not an exciting, giant delete button! And you can't delete without taking all the rest of the job. Haha.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
We have lost other lyme activists on this board who never came back. Thinking of Californialyme, Cave76, Joe Ham, and others. I always hate to see the oldtimers leave as they have a lot of institutional memory and we need them to balance all the newbies who show up lost and helpless.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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WildCondor
Unregistered
posted
Exactly Lou...I have one foot out the door too....it's really a bad situation. Newbies helping newbies. I wish things would be fixed, really badly. I have too many emails from people begging me to stay so what to do!!! Ahhh!
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Well said, spring showers, and thank you for answering my questions, sixgoofykids.
As a moderator on another board, I will say when things get very heated, I have had to ban members when they are about to leave because when they are very angry, they will sometimes make a damaging grand exit that is hurtful to all the other members.
I am in no way saying Betty was going to do that, but I have seen it happen and therefore sometimes it becomes prudent to ban someone when you know they are heating up and planning to leave anyway.
I honestly had no idea what happened, and was just wondering where she went! Thanks for answering. Sounds like it was handled very fairly, and that she will be welcome back after a cooling off period.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
Six, I think you're doing a good job - honest, balanced, and gentle with folks. Even tho you've volunteered to moderate, which can be a tough job, everyone still needs people with good heart. Maybe you should call yourself SixGoofyKidsPlusZillionsMore...
CaliforniaLyme was not banned. She left because she was being harassed in her personal life.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
I don't know Cave76, but after the stuff I read this poster put on LNE, I'm shocked there's any regret Absolute ruthlessness and attacks on many.
quote:Originally posted by lou: We have lost other lyme activists on this board who never came back. Thinking of Californialyme, Cave76, Joe Ham, and others. I always hate to see the oldtimers leave as they have a lot of institutional memory and we need them to balance all the newbies who show up lost and helpless.
Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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Ocean
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 3496
posted
Wow! I am in shock! I didn't know any of this went on!!
I too had become friends with Betty and I am so sad that she is gone...she was an asset to the site and to newcomers...she helped me several times with lists of doctors and their numbers...I can't imagine how upset she probably is with all of the thousands of hours spent trying to help people.
Betty...I hope you have a wonderful holiday season and that somehow you are able to come back to Lyme.net if you are able.
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