posted
Thanks to Lymetoo & bettyG for my start up information...Life savers!! Still treating & probably a long road but don't feel like I'm dying like I was! You all keep writing & I'll keep reading.
In Colorado for the holidays!! Can I freeze those little boogers out?
Posts: 75 | From Missouri | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
MADDOG, Bettyg left. She was only banned to stop her from airing her grievances any longer after she announced she was leaving. There was no "unpardonable sin" in this case.
Typically, what's unpardonable is not stopping something after being warned a reasonable number of times by moderators.
Spam and porn are obviously also unpardonable.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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pamoisondelune
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11846
posted
How can you ban such an important member? It doesn't seem right. What's wrong with airing her grievances? Can't someone put up with something?
---Polly Polygonum
Posts: 1226 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Tincup,
Betty did not, as you state, "leave in a huff when she felt things weren't going her way" - she fought bullying and got banned for that fight.
I'm sure you are aware that a thread started by you (along with sharp posts of two others, continuing on and on) was the main reason Betty responded as she did. She felt attacked with a campaign to banish her from replying to newcomers. That campaign started from your thread sayiing: "can we tell these people that we" and paraphrased: [basically don't appreciate they way they post and we want to do things differently] ?
That thread was directed directly to Betty for no other reason than to make her leave.
She never received an apology and some insults or misrepresentations of her remained. Some were deleted but there were still plenty of disparaging comments about her or her style. It was very unprofessional were this to have been a business site but so very sad considering how much she poured her heart into her work to help others here.
She only lashed out after she had been attacked. Sad how it all happened and I'm not even sure the three main repeat attackers - and a few others - who caused this even are aware of the hurt they caused. Each one kept it up, alternating with "but we ARE being nice" comments interspersed.
Betty says she will never return here and I understand why. There's no room or time for such personal bashing. This was not just one time but a series of times over many months. There was a small but vile group taking swipes at Betty every so often.
Beyond rude, these few posters have indeed been cruel, only to surface with broad and insincere statements about how we should all get along - but out of the other side of their face. Saying you hope someone will just calm down after being attacked further dismisses the seriousness of the abuse.
She is happier helping out at another site. I just hope that we can all appreciate how harsh criticism can do such harm. So people have different styles, so what?
But all that is done. And we move on. Hopefully, more mature.
But much of value has been lost due to bullying. For anyone to say that she left " in a huff when she felt things weren't going her way" is continued bullying in light of all the explanations that went on with all that.
It was not that at all. She bent over backwards to change her style to accommodate her critics. The reason for her leaving - and the raised voice that led to her being banned involved much more, indeed. It was all about being bullied by 3 - 5 posters here - and her standing up to that.
Saying that she left "in a huff when she felt things weren't going her way" perpetuates the bullying and continues to paint her in the wrong light. -
[ 12-26-2009, 08:17 PM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Ouch,wish I wouldent have ask!!
I have a different kind of a outlook on life than most people.
It comes from being hurt so many times.
If I am shure i am right about something,I state my point of vieue.
If other people are not smart enuf to get it,I don't say a thing!
I leave them in ignorance!!
Simple isn't it!
MADDOG
Posts: 4000 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
well i ain't joining this discussion.
jus saying
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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springshowers
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19863
posted
Sometimes Friends want to protect their friends even when their friends make mistakes.
Sometimes Friends do not see the reality of situations around their friend because.. just because that is what friends do a lot of the time.. is stick by their friends side.
Sometimes Friends feel obligated to defend or stand up for their friend when their friend is upset or angry to help them feel better.
Its not a bad thing to do for a friend..
Until You cross the line and try to hurt others in the process.
Posts: 2747 | From Unites States Of America | Registered: Apr 2009
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
peace on earth, good will to all..
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Tincup, thank you for taking the time to say that all so clearly and comprehensively. I found it very helpful.
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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posted
I miss Betty G's work here.
Posts: 524 | From Hudson Valley, NY | Registered: Jul 2007
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i wasn't going to jump in but now i will!! got my dander up. don't go blaming tin for all this, ain't right.
everyone works here. the moderators do a great job and i've been called on the carpet too. i didn't really understand why, buy hey, ok. they had their reasons and that's good enuff for me.
if you'll go to the other site, you'll see she's doing the exact same thing -- telling people how to post and correcting them, etc., and i suspect just a tad that eventually somebody is going to get po'd about it.
i'm with tincup. it was her choice to leave.
we've all been in the principal's office.
this was not HER board and no one should dictate to everyone how to post their messages. and let's not forget that some people did leave because of the constant criticism on how to do things.
hey, things evolve and this is just another change.
i think we're better and stronger for it.
and my god, newbies can now come and not get discouraged the very very first time they post.
let's just move on and let go....
divorces happen and maybe it was time.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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