randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
you know i'm sick and spent a day and night in the er with this gastro crap.
so his friends called today and invited us to go eat christmas pot roast with them and he told them "oh no i cna't go. she had another hypochrondria attack and can't eat." his so-called friend said something and he said "well you know i have to live with this, it's her hobby. she had to visit her gastro cause she hadn't seen him this year."
and then all hell broke loose. i started yelling. me -- yelling, now that's a hoot. i told him to get out of the house and go, let me watch hsn by myself. i said look i've got the ct scan results, what more do you want? and he said (get this), oh anybody can have a result like that. you're alive aren't you?
and then he says "well nancy is cooking and you know it's going to be bad and i couldn't say so". i told him "so you use me as an excuse, that's --itty.".
i am so angry and then i'm ready to cry and i miss my mom and i can't eat....
___it.....i feel like scrooge which is what i'm watching. "if they're going to die, then let them do it and decrease the surface population."
gggrrrr...
he's leaving saturday again to go hunting and i don't care how sick i am, i'm going shopping!!!
it sounds horrible but i almost wish he would get seriously sick, i mean, really ill and then let's see how it feels. egads, that's bad.
i hope 2010 is a lot better....
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Hi Randibear. Merry Christmas. I am so sorry you are having so many troubles. If it's any consolation so am I. My wonderful (usually) husband allowed his crafty old mother to "invite" herself to Christmas at our son's house today. He did not tell me until he left to go get her at the train station.
I was so furious I said I wouldn't go at all. I then got a migraine. Wonderful, huh? So I know how you feel. Sometimes people can be so insensitive to how difficult it is for us to just get through the day.
I am so darned sick. My presents aren't wrapped. I had counted on him to help me. My grandchildren called and want me with them. So I dragged myself out of bed. I have to go. My son said to just leave her at the motel and then get her tonight. So I guess that's what we'll do.
My sons are mad at him, too. I am angry that he did not tell me until after the fact. I thought we were a team, but I guess not.
Your husband sounds most unsupportive. Is there someone else you can call to be with you today? If not, just go to bed with a good movie. That's what I do when I feel terrible. It helps me forget how awful I feel.
Well I must go. The kids are waiting for me. Sigh. I'll be thinking of you. Take care of yourself. You're not alone!
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Randibear...giving him time out of the house was a good idea.
Hoping he will come back with a different attitude and a better choice of words.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
I have a few words for him,,,,none of which I can print here!!!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
that's ok don,hon, just pm me. lol....
believe me, with my military family background i've run out of words too. dad always said i could swear like a sailor, but sadly, words fail me now.
i'll borrow some of yours...
"the more i know men, the more i love my dog"...
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Merry Christmas Randibear...I am so sorry you are dealing with this. It's disgusting actually and makes me want to use a few choice words and direct them at him. Some people just will never get it.
Again, I am thinking of you and am sorry you are dealing with this situation. You do not deserve this.
-------------------- Never, Never, Never give up! Posts: 395 | From Connecticut | Registered: Nov 2008
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I am so sorry for what you're going through...even though this is suppose to be the "most wonderful time of the year" so often it can end up being the worse..and bringing the worse out in people.
It is especially sad that even the ones closest to us dont "get it".
I hope it brings a little comfort to know that there IS people out here that DO know what you're going through and DO KNOW YOU'RE NOT CRAZY and NOT a hypochrondric.
PLEASE, try to take a deep breath and regroup. No matter what we think....often others will NEVER understand what "we lymies" go through....
Kinda reminds you of the leapers in a way..huh.
I will say a special prayer for you and ALL those out there that are going through what you are and for the ones that are sick and/or alone today.
I hope and pray your 2010 will be a much better year. You sound like such a lovely person.
Try to curl up and watch a good "chick flick".... and remember hopefully this is just a 'battle' you're losing NOT the war.
I believe in my heart this time next year, you'll be better and yoy'll be the one giving someone else support (:
and to Farraday,
don't worry bout the presents...
just go see your children, grandchildren....let your son and/or his wife wrap them for you and enjoy being with the grandchildren...
isn't that what Christmas is all about anyway...
Try "killing" the mother in law with kindness...God WILL be so proud of YOU!! (:
Good luck
P.S. if he had to go pick her up at the train station that must mean she doesn't live next door to you??!!!!
Haey, so look on the bright side..when this is over YOU get to send her on the train BACK home...yaa hoo
Posts: 423 | From Virginia | Registered: Nov 2009
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Starfall1969
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 17353
posted
randibear,
I am so sorry you have to deal with this, and on Christmas too. I hope his time out of the house wises him up.
I'm so sorry for anyone who has to deal with this crap on Christmas.
I'm on the downside today too, physically, and I haven't said anything to hubby about it--we're leaving for vacation tomorrow even though all I want to do is stay home and sleep till this whatever passes.
Had some kind of issue with our water last night, both of us were half sick half the night, and this morning my neuro sx and head pain are through the roof.
That and my stomach is way off--feel hungry but food makes me sick.
Afraid to say anything to hubby because I don't want to risk him getting upset--he's not bad, but he stresses over dumb little things, and this might set him off.
Oh, God, can I just vent here that he had my gifts numbered in the order I was to open them? And then he misnumbered them, so he was all beside himself for a while.
You know, that kind of thing. OCD stuff. Oy.
Anyway, hope things get better for you, randibear. And I hope he chokes on the pot roast.
Posts: 1682 | From Dillsburg, PA | Registered: Sep 2008
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
randibear, I'm going to be blunt here....you husband seems to be a toxic person. I would wonder if one could get well living with someone like that?
Another idea is to encourage your spouse to go and participate in life sometimes without you (the sick partner). They can become resentful.
Remember until you've walked in someone else's shoes, it's hard to understand.
PS, that line was intended for your husband who is healthy and living his life. He can't understand your pain.
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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Where can I buy a bear trap?
Posts: 212 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Jul 2009
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WildCondor
Unregistered
posted
Good grief Randibear!
I think the bear trap is a splendid idea in light of this. I would not put up with that bs ever, I would get out of that negative relationship if you can, its not good for you!
Anyway...um..so..here is some more c.diff and GI info. Hope it helps some.
Roast bear is indeed delicious in case anyone was interested.
posted
I'm so sorry you have such an unsupportive spouse, randibear. I agree with map about him being toxic to you and that his actions could be detrimental to your recovery. I wish you could just get away from him but I know this wouldn't be easy either.
I also agree with the bear trap idea.
"well nancy is cooking and you know it's going to be bad and i couldn't say so"
Boy would I be tempted to give those friends a call and let them know hubby's REAL reason for not going.
Posts: 423 | From Upstate NY | Registered: May 2009
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Assuming you've told him to knock it off. Assuming you are not receiving his passing insults - don't let them stick - don't even accept them . . . It's not easy to do but just don't accept it. That is disarming.
Change the locks.
Move without a forwarding address.
Paul Simon had some good advice that still stands all these years later.
Enjoy life on your own terms. Really, there are some fabulous people in the world. Expand horizons, even if quietly with a new hobby group, etc.
Life can be better, really.
Here's great hope for a new actions in the new decade, moving forward with a new way of living - with love and respect. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Randibear Sis' >>>>>,
Finally back on line,Computers been in the shop...
Sorry your hubby's been being such a creep again...
Just letting you know we are praying for you,and hoping you feel better quickly !!!
I have to agree that your hubby really is being toxic...not good for you!!!
Love from Silverwolfi'Sis'
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Thanks, Karen. I did go and the children were happy to see me. My daughter in law nearly killed my husband for dragging his mother there and then falling asleep to let her deal with the woman.
But,for laughs, his mother pulled her usual stunts of "losing" her wallet and needing him to drive her the 4+ hour drive home! She pointed out that I looked much too good to be sick! Where have we heard that before???
And to credit my husband, he found her wallet where she had stashed it and firmly put her on the train! He told her he had to go pick up meds for me, which he did.
I spent most of the day lying on my grandaughter's bed so it wasn't too bad. But it's amazing how people refuse to acknowledge our illness. My husband points out that DNA does not lie! Nor do brain scans, psych testing, etc.
Randibear, I hope you are getting some peace and quiet and thinking things over. You really do need a positive environment to get well. Maybe the hunting trip will mellow things out. Keep us posted.
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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julielynne4
Unregistered
posted
Hi Randibear, I am so sorry for what you go through with your husband. It is hard enough to get rest and get well with this disease when there is support. I agree that this seems quite toxic.
How long have you been married? None of my business, just curious. Do you see yourself staying with him? Is he open to counseling?
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Siciliano
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15920
posted
I would rather be alone and happy than to be sick with someone else.
Leaving things like this.....one will NEVER get better.
-------------------- I'm sorry but I am no longer accepting any private messages due to my own battle with lyme. Posts: 3897 | From New Hampshire | Registered: Jun 2008
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
randibear,
So sorry that you are going through this.
How are you doing????
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
well let's see, yesterday i absolutely cried all day. i mean out of it hysteria type down in the dumps bad depression.
today for the first time in a week, i only had one small bit of diahhrea and the pain has lessened considerably.
THANK GOD!!!!!
mike got home early as he heard that we have another storm coming in. at least when he's home i can get some sleep. even with ambien i'm so afraid i don't sleep when he's gone. so now i will.
i'm praying that this will cure both the c. diff and the diverticulitis. hope i never have to go through this again.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I can't sleep when my husband is gone either. We had an alarm system installed after I encountered a burglar carrying out our TV one morning! That helps a bit, but I am still very anxious when he is gone.
I think some of it has to do with my mind being in such a state of confusion. I don't think well and can't remember much....just confusion.
I must tell you, Randi, that I DID leave my first husband many years ago. And it was mostly because of his constant negativity. It destroyed our relationship and our children. So I packed up two little boys, ages 3 and 5 and took them 3000 miles away to California where I knew no one.
I found day care, I got a job and my own little apartment. I was in Heaven!!! And so were my kids. We were happy and mostly stress free. That was probably the best decision I ever made. Both boys have thanked me several times for my courage.
I kept in contact with their father and allowed them to visit him in the summer. We worked together for the sake of the kids. They both turned out very well and my older boy (man now) is a wonderful father!
It was a very tough decision. But I doubt that my kids would have turned out so well had I not made it. And I would have been sick much sooner.
PM me if you want to talk. I can certainly identify with your pain!
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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seekhelp
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 15067
posted
No person/situation is worth that hassle. Posts: 7545 | From The 5th Dimension - The Twilight Zone | Registered: Mar 2008
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