posted
We wanted a second baby, but 3 1/2 years of treatment have passed and I turn 40 in March. I know not to have one while lyme is considered active, but the three LLMDs I talked to said that once my lyme is considered inactive and with the proper care, according to Dr. J in CT, my baby could be safe and I would be less likely to get seriously ill again.
I'm afraid even if I get better soon-ish, it will be too hard on my body, and the fear of lyme getting worse again is surely makes me pause.
It is hard to accept possibly changing this very important wish, leaving my son without the lifelong benefits of a sibling, my husband without the second child he has planned for all his life and many other reasons.
Have others had to make this decision?
-------------------- * 24 - fibromyalgia and mood disorder * 36 - lyme disease * 40 - still fighting it * Posts: 13 | From Austin, TX | Registered: Jan 2010
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Hey Sue..
I feel for you, I do. Sorry you are faced with this situation. The easy way to figure this out might be to ask yourself...
"Would I donate blood to the Red Cross- knowing they don't screen for Lyme and blood bank conditions don't kill the Lyme and it could be passed along to someone that could be made sick and/or worse by my decision?"
If you wouldn't donate blood... you might also want to think about passing your disease onto your own baby- cause it is the same kind of thing.
I didn't have a choice when the option would have been available for me. I was too sick for years on end and wouldn't consider even a slight chance of having a little one born with Lyme.
Had I felt better and then had another child and relapsed ... in my opinion it would have been tragic. I've watched mothers have to give up their children (healthy ones and sick ones with Lyme) because they themselves were too sick to care for them.
I also heard from a child who was born with Lyme- which was the ultimate end all for me in making my decision to not have another child.
She said if she had been given a choice to be born or not .. after all the terrible pain and problems she had to live with every day.. she would have chosen to not be born.
I am sure others will have more positive outlooks and will be more encouraging, but I personally could not risk it and would have felt guilty my entire life for purposely bringing a child into this world when I knew there could be major consequences for the child and my family.
God bless and may HE guide you and bring you peace.
posted
I wanted to have a second baby too, but since I am sick, and I did give my daughter lyme, I won't risk passing it on again, even though I really, really want a second baby.
Other than passing lyme on to the baby, I am just concerned that I won't be able to care for the baby like I want to. Because I am just tired all the time.
I am sorry this is a decision that you and me, along with many others have had to make.
Shalome
Posts: 893 | From Florida | Registered: Dec 2008
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
my husband and I just had a conversation last night that we would liek to have another baby. Not in the immediate future, but maybe in 2-3 years.
I am going to do much research and get healthier before we officially decide. I currently have an IUD that is good for 5 years that was just placed so There is virtually very little chance of preganancy till we take it out and recover from that. I hear it can take a year for your body to get situated.
This is a heavy decision for me for many reasons.
I had 2 difficult pregnancies w/o Lyme.
preterm labor, diabetes, and severe post partum psychosis to name a few things.
add Lyme to the mix and I dont know. I would never want my baby to feel the pain I feel.
But, a friend had a healthy baby and she had lyme so it is possible.
there is much to consider.
good luck on whatever you decide.
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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It is a hard decision. I am going through this too.
We currently have 4 children and it is possible that I passed lyme down to my youngest.
We have always wanted 5 kids but now that I have lyme I don't think we will.
I already feel awful I can't take care of the 4 I have.
Lyme sucks and takes away so much of your life.
I know you will make the best decision for you.
No way is right it is just what is right for you and your family.
Good luck
-------------------- Casey 1/7/10-Diagnosed with Lyme but got it in July 2008 and possibly 15 plus years ago http://www.crazylyme.com Posts: 105 | From Aubrey, Texas | Registered: Nov 2009
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
It's an individual decision, but to put a good story out there, I have five biological children and passed my Lyme onto none of them. The one who had Lyme got bitten by a tick.
I did not have an active Lyme infection when I got pregnant. I did not know I had Lyme, but I had been disabled by it with CFS symptoms three times prior to pregnancy and symptoms would flare during pregnancy. I was not treated while pregnant since I didn't know it was Lyme.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Sue, I'm so sorry. You're in my prayers. The Lord is close to the broken hearted. May you sense His presence.
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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posted
Everyone has brought up very valid concerns and many comforts. We do have a lovely warm family now, with our 3 1/2 year old son loving that he is the center of our world.
And my ability to care for and give attention to my son after his birth was very compromised, though less so now as he has fewer physical needs. I would hate for that to happen again, even though LLMDs say they have seen women stay healthy or not get as sick.
And while LLMDs assure us that with the proper antibiotics they have seen 100% of women give birth to healthy lyme-free babies, I would hate to be an exception.
Another fear I have is very selfish and I hate to even say it aloud. If something would happen to our one son, I would feel so alone, even with my husband. I'm not sure if our marriage could withstand it, based on how important children are to our lives though we could surprise ourselves. The thought of growing old without the joy of being a part of my own young one becoming an adult and starting his own life is one of those little background fears for me. Having a 2nd child helps calm that fear, as well as doubles the joy I think the future would hold. (I know adoption is an option, but for us, we are not sure it would be the right one.)
Thank you everyone for sharing your thoughts, and please continue to share. I'm sure it is a pain many of us feel and it is hard to find others in our lives who have had a similar experiences.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 24 years old - dx'ed with fibromyalgia and mood disorder 36 - lyme disease 40 - still fighting it
-------------------- * 24 - fibromyalgia and mood disorder * 36 - lyme disease * 40 - still fighting it * Posts: 13 | From Austin, TX | Registered: Jan 2010
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- " . . .with the proper antibiotics they have seen 100% of women give birth to healthy lyme-free babies"
No one can guarantee 100% - ever. Perhaps a lucky doctor has had that in the past but there is never a guarantee. Across the board, it does not happen. Even with the best care, there is a risk . . . .
Even if you don't feel that adoption is right for you at this time, there is still time to think about that. It would sure be easier on your body and, therefore, you be stronger from the start. The child may also already be able to dress and brush their own teeth.
I never had the energy for having children but thought if they came at age 2 - 6, I might have been able to do it. But, it was not in the cards. And, I now know there was no way I could have done it, especially with severe hyperacusis.
But, then I went all those years undiagnosed and even more without even basic treatment.
In the coming years you will be getting stronger so you may have energy enough to then adopt. If not, then your son can become more involved with other children in the community and have other kids around to play with and then, as he gets older, become involved in group projects.
If you have the energy to support his growth, he will not be alone. I know it must be disappointing but, if you keep focus on getting stronger, however it works out, your son will be better able to simply be with others in some fabulous ways - community can very well also be family.
I would not completely dismiss the idea of having a 2nd child. I have done MUCH, MUCH research myself on the subject and EVERY lyme doctor I've talked to has told me it can be done safely (both for mother and child).
In my humble opinion, I don't know that it's as big of a risk as many on this board say it is. I could be wrong, but this is just what I've been told by the experts.
Although it's nearly 100% chance that the baby will be safe from lyme if you're treated appropriately througout the pregnancy, even if the baby was born with lyme, babies can be cured.
Many on this board will disagree with me, but I thought you should hear another opinion.
Lymers
Posts: 287 | From Humboldt County, CA | Registered: Jul 2009
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WildCondor
Unregistered
posted
Adoption?? You get your second baby, save a life, and everything.
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