posted
have had the dx 2.5 months but been off work 4.5 months.....treating with PCP....then got a LLMD....starting some new meds......
i kept thinking i'll be back to work in a few weeks....and the few weeks kept on going...
.now the LLMD gave me a note for 3 months....so we can get a hold on this thing.....
i am just so worried about telling them i wont be back next week and it may be a while...people just dont get it!...
.any suggestions on how to tell them to keep them onside.......
-------------------- Oct 09 Positive CDC Western Blot Jan 10 Positive Babesia Duncani Jan 10 Cd57 28 Mar 10 EBV, IgM, IgG HHV-6 IgG Posts: 739 | From NC | Registered: Oct 2009
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posted
I felt exactly the same- nervous about telling my boss. Turns out he had been bitten before too!
He understood how sick I was and how sick the medication makes me. It was hard admitting I am not well, not able to do what I once would do but being honest was the best thing I ever did.
Sometimes colleagues need reminding. Sometimes ppl say "What's wrong with you lately? You forget everything". I politely remind them that they are in fact forgetting I have lyme and should show some empathy.
You'd be surprised, most people I know have had or at least have a relative who has suffered this dreadful illness.
Posts: 8 | From San Francisco | Registered: Jan 2010
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Most important: do not disclose your diagnosis. If you have company health care you may loose out if they learn of your diagnosis. There are many vague terms you can use, or just say you don't even have all the details, you really don't want to discuss specifics, and - anyway - and the term "medical conditon" should suffice.
Don't tell your boss until:
First, schedule an appointment with your human resources director and declare need for physical accommodation due to disability. You need not say what your diagnosis is but simple what accommodations you request due to a medical condition.
Making this declaration, officially to the HR director is to help protect you against getting fired but certain things would still need to be worked out to be sure your boss gets what he needs, too.
Then, you can tell your boss. You might actually schedule an appointment for immediately after seeing the HR specialist. It should be immediately after as your boss needs to be the next in the loop.
But, if you tell your boss before officially declaring to HR, you run the risk of termination. The declaration with HR affords a level of protection. Without that, the law is not the same.
You might first contact a attorney who deals with such matter for a phone consult or search the ADA website, etc.
If they give you accommodation or additional time off, get the terms in writing.
I assume they now have a temp or coworker attending to your duties and your job is being held for you ??
But, in all practical matters, if they can hold it for a while longer, great. But, I'd first officially declare disability so that you have some legal foothold.
Still, there are practical matters if they simply cannot hold your job a certain amount of time - or if you can work part-time, what you need to make that work for both you and your employer and coworkers.
After all that is said, really, FIRST, get professional advice before proceeding. And good luck. I hope this works out for everyone.
Oh, and about those who "don't get it" - you have to stop trying to make them get it. Don't even try. Take back the respect stolen from patients about lyme. You need not tell then why or what - but stand tall and keep your respect. You have a medical condition and you are following your doctor's orders.
Take the best care of yourself and they will see you are serious about getting well. Beyond that, specifics are none of their business and none of this should be directly affecting them anyway. If it is, someone is not managing the department efficiency or professionally.
Your duties should be covered by someone while you are away so whether they "get it" (or not) is trivial. You have more important matters to manage. Rise above the gossip and those who want to revisit school yard bully behavior. Just stroll on by and focus on the matter at hand. -
[ 01-26-2010, 01:21 AM: Message edited by: Keebler ]
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
thanks...they already know I have Lyme.....and my head office is in another state otherwise i would have gone in to talk with them.
My local bosses have been good up to now and said i will not lose my job but who knows !!!!......
-------------------- Oct 09 Positive CDC Western Blot Jan 10 Positive Babesia Duncani Jan 10 Cd57 28 Mar 10 EBV, IgM, IgG HHV-6 IgG Posts: 739 | From NC | Registered: Oct 2009
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posted
my llmd actually wrote on my excuse note "neurological lyme".
-------------------- Oct 09 Positive CDC Western Blot Jan 10 Positive Babesia Duncani Jan 10 Cd57 28 Mar 10 EBV, IgM, IgG HHV-6 IgG Posts: 739 | From NC | Registered: Oct 2009
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posted
My LLMD, at my first visit last month, actually advised me not to tell my boss if at all possible. I guess he has heard too many stories of discrimination or people losing their jobs.
I am still working and have not yet had to miss any days due to Lyme. I am worried that I will, if I get worse in the future, or get better and then relapse later.
I have not officially told my boss, due to my doctor's advice, but I live in a small town and work with a small group of people who all know each other and each other's relatives and a good bit of each other's personal lives.
One of my coworkers is also a close friend, and I have already told her all about the Lyme--I have to have SOMEBODY to talk to or I can't cope with this. But she is close to my boss, so I assume my boss will know or suspect, especially if it starts to noticeably affect my work performance.
In addition, we fill out new applications for health insurance every year, and I will have to list Lyme as a pre-existing condition, so the HR person, who also works closely with my boss, will know.
It is really impossible to keep secrets like that in a small town, and if you try, then people are much more interested and skeptical about what you are hiding than if you tell them.
Or they might speculate that you have something worse. (Er, hmmm. What could be worse than Lyme, though? I suppose if I had something imminently and inevitably fatal and highly contagious, maybe.)
They certainly wouldn't imagine my problem to be Lyme unless I did tell them, because they don't know enough to recognize it.
However, I also think you have to protect yourself legally as much as you can, and you don't owe your coworkers a detailed explanation of your illness, symptoms and prognosis.
I think it is reasonable for you to say "I have a medical condition/disability/physical or mental limitation that affects me or my work in a certain way" without giving them your entire health history.
It's always best to consult a lawyer when you are concerned about potential legal issues. Better you should consult one about how to keep your job than about how to sue your employer for discrimination. Early advice is better than late advice.
Good luck to you!
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Florence, even if you have a good relationship with your boss, if that boss leaves, it would be good to have the proper documentation in place.
Also, about coworkers' questions -- to give them some sort of answer if you feel you must . . . as lyme frequently affects the inner ear and balance center - and that causes many of the same symptoms as lyme - one can simply say "inner ear disorder" and that covers a lot of ground.
If asked for specifics, just say there are many different types (besides "Meniere's") and as time moves forward you should learn more.
A vestibular disorder also can explain why you would need time off . . . or when you return: subdued lighting, quiet atmosphere, rest periods, etc. . . .
posted
My employer was unable to give me "reasonable accomodations" so I was out on FMLA with company long term disability pay for two years.
Posts: 365 | From Sylvania | Registered: Aug 2008
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