posted
I get so caught up in this silly disease and all the things I cannot do and all the things that hurt, exhaust and confuse me.
That's why it was such a surprise yesterday when my husband came into the bedroom and said that he had stopped by a beauty parlor downtown to make an appointment for me.
He told them "You can probably tell that I am not here for myself...." (he is totally bald!) He told them about my situation, found someone who could help fix my terrible hair which is fried from the meds etc. and made an appointment.
Today, shaky and weak, I made it in there. A lovely young lady figured out what to do, colored, cut and styled my hair. I look like a different person!!!
She used very mild, beeswax stuff on it and it shines and looks very healthy and nice. The gray is gone and it is a beautiful chestnut shade. She showed me how to style it on days I felt well and how to do it when I was too weak.
I feel so blessed to have such a loving and thoughtful husband. We cannot afford it, but it certainly boosted my morale! Now I am not embarassed to see my doctor on Monday.
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
What a wonderful husband. He sure is a keeper !! You might want to clone him.
Amazing when our hair is styled we have a different outlook and it makes us feel better.
I am so happy your husband was so thoughtful to do this for you. It probably helps him too, knowing he could do something for you to make you feel better also makes him feel better.
Your hubby is probably saying " who is this sexy babe?"
You are very fortunate to have such a caring and loving husband.
Elaine
Posts: 671 | From Fort Myers, Florida | Registered: Jun 2009
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posted
Thanks, Elaine. You hit it right. When he walked into the salon, he said "Where is my wife????"
He kept looking at me in the car and I said, "What do you think?" He said "It looks good, it looks really good!"
And from him, that is an awesome compliment. He is an absentminded scientist who wouldn't notice if I wore a full suit of armor to bed!
You're right about helping him, too. I think he often feels terrible frustration that he cannot help me more. He is the one who called all the labs to find the PCR test for me. After 20 years we finally found out that I had LD.
We all need to remember how tough this illness is on our families and support teams.
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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kidsgotlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23691
posted
AHHH!! How sweet of him. What a thoughtful man.
-------------------- symptoms since 1993 that I can remember. 9/2018 diagnosed with Borellia, Babesia Duncani, and Bartonella Hensalae thru DNA Connections. Posts: 1470 | From Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2009
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
quote:Originally posted by farraday: I look like a different person!!!
Now I am not embarassed to see my doctor on Monday.
Wow, that's great!
However, your doctor needs to see you "as you are." I'd advise you not to wear makeup to the appointment.
When I was nursing in the hospital, there were women who fooled their doctors into discharging them early. They'd put on full makeup and tell him, "I feel fine." Heh, the doc couldn't tell how bad their color was.
Carol
Posts: 6947 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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MDW005
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 22706
posted
I am so happy that you got that lift, high, that will last for awhile. It always makes me feel good inside and out.
What a wonderful husband!!!
-------------------- God's promises mean you always have something wonderful to look forward to. Posts: 2150 | From Georgia | Registered: Oct 2009
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posted
Good idea, Carol. I am extremely pale and look exhausted....probably because I am. But my trembling hands give me away, too, and my speech is still somewhat halted. I walk without my cane, but only because I can hold on to my husband's arm.
I used to make it a rule never to leave the house without my hair fixed and my makeup on, even when I was a young mother.
Now I very rarely use it.
I have trouble holding up a hair dryer and styling brush so the hairdresser told me just to put in gel and let it dry naturally if I am too tired to do otherwise. Fortunately I have some natural curl.
But it has been a big blow to look the way I do. I had always been slim and attractive, acted on the stage and modeled professionally. When I ran my business I always wore a suit and heels, gave frequent presentations and looked professional.
My son keeps telling me that I am looking better, but I know he is desolate. He keeps a photo of my old self out in plain site to remind him, I guess.
My other son just tells me to live each moment, to enjoy what I can and not to worry about anything else. Every now and then he calls me and we talk about philosophy, travel, books.
My daughter has decided to write me off. She won't return my calls or emails. I have no idea why. My son tells me to ignore her and wait for her to grow up.
But it leaves a hole in my heart. She used to be so supportive when she lived at home. But I guess her strange, always unemployed husband has succeeded in separating her entirely from her family. He is very envious of her successful brothers.
Well, my husband says I am still beautful and what else matters, huh?
Thanks everybody for your nice comments. They mean a lot.
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
About your daughter... I agree with your son. Try to ignore the strained situation with her right now by focusing on your hubby and sons (after focusing on getting well, of course) and wait for her to grow up.
I was in your daughters shoes for awhile as a teen, and likely would have continued had I not gotten pg and "grew up" pretty quick.
My mom was sick with lyme, yhough none of us knew that at the time. I was, too, for that matter. Anyway it wasn't that she was sick that irked me about her, it was simply the fact that she was my mom and different opinions on thins... like my life (1 boyfriend was 32yr older than me...we've been married for 13yrs this month).
I was so irked, I refused to 'let' her come to my hs graduation. I told her I did NOT want her there as she'd done nothing to help me through school. COMPLETELY untrue, but I was really angry... all the time... and mostly she caught ALL of it.
She never pushed, though she did attend graduation - she sat up in the bleachers unbeknowst to me. SHe just kept telling me she loved me and I could call her anytime. Of course, I mostly yelled back at her that I hated her, and disappeared (from her) for weeks or months at a time.
Anyhow. My point is this: I don't think she ever really 'stressed' over my behavior. I mean I know she didn't like it and I know it hurt her terribly, but I don't think she focused on it too much. She had my dad, and my 3 younger brothers to take care of.
I think it was the fact that she didn't push that let me feel like I could call her when I got pg. Not for help, Mike and I were already a couple and had TRIED for the baby, but just to let her know she was going to be a grandma (and ok, I was hoping they would give me the crib my youngest bro was just outgrowing...lol).
She never once brought up all the horrible thins I'd done or said, and didn't demand apologies either. She just kept on loving me like my mom allways has.
It wasn't very long at all before I broke the silence about my awful years. I am still apologizing, though she always says, "hey, what's done is done. It's in the past, let's leave it there."
I really think your son is right...once she grows up a little more, she'll mend fences. You just need to be ready to love her back, which I'm sure you are!
Keep hope alive in your heart, and get better soon!
A reformed mom-hater.
Posts: 155 | From Texas | Registered: Oct 2007
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2roads
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 4409
posted
Oh Farraday........
So happy for you and your new doo.
I was grey in my 30's and know the power of just a color change, let alone everything else.
What a wonderful husband!
So happy for the way the new you feels-
More Hugs,
2roads
Posts: 2214 | From West Chester, PA | Registered: Aug 2003
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posted
Thank you both so much. I just talked with my son on the phone. It's great to hear him so happy in his new home with his wife.
I appreciate your comments, Smurfy. It is so hard to wait for her to grow up, but my son assures me that someday she will regret her behavior. It sounds like your mom figured that out and handled it quite well.
Meanwhile I do appreciate my husband and the rest of our family. And I vow this summer to make it downtown to the Community Center to meet people and get out of my rut.
Yes, it is hard to speak and communicate. But we have to try. And my son is urging me to start writing again. He points out that with dragonspeak I can even dictate my stuff.
So I will take your advice and not worry about her very much. I plan to be too busy to do so!
-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
I was estranged from my daughter for a period of time and it was heartbreaking. There was about an 8 year period of pure misery between us. But I found that the best thing I did was to use tough love on her. I turned it around on her. Instead of her ignoring me, I ignored her.
I think in my daughters case anyway, that her ignoring me, being mad at me, etc. she felt in control. It was an awakening to her when she realized that I decided to just let her go and move on with my life.
I acted like I didn't want to be a part of the way she was living, which actually I didn't. I didn't approve of things she was doing as an adult. I acted like I was just fine not having anything to do with her. Not saying that was easy! But it worked!
It took a while, but she finally grew up. We have a great relationship now!
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
Congrats on the hairdo and the marvelous husband!
I was bedridden for 2 months due to an injury once. It was very demoralizing because I had to take a sponge bath in bed, and I could only persuade someone to wash my hair for me over a bucket about once a week when I used to do it every day. I couldn't do makeup or anything. I couldn't wear normal clothes--I wore rumpled, sweaty cotton sleep shirts, and to go out to the doctor pulled on a stretchy, shapeless skirt over them and used a man's size 13 slipper as a shoe over my cast.
When I was able to get out, my mom took me to get my hair cut and permed, and I put on some actual clothes, and I felt so much better and less depressed.
Re: your daughter, I married a guy who turned out to be abusive. He gained control over me to the point that he caused me to alienate myself from my family. But I got wise to him, stood up for myself and divorced him, and made up with my family, who are really really close and supportive of me now. It took me about 8 years, but I got there. Meanwhile they could tell me I should leave the guy, but as long as I had made up my mind to stay in spite of my own objections, I didn't want to hear the outside pressure to leave. They made sure I knew I was always welcome to come home, and the day I left my ex, that's where I went and was warmly welcomed.
I hope your daughter comes around soon.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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