I have my husband and daughter, but they both have Lyme too.
We have to work, or else we would all end up on the street. We have no insurance, no extra money, and no one to help us around the house.
I cry in agony everyday, my daughter lies alone in her bedroom, crying, and wondering why her grandma won't call or visit her, my husband crumples on the floor after work. He can't mow the lawn, or clean house. We are all in torturous pain, but we have to do it.
My mom was going to move in with us and help us, but she said I was annoying so she moved far away. She only phoned me a few months ago to ask me for money.
I can't even call my best friend either. I did that once and it took me a week to recover from it.
I am now re-mortgaging my house to help pay for our medical bills.
Don't worry about what your brother thinks. We all think you are awesome and we love your posts and replies. You are so interesting and cool! You are one of my favorites on this forum!
Take care,
-------------------- I am not a doctor. I have no clue. Posts: 606 | From somewhere out there | Registered: Sep 2009
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METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
quote:Originally posted by lou: Man, pretty terrible. I am so sorry. Are you sure you want this kind of information on a public board? As we have discussed on another thread, all kinds of people read it and some of them are not nice people and could use it against us.
Putting all this into words is sometimes therapeutic, but having done it, maybe now just copy it off into a file and delete this thread?
Lyme kind of intensifies any relationship problems we have already in our lives. There may be some who have no issues in their lives and complete support from everyone they know, but that is probably uncommon.
I'm not concerned about who reads this and that's why I posted it. At one time it may have been something that "hurt" -- but now most of it is simply a thoughtful review. Years and years of therapy help scars to heal tough and thick.
The only part that hurts is the inherent conflicts in this present moment. You're right though. Lyme pours salt on the wounds we brought to the table.
Missing, I'm very sorry to hear about what's happening to you. I do hope you realize that transitional assistance exists in most states. Fuel assistance, Personal Care Assistants, Medicare, Medicaid. If you call your Transitional Assistance office they can help you or your husband transition out of working a full time job (or even ending a part time job) and then moving you into disability.
Don't get me wrong though, to even think about doing those things is painful, but it was something I eventually needed to do. I made the process very painful by trying to cling to the belief that my recovery would be rapid. Assistance like Food Stamps, and Electrical assistance are also very helpful.
Anything to alleviate some of the suffering from attempting to live the life you once lived can be a relief as the emotional agony subsides.
You can get better though, so it doesn't have to be forever. I plan on recovering. As far as I'm concerned, the impossible just takes a little longer.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
posted
mb-i know i dont know exactly what your going through but i have a brother who is 8 years older than me. he wont talk to me anymore since a phone conversation 3 months ago where he called me the worlds biggest pu$$y and i called him the worlds biggest a$$hole.
however i can tell you with him out of my life ive had less stress and been feeling a little better. youve seemed to accept that your not going to get over your disease. why not except the much more likely thing in that you will never change your brother. people rarely change. trying to change them is like beating your head against a wall.
also in the end was your relationship that great before you got sick? what are you trying to reclaim? i know its hard but i feel like its been in my best interest.
-------------------- sick since 9-09 igg, 18,23,41 reactive igm, 41 reactive Posts: 436 | From Kansas City | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
I have been impressed with your wisdom on a number of occasions, and with your helpfulness. It seems exceptional that you have not let this destroy you, and still have some fight, for yourself and for others. Hope you will indeed find some real and lasting improvement with your lyme treatment.
However, it seems that there is added stress in your life that doesn't need to be there. Maybe you could tell your mom kindly that you have tried, and that giving it a rest would be good for both of you, as far as your brother is concerned. Someone else suggested not to make it black and white, now or never. This was good advice. Just table it for some other year, if the time comes that it can be revived without so much agony.
It is very worrying that your therapist seems to be undermining your lyme treatment. This can't be a good thing, and are you getting such good help from this person otherwise that you would not want to find someone more supportive. The biggest issue in your life now is your illness and your therapist needs to be supportive.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
quote:Originally posted by lou: It is very worrying that your therapist seems to be undermining your lyme treatment. This can't be a good thing, and are you getting such good help from this person otherwise that you would not want to find someone more supportive. The biggest issue in your life now is your illness and your therapist needs to be supportive.
My psychiatrist is out of the picture. The moment she opened her dumb ass gullet after I'd spent countless years educating her, was the moment it ended. She had been so supportive, and suddenly out of nowhere she tells me I should accept my condition, stop looking for new treatments, and get on with life?"
You should have been there. My girlfriend Erica was there with me in the actual appointment. She got ****ed and had her say. We left, and I never went back. That was well over a year ago.
My counselor who I work with constantly is great, she listens, understands, and continues to support me as best as she can while I struggle with conflicts like chronic illness, and the consequences of that. She also helps me with these other issues I've brought up.
I guess in my heart -- against my better judgment -- I just needed to make this last attempt. Whatever comes, ...
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
To everyone else who has been showing support and sharing their stories -- thank you so much, I'm right there with you. The issue with my brother is just the base of the ice burg -- a lot of my relationships have died and soured over the years as my illness took me down. Those relationships were much easier to dismiss and let go of.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
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