posted
It seems that effecting my balance, stamina, digestion and eyes were not enough for this disease. Now it's starting to effect me emotionally.
I'm not sure if it is just an accumulation of the mental stress of carrying lymes for 10 months, the recent realization that I have no support from friends or family, or some chemical change due to the disease.
I have recently started a new combination of abx which is much stronger than the old doxy I was on. Since then I have been feeling awful. Tired, VERY irritable, somewhat feverish, sad, lonely and hopeless.
I have been feeling that my dog was all I had and 2 days ago he ****ed (deliberately) on my bed right in front of me. I flew into a rage and have been extremely down ever since.
It seems like a small thing (the dog peeing on my bed) but it seems to have effected me very much emotionally. Something changed when it happened and I'm starting to feel very hopeless.
Sorry to whine, but I feel backstabbed and abandoned by everyone around me. The only family I have left are some aunts uncles and cousins and they have been very caustic towards me since I got sick.
I can't be the only one who feels this way sometimes. Have any of you dealt with these feelings? How do you get through it ( please don't tell me you relied on the support of your loving circle of family and friends, that will only make me feel worse since I have none of those)? Any advice?
Posts: 41 | From astoria, new york | Registered: Feb 2010
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MDW005
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 22706
posted
Dear Kirk,
First off... so very sorry you are going through this.
Are you also being treated for coinfections? I read that people say that the coinfections cause lyme rage and depression... A roller coaster of emotions. Maybe you could try a adrenal support or an antidepresent. When you start feeling hopeless start getting busy.
Your dog will get over your anger, thats why they are our best friend. Sometimes family don't understand because they are not going through what we are, and just maybe they do not know how to help?
Try not to isolate yourself. hang in there you do have us. OK?
-------------------- God's promises mean you always have something wonderful to look forward to. Posts: 2150 | From Georgia | Registered: Oct 2009
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posted
I get emotional turbulence like that sometimes, though only for a day or two and it usually goes away after I sleep.
I know it is chemical because when it hits me, I suddenly think all my loved ones have turned on me and my life is hopeless, etc., and I start crying all day long.
My brain tries to make sense of it by assigning blame for this horrendous emotional state to whatever small thing just happened, or whatever person is around. Hence, your blaming the dog.
There is a separate roller coaster of emotions that is a normal reaction to having this terrible illness and having so much difficulty getting support and treatment, and that can be eased by solving practical problems or talking with supportive people.
The chemical issues that are physical symptoms of the disease may need a drug, or some kind of herbal support, or detox could help if it's part of a herx, or reducing the dose of whatever drug causes the herx
Depression and anxiety can also be side effects of drugs, and you say you just started some new ones.
When I get in that state from my brain chemistry or whatever it is, then even though I have great family and friends, they don't help because I think they hate me, and I can't cheer myself up by "thinking positively" or whatever.
But in my case, sleep has always been helpful. A couple of times it didn't help, and then I didn't know what to do, but the feeling passed in a few days.
Try to remember that it's the disease trying to convince you to give up fighting it, and resolve not to let it win.
-------------------- Don't forget to laugh! And when you're going through hell, keep going!
Bitten 5/25/2009 in Perry County, Indiana. Diagnosed by LLMD 12/2/2009. Posts: 756 | From Inside the tunnel | Registered: Jan 2010
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posted
Kirk-- please email me at [email protected] I think that we both could use support so why not use eachother for that?? Posts: 574 | From Out there somewhere | Registered: Jul 2010
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quote:Originally posted by LightAtTheEnd: I get emotional turbulence like that sometimes, though only for a day or two and it usually goes away after I sleep.
I know it is chemical because when it hits me, I suddenly think all my loved ones have turned on me and my life is hopeless, etc., and I start crying all day long.
My brain tries to make sense of it by assigning blame for this horrendous emotional state to whatever small thing just happened, or whatever person is around. Hence, your blaming the dog.
There is a separate roller coaster of emotions that is a normal reaction to having this terrible illness and having so much difficulty getting support and treatment, and that can be eased by solving practical problems or talking with supportive people.
The chemical issues that are physical symptoms of the disease may need a drug, or some kind of herbal support, or detox could help if it's part of a herx, or reducing the dose of whatever drug causes the herx
Depression and anxiety can also be side effects of drugs, and you say you just started some new ones.
When I get in that state from my brain chemistry or whatever it is, then even though I have great family and friends, they don't help because I think they hate me, and I can't cheer myself up by "thinking positively" or whatever.
But in my case, sleep has always been helpful. A couple of times it didn't help, and then I didn't know what to do, but the feeling passed in a few days.
Try to remember that it's the disease trying to convince you to give up fighting it, and resolve not to let it win.
Thanks, i feel much better today. I don't know what that was all about, thats never happened to me before. Like you said, maybe a herx from the new meds or maybe a compilation of things including living with lymes.
Sounds like what you described is exactly what I experienced, everyone was my enemy. I reduced my abx. This has never happened to me before so right now, I'm blaming the new meds.
Posts: 41 | From astoria, new york | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
I've been dealing with this for just over 20 years.
I was finally diagnosed 2 days ago.
For a long while I had anxiety attacks and episodes of severe depression that would appear out of the blue. I had no idea why they were happening.
I realized, eventually, that the panic attacks and bouts of depression were due to something that was happening physiologically.
In the same way your judgment suffers if you are drunk, your judgment is impaired when you are having a panic attack, are depressed or are suffering some other extreme emotional response.
Realizing this is key.
Understanding that this was happening because of chemicals being released into my blood stream, I was able to treat the anxiety, fear, frustration and depression like a type of intoxication.
Even though I still had the physical element to contend with, this awareness helped me short-circuit the negative thought processes that would rise up.
This has also helped me when dealing with the negative feelings that arise from the physical and social difficulties of dealing with this disease.
When I finally realized I was sick--probably with something serious--I had to fight fear, anxiety, depression and hopelessness from not knowing what it was or being able to find help.
The negative experiences I had with physicians, family members and friends also caused me to battle with feelings of anger, frustration and despair.
Once I began viewing these negative emotions as threats to my health and ability to cope, I went on the attack. I examined the self-destructive thought processes which would occur and would try to work out why I was having the reaction I was having.
Most of the time, simply analyzing the process which was creating the emotional response I was experiencing was sufficient to disarm it.
I'm sorry. Having a lot of trouble thinking straight today. Hope I'm being clear.
My mind is glue right now, so I'm leaving off with that.
Be patient and compassionate with yourself.
Glad to see you are doing better.
Posts: 15 | From Virginia | Registered: Jul 2010
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