On Tuesday night, the body of an event planner--with duct tape over the mouth-- was found on West 4th Street, under a construction vehicle.
A suicide note was found in Bryan Jacobson's apartment at 250 Mercer Street, and the Daily News reports, "In the note, Jacobson wrote that he could no longer deal with his health issues, the sources said.
He suffered from Lyme disease. Investigators believe Jacobson first tried to suffocate himself, and when that didn't work, he jumped from a window about 10:45 p.m."
A neighbor told the Post that Jacobson's business wasn't doing well.
Posts: 217 | From Earth | Registered: Feb 2010
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posted
Sorry to hear about Bryan and about Wizard's husband. Pain is so hard to bear... sometimes the mental pain is worse than the physical pain.
and they can't find a cure ..
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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linky123
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This is so sad. Wizard, you are in our prayers.
-------------------- 'Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.' Matthew 11:28 Posts: 2607 | From Hooterville | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
I completely understand.
Posts: 743 | From New York | Registered: Apr 2009
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BackinStOlaf
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My mental pain from the stress of this disease is worse than my physical pain.
-------------------- First Symptom 9/09 Multiple docs, negative Labcorp test LLMD: 1/10 Positive Igenex/CDC test Treatment 2/10 2/10-8/10 Amox, ceftin, zith, flagyl Currently: Bicillin, Minocycline, still dealing with severe breathing issues
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RDaywillcome
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Keebler
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posted
- With lyme, I see no difference between mental and physical pain, it's all so intertwined.
RDay - thanks for that link with photo. What a beautiful man. While the end of his life is incredibly sad, his courage, holding on for as long as he could but also not hiding in shame the fact that lyme was the reasons he could not go on . . . well, that may help others get treatment and prevent such a sad ending.
I do hope the "powers that be" understand that it was not depression at all, or "just" depression that caused this. I hope they see the full impact lyme's toxicity has on the entire body, the entire person. We are not doing what we should as a a society to address lyme. I hope this shines some light.
Some of this was about finances, sure, because of failing health, employment options were limited but that still circles back to lyme. It all circles back to lyme and lack of medical awareness. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Keebler
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- I've been thinking about him the last hour or so. In addition to better educated doctors and access to medical care that works, however complex that may be - how nice it would be if our society could be more supportive of those who just can't make the bills, or cook their meals, etc.
With support, burdens are easier to bear. We are not a particularly nurturing society but with the financial tiers set up the way they are, so many are stretched so thin just to take care of themselves.
But, with lyme, there is also the factor that people have no clue to the serious effects. It's a shameful thing, in the U.S. of A., to have an illness that not only is misunderstood but one that so many doctors just sweep under the rug as "no big deal."
I don't know how we can ever get to the point where those who can't financially take care of themselves can carry on. These are particularly tender times for everyone.
I hope that communities will come together and do what might have helped with Bryan: ask what could help and make that happen whether it have been medical, practical or social support, totally non-judgmental.
For all we know, though, I'm sure his inner circle did love and do the very best they could but, sometimes, especially with lyme, a person can only hold on so long. It would just have been so good if it had not been so hard. Things could have been different. We have to do better as a society. I hope we see some improvements. I'd like to see a totally different approach to so much about lyme and chronic illness support options, though.
I'm great at dreaming how it SHOULD be - how it SHOULD have been better for Bryan - and for all those in such circumstances. But just call me PollyAnna. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I have to be honest and say I really questioned the suicide angle. I felt that way when I first read it in the article I posted, but especially now after reading the article that RDay has a link to above.
I know lyme can do a number on you mentally, believe me! But, why tape your mouth and not your nose if you're trying to suffocate yourself?
Also, it states in the article from RDay's link that "Jacobson's battered body was found wedged beneath a Caterpillar construction vehicle."
Beneath a vehicle? That seems kind of strange for someone jumping from a 14th story building. I would expect a body to land on top of something, not underneath it.
It just seems a very strange way to try and kill one's self, especially when there are so many easier ways to do so.
I don't doubt he had lyme and the many mental and physical problems that can come with the disease, but I hope some serious inquiries and investigation into this man's death/murder/suicide/whatever happens.
I do feel for his friends and family as well. And, if I were one, I'd have a lot of questions I would want answers to.
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Keebler
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- He did try to suffocate himself first and it did not work. That's why the tape. The nose area may been too moist to hold the tape. Besides, by keeping the nose open, that gives some control up to the last minute. So matter how troubled a person is at that time, the most peaceful exit with the most control would be desired. Some measure of deserved dignity and control.
Jumping is immediate - he seemed to be pushed to the edge and my guess is that it had not been planned but a last moment defiant measure.
At my sickest, I had many instincts to jump. Also to walk in front of a train. A train track cut right through the center of campus and I would be so very exhausted that I just didn't think I could walk farther and get to class. The exhaustion was the main driver of my instincts to jump. Just - too - exhausted - to- go - on.
The adrenal exhaustion that goes with lyme may have also contributed. With such intense exhaustion, the "fight or flight" response takes over sometimes with an intensity that can lead to a jump.
My brain was just so overwhelmed that it could only see the fastest way out when I'd hit such exhaustion. It was ALWAYS a sudden drop - that smack of exhaustion - that triggered my thoughts - no, they weren't really even thoughts but impulses. I was in that "flight" mode and body had no idea of how to get out of that deep exhaustion and bone pain. No doctors found anything wrong. Until decades later.
Those times when I nearly jumped, I was able to give some more thought but, for years, during grad school I dared not let myself to to certain floors at the library that had outdoor patios and low railings.
It would take many years before I could understand all that was going on with me then. Now I understand it so clearly.
By being open about this, hopefully, change will come for others. And, also we can allow ourselves to hold Bryan's memory in complete love and understanding - even if we don't understand completely. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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I'm not sure you can say he actually tried to cover his nose and suffocate himself as the article says, "His mouth was bound with silver duct tape, leading cops to initially suspect foul play."
It never says anything about his nose being taped.
I guess we will never really know. I just think the whole thing sounds suspicious to me and I think it needs to be looked at much more closely.
I'm glad to hear you are much better and no longer think of jumping out of windows or walking in front of trains! That must be absolutely horrifying to deal with, but so glad you did deal with it, are here, and able to get better.
Best wishes to you!
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Keebler
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- Correct. His nose was not taped. The article I read said his mouth was as he had attempted suffocation. I'm speculating that the nose would have been too moist -- or that he wanted to keep some control until he was ready go and close off his nose in another way.
The door was chained from the inside. The cops, I'm sure, considered if he had window access, etc. It appears that no one pushed him. And, in addition to lyme and financial troubles, there may have been other matters that weighed heavily on him, too.
He may have not been pushed by a person, but was pushed by circumstances of illness or finances. Maybe even noise was the sudden push. For some with lyme, noise has driven them over the edge. I can relate to that with deep understanding, too.
I'm not thrilled talking about it and it feels invasive, yet, I so hope people are not too quick to judge him but rather to wish him peace, however that may work. I think it is important to hold everyone in the light. No matter what. -
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Rivendell
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Keebler, I agree that our society is very selfish. We blame, rather than try to understand.
I often think that as a society we could employ people to help those who are disabled from chronic illness - help with housework, etc.
I often think that people need money to help them survive while they go through the disability process.
Government jobs such as FDR set up during the Great Depression could be set up by our present day government to help disabled people. So many people are still out of work now.
And/or volunteers could do this. Maybe people have time on their hands and need to get out of the house.
I often think that we need living quarters for those who have been abandoned by families and friends due to their illness or disability. A nurturing environment - a group home of like souls who can emotionally support each other.
Dreams are the first step to positive change.
Now if I were fifthy rich, I would set this up. But there has to be a way to do it anyway.
All the self-help books on the book shelves never address chronic illness. People with Chronic Ilnness are swept under the rug and suffer persecution the same as minorities, etc.
So sorry to hear about his death. May he find peace.
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RDaywillcome
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I for one do not judge him. I know deep down in my heart that he is at peace. Some think that it's a selfish act but they have no idea how much pain one endures trying to fight this horrible disease, especially when it invades the brain.
I think it's beyond comprehension why this has not been addressed! No one should have to endure this much pain and yet we do.
Rest in peace Bryan. No more pain but I wish we could've helped you before you got to this point.
Posts: 1738 | From over the rainbow | Registered: Jul 2009
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Rumigirl
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Wizard, please make sure that your husband is getting all the help that he needs, in terms of pain meds, psychiatric meds, psychotherapy (LL sympathetic at least), treatment, of course, and help in those departments from nutrition, supplements, etc.
I know that it's a very tall order, esp financially. But it takes all the help we can muster in this fight. And you need support, too.
Posts: 3792 | From around | Registered: Mar 2008
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I'll admit to some doubt when I read the article. I see where it's likely that he took his life, but there are certainly some suspicious angles as well.
At any rate, I feel for his family who must be suffering so. I feel for this young man who felt he had no other option.
We absolutely need resources for those who are chronically ill!! Where I live, people go on and on about how "okies" pitch in during times of need. What they don't say is those "times of need" have to be something catastrophic. Chronic illness doesn't fall into the catastrophic category.
This is all so very sad. Heartbreaking. May he finally be at peace.
Posts: 624 | From Oklahoma | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
I hope the comments about not judging, etc. were not towards me as I did not mean to suggest that I'm trying to judge him or say anything negative about him whatsoever.
I absolutely understand the pain of lyme as I have been living with it for many years now, but only just finding out this year that that is what I have. Thankfully, I'm seeing some real improvements, especially this past week.
I was told, like many of us, that it's all in my head and perhaps I should see a psychiatrist. I have had many down days and can understand the feelings that may have gone through Brian's mind. And, I was in no way trying to belittle or judge him or his decision, if it was his decision.
My only intention was to question if this was really a suicide, especially the part of him landing "beneath a vehicle." That just hits me as suspicious.
Anyway, I truly apologize if I have offended or suggested anything negative towards Brian as that was not my intention whatsoever.
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Keebler
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- Sorry. Not at all about whether foul play was involved. As for being under a vehicle, many are far enough off the ground for someone to roll under. Or, if being driven, it may not have been able to stop but there was no note of a moving vehicle.
The comment about judging was mine - and not at all pointed to anyone -- just in general, the "public" who are often so quick to say suicide is cowardly or the easy way out -- and I was thinking of all those - in the GENERAL public who might say such a thing, being so unaware and uneducated of the complexity of lyme/TBD.
There were several such comments at one of the news articles. Others that dismissed him for being upset over something so "trivial" as lyme. Like he just had a bad day or had an stomach ache.
So, I just meant, in general. We hear that all the time. Still, even for myself, I find myself wondering if he did this or tried that. And that is judging to a degree. So, I was thinking of myself regarding the courtesy of just letting it go, trusting that he did the best he could, all things considered.
The details are not my business but yet, I find myself wondering so I have to be careful to wonder out of concern, not out of "well, if he had just done this. . . ." My mind can be quick to judge in ways that catch me off guard.
I do, however, make the observation that if the IDSA were not so horrific in their ignorance and denial, that many more lives would be saved. Not a judgement there; an educated observation. -
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