posted
My husband has Lyme and with that had complete memory loss back in Aug. He has since improved with his memory but still has a lot to get back. Because of the memory loss I am his advocate for his health. I have moments of panic. I feel like I am getting nowhere with trying to find the right doctor, the right tests to be done and the right therapy for him. The best part of our marriage was our conversations. We would talk about anything and everything. Deep meaningful conversations. I could always tell him how I was feeling and he would be able to always make me feel better. I tried to talk with him yesterday about everything that has happened since the summer and how I feel about his illness. He started to cry and said he was sorry for getting sick. That is not what I wanted to happen. I felt bad and changed the subject. He said he tries to understand what other people know but he just can't. It's not there anymore. This is a horrible disease and it has robbed my husband of his memory and me of my best friend. I know I should be grateful that he now remembers me and our son and our family but I want more. I want what we had before this disease. He is such a kind and gentle man and a good person. He doesn't deserve this, no one deserves this. During his memory loss I had so many people around me offering any help but with all the people near me I still felt lonely. I didn't have the man I married. I didn't have my friend to talk to. I just don't know how to handle this. I'm feel so overwhelmed and angry! Just needed to vent.
Posts: 10 | From Fredericksburg, VA | Registered: Nov 2010
| IP: Logged |
momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
It is heartbreaking to hear your story.
Is your husband receiving any treatment right now?
Did you post on here on the thread Seeking a Doctor for someone in your area yet?
It is the most difficult thing in the world to watch a loved one suffer through this illness because we, as caretakers, feel helpless and overwhelmed at times...we have grief on so many different levels.
It will be okay...it is a positive sign he has improved in his memory. One step at a time.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
posted
You might want to attend a support group meeting in your area, even if requires driving some distance. Don't know if there is one in your city. Try contacting NatCapLyme to see where they have chapters. That might help you feel less alone, like you have people you can turn to to get the best treatment for him. Maybe start a journal, so he can read it later when his mind is working better.
With treatment, chances are you will get him back. Sounds like you have a good one, one that deserves your best efforts to help. Maybe instead of telling him things that might backfire, tell him how much you appreciate him as a husband, that together you will find a way to make him better.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
scrapn12, I am sorry you and your family are going through this. My husband was never diagnosed with Lyme disease, though now that I know I have it and understand more about it, I believe he had it, too. He went through many changes in the last years of his life, including memory loss and significant personality alterations. Like you, I felt I'd lost my best friend and my husband. But he lost more, because he lost his sense of self. It was heartbreaking to see that. More than anything I wanted to make it better for him, and felt so helpless that I could not.
What helped me most during that time was finding a support group of other people who could understand what I was going through. They helped me be strong for my children, my husband, and for myself.
I hope with treatment your husband will continue to recover and you will both get back what you have lost. I hope you will continue to seek out people who can provide perspective, and that you will take out time to care for yourself (something I did not do, to the detriment of my own health).
By the way, I don't want anyone to be concerned about this post because my husband died. He had multiple medical problems for many years, and died of complications following heart surgery.
Posts: 212 | From San Francisco Bay Area, California | Registered: Aug 2010
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/