posted
I went undiagnosed w/ Lyme for probably 15 yrs. I also have other issues. I grew up in an abusive environment. Developed a trauma disorder as a kid. I have lyme on top of that which causes CNS symptoms and stuff. I started lyme tx late Sept of this year. It only got worse. The lyme controls so much of what I thought was psychiatric, i.e. panic attacks, shortness of breath, chest pain, depression. Mainly it's been a medical nightmare since I was a kid. It kept getting worse. Now I'm facing a huge dilemma. Does one stick this out when there is no real hope in sight. I require intense psychiatric treatment and at the same time I require intense lyme treatment. One without the other won't work. How is someone like me supposed to not want to kill herself if she is alienated and doesn't have friends to talk to and feels like this lyme is killing her slowly but surely. Been doing this for so many years. Truth is---I'm not crazy. had a bad childhood, but I'm not crazy, but how long does a person stay afloat before they call it quits. It's been 3mos on antibiotics.
-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
I eat super healthy. No sugar, gluten, dairy. Still developed yeast. Now on Diflucan for 7 days and if that doesn't work I'll have to dc antibiotics for a week llmd said. But what if I want a cookie for crying out loud. What was left of my life has withered away. This sucks.
-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
Suicide hotline - 1-800-273-8255
I'm sorry you've had such a bad time with your abusive environment and this wretched disease. How long does a person stick it out? As long as they need to!!!
I had emotional trauma from my childhood (I don't care to say here on the board publicly, but you may PM me for further explanation if it would help). I did find this trauma difficult to work through. I found EFT/tapping to be a HUGE help with it. Google EFT and tapping, and try it.
I had to use it on specific events that happened. Working on the whole time period is too much at once. I still have some events that I need to go over again and as new ones are brought up (ie, my mom posted old pics on Facebook recently and I remember lots of this stuff), then I have to tap for the new ones.
Three months is not long on antibiotics. I was very ill. I got completely better in three years between treatment for Lyme and other things I did, including tapping. I have a recent post on my blog that tells all about my Lyme battle - http://sixgoofykids.blogspot.com
Please call the suicide hotline. 1-800-273-8255
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Dear Sara33, Welcome to the supportive LymeNet Community!
I can empathize with your feelings of overwhelm now. There really IS much to be hopeful about, though.
Your feelings are important, and your life is valuable. There's a lot of pleasant living to be done AWAY from abusive situations, and you seem to recognize that.
There are hundreds of people on this board who can give you support, and dozens who may become some of the best friends you've ever had to date.
posted
If you have had this a long time, it is going to take quite a while to treat. You should be thinking of pacing your self so you can do a marathon. Don't be discouraged by this, it is a way of getting your mind prepared. And that will help a lot. And with treatment, you will be seeing some improvement. That will help your mental attitude too.
We are here for you. A lot of us have that problem with friends and family not understanding, which is why we need support groups, online and otherwise. You might want to see if there is a local support group you can attend. That will give you real people to talk to, in addition to online folks.
Lyme and the coinfections do cause psychiatric issues and there are some lyme literate psychiatrists you could see, probably have to travel, if you are able to. They can help you sort out what belongs to the past abusive environment and what belongs to physical disease processes.
Hang on. You are on the right road now, and there is hope.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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I've added spacing to your original post so it'll be easier for more members to read & respond.
Sara33 wrote:
I went undiagnosed w/ Lyme for probably 15 yrs. I also have other issues.
I grew up in an abusive environment. Developed a trauma disorder as a kid.
I have lyme on top of that which causes CNS symptoms and stuff.
I started lyme tx late Sept of this year. It only got worse.
The lyme controls so much of what I thought was psychiatric, i.e. panic attacks, shortness of breath, chest pain, depression.
Mainly it's been a medical nightmare since I was a kid. It kept getting worse.
Now I'm facing a huge dilemma. Does one stick this out when there is no real hope in sight.
I require intense psychiatric treatment and at the same time I require intense lyme treatment. One without the other won't work.
How is someone like me supposed to not want to kill herself if she is alienated and doesn't have friends to talk to and feels like this lyme is killing her slowly but surely.
Been doing this for so many years.
Truth is---I'm not crazy. had a bad childhood, but I'm not crazy, but how long does a person stay afloat before they call it quits. It's been 3mos on antibiotics.
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fflutterby
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28081
posted
Sweety, hang in there. I have been treating since Sept also. I have also had a bad childhood. Don't get mad but...You need a good therapist. I started with one and that is what turned the corner for me. There is hope. You are stronger than you think.
I wish I could have a cookie too, but I know I will suffer. There are many things you can have that will help your cravings. It does get better. Believe, pray and live your life. Don't get discouraged !
Also, try to spend time doing other things, that have nothing to do with this disease. Practice keeping your mind off it, do not dwell. Have faith !!! You will get better
You must address all of your levels. You need to release the emotional trauma. It is all connected.
-------------------- Psalm 46 1 God is our refuge and strength Posts: 1367 | From North Jersey | Registered: Sep 2010
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I have relocated to another state. I have a great psychiatrist. He's not lyme literate, but is starting to talk to my lyme doc more and is researching. I also have one of the best lyme docs. But I've suffered for so long. The laundry list of physical conditions grew over the years and now I'm just alienated, look like I'm anorexic in my opinion (although not really), but what if I want a cookie. I feel like it's like I have an eating disorder esp with the holidays coming up. I don't even want to go home to see my family b/c I feel so sick. I was misdiagnosed 9 yrs ago with Fibromyalgia, then IBS, intersitial cystitis, ear problems, TMJ, restless legs, low blood sugar, Thyroid abnormalities. I'm 30. All of these are lyme. I never could tolerate any medications for the most part. Esp anti-depressants. They never helped my mood b/c my depression was never chemical, it's environmental. I couldn't run anymore as of last may which was my main form of release. Lyme took that away too. Now I'm just pretty desperate. There is nothing that the hotline could tell me that I don't already know. I'm quite smart. I'm just not sure I"m cut out for this. There is a lot to think about. I have an army of support personnel, but it's not enough. It never was. And my family and what were my friends don't understand. I still don't quite understand. Every 2 weeks my mood goes insane and I can't differentiate b/w what is PTSD/depression or Lyme anymore. Ever since start of antibiotics all things got worse.
-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
I don't feel like I can work on my trauma issues, b/c if the lyme doesn't get better I don't want to live this. My life was stolen. All these yrs physical symptoms would come and go. Now I have developed numbness on my left cheek and lip, shoulder, down to hand. I was always a healthy person. It used to be that every doctor just thought it was in my head. Only thing was that labs would always come up with slight abnormalities that didn't make sense so further testing was always required along with an RX.
I'm glad I got the proper dx, but this is no life I got going on here. Do I call my psychiatrist and tell him that? I mean, he knows everything, but now he thinks I'm no longer at death's door. I've been trying to quit him, but he won't let me.
My memory and concentration have been terrible since last year. Learned that is Lyme. Can't read a book. I used to want to be a writer. I think I've abandoned that dream b/c my writing stinks now. I just don't know what to do...
-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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quote:Originally posted by Sara33: Thank you.
I have relocated to another state. I have a great psychiatrist. He's not lyme literate, but is starting to talk to my lyme doc more and is researching.
I also have one of the best lyme docs. But I've suffered for so long.
The laundry list of physical conditions grew over the years and now I'm just alienated, look like I'm anorexic in my opinion (although not really), but what if I want a cookie. I feel like it's like I have an eating disorder esp with the holidays coming up.
I don't even want to go home to see my family b/c I feel so sick.
I was misdiagnosed 9 yrs ago with Fibromyalgia, then IBS, intersitial cystitis, ear problems, TMJ, restless legs, low blood sugar, Thyroid abnormalities. I'm 30. All of these are lyme.
I never could tolerate any medications for the most part. Esp anti-depressants. They never helped my mood b/c my depression was never chemical, it's environmental.
I couldn't run anymore as of last may which was my main form of release. Lyme took that away too.
Now I'm just pretty desperate. There is nothing that the hotline could tell me that I don't already know.
I'm quite smart. I'm just not sure I"m cut out for this. There is a lot to think about.
I have an army of support personnel, but it's not enough. It never was.
And my family and what were my friends don't understand. I still don't quite understand.
Every 2 weeks my mood goes insane and I can't differentiate b/w what is PTSD/depression or Lyme anymore.
Ever since start of antibiotics all things got worse.
Dear Sara33, Added spacing again, because many members (me sometimes, too!) cannot read huge blocks of text.
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
Things do get worse on antibiotics before they get better.
I had Lyme over 30 years before diagnosis. I was bedridden and couldn't walk without help. I couldn't eat solid food. I had about 50 symptoms, including all that you mention except interstitial cystitis.
None of us are cut out for this. It's hard for everyone.
I went from bedridden to well. You can do it, too, but you have to fight.
Three weeks into antibiotic treatment is about the time you herx terribly. I'm sure that's contributing, especially since you're being treated for bartonella.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
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posted
quote:Originally posted by Sara33: I don't feel like I can work on my trauma issues, b/c if the lyme doesn't get better I don't want to live this.
The trauma is part of the problem. The emotions are tied up with the illness. I know it doesn't make sense, but it's true.
As far as the reading, I couldn't read either when I was sick. I can read books again. Three weeks into treatment I couldn't walk to the bathroom by myself.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Since starting antibiotics, you are killing spirochetes and making your symptoms worse with herxheimer reactions. This is a very hard stage to tolerate, especially if you were sick for a long time already and have used up a lot of coping power.
So, at this stage, what you need to think about is just the next day, not the next year and how you can stand it. Just one day, then another day. We really do understand.
I am thinking that even if you have an excellent psychiatrist, it would be good to put him in touch with a lyme literate psych. If you are interested in following up on this, send me a private message. I don't know if there are any in your state, but there are a couple on the east coast and your psych could talk to one of them. Or you could contact NatCapLyme and ask them if they know someone in the area. If you want to stick with the one you have, then it doesn't matter where the phone call is made.
OK, you want a cookie. Try nuts or popcorn instead. Not the same and the holidays are coming up with great temptations. But try it anyway.
Could you please type in paragraphs? A lot of us have a hard time reading solid blocks of text. Thanks.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
It took three years of treatment. If you go to my blog, I just happened to write a summary of my Lyme experience yesterday.
I treated with antibiotics for almost two years, then I switched over to alternative treatments and treated one more year. So, it took three years to be well. I had lots of ups and downs with treatment. I had good days and bad days. In the beginning it was bad days and worse days.
Take it one step at a time. Right now, that's working with your LLMD and your psychiatrist. Come here for support. Most here are still sick, so are going through what you're going through. Some of us, like me and Lymetoo (the other moderator) are now well.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Antibiotics made me feel so much worse emotionally, especially when on treatment for Bartonella.
When it is bad, I try to distact myself with a book, or a movie , or I hang out here a lot.
Before I know it, the day is done. Bedtime is really difficult and I feel really alone. So I always come here for support.
There are lots of really nice people around here. PM me if you need to chat or vent.
Going through Lyme treatment is the same as training for any type of sport, or training for a marathon. It's tough but the reward is worth it.
I think of it that way. Athletic training didn't kill me, it made me strong and proud of myself. I will be so proud of myself after I am well again after this treatment.
I guess I just think that I am so great and awesome. Look how tough I am, I can take it. If I can take this, and get through it, then I can conquer anything.
Maybe if you think that other people are wimpy, and you are tough. Maybe that will help. Then you know that you can accomplish anything. Maybe you can start a business or help others after you are well again. If you have survived this far, then the rest is so easy.
-------------------- I am not a doctor. I have no clue. Posts: 606 | From somewhere out there | Registered: Sep 2009
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posted
Is it possible SixGoofyKids that alternative is the way to go? I'm very into that approach. I always use functional doctors when I can. I firmly believe diet can cause and cure diseases. But who do you go to? Is it necessary to stay on antibiotics?
Is there a way to cure this naturally that will be less painful and take a load of all the psychiatric new symptoms that have come up?
I have many of the CNS symptoms and others that you describe in your blog.
Sara
-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
Sara, the way you retrieve your private messages is to click on "my profile" up at the top of this page, right under "post new topic."
I will not have much to say on alternative methods of treating lyme disease because I don't think you can do it without antibiotics. Maybe other people do.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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sixgoofykids
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11141
posted
You will still have to deal with psychiatric symptoms. Emotions have to be dealt with as part of healing.
Diet alone is not enough to clear Lyme Disease any more than diet can clear strep throat. Yes, I agree that poor diet can be disease causing, but this is a bacterial infection.
I used a specific treatment with a doctor in Germany. If you go to October 2008 in my blog I write about it there.
I think that herbs can be used in conjunction with abx, but in my experience, herbs alone were not enough.
-------------------- sixgoofykids.blogspot.com Posts: 13449 | From Ohio | Registered: Feb 2007
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posted
Sara33, stick around here. There are so many who have walked in your shoes.
Three months on abx is not unusual...in fact, 3 months is on the short side of treatment. I've yet to hear of anyone getting well after just a few months of treatment.
You are not alone in that you feel alienated and that "friends" have dropped out of your life. So many of us here have experienced that.
Please consider us here to be your friends as you go through this.
Hope is always in sight, even when we are at our sickest and can't see it. That light at the end of the tunnel can take an awfully long time to appear.
Honey, please, please trust that this hell you are living in won't last forever.
You have taken a huge first step in advocating for your health by asking the lymenet community for help and support.
And as you can see, there are so many here who are willing to help you through the difficulties.
-------------------- You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
---Eleanor Roosevelt Posts: 748 | From somewhere | Registered: May 2010
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Dear Sara33, You needn't apologize. I was new here in the Spring...
You're getting lots of positive, appropriate messages from LymeNetters.
Suicidal thoughts are common with LD, esp bartonellosis, but I esp appreciate what missing just posted above. You gotta know you're tougher than bacteria. You are! You're taking action, and your body will respond to treatment.
You, Sara33, are smart and resourceful. You're already ahead of the game with a healthy diet and a fine LLMD! Those are both key to getting into long-term remission.
Your childhood abuse, traumas, PTSD are all horrific. No one deserves any of that. Those mega environmental stressors set you up to be more susceptible to LD.
But you're 30, and you can still read & write. We'll help you warm up for this marathon.
You can still have a writing career in years to come! Lyme-Aware writers will find audiences...
I've been infected with Lyme & co's more than 40 yrs. Have had many of the dx you listed (colitis, fibromyalgia, etc).
Also, had decades of blood work flagged outside normal limits, but my ducky PCP wouldn't help me.
Varsity letter in track, but could only crawl up my stairs earlier this year and became breathless just getting my mail. Had to sit in an electric cart in order to buy groceries.
Numerous HUGE external stressors the past couple yrs became more than my immune system could take, and by spring, my reading level fell quickly to about 2nd or 3rd grade. I developed mannerisms like the autistic teen I'd tutored in English, and had many signs of early onset Alzheimers (I'm not even 50 yet).
BUT, I've an excellent LLMD now! - I can read & comprehend scientific journal articles again. - My handwriting improved after becoming worthless. - I can walk again, can run short spurts sometimes, a bit of stairs are ok. - I get blood work every month and EVERYTHING keeps coming back WNL! Unreal! After more than 20 years with NO normal labs, now all my blood work is great! - November was my best month in several years. That was my 4th month of tx.
Sara33, keep reaching out, keep reading and learning.
Thanks to the people here, I found the LLMD who treats me appropriately.
I have hope & plan to get into long-term remission. You can, too.
As for getting others to understand, that's a very slow process. Everyone's true colors show when you have LD.
Have you seen Under Our Skin? You may wish to buy the dvd from Open Eye Pictures, then think about a caring person or two to share it with.
Goodnight now.
Be warmed with the thoughts of the people here you care & support you. Smile
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Hambone
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posted
Sara,
First I want to say, I'm so sorry you are having to go through this. We didn't deserve this.
I want to mention that, for me, I was wrongly put on a benzo because I was told my problem was "just" panic disorder.
I had no idea how fast your body can become dependent on them, nor did I know they are central nervous system depressants.
If taken regularly, they can cause depression all by themselves.
I don't know if you take them, but 99% of people in the hands of a psychiatrist are usually put on them for one reason or another.
It could be the psych meds making you feel lousy on top of Lyme.
I'm NOT telling you to stop taking them. Never ever do that. Just be aware that they cause nasty side effects in some people.
I am very medication sensitive, too, and they make me want to die. I have to avoid them.
I have childhood trauma, as well. SixGoofyKids is right. EFT and tapping really help with that.
Whenver I feel like I can't do this anymore, I will write about what I'm feeling on a support forum.
It helps tons.
Then I will go do a faceplant on the bed and be still and just be. I will lay there for 2-3 hours and just zone out and regroup.
Sometimes I need to do this 5 times a day.
I am 2 months on abx and I so feel your pain and frustration.
Go read the success stories over and over and over when you lose your hope. It really helps.
Hugs to you....I hope you feel better real soon.
Posts: 1142 | From South | Registered: Dec 2010
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It won't cure you, but it might help some. While I was never abused or never in a war, it helped me deal with the extreme abuse my body inflicted upon itself, and abuse from doctors and medical community. I ended up in the ER too many times feeling like I was dying, and it was very traumatic. What even made it more traumatic is when doctors told me it was in my head after my heart rate was over 200 bpm and blood pressure 240/160 (stroke range). I had times that I was transferred from a highway to a hospital. I do believe I was tortured as I couldn't imagine anything more torturous. I started not trusting anyone or myself, but at the same time had huge fear of being alone.
It's a really simple treatment, and one that seems too easy to be real. However, the therapy does bring our traumatic memories, so that can be really hard to deal with initially. Out of the many psychotherapeutic treatments I have tried, this one had a positive effect. I had flashbacks and nightmares of all the traumatic events that I had in my life (primarily illness and doctors but some not abuse related stuff from childhood came up as well). I had very morbid and vivid dreams about death and putting dead bodies on gurneys while I was previously not dreaming. While this may sound negative, it somehow had a positive effect in the end. Counseling, neurofeedback, biofeedback, and many other techniques did nothing.
I can't explain how it works, as it all seems voodoo. It might be worth a try to find a therapist familiar with EMDR.
So sorry to hear that you would be thinking of ending your life. Please remember that this to will pass. Things will get better, then not so good, then better! : ) It's life - beautiful, ugly, sad, happy, crazy, peaceful, empty, full . . .
Hold on to the good things and try to stay positive. I know that's hard to do sometimes, but there are things you can do that may help. Some good suggestions in comments above.
Also, I think if you are able to exercise that would be a big benefit. Perhaps some yoga, stretching and deep breathing, walking, and meditation too.
I just purchased a book called, "Recipes for Repair A Lyme Disease Cookbook." I've only had it for two days, but the couple of recipes I've tried have been very good. It is based on Dr. S's lyme inflammation diet; he consulted and wrote the forward in the book too.
There are some recipes that I think would satisfy your craving for the cookies. If you are interested in it, you can check it out here:
posted
Sara - I think it's good you're reaching out here - so many of us understand -
Couple things - my nonyeast doctor thought it was ok to cheat once a week and have something I wanted as long as I didn't fall off the diet because of it - so he would say you could have one cookie once a week! just one!
Then I found that I lost my interest in sugary things after I was on the diet a little while.
Another way to handle to sweets is to do a step-down diet - eat sweet fruit instead of sugar, then cut out the sweet fruit once you're over the sugar-crave stage.
Another way to think about all of this - that you have an opportunity to heal from everything - not only feel better as you treat these infections, but also to heal from abuse and trauma - it can be done. And you will be a happier, more fulfilled person.
Even if it doesn't seem real to you yet, I don't think it would be a bad idea to start making a list of some affirmations of what you'd like life to be like.
Like having friends. Which by the way, you can start with right here -
Like enjoying what you can eat - keep exploring that one here -
Like feeling happier about your prospects - which you'll have more opportunity to have as you work to transform what doesn't work for you right now.
When I transform the memory of something abusive within myself, I first articulate exactly what it is I don't like or want, then I say what I do want.
And then an interesting process is literally to replay the situation the way you would have preferred to have lived it -
like to recreate your own life theatre, and act it out as much as you want.
This can be a very creative process and a fairly safe one, since you're doing it just for yourself at this level.
You could even write about it as you do it, and involve your writing interest. If you like to write, then try including that as part of the process - if you can. Otherwise, don't sweat it.
Hang in there -
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I've had so many people say, "you'll come out of this so much stronger and you'll be able to help others with what you've learned." Blah blah blah. I don't wanna help anybody. I just want to tell them "who cares." I just want to be myself, to feel good again.
But for what it's worth, you're already helping others, just by posting here. This is a beautiful thread, full of wonderful, life giving affirmations. And it's only here because you chose to open up and share your deepest fears with us. So thank you for that.
You're stronger than you think.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
I didnt read all the replies. I hope youre doing ok.
I too have similar issues as you.
But What I wanted to say is if you want aa cookie have a cookie!!! you cant deprive yourself 24/7. its just not healthy.
others will likely rip me for this saying you will get yeast and such. but its my opinion and experience,.
let us know how your doing
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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posted
Well, the truth is that one bite of a cookie, then throw the rest away.....that worked for me. Just a taste took away the craving. Yeast can cause the craving. They want those carbs!
For about six months a long time ago, at the start of my treatment, I did the total diet. It was hard and finally I had to be less strict. The low glycemic diets help. If you are going to do carbs, some are better than others.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
I cringe daily when I think of what I was compared to now. God can't let this go on forever. I can't say think optimistic, it's a disease in your brain that makes u think otherwise. I try to keep distracted, but sometimes nothing helps. Were in the same boat. Keep treating and pray. Onr day hopefully this will be a thing of the past that we never want to remember.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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METALLlC BLUE
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 6628
posted
You make a firm decision whether or not you believe it's possible to recover. If you believe in possibility, then you can choose whether you wish to go forward to the bitter end and the disease takes you, or you can choose to take your own life.
Personally, I chose -- despite crippling depression and suicidal feelings -- to fight to the end. If I win, fine. If I lose, it won't be by my own hand or choice.
It's possible to recover even when it appears that all options have been exhausted. When it appears that way, just wait a little longer and usually another option appears, or a different way of seeing things.
-------------------- I am not a physician, so do your own research to confirm any ideas given and then speak with a health care provider you trust.
On an entirely different note, I still have yeast and have an appt with Dr. S tomorrow to discuss going to a someone who can do this naturally. I'm guessing that is a bad sign as well.
Do you all get better? The ones that are on this website? Or do you guys all struggle like hell? Are there people that fully recover? Fully? Fully better?
How do you distinguish b/w what is lyme and what is reality?
-------------------- Sara Posts: 8 | From MD | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
yes there are people here who are fully fully better. Hang out for awhile and you'll see their posts and realize a cure is more common than you think.
Posts: 707 | From Colorado | Registered: Jul 2010
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posted
Sara, I'm so sorry you are suffering so badly. I was exactly where you were one year ago. Please read my thread under General " A Success Story this holiday season."
I talk about my suicide attempt and how thankful I am to be alive now. I NEVER thought I would get better. I NEVER thought I would be without pain. But I am!!!
I am living life again, laughing, playing with my kids. I'm not cured, but 99 percent back to living. I was sick 10 years with this disease and it almost killed me.
Please know that I didn't see ANY improvements until around 6 months. Keep going! Keep fighting! And have your psychiatrist or counselor watch "Under our Skin". It might help them understand.
I had major psychiatric symptoms while starting treatment. They went away, slowly, bit by bit. I occasionally have mood swings, but I'm back to my old self!
My heart hurts for you cause I know what it's like. Please visit my blog also. www.mommalyme.com
Keep fighting! Just tell yourself to take each day one by one. Love, Brandi
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![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
There really IS much to be hopeful about, though.
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