The fear that this is the symptom/herx that will do you in?
The fear of going to sleep and not waking up?
I try to think positive, I pray, I have a decent support system, I have supps and an LLMD. Yet I am scared ALL.THE.TIME.
I feel ruined and angry and bitter. I want to get better and I want to feel normal. My children and my husband deserve so much better!
Feeling down, trying to figure out how this disease can cause so much pain and agony. Not understanding why so many docs, etc. say LD doesn't exist...when it appears so many are suffering from it.
2.5 years of hell and I'm still kicking. Just so tired of it all.
momlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 27775
posted
Saying a prayer for you.
This too shall pass. Better days are ahead of you!
-------------------- May health be with you!
Toxic mold was suppressing our immune systems, causing extreme pain, brain fog and magnifying symptoms. Four days after moving out, the healing began. Posts: 2007 | From NY/VT Border | Registered: Aug 2010
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TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
When I got like that, I took medication which got me back to normal. Saw a good psychiatrist and it didn't take long.
This is a terrible way to have to live each day.
Please, get some help. It is wonderful to wake up and be normal again !!! all thanks to a pill.
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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posted
You will get past the fear because you have no choice.
It is difficult to deal with. Keep thinking positive and praying as that surely helps.
TF is right---get some help. You are experiencing emotional pain. A good lyme-literate psychiatrist and/or naturopath could help you get through this with meds and/or supps. And it wouldn't hurt to talk to a LL therapist.
I certainly understand how you feel---ruined and angry and bitter, and how your family deserves better.
We are in year 5 of lymehell and like you, I do not understand why so many in the medical field can easily dismiss CLD as non-existent when this has been my reality. I am very tired of it all too.
But I can't focus on that. I have to stay focused on doing what it takes to get my family well.
And you need to focus on doing what it takes to get YOU well.
-------------------- You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
---Eleanor Roosevelt Posts: 748 | From somewhere | Registered: May 2010
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posted
Thank you I was feeling awful yesterday and was really questioning everything, including my treatment and llmd.
I have many good days--days where I actually feel like a person. And then it all starts over and I'm in hell again. I just wish I could know, for certain, that I'm doing the right thing.
I'm not depressed. At least not in the typical sense. However, I am full of anxiety over my health.
TF, Are you referring to an antidepressant? Back when this all started, when I was actually much, much worse, my PCP prescribed Cymbalta...then Zoloft...Ativan...Xanax...none of them did a thing!
I take that back...Zoloft made me gain some poundage and I *might* have felt like my head was a bit more clear. Other than that? Nothing much.
sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
I never could take antidepressants, but my LLMD put me on a mood medication, Risperdal, and it has really helped me deal with this illness.
Not saying you need this type of med. I was having major mood swings and obsessing over my illness and this medication was a life saver for me. One day I would be fine and the next I would fall apart. Now I am more on an even plane.
Anyway, its just another medication to consider just in case.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
I had very bad panic and depression about a month ago-tried cymbalta and xanax and lexepro finally got pretty stabilized on clonazapam and remeron also try a little wellbutrin but it makes me nauseous. Of course you are anxious about your health that is natural..we have good days and bad..today is a good psyche day for me mood wise but bad body wise, hands ache, joints ache......hope you feel better soon.
desertwind
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25256
posted
That is a dreadful space to be in...I hope you can find some light in the darkness...
For me, the desire to get my life back is greater then any fear that lyme (or anything else) could instill in me. But that does not mean I don't have days when I need to just hide under the covers, but I always come back out...
[ 01-25-2011, 04:30 PM: Message edited by: desertwind ]
Posts: 1671 | From Tick Infested New Jersey | Registered: Apr 2010
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I was feeling awful yesterday and was really questioning everything, including my treatment and llmd. 
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