posted
i've just been recently diagnosed(late last year) with late stage lyme disease, babesia and who knows what other company(treating since january w/mepron and biaxin) my family is really supportive but...
today my boyfriend told me my whole life revolves around my illness. i should try and think of other things to talk to him about other than how i'm feeling, what hurts, what feels better, etc
this is hard to hear. i'm living it and i'm just now able to know that many of the things i was dealing with are not my fault. i dont think i obsess about it.
i've researched some, through the duration of my diagnosis. i feel better though, i'm starting to do things i like again which makes it a lot easier to take my mind off of this.
but how can you put out of your mind something that has been such an intrusive part of my life and it's actually changing now.
huh. maybe this is just my brain being sick. this is what sucks, i cant really trust my judgement at thius point.
am i overreacting? is he being selffish or am i letting this consume me? huh
Posts: 60 | From central nj | Registered: Feb 2011
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posted
i totally agree with you. All i can talk about with my boyfren is my disease. Its like its all my life is wrapped around now. Its like no one understands but us who is going thru it. I think he's definetly being selfish
-------------------- Neuro-Lyme (possible bart) Symptoms started Jan 2011::Diagnosed Feb 11th,2011:: *Anything is possible thru God who strengthens me* Posts: 775 | From Pennsylvania | Registered: Feb 2011
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posted
How has he handled your sickness until he said this today? It's hard to make a judgment based on one comment. Has he been generally supportive or unsupportive?
If he is supportive than I would say that there probably is some truth to his suggestion. Though it is what we are living with all the time, the reality is that our partners are not and they need a break sometimes.
I think it also does us some good to try and think about the other parts of our lives when we can.
However, if he is not generally supportive, then the relationship is not good for your health, IMO.
-------------------- "Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain." Anonymous Posts: 450 | From California | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
he's been extraordinarily supportive. your advice is the same i got from my mother, 4seasons, thanks
nicole, i dont think anyone does understand what it feels like. i couldnt describe it in words
Posts: 60 | From central nj | Registered: Feb 2011
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posted
Yeah thats why we cant get to mad because no one can understand but us
-------------------- Neuro-Lyme (possible bart) Symptoms started Jan 2011::Diagnosed Feb 11th,2011:: *Anything is possible thru God who strengthens me* Posts: 775 | From Pennsylvania | Registered: Feb 2011
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
Even though my hubby has been extremely supportive of my illness for the past 5 years; it is still stressful for our healthy partners to have to hear about illness all the time. Try to focus and talk about other things with your significant other. It will be good for you and for your relationship.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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quote: am i overreacting? is he being selffish or am i letting this consume me? huh
A little bit of both, maybe. Yes, you are letting this consume you. That's natural. Just think of the time he started his new job (or whatever), that's all he could talk about and you really kinda got sick of hearing about it after awhile -not that he's not important to you...
And, yes. He is being a bit selfish. Why? (it sounds so mean!) My opinion: you're talking to him about things he can do nothing to help you with. Men are problem-solvers. He can't make it go away. Irrational? Yes, but who said men are rational? I'll answer that. Men say that.
You need to focus on other things. Learn how to make this just a part of your life, not your whole life. Don't give it more time and attention than it deserves.
Posts: 797 | From New York | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
I understand completely! I've only been recently diagnosed and not on treatment long. The nerve and spinal pain I have consumes me right now. I feel guilty thinking I'm being so "selfish" but it's all I can think about at times. I hate it for my 15 year old son. I try to be brave and upbeat for him but sometimes I can't. Now with upcoming iv treatments I will probably experience what happens when the antibiotics start working and the bacteria starts fighting! I am following your post so I too can get advice. Another thing is, I'm not in a relationship and I so bad want to meet someone to be in my life but I think...what's the point right now. I get very lonely alot.
Posts: 21 | From Indiana | Registered: Mar 2011
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posted
Indy, It's hard to parent when you're in this position. Just remember the hardest thing about it is the pressure you put on yourself. be gentle and forgiving with yourself.
Remember also that the fear of what's to come is sometimes worse than what actually comes next.
Posts: 797 | From New York | Registered: Feb 2008
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YOUR FAMILY LOVES YOU AND ONLY WANT YOU TO GET BETTER. THEY MAY GET FRUSTRATED SOME TIMES, BUT THEY UNDERSTAND YOU'RE SICK. I THINK OF IT AS THEM BEING UPSET WITH THE DISEASE. YOU'RE GETTING BETTER AND ITS FOR YOU AND YOUR FAMILY.
YOU'LL BE BETTER IN NO TIME! IT JUST SEEMS LIKE SLOW MOTION NOW.
I'M JUST STARTING TO COME OUT OF THIS CRAZY WHIRLWIND THAT HAS BEEN GOING ON AROUND ME FOR THE LAST 6 OR SO YEARS.
WE ARE VERY LUCKY TO HAVE THE KNOWLEDGE AND SUPPORT SO VITAL TO US LYMIES.
STAY STRONG, YOUR BODY(AND SOME ANTIBIOTICS) WILL KILL THOSE BUGGERS. Posts: 60 | From central nj | Registered: Feb 2011
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