lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
When your so lost, mentally tired, always had it, but soul s lost. Asking for prayers causei can't. I try but everything s empty. I've forwarded emails, begged God, just what's important in my lifevto stay that way. I feel like I'm dead. Have ll psych but am in a bad place. Thanks.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Dearest lyme in Putnam,
I am sorry that you are suffering so much.
God wants you to know that He is near and he knows what is in your heart.
He is the God of all comfort and hope.
He is near to the brokenhearted and those under trials.
He doesn't promise that we won't have trials, but He does promise to always be right there beside us the whole way.
Psalm 34:18 (NIV)
18 The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.
James 1:12 (NIV)
12 Blessed is the one who perseveres under trial because, having stood the test, that person will receive the crown of life that the Lord has promised to those who love him.
I replied to your post on the God Thought thread also, and I mention there what has helped me....
I am praying for you...for healing, comfort, and peace.
You are loved by an awesome God who will never leave you.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
I used to ask myself the same thing. However, I never and WILL never give up in Christ.
Here is how I see it... I think that this is God's plan (not the greatest of plans ) But nonetheless there IS a reason for you going through this.
Example: When I was younger I was totally oblivious to health issues, other people, etc. Now, I think about theses items on a daily basis. This I believe is me being the person that God wants me to be. I guess it just takes some of us longer to figure out.,
You are a strong person, don't ever give up faith. God would not do this to you if he didn't think you could handle it. There is a reason. Try to pay attention to the little things and signs that are nuggets into your completed project.
Prayers Fuel
-------------------- IgM- 31,34,39,83-93 IND IgM- 41+
IgG- 31,34,39,83-93 IND IgG- 41++ Posts: 610 | From Lymeville | Registered: Nov 2010
| IP: Logged |
posted
Answers will come. Solutions will come. They may already be there, but you're not yet ready to see them. You will be.
I know it. I'm praying for it, too.
Posts: 797 | From New York | Registered: Feb 2008
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Dear lyme in Putnam,
I am so deeply sorry for all you've gone through and for what you're going through now. I read your post on God Thought, too, and responded on that thread. If I could, lyme in Putman, I would reach through the computer screen and give you a great big hug for the longest time.
You ask, "How do u get faith back?"
That is a very good question. And this has been my experience with my God...
There have been times in my life that I could not, not one more time, pull myself up by my bootstraps (so to speak). I could not say "the right words". I could not say "the right prayer". I could not do anything to help get me out of the dark, deep, pit I seemed to be stuck in. I could not do for myself.
I cried out to God pouring out my heart. I was at rock bottom. I was actually just going to stay in bed and not get out (that was my plan as I seemed to not have any strength).
An amazing thing happened as I laid in my bed, all alone and feeling so very alone, exhausted, not even being able to read my Bible, feeling so forlorn and, well, you get the idea ______ (just feel in the blank).
It is as if my Lord Jesus came to me as I laid in bed. He sat on the bed next to me. He helped me sit up. He hugged me for the longest time, and I was deeply touched in the very depth of my being. (No, I'm not talking about physically and yet it was so real.) What I realize in hindsight is that He was always there with me. He never left me. Even when it was really dark...well, to Him even dark is as light (See Psalm 139).
Anyway, it was not something I did...it was something He totally initiated. It was not because of my words. It was not because of my great faith.
I'm not saying that the circumstances instantly changed around me, but I am saying that I was being held by my Creator and I knew that "it was well with my soul."
I could sense His LOVE for me, which was so amazing as tears streamed down my face. And I had strength from Him to put one foot in front of the other as I continued this journey on ol' broken earth...I was not alone and I knew I never would be alone.
This beautiful verse came to my mind from 2 Timothy 2:13, "If we are faithless, He will remain faithful."
That has been my experience. When I felt that I had lost faith, when I had been beaten down, my Jesus has been faithful to me...not just once...BUT EVERY TIME.
I am convinced that what He has done for me...He can and will do for you. I have seen Him do this for others, too. We serve a faithful God!
And so precious lyme in Putnam, may it be the same with you...that's may prayer for you.
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Thank you. All of you your faith is amazing. He as helped you at bad times, I used to know me, but the depersonalization makes me feel I don't know I am. This scares me. I cry I want my mommy, grow up, I'm 47, but she knew me. She passed away 13 years ago and she was my best friend. I had a dream before this happened she was crying. You just get so tired everyday not feeling yourself. Literally. Be well and thank you. God bless.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
Boy, can I ever relate to wanting your mommy statement...geeze, I felt the same way for a long time when my daughter got ill...my parents have been gone decades, (died when I was in my early 20's)...yet, for some reason, I just wanted my mom and was angry for the first time that I did not have her...I know she would of known how to help me. I didn't have her to lean on, so was "forced"? to lean on Him.
So, it isn't strange to have that feeling, I don't think.
So sorry for you...I know that He will hold onto you even when you cannot hold onto Him.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
momindeep shares,
"So sorry for you...I know that He will hold onto you even when you cannot hold onto Him."
Beautiful how He does that!
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
RDaywillcome
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 21454
posted
You just look at the news, and see what the country of Japan is going through. They have it at lot more worse than we do.
PRAY FOR ALL THOSE FROM JAPAN!
Posts: 1738 | From over the rainbow | Registered: Jul 2009
| IP: Logged |
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
I do. Bad news all around for them.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
LymeinPutnam, I feel your pain, my heart goes out to you. I wish that I could pull you out of that deep dark pit, give you a hug, and wipe your tears away.
Please know that you are not alone. We care and most importantly Jesus cares. He really does.
We all go through times of darkness, sometimes it feels like there is no end. Try not to harden your heart during this time. God is there even if you can't see Him or feel Him right now. When the time is right He will reveal His presence to you.
This may sound corny but listening to Christian radio (K-Love) has helped encourage me when I really needed it. God has used the lyrics to the songs to remind me of His truths. And often when I don't know how to express a thought or feeling in my heart a song will come along that helps give me the words to talk to God.
And remember even when you don't have the words or thoughts express yourself in prayer the Holy Spirit knows what is in your heart and He can speak for you.
Sending hugs, prayers, and love your way...
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
lyme in Putnam, Hugs and prayers for you tonight.
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
He is always there no matter what we are going thru. Sometimes in the darkness we just have to trust He is there. Friends hold me up in prayer when I can't go a step further. You have had many prayers for you....friends come from many different places! Sweet dreams and my prayers are with you.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged |
Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
He is always there no matter what we are going thru. Sometimes in the darkness we just have to trust He is there. Friends hold me up in prayer when I can't go a step further. You have had many prayers for you....friends come from many different places! Sweet dreams and my prayers are with you.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged |
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Thank you. I slept last night. If the depersonalization goes, I'm back. One step at a time and appreciate all your prayers. Thank you. I just miss me and what is important in my life. The life and importance went away, asked God to get me back to my life. I hope you all feel better and get through this. It's a sick vicious illness that feels as it can take your soul. God bless.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
lyme in Putnam,
So glad you slept last night!
You may feel like "you are not you" but you ARE. You ARE still there. (Feelings, as a said before, can be so deceptive.)
You are so much more than this "sick vicious illness". For now, things are different than what you expected, but it's temporary.
Just a few things that have not changed,
You are precious You are loved with an everlasting love You are never alone God's plans for you ARE good.
Praying you sense His presence and peace.
Your bottom line, "Keep goin when you think you can't" reminds me of one of my favorite verses, "I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength" (Philippians 4:13).
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
lyme in Putnam,
Does your LL psych know how bad you are feeling right now?
Are there any psych meds that could be changed to help you?
daisy is right....you are loved, precious and never alone.
May you feel the arms of the Lord comforting you.
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
28 ``Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Yes, I went to psych. changed meds yesterday. Added a little of one thing. This stuff takes time to kick in. Changes day to day and I hate the instability. depersonalization, ocd/anxiety and lyme. good combo huh? Just to feel life again. This stuff kinda just makes you accept how you feel, but its not me. One day at a time, trying to keep busy. Thanks for all your kind words. I'm hoping we all get out of this hell with the love and conviction we came in with. God bless.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Dekrator, glad you mentioned about meds. I was planning to bring this up too.
When going through "rough times" a person can become depleted of essential chemicals the body needs to function and think properly. Even depression is linked to these chemicals.
Of course, you all probably know that already.
Anyway...
lyme in Putnam, so glad you shared with your psych and got your meds adjusted.
I'm praying you see light at the end of the tunnel a lot sooner than you have even thought.
You share, "I'm hoping we all get out of this hell with the love and conviction we came in with. God bless."
I love what you wrote!
You know how people that have cancer/even while they're going through it, just to get up another day and keep going they are labeled "Cancer Survivors".
Well, lyme in Putnam" You are not only a Lyme Survivor you are a Lyfe Survivor!
God bless you!
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
We all are. Meds make u feel numb, but I know what I was and I hope I get back to spontaneous thinking, and recognize me again. I'm just lost. Thanks again.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Your not lost....we know exactly where you are.
Sending you prayers of healing and hope....always hope.
Sending Angels to wrap their wings around you and lift your spirit to a kinder, gentler place.
Those dark days are so dark.
Hold on.....there is a light at the end.
God never leaves us.
Continue to believe.
I have hope enough for both of us.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
lyme in Putnam, very well said, "We all are."
Yes, that's true, not only Lyme Survivors we are Lyfe Survivors!!!
Geneal, Great what you posted, WOW!!!
I am with Geneal, "I have hope enough for both of us"...so that like multiplies the hope!
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Just scared thatch lost the me I remember for 47 years. Spontaneous, thinking on her own, fun, made plans, lme who she was instead of obsessions if I'm not me who am I. I could be .....mybe I am....things I would never think of in a normal frame of mind. Hate waking up taking a tranquilizer for the shaking. How to be strong in my own skin when u convince yourself u don't know who your own skin is. I knew for so long, actually liked I, not in love with it, but it was just me. I feel like I dont know what just me is. Thanks for your support. If anyone feels like that, please let me know. I don't want to live in limbo. Anyhing I used to like or love seems so distant, not even interested. I'm trying. I have a supportive husband and. Near 16 year old. I do what I'm supposed to do, but my mind is so furthesrpt from what it was. It has to come back without me thinking about it. My mind is my worst enemy. Genetic OCD and Lyme are not a good mix. Prayed last night, this a, but numb prayer. The depersonalization is so bad I imagine I could be someone else. My psych said lumen, depersonalization, OCD anxiety going on. Thanks for your ear and prayers. I was such a family oriented person, now I feel as if I'm a confused person with never-ending thoughts. Maybe the OCD Meds will kick in. I miss shopping, plans with friends, watching tv shows that i liked, cuddle with my husband, yell (and love) my 15 year old, having conviction and a mind of my own. Innmy own world of unreality. You've been more than kind reading this. I wish you all good health mental and physical. Thank you again. Can you lose yourself after 47 years? I don't want to. I always believed in god, I'm just nmb to all now.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
posted
Prayers for you, lyme in Putnam, When you can't seem to pray, simply say the name of Jesus. That in itself is a prayer. Over and over if you need to. You will find peace in Him, Everyone is right, He will never leave you. Keep calling on Him. He loves you so very much.
God bless all of you here, what a compassionate group of friends we have.
Posts: 246 | From south florida | Registered: Mar 2010
| IP: Logged |
sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Hugs LymeinPutnam. I barely know you and yet I care so much. Think how great our heavenly Father's love for you must be!
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Thank you. I got scared at first reading and listening, but then reversing it meant all.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
| IP: Logged |
daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
Dekrator, WOW, what an awesome video! Everyone needs to watch that!
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[group hug]](graemlins/grouphug.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
) But nonetheless there IS a reason for you going through this. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic