merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
i am going through some terrible things right now. Some i can tell you about, but most i cant get into here.
Am sick and i am pregnant. I am suffering in so many ways right now physically and emotionally. I find myself saying how id i get my self into this mess? How am i going to get out of this mess? My baby appears perfectly fine so far, for that i am greatful. I honestly feel like i am going to die. I am up right now bcause i am afraid to sleep and not wake up.
There are other things going on right now in my life that are severe and its breaking my heart. I am scared.
I want to pray about it but i just dont. Its like i cant anymore. Maybe i am a little mad at God right now. They say he only gives you what you can handle. I dont think i can handle all this stuff. What have i done so wrong in my life that i deserve all that has been dealt to me? I am honestly a good person. I rescued hundreds of animals in my life. Its just blow after blow now. When does the maddness ever stop? Please send some prayers and good vibes this way if you can..
Tracy9
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7521
posted
Praying for you, Melissa. Sending lots of love and light your way. Hoping to rally our fellow Lymenetters who are interested into an online baby shower as soon as we know if we are going to be Aunties or Uncles! Yes that is the Lyme brained line I was writing!!! LOL!!!
Okay...as soon as we know if we are having a niece or a nephew! We are all here for you. You are a wonderful person and you don't deserve to be suffering. You are always there for everyone else. I hope our friends will joint me in trying to help you prepare for this baby and that will be one small thing off your shoulders!
13 years Lyme & Co.; Small Fiber Neuropathy; Myasthenia Gravis, Adrenal Insufficiency. On chemo for 2 1/2 years as experimental treatment for MG. Posts: 4480 | From Northeastern Connecticut | Registered: Jun 2005
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Up with prayers. God has to be there. Even when I don't feel I believe, carry something with God with you. A necklace, a prayer, even if your mad at him, I feel that way all the time with him but he knows your heart. One minute at a time.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
Tracy, You are such a good friend to me! I really didnt think i was going to have any more kids so i gave all my baby stuff to a single lymie mom. All i have is a bassinet, but it has been in the attic for 5 years. I worry that it is going to be ruined. I should probably check it out. So yes, i am worried about how i will get the baby gear we need. I am not due till august, so i do have a little time.
I have the big anatomy u/s for the baby tomorrow. This is where they check the baby from head to toe. There is a slight concern about if the baby is growing well. Its mostly due to the fact i have lost 20 pounds and can barely eat. but i lost weught with my first as well, actually my second too. They were an ok size. They also want to make sure the baby doesnt get to big because i have diabetes.
I am hoping the baby is doing great in there and i hope they can tell the sex. I hope that seeing the baby and learning the sex will give me some hope.
I have a lot of other stuff going on too but it is too painful to share right now.
Lyme in putnam, Thank you for your kind words. I appreciate the prayers.
Thanks everyone m
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Melissa,
God is close to the brokenhearted and crushed in spirit.
He loves you with an everlasting love.
He does not promise that we won't have trials and burdens, but He does promise that He will always be here for us every moment of everyday.
I empathize with you about the difficulties.....the last 15 months have been especially difficult for me, not only due to lyme, but lots of family problems.
The thing that has helped me the most is to literally flood myself everyday with hope and inspiration through Jesus Christ.
I do this by coming here and getting support, going daily to the "God Thought" thread here in General Support, and listening to contemporary Christian music on the radio, pandora internet radio or youtube.
I also started reading the Bible, watching tv shows like Joyce Meyer (all her episodes are also on her website), making sure I pray everyday whether I feel like it or not, thanking God for my blessings, reading books like "Chicken Soup for the Soul: Stories of Faith", talking with other people who have faith in God, going to church, etc.
All of this has helped me draw closer to God and to have hope.
I also learned to not try to please others, but to please God. In doing that, I can not make a wrong choice.
I pray for the people who don't understand.
I have learned to trust God more, knowing that He works for the good in all things, and that He will work things out in His timing.
I also have hope because when this life is over, I look forward to eternal life in Heaven.
I recently read a book called "Heaven is For Real" by Todd Burpo....WOW!!!!
I recommend that book to everyone. The incredible story of a 4 year old boy who experienced Heaven while undergoing an emergency appendectomy. So hopeful!!!
10 So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand
Philippians 4:6-9 (NIV) 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
8 Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.
Matthew 11:28 (NIV)
28 ``Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Here is a prayer for you:
Lord, please lift Melissa up and give her strength and hope.
Please comfort her and let her feel Your complete love for her.
Father God, please help Melissa heal in all ways and protect her unborn baby.
Lord, please draw Melissa close to you and give her peace that surpasses all understanding.
I pray this in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. Amen
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
So so sorry to hear this, Melissa. I do hope the ultrasound gives you hope and that your other problems are resolved soon. And if they can't be resolved... that God will give you the strength to carry on.
Dekrator is RIGHT ON .. very good advice. Draw near to God and he will draw near to you. (tho he never left!!)
And the Todd Burpo book .. Dynamite! It would really help you to read that. Takes only a day to read it.
God Bless!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96227 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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posted
You will definetly be in my prayers as much as u helped me out. Thank God the baby is fine & its gonna stay that way
-------------------- Neuro-Lyme (possible bart) Symptoms started Jan 2011::Diagnosed Feb 11th,2011:: *Anything is possible thru God who strengthens me* Posts: 775 | From Pennsylvania | Registered: Feb 2011
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Melissa, you have been on my mind a lot lately. Now, I know why. I have got to get back in the habit of praying for people when they are on my mind.
Praying for God's peace for you right now in the midst of the storm.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
Melissa, the things that happen to us in this life are not punishments for things we have done wrong.
Just remember that.
The punishment comes after this life is over according to the Bible. Those who didn't like to be with God will get their desire and they will not be with Him for all eternity.
You see good people having terrible things happen to them all the time. So, just know that these troubles are not God punishing you.
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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quote:Originally posted by TF: Melissa, the things that happen to us in this life are not punishments for things we have done wrong.
Just remember that.
The punishment comes after this life is over according to the Bible. Those who didn't like to be with God will get their desire and they will not be with Him for all eternity.
You see good people having terrible things happen to them all the time. So, just know that these troubles are not God punishing you.
- VERY true!
Our pastor referred to that book by a Rabbi written in the 70's (I think) When Bad Things Happen to Good People. He said .. but no one ever wonders why GOOD things happen to BAD people!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96227 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Hambone
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29535
posted
I am so sorry this is happening. It's just not fair.
You are not alone.
If I were there, I'd give you a big hug and a hand to hold.
Posts: 1142 | From South | Registered: Dec 2010
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sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
Sending prayers your way.
I too have been struggling with things lately, in addition to lyme. We just have to give it to God and let him carry it for us.
Sometimes things just seem to hard to deal with, but in time they work themselves out.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
This is an interview with the boy who nearly died and went to heaven:
The book, "Heaven is for Real" was based on his experience. A New York Times best seller.
It is really uplifting listening to this interview.
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
Thankyou all so much. It means the world to me that you all care and took time out of your day to send me a note and aprayer. i am going to try hard and pray tonight. I have the big ultrasound in the am.
God bless all of you thank you!
Hugs, M
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
First. Congratulations on the pregnancy.
Life is always important. Always.
Really a gift from God.
You are too.
Sending you Angels to wrap their wings around you and hold you in your time of need.
Prayers of hope and healing and peace to you my friend.
Wish I could be there to help you out.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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feelfit
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12770
posted
Merrygirl,
Feeling for you sweetie, I know that it takes a lot for you to ask for anything. sending all of those good vibes your way.
best of luck tomorrow with the precious life within you.
everything will fall into place with everything else...you'll see.
best, ff
Posts: 3975 | From usa | Registered: Aug 2007
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I don't know you...but you have touched me deeply...
A BIG , HUGE , BEAR HUG to you ...and healing prayers sent your
way...this too shall pass...hang on...when you reach rock
bottom...the only way from there ...is UP !
Love , light and hope to you...
-------------------- "Gratitude is not only the greatest of virtues , but the parent of all others "....Cicero Posts: 254 | From new jersey | Registered: Jul 2009
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tickled1
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14257
posted
I am so incredibly sorry to hear of your struggles. It just breaks my heart. You seem like such a wonderful person. It's just not fair that you have so much on you right now.
I remember very well the feeling that I may not wake up in the morning. I would kiss my daughter good night, every night, thinking it may very well be the last time and then I'd just watch her sleep and I'd cry and cry.
I also remember how difficult my first trimester of pregnancy was. Difficult is actually a huge uderstatement. I didn't know I had Lyme at the time but now it makes sense. I remember telling my husband that I didn't think I was going to make it. Then, I hit my second trimester and it was like someone hit a light switch and a lot of it lifted. I lost a lot of weight in the beginning too but made up for it fast. I would call my husband at 11:00 a.m. from work and ask him to bring me mushroom pizzas. I also lived on McDonald's McGriddles and steak and spinach calzones.
I hope God lightens your load soon. You don't deserve what you are suffering through. God bless....
Posts: 2541 | From Northeast | Registered: Jan 2008
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
merrygirl,
So sorry for your struggles...all you're going through. The broken world we live in is just...well...so broken.
Praying today is a better day for you and that you receive a fresh touch in your spirit from Jesus (He loves you with an everlasting love) and become filled with HOPE for today, tomorrow, and the future.
A baby! That's exciting! Children are a gift from God. Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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Looks like you'll have to order that book, merrygirl! You've had 3 people recommend it to you!!
Hope you're back here soon and feeling better!!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96227 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
Had the ultrasound and they didnt say anything was wrong. They couldnt see everything and I have to go back in 2 weeks for another ultrasound. Then we have to go to childrens hospital for a fetal echo, just because I have diabetes.
oh and its a GIRL!!!! Very excited and relieved that the could determine it.It took awhile and the baby had its ankles crossed! My kids wanted a boy but I thought it was a girl all along! only a girl would make me so sick! haha.
Thank you so much for all your prayers and well wishes. my other struggles continue and they will for awhile. Its nice to know that I have your support. I have been trying to pray more. I feel a little better today.
I will check out that book! Thank you all very much.
HUGS! M
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Melissa,
Congratulations on finding out you are having a precious little girl!!!
Glad your ultrasound went ok.
The book "Heaven Is For Real" is at Walmart for several dollars cheaper than Barnes and Noble.
So happy to hear you are feeling a little better today. Hope makes all the difference!
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
That's wonderful!! woohooo!! You have a boy and a girl now, right?
So happy for you. Hope things are better today!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96227 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
Thanks for telling us!
God bless you and your new baby girl !!!!
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Awe a baby girl, congratulations! Thank you for sharing the good news with us I'll be keeping you both in my prayers.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
Yes we already have one of each. So it didnt really matter what the sex was. I had a feeling it was a girl from the start. I would have loved a boy just as much. I think i am just really happy i know what to expect. Now i can prepare. I have been too scared to think of names or buy anything. I did manage to buy a package of socks a few weeks ago, just to get me out of denial.
The cardiologist cut my betablocker dose in half yesterday. I dont feel as dizzy and my headache is better. Lets hope this trend continues. Feel a bit more hopeful today.
Thanks everyone!
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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tickled1
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14257
posted
So glad you are feeling a bit better!
Posts: 2541 | From Northeast | Registered: Jan 2008
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
merrygirl...you are going to have a little girl! So excited for you and your family!!!
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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