posted
Man, this blows. Every time I start to feel like I am getting over the hump, I get knocked down again. It's such a freaking tease!
I've been treating now for ~5 months and looking in the rear-view mirror I can definitely tell I am much better overall than I was. I used to spend so many nights just so depressed and wondering how I was going to live and be a father to my 1yr old son. I know I should use that as my motivation, but the brain stuff just really gets to me as it's really my only symptom. Of those, I would say that the tinnitus has to be the worst. It's a constant reminder (never lets up) that I am sick. Even when my other symptoms seem to fade, the tinnitus is like: "Hey! We're still here! Ha ha!".
I don't know... I am just so sick of the see-saw battle. Sorry to ask for encouragement from others on this board who are probably much worse off than I am, but I just don't know where else to turn. It seems impossible and frustratingly so for anyone else to "get" this disease. People I work with can't relate at all, so I've learned to just put a smile on my face as best I can, but I just feel like crying inside sometimes when it gets like this.
I've got a family to provide for and it's tough to just suck it up at times. Oh well... here's to hoping this low is my last.
Posts: 20 | From TX | Registered: Nov 2010
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fflutterby
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28081
posted
I feel the same way. One step forward two steps back. I guess we just have to look at the long haul and not concentrate on the recent. I know I am better than I was prior to treatment but do feel as though it is getting more difficult recently. Hang in there, we will get through it.
-------------------- Psalm 46 1 God is our refuge and strength Posts: 1367 | From North Jersey | Registered: Sep 2010
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fflutterby
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28081
posted
(((hugs)))
-------------------- Psalm 46 1 God is our refuge and strength Posts: 1367 | From North Jersey | Registered: Sep 2010
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momintexas
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23391
posted
Hang in there, my friend. You WILL get better.
It took time for this disease to settle in and it will take time for your body to heal.
It's definitely a roller coaster ride, a ride I have wanted off of for a long time!
Keep your chin up - I promise you will get better.
And don't forget.....we are right around the corner.....
Posts: 1408 | From Tx | Registered: Nov 2009
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posted
Thanks for the well wishes. I really do appreciate them.
I am getting confident I will get normal again lately. It's just the so close, yet so far feeling that settles in and just ****es me off. Why can't it be relatively easy like the flu or strep throat???
Posts: 20 | From TX | Registered: Nov 2010
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nefferdun
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20157
posted
It is difficult - I have my ups and downs too. Don't worry about asking for encouragement. We are here for each other.
Lately I have been feeling much better so there is hope. I have never been as sick as I was in the beginning of treatment.
Be sure you are treating all the co-infections. That was where I went wrong. The first year I thought I only had Bb, the second year it was Bb and bart. Last year I found out I also have ehrlichia and babesia. As soon as I knocked one down, another popped up.
You are so lucky to have a one year old - they are just so cute and fun. But they can tire you out when you are healthy so I know it is hard to keep up. Hope you feel better soon.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
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-------------------- DOCTOR: "I don't think you are sick." PATIENT: "We are all entitled to our opinions. I don't think you are a doctor." Posts: 697 | From Northern California | Registered: Jul 2009
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posted
Yes.. make sure you are addressing coinfections!!
Hang in there and keep on keeping on!! The head stuff is awful and VERY hard to conquer.
Hoping you will have a good week, grim!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I'll give you a hug...needing one myself!!!
H-U-G
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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