posted
just take one day at a time...prayers are on there way...
-------------------- madgen Posts: 342 | From newjersey | Registered: Oct 2007
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Thank you.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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glm1111
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 16556
posted
Geneal,
I feel so bad for you and what you are going through. I have been in similar circumstances. What helped me was to try grounding myself.
Example: My children are okay and will be okay. I have a roof over my head and good food to eat.
I have access to a good doctor who is giving me medicine. This is temporary and I will get through this.
I know the next thought is gonna sound strange, but until you get better, can you just humor your husband and agree with him? Now is not the time for a divorce.
And last but not least is my repeated advice (ad nauseum) to everyone chronically ill, to "TREAT FOR PARASITES" Dr. K. feels Parasites are FIRST and Lyme is SECONDARY"
Next to last but not least is
Gael
-------------------- PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS* Posts: 6418 | From philadelphia pa | Registered: Jul 2008
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Thanks for the hugs and support.
I've been trying to humor him, however, it is so hard.
He is going out of town for a week.
I hope to get my pap results sometime this week.
Praying for normal, but so scared it is not.
Thank you again.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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kidsgotlyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23691
posted
Hi Geneal. I'm so sorry that you are having such a hard time. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
It would be really nice if you could just take a little extra special care of yourself while your husband is out of town.
Maybe a massage, nice dinner with a friend. Just something for YOU!
-------------------- symptoms since 1993 that I can remember. 9/2018 diagnosed with Borellia, Babesia Duncani, and Bartonella Hensalae thru DNA Connections. Posts: 1470 | From Tennessee | Registered: Dec 2009
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merrygirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12041
posted
I am so sorry.. i wanted to let you know that thyroid issues can make you spot. Before getting preg, if i missed 1 dose of thyroid meds i would spot. So dont worry too much, i know thats hard.
Hang in there, hugs
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Tried to send you a pm but box is full. So posting here.
Lord,
I lift Geneal up to you. She is going through a rough patch right now. Hold her in your arms. Give her your peace. Heal her body. give her strength. AMEN
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829
posted
Kam, very nice. Thank you.
Hey Big G,
Just saw this post. So sorry to hear you are having such a bad time!!!!
Have you gotten any news yet?
Are your spirits any better? I don't like seeing you so crushed!
Jane2904
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15917
posted
Hang in there!!
Sorry you are not feeling well.Praying for better health and happier days for you.
Hugs
Posts: 1357 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2008
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lululymemom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26405
posted
Abnormal paps are very common, so don't worry even if you get one. I've had several over the years and know of many others who have as well. Spotting could also be chlamydia.. Not sure you have tested for that.
I am alone and have been for several years.. If you have to you can do it.. I actually prefer it..
Bartonella henselae 1:100 Posts: 2027 | From British Columbia | Registered: Jun 2010
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
You all bring tears to my eyes.
I am so blessed to have so many friends.
Thank you and Thank you God for all of you.
My husband has me rather isolated.
I really have only had one baby sitter for one time.
It is hard with living in the country and with 5 dogs.
My spotting seems less today. My second day of armour thyroid.
I am late for my OB appointment. About 6 months.
I just can't take my children with me there and it seems that I always have them.
I guess that is why I am so worried.
I am praying and thank you for your prayers.
Kam, your prayer was beautiful.
I like being alone too.
My daughter has picked up on the stress and is crying all the time asking if daddy and I are getting divorced.
I told her that I would try my best not too, but that I couldn't make the marriage work by myself.
My husband is now training to do triathalons.
He started about 10 weeks ago and that is when our problems started.
He is never home. It is like he is OCD about training and excercise.
It is his number one priority.
He has my daughter training too.
She just realized yesterday that the only time that he spends with her is when they are "training".
She commented on that.
I can't talk to him, because he threatens to leave every time I try.
He never competed his treatment for Lyme and company.
He was at his best when he was on antibiotics.
Now.....he just criticizes me constantly.
Curt and short with answers.
Very hurtful and I end up wondering what I did wrong.
Of course I know I didn't, but I think that is part of his Method of Operation.
I continue to be amazed by your support of me.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
I know you know this, but a reminder never hurts:
His attitude has nothing to do with you. You are merely the target. Don't let his comments take root. Picture them bouncing off of you and disappearing into space. Then get on with your day.
I had to get away from someone like this when I was sick and undiagnosed. But first, I had to learn to survive the daily onslaught. Even though I felt that we should be emotionally connected (we were in a relationship, after all), I could not have been more wrong. He had control of my emotions. I needed to be emotionally disconnected, so I could observe and think, and not be wrapped up in the drama.
You don't need to make any big decisions during this relapse. But you need to feel safe and loved. You are safe and loved here on Lymenet.
Take care of yourself. You have lots of life ahead of you.
Babesia acts like a magnifying glass to our emotional lives, especially depression. Everything is waaaaayyyy huge. You'll be calmer as you treat your relapse.
Do some nice things for yourself while he's out of town.
Much love, BoxerMom
I would like to start a thread here in General Support of book recommendations for you. Many women have been where you are and have wonderful suggestions. Would that be OK?
scorpiogirl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31907
posted
Hi Geneal,
I'm sorry you are having a rough time!!
I will add you to may prayer list.
As far as your husband's situation... give him the space right now... if he doesn't come around then let him go. The tighter you hold on the more he will want to leave. There comes a time in life we just have to let go, you can't force him to stay. And from the way you described do you really want a man like that around? Sometimes it's better to have peace than turmoil even if that means not having him. Focus on your health right now.
Now as far as spotting goes...I had that for 9 months. I would spot 3-4 days then nothing for 2 weeks. Spot again for 5 days then nothing for 1 week then period for 10 days. My cycles were completely messed up. I had the papsmear which came out normal. I had the manual exam and that was fine. I had ultrasound of my ovaries they were "beautiful". I even had the uterine biopsy and that was normal!
My cycles only returned to normal after I was diagnosed w/ Lyme and Bart and went on antibiotics. So could your relaspe have something to do with this?
Additionally, please do not panic even if the pap smear is abnormal. My sister had hers abnormal for 6 years... for some reasons after she had kids she kept getting abnormal smears. But subsequent biopsies were all normal.
Keep us posted!! Hugs!
-------------------- Posts: 1391 | From Lyme Land | Registered: May 2011
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Oh absolutely!!!!
I love to read and if I can help myself recover mentally and emotionally, then I am all for it.
Thank you for the advice and kind words.
I do feel safe and loved here.
More accepted for all my highs and lows than anywhere else.
I look forward to some book suggestions.
Thank you again so much.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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posted
Prayers for you!
Posts: 342 | From northern california | Registered: Dec 2010
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Geneal >>>>>,
Hugs and prayers coming your way from Silverwolfi and TxC'!!!
It isn't easy but the Lord will guide us all thru, even when we feel alone...We aren't alone,and we are blessed to have LymeNet!!!
I will try to check in when we get back from TxC's sleep test...
Lord,please give Geneal your gentle peace in the midst of lifes storms,and bring relief from pain for her. Amen!
jus Silverwolfi here!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Hey kiddo,
You said"I am in a bad place".
I beg to differ,,,your in a great place "Lymenet"
okay okay,,I get your meaning,,,but mine had its own Meaning.
We will get you thru the thick and thin of this no matter what.
YOUR a survivor,,,remember,,,those deep dark days of Katrina,,no house,,whole one anyway,,,
living away from there,,,coming back and 'surviving' in a tiny PART of a house??
struggling with the county you know whats. THE stress of rebuilding.
The stress of losing some of your most cherished family members???(see I forgot their names) but "I" know they still live in YOUR heart!!!
You beat lyme and buddies once,,,you shall again,,,you respond very well and pretty darn fast ,,,comparitivly
Your as strong as an oak tree, bend a little in the wind but remain standing.
Can you find a temp caregiver for the kids for couple hours to see the doc??Dont discuss this with anyone in the house,,not even the crickets cause they all have ears.
Just go and get it done with,,seeing necessary docs,,,you dont need anyones approval for that.
Your working full time yet??How is that going??
SEE how much you are truely greatful for,,we know you are!!!
Your a one of a kind special angel to so many people here,,,they are like the stars in the heavens above
oldest adeage known to man,,but the best,,,THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!!!!
dont get in conflicts with each other,,space and time,,and divine intervention ,,,will cure all.
If not Tincup had the BEST solution.
and remember one other thing,,he has by far,,,the most to lose!!!! PM me if you need more details of that statement.
Basicly if he doesnt straighten up and get honestly wise,,he will wake up without his wife, his kids, his house, his toys, his income, his happiness, his dogs,,,,,,,just goes on and on.
Sounds like he is doing a 'Forrest Gump' and trying to run away from all he has or hopes to have,running only lasts so long!!!!
furthermore,,,we are HERE!!!!!VENT AWAY!!! and we are listening to every word you say!!!!
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Prayers up
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
Prayers and hugs to you Geneal. I hope that you can feel them. You are such a good person. You deserve all the love that I just felt flowing toward you as I read through this thread. I know that the sun will shine for you again soon.
-------------------- I found my original identity! It has been a bit over 12 years...can't blame me for forgetting my password, right?!!
Member red (Member # 1886) Registered: 26 November, 2001 70 posts Posts: 164 | From NJ | Registered: Jan 2009
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posted
Stress is SO difficult for us to deal with when we are already battling this disease. I know, because I am going through some very stressful events right now, while trying to "up" my treatment, and I am just so darn tired.
I hope things will look up for you soon. So difficult when we don't have the support from those who we should most be receiving it from.
Hang in there.
-------------------- Best Wishes,
Hope
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
~~The Shawshank Redemption~~ Posts: 234 | From Minnesota | Registered: Dec 2010
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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Geneal
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 10375
posted
Oh my goodness.
I feel surrounded by love.
I really hate to be a whiner.
Dad Don, you are the best. I wish you really were my Dad.
Lymetoo.....what can I say. You saved me first.
To everyone who has responded, I am so grateful.
My heart is over flowing with love.
I feel your prayers.
You all humble me with your generosity.
Thank you.
I continue to keep you all in my prayers as well.
I always said that Angels come in all forms.
I know that I found my Angels here.
Thank you Lord.
Hugs,
Geneal
Posts: 6250 | From Louisiana | Registered: Oct 2006
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daisyrlb
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15686
posted
It is great to have a place to come to and share from our hearts knowing that the people "listening" truly can relate.
That is very supportive...add to that the encouraging comments and prayers. WOW!
May the Lord list your spirits in a beautiful way on His Lord's Day. May you continue to feel the love like a blanket wrapped around you.
May this day be filled with HOPE because our Lord Jesus is the God of ALL HOPE and you are loved with an everlasting love.
Prayers!
Posts: 2188 | From Oklahoma | Registered: May 2008
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
ah gen, dear, i've been there. and you know i finally realized i didn't CARE whether he left or not. then i started getting better. course i still don't care but hey i'm working on me.
you can do this, i know you can. remember the ole "when God closes a door, somewhere He opens a window"...well maybe this is a sign.
concentrate on taking care of yourself and children first.
let him go and if he returns, it's meant to be, if not. then start planning.
lyme wrecks marriages and it's so very hard. i lost a job i loved because of lyme, his friends destroyed the marriage, and all of it has wrecked my health. i've dealt with death also.
there is a bright spot. YOU....hang tough and know that i'm with you.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
I read your posts a couple weeks ago where you thought something wasn't right and could feel yourself relapsing. It made me so sad for you.
I worried when I seen you take on the world and go back at life so hard that I just prayed you would make it.
That darn enemy #1 stress is the biggest pain. We try so hard to avoid it and then life happens and we get knocked down.
You husband is not meeting your needs as a supporter and comforter. He is taking care of numero uno, himself. His refusal to take care of his very important wife and childrens needs will one day bite him in the arse.
He can run all the marathons but some day he is going to be brought to his knees and I hope it's not too late for you and the kids might have moved on.
I don't think our illness wrecks our marriages...I've got to wonder if it was really a good and true marriage if an illness ruins it.
I don't think so. Love, compassion, support, committment, faithfulness, joy, relationships, understanding, togetherness, faith, trust, God, equality, partnership are all suppose to be held together in marriage. In sickness and in health.
I'v pulled myself up so many times by the boot straps in the last 12 yrs and gave my husband a partner who did as much as I could for him, when I knew that this long day of tailgating.....I'm sitting in a chair and drinking water while him and all his friends are drinking beer and having a jolly good time.
He would get ticked off when I say hey, I'm done and I need to go home.That's after I've endured 2-3 pre-game tailgating, whole college football game and then another hour tailgating afterwards. I have to drive home because even though I'm wiped out and hurting, I'm the one that is sober. That's just an example.
The next day I would pay dearly with my health and well being. I expect and deserve somethings in return. How selfish can a person be?
Sometimes pretty darn selfish!!!!!!!
Well I'm not beating myself up because I'm not a stupid drinking young woman who can do anything including bringing home a hefty paycheck anymore.
I've taken a new attitude.....you're either with me or against me. Don't anyone use me up anymore. I don't have the strength to carry everyone. I'm carrying myself.
I'm taking care of me. I've done too much for others for too long. I want and need something in return. I deserve that.
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6478 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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posted
Prayers for you Geneal. And for you too map.
-------------------- You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
---Eleanor Roosevelt Posts: 748 | From somewhere | Registered: May 2010
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< Geneal >>>>>,
Hugs and prayers for relief from stress,and peace in the midst of storms continuing.
So many of us are dealing w/ super stressful issues. Hope today is better for you dear friend!
Jus' Silverwolfi here!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Hugs and prayers to you. So sorry you're having a hard time. I have to say that reading all of these replies brought a tear to my eye! You have so many supportive friends here!
Hang in there! I'm sure brighter days are ahead.
-------------------- "The simple things can get you through the hardest times." Posts: 628 | From Connecticut | Registered: Sep 2010
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philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
Awe...so sorry that you are having such a rough time. Hang in there! Sometimes we have to take things one minute at a time! Just remember...tough times don't last but tough people do!
Sending prayers your way. Feel better soon.
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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posted
May I recommend a book called WHEN TALKING IS NOT ENOUGH....it's an excellent book on thriving in a difficult marriage.
Posts: 234 | From albany, ny | Registered: Mar 2011
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jess22
Unregistered
posted
Sending hugs and prayers your way - such a complex situation when we're sick but there's no excuse for a spouse/partner not to be supportive. Deep breathe often, remember the way your body felt like *before* the relapse and it will get there again.... xx
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Dear Geneal,
You are in my prayers. God is close to the brokenhearted. He will lift you up and carry you when you cannot walk the journey...
Footprints
One night I had a dream-- I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord and across the sky flashed scenes from my life. For each scene I noticed two sets of footprints, one belonged to me and the other to the Lord. When the last scene of my life flashed before me, I looked back at the footprints in the sand. I noticed that many times along the path of my life, there was only one set of footprints. I also noticed that it happened at the very lowest and saddest times in my life. This really bothered me and I questioned the Lord about it. "Lord, you said that once I decided to follow you, you would walk with me all the way, but I have noticed that during the most troublesome times in my life there is only one set of footprints. "I don't understand why in times when I needed you most, you should leave me." The Lord replied, "My precious, precious child, I love you and I would never, never leave you during your times of trial and suffering. "When you saw only one set of footprints, it was then that I carried you."
...Mary Stevenson
You may be having some hormonal imbalance that could explain the spotting.
I feel better if I pray for the people that hurt me.
Matthew 11:28 (NIV) 28 ``Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Geneal, you are loved. We love you and God loves you!!
Praying for a good outcome for your tests, and for your marriage to strengthen through this time of trial...and of course for the complete healing of you and your husband.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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