Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
What Randibear and merrygirl say is true: He's testing the water before he jumps back in. I'll bet he comes back with a plea for negotiation. He'll have excuses, then try to sugar coat his actions. He'll slyly coax his way back in, if you let him, so he can have the cake with the icing on the side.
He'll make it sound like "what is all the fuss about?" "oh, never mind...." and probably act like all is back to normal. It's not.
Hang strong, kindrid spirit, and hold your ground. With cement and super glue! You can always use the super glue on him if the cement doesn't.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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Catgirl
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 31149
posted
I with Just Don. You really need to take emotion out of the equation and play hard ball.
Imagine that all this happened to your best friend. What would you be telling her to do right now? Hardball. It makes perfect sense.
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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Catgirl
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 31149
posted
Forgot to mention, I'd clean out the bank accounts, pronto!
-------------------- --Keep an open mind about everything. Also, remember to visit ACTIVISM (we can change things together). Posts: 5418 | From earth | Registered: Mar 2011
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That may be a good idea, and also if you want some numbers of folks here to talk to -
this is a pretty dicey time and you may need some talking with -
am encouraging you to get some numbers of people here who've been around the block, so to speak, if you feel you need them, for advice on how to handle this transition time -
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I am going to give you my opinion. I have been married for 23 years to my wife. We have had our hard times and good times. I am fighting this disease and so is my wife, I am stronger(health wise) than her, she is not well at all alot worse than me.In our marriage I worked she cooked, but since this I have learned to cook I clean I do dishes,feed the animals do laundry. I am not saying I do it all the time we do it together. My point is that I married for better or worse for sickness and health. I have and will fight for my marriage. For anyone to abandon their spouse who is ill is a selfish sob, and I am thinking alot more. This a hole sure must care alot for his children also, He is going to leave them with a sick mother who has a hard enought time taking care of her self much less her children. Love or no love he needs to be there for his family. He deserves nothing sell everything as fast as you can get a restraining order asap so he doesnt rob you. My neighbor is going throught that right now. The first thing A guy is told by buddies is grab what you can. Dont let him have anything. I dont even know why I referred to him as a man, he is a selfish spoiled child. He is not a man in my book. P.s I am a man
-------------------- Help I am being forced against my will to learn medicine!!! Posts: 164 | From WASHINGTON | Registered: Jun 2011
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posted
Flippin, your commitment is admirable, including your comments about having to adjust and do it differently according to the changed situation.
I also feel sorry for your kids, Geneal - my gosh, they're his kids too - doesn't he have any feelings for his children??
[ 06-17-2011, 06:39 AM: Message edited by: Robin123 ]
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
Dear Geneal-
God has opened a door for you. Its time to gather up all your courage to use it.
Forget the roses-- IMO, that your husband is buying flowers for another woman is the least of his sins.
It sounds like you know and at some level, have known for a long while that your husband does not love you in any way that matters. If he loved you, he would not make you feel worthless. If he loved you, he would have taken care of you when you were sick. If he loved you he would have not have burdened your marriage with irresponsible debt.
He does not love you. That has to be the core of what breaks your heart, no matter what is going on or what anyone else says or what you know for yourself.
It HURTS, losing a husband and a marriage and your sense of where you stand in the world and all that shared time & experience and expectation of sharing a future. You're allowed to grieve as well as to feel angry.
The gift God is giving you, though, is the opportunity to remember that you are worthy and deserving of great love, and that nothing less than that is good enough.
I'm praying for you that you do not allow your husband to take a single thing more from you, including your time. Change the locks. Move any available cash out of joint accounts and into one in your name only.
If he wants to speak with you, tell him to get in touch with your lawyer. Removing yourself absolutely and completely from his reach isn't an act of hostility- it's self-protection.
You are one of the most generous and loving people I have ever "met," Geneal. Time now to give to yourself what you are always so willing and able to give and do for others.
Many hugs- Dilly
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
So very sorry Geneal. It will work out for you. I just have one suggestion and that is during all of this, no matter how mad you are at your husband, speak only goodness about him to your children.
Will pray for you and your family.
Sue
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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You are one of the most generous and loving people I have ever "met," Geneal. Time now to give to yourself what you are always so willing and able to give and do for others.
- Amen
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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17hens
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23747
posted
Geneal,
Maybe you are my cousin and your husband is her husband? Your stories are so similar.
He emotionally abused, he couldn't keep a job, he cheated, he left, he maxed out the credit cards putting them in terrible debt, he came back, he cheated, he can't keep a job, he emotionally abuses...
She is a wonderful, caring, smart woman, she worked hard and steady, she took care of 5 kids, she couldn't stand it when he left, she hated him when he cheated, but ultimately she couldn't bear the thought of being "alone" so she took him back.
A year later and still in a completely broken, angry, cruel relationship, they are planning a family vacation. Before he bought the vaca on ebay he forgot to ask off from work. He's not sure if he can go. You know what she said to me?
"If he goes with us, it won't be a vacation for me, it'll be hell, all the stress just in another 4 walls.
If he doesn't go along, we'll have to cancel the trip because I can't go without him, I don't trust him, what would he be doing, away from me?"
As sick as I have been, I've always been a better place than her. I have hope.
Please let us know how you're doing. I'll be praying for you.
-------------------- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10 Posts: 3043 | From PA | Registered: Dec 2009
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posted
Hoping to hear from Geneal very soon... very.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
I read through this the other day and didn't respond b/c I really didn't know what to say.
I am sorry that you're going through such a rough time. I'll keep you in my prayers. Stay strong.
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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kam
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 3410
posted
Geneal??
Guessing you are back to status quo
I know how confusing things can be when you are in the middle of it and upside down and sideways
Hoping the straw that broke the camels back will come around soon for you.
Posts: 15927 | From Became too sick to work or do household chores in 2001. | Registered: Dec 2002
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posted
It sometimes takes more strength to break this kind of tie, no matter how bad it is, than to stay in it. Sometimes people think that a bad marriage is better than none at all. And thinking maybe things will change for the better. Frequently they don't and it is a learning experience.
So, we gave good advice, but she may not be ready to take it.
Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000
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payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
in every relationship there is one that can love, and stands by the idea of things will get better, let go of them, set them free.. my ex' after 17 yrs hit the end of the road on my sin full ways.. i did not contest it - just let her be free, seems 17 yrs later, she now wants me to know she loved me, but, did not like me. people love to many things... try to use the word like more, i like my friends at lyme net and love their support. i love my family, and like the way they never give up. hope geneal, can find a spot to stand on and be mighty within her self. like yourself 1st, be couragous. trying to fix the impossible, its a hard road to take, trying to love someone when you don't understand them, is harder Good things happen to good people. hug wayne
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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I left a message. Tried to be calm and not say much just in case someone else heard it.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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map1131
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 2022
posted
Maybe her and the kids went somewhere safe and peaceful. I thought there was serious storms that came out of Gulf and Louisana Thur/Fri?
Maybe it's a power issue? Just hoping she told him to get lost. I wouldn't be in any talking mood. I'd let the law do my talking.
Every dog has their day!!!
Pam
-------------------- "Never, never, never, never, never give up" Winston Churchill Posts: 6495 | From Louisville, Ky | Registered: Jan 2002
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
Geneal-
If your marriage were on a ballot here at Lymenet, clearly we would vote your husband out, by a landslide. But... obviously it is your marriage, not ours, and your decision to make, not ours.
Bottom line, we're offering up opinions and suggestions because we care about YOU and your well being.
None of us are going to pass judgment on/be critical of whatever decisions you have made or will make about your situation.
So please, stop by if just for a minute and let us know you're OK. OK?
hugs, Dill
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Dill... He was to come home on Friday. Haven't heard from Geneal since then.
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
Toots-
I know. It isn't like Geneal to keep away from LN right now when she knows so many are worried about her.
Probably something simple and unavoidable like power problems are responsible, but wrote what I did in the unlikely chance she decided on the "status quo" and was hesitant to tell us that.
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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posted
Geneal... We are all continue to watch this post in hopes of hearing from you.
We are all worried.
We are all hoping that you are safe. No matter your decisions.... we are here to support you.
From one abused woman to another... if you are reading this.... Please, at least post something so we know you are alive.
If you are not ready to share whats going on.... we can all understand that....
but, even if u just type a single word....
-------------------- 10/10 EIA 1.4+, 41 (IGG), 23 (IGM) Bitten over 20 years ago. Currently not treating, looking for a Dr who will work with my insurance lol.
More muscular, cognitive, nerve issues than joints. Facial droop and blurred vision. Posts: 323 | From Michigan | Registered: Apr 2011
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sometimesdilly
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9982
posted
There are no power outages in Geneals's area, nor have there been since Thursday when we last heard from her.
I know Toots has tried- does anyone else know to reach Geneal or a family member?
Posts: 2507 | From lost in the maze | Registered: Aug 2006
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
Whew is right...we need to have some kind of method to check in so all the mother and father "hens" don't worry!
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I would think she's probably letting this sink in, or maybe refocusing. I hope he's not violent or anything. I may have to cross the state line and have a talk with him, straighten him out!
Regardless, Geneal, we are here if you need us and will continue to support you.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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Dekrator48
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 18239
posted
Lymetoo,
Thanks for letting us know that Geneal is ok.
Geneal,
I am still praying for you, dear. I support you in doing what is best for you and your children.
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
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posted
Thank you for the update. I have been checking in to make sure she is okay. And like I say, over and over, I don't know her well, but I still worry in situations like this. I am glad to hear a positive update, and that is that she is safe and she is okay right now.
I will look forward to the post on Monday. Not here to judge, but to support.
-------------------- Best Wishes,
Hope
"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies."
~~The Shawshank Redemption~~ Posts: 234 | From Minnesota | Registered: Dec 2010
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-------------------- 10/10 EIA 1.4+, 41 (IGG), 23 (IGM) Bitten over 20 years ago. Currently not treating, looking for a Dr who will work with my insurance lol.
More muscular, cognitive, nerve issues than joints. Facial droop and blurred vision. Posts: 323 | From Michigan | Registered: Apr 2011
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I think everyone is holding their breath on this one. It's just too serious to let it go, especially when it involves a kindrid spirit.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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