posted
oh boy. I have been off abx now for about a month and some days. I had bad episodes on the abx but this last 'episode' was crazy.
i guess i just wanted to see if anyone else goes through this because it scares the **** out of me.
let me try and describe it, this is hard to do. I start to feel this tension building up in my body, this agitation I can't get under control. this is unprovoked. then i go searching and make a scenario where i can release this horribleness in me.
for instance i'll imagine my boyfriend cheating on me, my mind races, i get up--tell him off. i scream and yell. any noises or heat set me off. i'm sweating.
during one of these episodes i actually got out of the car on the highway, ran back to the car. my bf drove to a parking lot. he rolled up the window and i lost it, hitting everything.
i got out and hit my hand so hard on the car bruising myself badly. then i turned and ran full speed into a clearing in the parking lot. i laid down and hyperventilated, cried. walked back to the car.
and i cried and hyperventilated until it finally passed. this is also seizure-like. I know this is not my personality. It scares me. I feel as if I have no control but im conscious.
i'm so mean and aggressive, then really emotional. the tension is released and i am drained for the entire day. huh.
is this babesia rage?
i'm afraid to think i have some serious mental disorder. my brain just seems so sick sometimes.
right now im on namenda lamictal sertraline trazadone
any thoughts?
Posts: 60 | From central nj | Registered: Feb 2011
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payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
Lyme teaches us self control, mind over body. Lotus, many here understand, we do not want to go back and fall into Lyme Rage Agian.. I go to a mirror when i get raging, and stare deep within my eyes.. untill i see the Old me staring back and bringing me my old strenghts back, Its Voo Doo Doll feelings, like a puppet on strings.. torture and confusing. LYME DISEASE... Patcients and stepping back from the world, taking that outta body feeling and putting it into a positive, if it is gonna make you a monster, be a good monster. Put this rage to work, when the tea pot boils make tea.. Many here are in the same boat, talk to us through this site, VENT, GO AHEAD, it helps us to help you.. being needed.. I ask The Lord for you to find a calming in this storm and grab it and make good of it. Amen, God Loves you lotus, and so do we. be stronger then you have ever been. wayne
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
This sounds like bartonella to me! My thing is to throw things, sometimes at people, but usually just to let out the sudden aggression. Thats everything from office chairs to water bottles. It's amazing the things our brain comes up with during these times, how mad we get at people for no reason... I'm sure Lyme can cause it but for me personally it's always been bartonella. Bart rage, I call it. It usually only lasts one day, and comes out in short bursts where I'm completely fine and normal in between them.
So sorry you're going trhough this but be sure to inform your partner that it's just the bugs! The bset thing you can do when it starts to creep up is know that it's NOT you, whatever thoughts yo're having are NOT truly your own, and if possible, stay away from people until it passes
((((hugs))))
ETA: Also you mentioned being off antibiotics and this is when the bartonella really comes back full force; it only takes a small amount of time because bart replicates every 5-7 days. Shortly after I had to stop abx last year, is when I began experiencing the rage symptoms. I'm on Rifampin and Zithro now and it's kicking bartonella's butt
-------------------- Myalgic encephalomyelitis, 2002 | Viral onset, following Hep B vaccine Lyme since '06 | Bartonella since '08 (cured) | Mycoplasma pneumoniae since '08 IGeneX: IgM 31IND 34IND 41+ | IgG 39IND 58+ 41+++ IgG deficiencies and MTHFR 677TT mutations Posts: 512 | From USA | Registered: Sep 2010
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posted
My son had severe agitation and rages and he had "the highest Bartonella titer" his LLMD ever saw. He's much better now after 5 months or so on rifampin and minocycline.
Susie
Posts: 234 | From albany, ny | Registered: Mar 2011
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posted
BTW, Lotus I got my bite in Bridgewater, NJ. Not positive for Bartonella but have all the skin signs. 3 in my family have treated for it. Central Jersey, is a hot bed for Bart.
Posts: 671 | From Fort Myers, Florida | Registered: Jun 2009
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