philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
Well, it finally came to my realization yesterday that I need to make some changes in my life.
I've been so fatigued as of late and some of my symptoms have been worsening.
I haven't been listening to my body and just "sicked it up" and moved on with my routine. I realize now that I have been doing this to the detriment of my own health. Not good.
I currently have intermittent FMLA but hate to use it. I have days where I wanna call out but then feel bad so I go in anyway.
Then I pay for it in the following days.
I had trouble falling asleep last night and was up bright and early this morning...my mind racing.
I've been mulling over what my options are at this point.
I've never had symptoms to the point that it really stopped me too much from doing things but it seems as though it is all catching up to me.
I feel like the walking dead. So tired and weak all the time. I'm having trouble opening things while at work. I don't have the strength to move these patients. I'm 5'3...down to 95 lbs and many of our patients are obese.
I actually injured my back helping move a 500+lb guy from the ambulance stretcher to one in our ER in the past. I seem to re-aggravate the area more often now than in the past.
I was at work yesterday and got very frustrated b/c I couldn't open the IV tubing and was having trouble opening some of the meds.
I just want to cry. This is so overwhelming and I am a loss as to what to do. I put a call in this morning to the headquarters of our HR department to talk about what some of my options are.
I do have the intermittent FMLA but b/c I feel bad calling out...since I'm screwing over my co-workers and the patients...I'm not using it when I should be. This is a problem.
I've thought about maybe just cutting back my hours but then I don't know if I'll get them back when I feel better. But I do know that I have the option to cut back to just working every weekend and giving upmy shifts during the week.
Someone told me I could do an intermittent type of disbility. Not sure what that even means and it is why I made the call this morning. I'm waiting on a phone call back.
I know that no one else can make this decision for me but I do value the opinion of the members on this board.
So let me know what you all think and please be truthful. No sugar coating things! Lol. What has been others experiences with work? Leave of absence?
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
I took 3 weeks off after I'd been on ABX for 5 weeks. Couldn't concentrate, tired, inability to think. That's all the sick days/PTO I had. Also signed up for FMLA 'just in case'. LLMD wrote a note that I could be out from 1-2 months (this was based on the extent of my symptoms, early stage, etc) So it covered me for at least 2 months if needed.
After the time off and going to the chiropractor 3 times per week, I was able to return to work and recovered.
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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sammy
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13952
posted
Sending you a PM.
Posts: 5237 | From here | Registered: Nov 2007
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posted
Philly78... I am not making any judgments here, just asking you to think about this from a different angle, after all you did say not to sugar coat it! Do you think it is fair to the patients that you work with that you are unable to move them because you are so ill? Do you think it is fair to your coworkers that they have to worker a little harder to cover what you can't do while you are there? NOT trying to make you feel guilty here, HONEST! Just want you to think about it from the other side. I was where you are now. I was going in day after day dragging my behind in cause I didn't want to let anyone down. When I had a coworker point these facts out to me. Though she did it in a not so nice way...
Anyway, maybe you could take a few weeks, just till you feel like your not death warmed over?
-------------------- J Posts: 91 | From Northwest Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
Thank you all for the responses.
Jacqi....you are right and you make excellent points.
I can be a bit stubborn sometimes so sometimes I need to hear it "told like it is".
Still no call back from HR but I did email my boss and told her we need to talk.
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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James1979
Unregistered
posted
If your boss gives you any trouble, tell him to give me a call.
I'll make him an offer he can't refuse.
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AZURE WISH
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 804
posted
You have to give yourself permission "to not be able to" do certain things. Its ok. Dont feel like you are admitting defeat. think of it as making a bigger committment to the fight to get better. I know it is a difficult thing to admit you just cant anymore.
I was always very carreer orientated. I was disabled when I was 23. I tried to keep going until my body justwouldnt get up and move out of bed no matter how much I told it to or how hard I tried. I was already disabled by the time I got any treatment. I had been pushing through to function but didnt know what i was really up against.
If you financially need to keep working AND you are physically capable (I am assuming you are a nurse) their are less physically demanding jobs. Some drs offices have nurses (to handle patient calls deal with meds etc) also home health has nurses. There are nurses at IV companies in an adminstrative capacitiy. They are the ones the patient calls if their is a problem or concern, they scheldule deliveries etc. There are other jobs with less hours and physical demands than in a hospitsl. Maybe the hospital could enev switch you to a different position.
I hope whatever you decide it is the answer to the question "what will be best for my health in the short AND long term?"
sutherngrl
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 16270
posted
I am assuming you are a nurse. If so, no doubt you can always find a job. My step daughter is a nurse and she has no trouble working the hours she chooses to work. So if you think it would help you, maybe cut back on how much you work. Or just take a break until you feel better. Or cut back first and see how that works before jumping into taking a complete break.
I worked for 5 months after I became ill and then I just became way to sick to work and had no choice but to quit. It was a horrible time for me; not wanting to have to quit a perfectly good job, but my health demanded it.
Now its been almost 5 years since I worked. It took me 2 years to get a diagnosis and I've been treating for 3 years. So you just never know what you might have to do to get well.
I wish you the best. Hope you can just cut back a little and will feel better soon.
Posts: 4035 | From Mississippi | Registered: Jul 2008
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philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
Thank you all for your input.
Azure...you've pretty much nailed it when you said..."You have to give yourself permission "to not be able to" do certain things. Its ok. Dont feel like you are admitting defeat. think of it as making a bigger committment to the fight to get better. I know it is a difficult thing to admit you just cant anymore."
Reading that really made me think. I do kinda feel like I'm waving the white flag! I know, I know...I shouldn't feel like that but I've always been the glue that hold me big old dysfunctional family together!
To finally give in to the fact that this actually IS interfering with my life, is very hard for me to do.
I was talking with a friend who is a coworker yesterday. I even suggested that maybe I could put things off a bit longer and see how it goes. Well, later on she sent me this quote....
Delay is the deadliest form of denial.
I read it and broke down in tears...again! But it is oh so very true.
I am going into work a half hour early to talk with my boss. I've decided against going on short term disability. I am just going to cut my hours down and work every weekend. That gives me 5 days off to rest and take care of myself.
I will make more money than if I went out completely and it will be "doable". Things will be tight for a little while but we will manage!
I was homeless for several months in the past and if I could get through that, I'll certainly make it through this!
Thank you all again for your input. It is greatly appreciated. You guys are the best!!!
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
i understand what jacqui was saying but in my case i couldnt quit for awhile...i was a teacher-my husband had no benefits ans didnt make much-we would have lost the house-4 kids depended on us.
i looked at the calendar. i already had weekends off and a bunch of holidays. i pre sceduled my "sick" days so i usually worked a 4 day week or less. there was a long period-about a yr when i pulsed so my herxing was on days off
i never felt like i didn't give my students more than they would get with someone else. i was a really good teacher and many others were not ... i left subs good stuff to do.
we all have to do what we have to do
i looked into disability but my work disability was only for terminal illness
ssdi you have to be out of work 6 months for
my way was the only thing i could figure out . I dont know what FMLA is-but unless your work disaability will work...maybe something like this will
it got me thru
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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philly78
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31069
posted
Just got back from talking with my supervisor. The meeting went very well actually. She sent me home today and told me to rest up. I actually look pretty bad today...not just feel it!
I have work this Saturday and Sunday, then I'm off for two weeks and upon returning will only do my weekend shifts.
I really do think that this will be doable. I'll have 2 days on, 5 days off with plenty of time to care for myself.
Since I won't be seeing her very often...she only works weekdays...she told me to keep in touch via email and that if this didn't work out and that we could have a meeting again.
I must say....I am so thankful to have her as my supervisor. She is so understanding of the situation.
I know what you mean Ipkayak. I am the breadwinner in my family and with the cut in hours my paycheck will be going down in monthly income quite a bit. I am going to take time today and figure out where I can save $2300/month. That is what I will be losing.
It will be a bit tough but I'll make it work. One good thing is that my benefits will stay the same as long as I can stay at 24 hours/week. So for right now, at least I don't have that to worry about.
I know I am a good nurse, and even while feeling so tired and weak, I am attentive to my patients. But it was time to get honest with myself. If I continued ignoring my body I was going to regret it later.
-------------------- When faced with pain you have two choices....either quit and accept the circumstances, OR make the decision to fight with all the resources you have at your disposal. Posts: 1000 | From PA | Registered: Mar 2011
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Do you think it is fair to the patients that you work with that you are unable to move them because you are so ill? Do you think it is fair to your coworkers that they have to worker a little harder to cover what you can't do while you are there? NOT trying to make you feel guilty here, HONEST! Just want you to think about it from the other side. I was where you are now. I was going in day after day dragging my behind in cause I didn't want to let anyone down. When I had a coworker point these facts out to me. Though she did it in a not so nice way... 
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