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» LymeNet Flash » Questions and Discussion » General Support » CDC Lyme Test Decision Tree

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Author Topic: CDC Lyme Test Decision Tree
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829

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Talk about complicating and crazy! Geeze! The CDC had to make a colored chart and a Decision Tree (tax-payer funded?) to help doctors understand the Lyme tests and how to read them.

[lol]

Here is how doctors are suppose to read Lyme tests. Ain't this clear as mud?

And note they state this is REQUIRED... "The Two-tier Testing Decision Tree describes the steps ***required*** to properly test for Lyme disease."

http://cdc.gov/lyme/healthcare/clinician_twotier.html

Here is MY version of their screwy requirements!

Lyme Disease
Two-tiered Testing Decision Tree

The Two-tier Testing Decision Tree describes the steps required to properly test for Lyme disease.

The first required test is the Apples or Oranges (AO) or Flip-A-Coin (FAC).

If this test yields negative results, the provider should laugh uncontrollably while wondering why he wasted the patient's money and his/her time on a highly unreliable test in the first place.

Or in cases where the patient had symptoms for less than or equal to 30 days, the provider should stand on one leg and whistle Dixie as the prescription for antibiotics is written.

If the first test yields positive or equivocal results, two options are available:

1) If the patient has had symptoms for less than or equal to 30 days, a Beats the Heck Outta Me (BHOM) test is performed and a prescription is written for antibiotics;

2) If the patient has had symptoms for more than 30 days, the Pad My Pockets (PMP) test is performed after writing a prescription with refills for antibiotics.

The PMP test should not be used if the patient has been ill for more than 30 days unless the moon is full during the last week in that month, or the patient's head exploded before leaving your office or paying your bill.

And if the test results from the lab aren't printed on light pink paper with lavender bows on it, toss them all in the trash.

[lol]

What a crock that is! HA!

--------------------
www.TreatTheBite.com
www.DrJonesKids.org
www.MarylandLyme.org
www.LymeDoc.org

Posts: 20353 | From The Moon | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829

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BTW- The IDSA has it on their website as one of four teaching tools to help doctors. The other tools basically talk about how innocent the IDSA is after their own IDSA panel said so.

http://www.idsociety.org/Lyme/

[lol]

--------------------
www.TreatTheBite.com
www.DrJonesKids.org
www.MarylandLyme.org
www.LymeDoc.org

Posts: 20353 | From The Moon | Registered: Jun 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lou
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 81

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I don't think I can stand to read anymore CDC baloney. How does this stuff pass the in-house sniff test?

Anyway, I prefer your version. Suggest you send it to head of CDC.

Posts: 8430 | From Not available | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lymetoo
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Bunch of dumb...A's.

--------------------
--Lymetutu--
Opinions, not medical advice!

Posts: 96222 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Annie C
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 14

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Can say Dumb A$$'s

--------------------
May God Bless you every day. And Never say never and do not give up no matter what. We need you to help others.

Posts: 1288 | From Tetons Wyoming | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Tincup
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5829

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The sniff test is right! Fails big time.

I truly believe dealing with "officials" in our case is a lost cause. Certainly trusting them is.

These are the people (below) who are paid by us to help us! With this stuff going on I keep wondering where their grand mothers were when they were growing up and why they had no moral guidance? No ethics?

How did they, or when did they get it set in their minds that it was ok to attack those who are already suffering, and the dedicated REAL doctors who are trying to help them?

Why are they so obsessed with hurting us, our doctors and our labs? It doesn't make sense.

If they don't like us, or our opinions, they can very easily walk away. But instead, they come here or send their flunkies here, to a patient chat/support group, to read about us and our lives, and then try to use what we casually say to discredit and hurt us.

We should actually feel sorry for them. What a sad life they must have to stoop so low, and to have nothing better to do with their time than to spend their days, months and even years tormenting sick people.

Examples...

CDC- Ben Beard- Going after Dr. J in NC (and knocking out help for many patients in the process), while trying to make nice and be buddy-buddy with patients and their groups.

https://sites.google.com/site/idsaonlyme/beard-ben/beard-engel-letter

And the infamous Zemel- a LONG history of going after doctors (with his focus on the best of the best- like Dr. Jones). He must be so filled with hate.

Here he is offering to teach health department employees how to sneak in LLMD's offices to try to trick them by pretending they are a Lyme patient. All this effort just so he can try to get his own colleagues in trouble.

https://sites.google.com/site/idsaonlyme/zemel/zemel-letter

Phil Baker- once at the NIH, now being even more hateful, and doing it all over the place- like a hate filled explosion- and trying to censor, yes CENSOR us (Americans) when he can't beat us in the ground.

And using his position at the American Lyme Disease Foundation to do it- shameful.

https://sites.google.com/site/idsaonlyme/baker/defending-scientific-enterprise

They kind of remind me of the old joke...

What is the difference between God and a doctor?

God doesn't think he is a doctor.

--------------------
www.TreatTheBite.com
www.DrJonesKids.org
www.MarylandLyme.org
www.LymeDoc.org

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sizzled
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1357

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Too good to let pass through the next page....Up!
Posts: 4258 | From over there | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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