posted
I will probably be bald in a short while; my son is driving me crazy. He has always been negative since around his fourth birthday. He is now 12 and I am worn out from trying to put a happy face on all of this.
In the past week, we went off sugar/soda/fruit juice in an effort to get his weight down. I went off sugar and soda with him. Like many here, his weight is around the middle. Arms and legs are fine, but big belly.
Also, he started a lower dose of Minocycline. Yeah, not quite so hard on his head and emotions. Mepron was added to the mix just yesterday.
Sister had her music concert and the entire hour, he complained. Complained about the music, the chairs, that he had to keep his DS quiet. Complained that we wouldn't let him go sit somewhere else. Just ruined the whole night for me.
Whole family has had a lot of changes in the last week. Plus, we went to three docs and a dentist in the course of 7 days. Yuck! I know I shouldn't be so hard on him, but I just could not listen to any more complaining.
Feel horrible for scolding him, but would feel worse if I didn't.
How common is the negativity? What helps it???
Showmemom
P.S. Earlier in the day, he actually went Christmas shopping and seemed to enjoy it.
P.P.S. Did I mention sister has Bartonella too? Doc is talking the possibility of congenital lyme and wants to test me too.
Posts: 55 | From Missouri | Registered: Sep 2011
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Jamers
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28016
posted
Bartonella was awful for my mood. I was angry, mean, irritable, and just plain annoyed at everyone. After 4 months on Rifampin I do not have this as much. But there are days where I just can't stand to be around anyone. I hated the world and I would voice my opinion inappropriately at times. I did not feel I could control it most of the time and always felt guilty after.
Is he treating Bart?
-------------------- Diagnosed Pos. Lyme Nov. 17, 2010, Igx. Pos. Babesia Duncani March 2011, Igx. Clinical diagnosis for Bartonella Posts: 1127 | From North Carolina | Registered: Sep 2010
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BoxerMom
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Member # 25251
posted
I hated everyone when herxing for Babesia. I hope this turns around for him. It's hard to hate everything.
posted
OMG i was SUCH BIT** for a few years. When you area uncomfotable, in pain, and sick-- yes you are going to be very short with temper and very crabby.
Its the worst, because everyone around you basically thinks you're a bad person.
First thing, do you have time for yourself? I know if I were caring for a child with illness etc. that I would really need to have someone (like a therapist) to talk about it.
Its so much easier to keep your cool when you have perspective and have talked out ways for you to cope-- maybe even a good idea for him. You can get some reasonable therapists who will charge on a sliding scale. I pay $45.
It really could be from anything. Just keep at it, have faith and tell him you understand.
Posts: 844 | From CA | Registered: Apr 2010
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BoxerMom
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I'm curious about your efforts to "put a happy face on all this."
Keeping someone's spirits up is one thing, but denying their reality is another. People who seemed to be dismissing my illness and my feelings about it drove me nuts. I could barely be around them.
People who noticed my misery and acknowledged it were my saviors. It wasn't that I wanted to be miserable; I just couldn't handle the unwarranted optimism that people felt obligated to maintain. I wanted to live my reality. I was happy to laugh and enjoy my limited life. I just didn't want to hear how great everything was, because it wasn't.
Please don't think I'm criticizing your parenting. I'm not! That drives me even more crazy than Lyme deniers! Parenting has become absurdly competetive. I hate that.
Kids know their realities, just like adults. But they have fewer filters and justifications and "appropriate" behaviors than we do. They just want to be heard.
I hope you've talked with him. I love talking to kids. They seem so much more honest than adults do, on many levels. They are more willing to take things as they see them. I find it refreshing.
Again, I'm not trying to criticize. Sometimes people, whether kids or adults, are just difficult. But I hope your son feels heard and acknowledged for what is challenging in his life.
Our culture is obsessed with maintaining a positive outlook, and that attitude kept many of us from seeking a diagnosis for years on end. We just hoped and assumed that things would get better. Losing those blinders allowed many of us to face our realities and advocate for ourselves. Maybe your son never even had those blinders, and he's just looking for validation.
I hope this helps, and that you all have a Merry Christmas!
Brussels
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 13480
posted
Binders could help!
In my opinion, chronic bad mood (!!?) can come from the following sources: sugar or excess of carbs (you are right to cut sugar), from heavy metals, food or other allergies, electrosmog and from infections /inflammation.
The sugar addiction is a problem though, I wonder how fast can people wean on that. I guess, he needs a transition (when you are addicted, it makes you 'anxious' not to have the addictive thing inside)
Then heavy metals is the biggest problem for us home: the more toxic, the more nervous you get. Only when you treat that for months (KPU included, and heavy metal allergy too), you get the size of the picture, of how much it play a role in our lives.
I guess allergies make anyone cranky. Adults and kids. Many of my allergy symptoms are neurological: I feel tired, simply. It can cause brain fog, anxiety.
Electrosmog, specially in the night, make anyone cranky next day, as we can't produce melatonin properly and we get lower quality sleep.
And everyone with lyme disease knows how much infections play a GREAT role in humor. Attack the right infections at the right time, with the right treatment, it's like day and night.
Good luck, I understand your frustration. He's not to be blamed, nor you!!!
Posts: 6200 | From Brussels | Registered: Oct 2007
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Brussels
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posted
I forgot to mention parasitism! It can also change the personality (just see what babesia does and you can imagine what other parasites can do)!!
Posts: 6200 | From Brussels | Registered: Oct 2007
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posted
When I say I put on a happy face, it means I try to stay positive and focus on the gains. We talk all the time-honestly I am talked (burned) out.
We are treating for allergies, bartonella, and now babesia.
In the past year, we have had to remediate our home and are fighting a very large insurance company for past charges and to cover current meds.
We would not qualify for sliding scale anything, which is a joke because our outgo is far exceeding our income at this point.
Noq I have two crabby kids with bart and I am just venting. Thanks for the thoughts.
surprise
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 34987
posted
I can relate- I understand. And I also love what BoxerMom said (thank you.)
My young daughter and I are in our 5th month of treatment, but it has always been a struggle.
Things don't go as planned. Moods erupt. My mind is type A, my body type C.
I am finding when my daughter explodes, I have to go in and hold her close, soothing, spend the time re-assuring, understanding. This can be the only thing that pulls her out.
It is very frustrating (personally now) when I feel sick inside, not well at all, and no-one around me really understands the depth of it.
This is our time in life right now. Working to get better. I hold onto it won't always be like this.
And when my daughter has 'good periods' I forget easily- until it falls apart again, that she is not well.
-------------------- Lyme positive PCR blood, and positive Bartonella henselae Igenex, 2011. low positive Fry biofilm test, 2012. Update 7/16- After extensive treatments, doing okay! Posts: 2518 | From USA | Registered: Nov 2011
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posted
surprise, I love that line "my mind is type A. my body type C"...can I steal that?
Boxermom, I get what you are trying to say about being positive all the time. To me it feels almost like denial sometimes, "if everything is great then the "bad" doesn't really exist"...and it does get aggravating.
showmemom, I have a 14 yo DD and 13 yo DS and it's hard to tell if it's the teen, hormone, everybody is against me norm or LD when they get in nasty moods. It would be much easier if we could put them in a sleep chamber from, say, 12 to 20...just my own opinion.
-------------------- Down on her knees, she wept on the floor. This hopeless life, she wanted no more. Dead in the mind and cold to the bone, She opened her eyes and saw she was alone. ~Seether Posts: 427 | From Rhode Island | Registered: May 2011
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jackie51
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Member # 14233
posted
Life is always harder around the holidays.
Hope you are finding some peace with all of this.
Posts: 1374 | From Crazy Town | Registered: Dec 2007
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
You get to be "Lymed out." It happens to all of us.
and PS.. it's your duty as a parent to discipline your child. If he is ruining things for others, he needs to be called on the carpet. ( so, don't apologize for doing the right thing )
hang in there, mom!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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merrygirl
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posted
Agree with boxermom!
Posts: 3905 | From USA | Registered: May 2007
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