Topic: Just Needing to Vent a long Moment... [Family Matters]
Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi <<<<< Lyme Family >>>>>,
My Vent:
It is so discouraging,when family that one thinks one has gotten through to, about how very difficult Lyme Disease and co-infections are to treat
and get rid of,or at least into remission, really doesn't get it...
And so the very first thing they do, when they want something from us [TxC' and me] and we tell them that we will not do something stressful to us, because of health issues is:
A certain family member said... " Well TxC' don't you think that Silver' is mostly just depressed, she isn't really all that ill now is she...come on ...
if you just got her to exercise more, and get out and do somethings... I just know she'd get well..." .
This is from a phone call after we sent a letter explaining that we didn't feel we should be involved in certain issues,we are not comfortable with a stress causing situation, because of our own health problems.
The family member has been explained to, rather thoroughly, about the problems,and was in our home for a time -last year to visit-...
My hip and legs locked and I couldn't move,and later I had seizure like symptoms... said family member was witness to this during the visit...
I realize many of us w/ Lyme and Co's go thru' this... It is just beyond annoying... and I needed to vent.
Determined not to let it ruin anymore of our Holiday season...
jus' Silverwolfi venting... [it is okay not to reply, but I had to get this out..lest steam vent from me ears...OWOOOoooooWooooo ].
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
i know how you feel. when his friends said i just wanted attention, that blew it for me and she's a nurse and had this superior attitude.
stand firm. i'm going to this year. you can do it.
sorry but i believe this year, all of us should just write some people off.
like my sisters...if they can't contact me, heck with 'em.
i know it's tough when it's family, but when you're sick this is making you worse.
besides, what's the worst that can happen -- they don't contact you? big deal..
sorry but this year i am all out of sympathy. you treat me like crap and you're gone.
you're too precious and life is short. you need the peace and quiet.
and yep venting is ok...look at me...i do it all the time with you guys...have to or i'd go nuts.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Thank You <<<<< Randibear >>>>>,
I just really needed to get this out...
We are not doormats for wiping mud and other junk off from peoples feet onto [please excuse my sentence structure OY].
And I do believe each of us is precious...worth more than all the beautiful stars in space to God!!!
I have been trying not to cry,as it hurts my sinuses right now... and poor TxCoord was about furious at the individual .
Don't want to bring anyone down...but just really had to get this out...
TxC' and I have come to a decision, we are backing away from this person, we already cut off communication w/ another toxic individual that stays with them.
We don't have to put up with the garbage so we wont...
Jus'Silverwolfi
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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lpkayak
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 5230
posted
oh silver i so get that too.. i wish i could come over and we could punch pillos or scream into the wind about their ignornance!!!
-------------------- Lyme? Its complicated. Educate yourself. Posts: 13712 | From new england | Registered: Feb 2004
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi there <<<<< lpkayak >>>>>,
Boy couldn't we punch some pillows for sure, and do some fine hollering...
I wish there was a way to get more people to understand what folks w/ Lyme and Co-infections really go thru'.
And it is complicated right now around here as the BLM is -still- dumping grass seed and whatever fertilizers/chemicals they choose onto the hill behind us. Don't know when they will stop.
So I can't go out for very long...or I wont be able to breathe or see, as the wind is doing a good job of spreading stuff all over...
...Oh but I should just get out more and exercise...I need to find a pillow that needs punching about right now, which is really actually a good idea !!!
LOL, years back when I was in high school, My mom went back to school-college, and one of her psych teachers used to take golf balls and write a name or problem on them...then hit the golf balls .
I figure that is more than I could do ,but punching a pillow ...might help... except my poor pillow would fall apart.
I'm not going to let people who choose ignorance continue to get to me... we cannot afford to rent brain cells to them ya know...
Silverwolfi here!
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
Bless your heart.....
I let go of a few toxic people this year. It was family. I really beat myself up for it, thinking that as a Christian I should not be doing this....
God graciously walked me thru it and I am so glad they are -for the most part-gone.
Give them to God and let them go. Best thing for the new year.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi there <<<<< Dogsandcats >>>>>,
I know what you mean ...as a Christian...
When we have repeatedly turned the other cheek, and given them cloak and robe also...so to speak... are we then to stand naked...?
Uh Nope..., TxC' and I have struggled for two years now, about this mess...both of us praying what to do...and it just got worse.
The person is never happy, about anything ,or with anyone. We have prayed for them every day, they just keep on causing strife.
Trying to remember that Scripture about 'Go not with an angry man...'?!!
They talk bad about everyone in our family and we know they have said really negative things against us as well.
So we are just tapering off the contact ... Kept hoping the person would change..but it is not something they seem to want to change.
Giving the person[s] and situation to God is the best thing we can do.
I can't/and wont further handle the kind of toxicity this person brings with them...
So we'll be having a far less Toxic New Year...
Jus' Silverwolfi and TxCoord too
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
Hey there, Silverwolfi, I'm with you - taper off the contact with all that negative energy.
Life, and time, is a gift. We should spend our life and our time with people who celebrate life, who seek out the positive, who laugh with us, who make us think, who make us smart, who enrich our lives and love us for enriching theirs.
Wishing you a health, happiness and positive energy this New Year!
* * * * * * *
Posts: 251 | From Florida | Registered: Aug 2011
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glm1111
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 16556
posted
Silverwolf, I can so relate to what you are going through.
What I did when a certain family member said that the cause of my illness was not from Lyme........
I went off on her, and said "Listen, this is what I am experiencing and what I was dx with, AND, it is no longer open for discussion, PERIOD!!"
It really worked, AND it felt great because I took my power back. When she brought the "Lyme" subject up again, I said "I don't want to discuss Lyme disease". There was dead silence on the other end, and it was never discussed again.
Remember, you can't change anyone elses behavior, but we can change our own, and in doing so, it puts you in the drivers seat. Hope this makes sense.
Have a Happy New Year!
Gael
-------------------- PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS* Posts: 6418 | From philadelphia pa | Registered: Jul 2008
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
<<<<< jimmy1, and Glm1111/Gael >>>>>,
Thank You for the replies!!!
I've been reading these to TxCoord,and he agrees too!!!
- 'Life, and time, is a gift.' And We '... can't change anyone elses behavior...we can change our own...it puts you in the drivers seat!'-
What you both have said,what each replier has said has helped so much!!!
Thanks so much from Silverwolfi and TxC'
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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I can really relate. Invalidation is at the heart of all of this. I had to take a break from some of my family members in the past (when I knew that I was very sick, I just didn't know it was Lyme & co) and then come back around them on my own terms.
Some people are just environmental factors. You could show them every test result, etc and they will still have their skewed beliefs.
I know that everyone on this site values your posts and insight.
-------------------- aperture Posts: 551 | From Louisville, KY | Registered: Nov 2011
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hey there <<<<< aperture >>>>>,
Thanks for the reply !!!
I think the individual TxC' and I are dealing with is of that '... environmental factors...' variety.
They have skewed beliefs... and we probably wont ever fit in their belief window.
So we are doing what we can to get as well as possible,and not let this sort of person get to us any longer.
I am so glad that we have opportunity to be on LymeNet, LymeNet folk are family!!! And they understand when no one else is willing to try to get it!!!
Hope You and each LymeNet member has a great weekend and that this coming New Year is healthier and more joyful for each one!!!
Jus' Silverwolfi and TxC'
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
hmmm their "window" is very small isn't it?? and it's probably in the bathroom anyway
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi <<<<< randibear >>>>>,
LOL ,
Very small window... love the remark about the bathroom!!!
The individuals window...little window,tiny bathroom,above a scary broken cement stair-well.Wonder if that means anything?? LOL
Jus' that Silverwolfi
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
Good stuff!
Love the "some people are environmental factors" Must remember that one.
Pray Dust your feet off "leave their town" and be amazed that you didn't do it sooner.
God's timing is always perfect in these things. Start the new year fresh!
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hey <<<<< Dogsandcats >>>>>,
Absolutely!!! I agree Gods timing is always perfect.
We've been in prayer and it is time to move into the New Year minus the stress and sadness the situation was causing.
I do really like that "some people are environmental factors...".
Hmm, ''Dust your feet off and 'leave their town'...''. We are starting to sort thru some things ,and remove some stuff to make our home more comfortable.
-Removing some dust will make things more comfortable too!!! -
Jus' Silverwolfi and TxC'
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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posted
You know what I find most incredible is that my business clients and casual acquaintances have given much more support and concern and even get well cards than my family members. What IS that? And now, now that I am back to work, these people ask how I am feeling and my own sisters and mother do not ask how I am feeling. I just don't get it. I enjoyed reading all of this, good feedback. Happy New Year, Silverwolf, and all of you. Thanks for being my support.
Posts: 236 | From Zionsville IN | Registered: Jan 2011
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Silverwolf
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 9196
posted
Hi <<<<< Beth22 >>>>>,
Thanks for your reply!!! Being able to ask questions and vent here on LymeNet is one of many wonderful things about this fine group of folks !!!
We get helpful information, tho'tful insights, and sometimes a good dose of humor to help us smile too!!!
It is sad when family doesn't get it and wont show any support to speak of... But God has supplied the LymeNet family to help and support us ,when others choose not to.
Happy New Year,<<<<< Beth22 >>>>> and <<<<< All LymeFamily >>>>>!!!
Jus' that Silverwolfi
-------------------- 2006,May-August2006 Dx w/ Lyme/Bartonella/White Matter Lesion Disease on Brain. [ Clinical Dx w/ two positives and several IND's on the tests from Igenex ], Prior Dx of CFIDS/CEBV 1992, and FMS '93-'94 Diabetes*2 Dx 10/'08 Posts: 3581 | From SE Idaho | Registered: May 2006
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