posted
It has been a LONG while since I have posted, but I have no where else to turn to. I just need somewhere with like minded people that I can ramble and you all know I am not looking for pity, just somewhere where I can say, "hey this is happening".
This last March our old dog had to be put down, some of you may remember. We then went and got a pup, that I adore! Well about a month ago I decided he needed a play mate. I adore him as well! BUT,I don't know what I was thinking. On good days I can barely take care of myself, let alone two dogs. Thought I would have help, instead I get, " this place is a pigsty", while I sit under covers shivering from a fever.
My husband has been dx as having Lyme as well (my LLMD is pretty sure I gave it to him) but he, hubby, refuses treatment. Hubby just seems so angry all the time (not violent just mad at the world) and when I question him about it he agrees but even he doesn't know why.
He works 2nd shift and stays up LATE and sleeps till time to go to work, so we have almost no time together anymore. I feel alone in a marriage that was so good in the beginning.
And yes, he knew about my health problems when he married me so none of these things come as a surprise. He said he wanted whatever time we could have together. If this is what he meant by "together" he can keep it...
Thanks for letting me rant, hopefully it helps...
-------------------- J Posts: 91 | From Northwest Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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posted
That is rough!!! I don't think ANYONE has any idea what it's like to live with someone who has a chronic illness .. nor what it's like to HAVE one.
The day in and day out can get very hard. You both have a right to be angry. LET IT OUT!!!
What kind of dogs do you have?
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96223 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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They are both Labs, and both rescue dogs. One we are pretty sure is full Lab and the other is either Lab and Boxer or Pit. Either way is fine by us, its all in the raisin'!
Thanks for the reply on my vent, sometimes its nice to know there is someone out there )
Happy Belated Birthday to you, mine was a couple days before yours, and yours landed on the same day as mine Dads!
-------------------- J Posts: 91 | From Northwest Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
Big hugs to your dogs, and to you! We have a Boxer puppy. Basically tons of love wrapped up in pure kinetic energy. She never stops! The puppy stage is rough, but special, too. Get some cuddle time in. They grow up so fast.
Maybe you could send your whole family to Cesar Milan. He trains people, too!
posted
BoxerMom, I try to do things the Cesar way, I believe in calm and positive reinforcement is the way to train ANY animal. Trust me, if I could get Cesar to come here (or us to him) I would be ALL over that! Thanks for the hugs.
I tried talking to him last night about it. He said that he is just to tired when he gets home from work to play with the dogs. I said well you are also to tired when you get up, when are you going to spend more than 5 minutes with them? He got mad and spent the rest of the night (he came to bed about 5:30 this morning) on the computer playing a game. Gee you can stay up all night doing that....
I pointed out that he was the one that wanted Labs, which are big dogs and high energy ones as well. He replied that I was the one that wanted them. I just looked at him. I could see the wheels turning back to the conversations about getting a dog. I wanted a dog like the one in the dog food commercial for Cesar food, the little white one. Yes, high energy, but SMALL. Don't get me wrong, I LOVE our dogs, and I wouldn't trade them for the world, but I need some help. (
He then said well you wanted the second one. It was like a blame game at that point...I tried explaining that its winter time, the dogs are more confined now and they need more walks (which I can't do right now) and he needs to step up. I got the empty stare. I sometimes think it would be easier to just walk away, take my dogs and do it ALL on my own. At least then I wouldn't have to fight with him while doing it on my own anyway...
-------------------- J Posts: 91 | From Northwest Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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Border Collies are great dogs as well! Sorry you can't have a dog where you are at now.
-------------------- J Posts: 91 | From Northwest Indiana | Registered: Dec 2004
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BoxerMom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 25251
posted
I meant the Cesar line as a joke. I fully trust your ability to handle dogs and husbands.
I also struggle with the puppy stage. I got sicker during our first female's puppy years. My husband had relegated most of her care to me.
He is in a much better head space with this one. He plays with her and walks her.
My husband was also patterned to avoid anything that felt too difficult to deal with. He would escape into TV or computer and refuse to talk to me. He was content to assume that life would work out to fit his expectations, with little to no effort on his part. He also gave me the silent treatment to punish me for not stepping up and providing his ideal life.
Those were miserable years. I thought we would get divorced.
He is much better now, thanks to Lyme treatment, me setting boundaries, and several of life's cosmic 2x4s that made him deal with tough issues.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Stuck spouses are miserable spouses. I hope you find your way through this.
Do you have affordable doggy daycare available? I have a Lyme friend with a working husband who swears by this.
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