posted
My parents will be going to the ocean for a month in April, driving 10-14 hours each way in a one-day stretch.
They cannot stay in a hotel, as they are taking their dog.
They are trying to get me to go with them, but I had to get off of my antibiotics for a week just to be well enough to go to the doc yesterday.
AND had to break up the 14-hour trip into 4 days. Feeling pretty bad tonight from the exhaustion of it.
I am dreading this trip, but have no one else to take care of me at home. I can bathe and cook most days, but am to sick/tired to clean. May be able to go grocery shopping, maybe not.
I guess I am just totally frustrated about having to depend on my parents at 29 years old (I am single) and sick of not having options.
I've tried very hard to be accommodating, but it seems like I don't have any agency--my mother makes decisions without asking me first.
Maybe I should get back on my antibiotics so I'm too sick to care...
How do you guys deal with having to depend on others so much?
I am such an independent person and in the past 9 months had to quit my work and school and am living in my parents' house.
One of my parents drives me most places I go. I feel as though I am in middle school again! Posts: 330 | From TN | Registered: Sep 2011
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
It must be hard at 29 having to depend on your folks to help you out...on the other hand, there are many on lymenet that WISH deeply that they had someone to care for them.
Getting better is your job now...and if that means some help from your parents, then so be it.
I am sure they love you very much.
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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glm1111
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 16556
posted
Most of us wish they had that kind of support. I am sure it is frustrating and the thought of traveling is very scary given how you feel, so I do understand.
Being independent is fine, but when you're sick at any age, having family there for you can be such a blessing. It's okay to just let go and let your parents take care of you until you get well.
I would have welcomed being driven around when i was so sick even in my 40s. I also consider myself as an independent person.
Try and let it be okay and see it as a blessing.
Gael
-------------------- PARASITES/WORMS ARE NOW RECOGNIZED AS THE NUMBER 1 CO-INFECTION IN LYME DISEASE BY ILADS* Posts: 6418 | From philadelphia pa | Registered: Jul 2008
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posted
I totally understand. I am a very independent person, and have worked since I was about 10. I am now 36. I am dependent on my parents now, financially. I cannot work. The only reason that I do not live with my parents is because I am married. But I am dependent on my husband. It is a blow to the ego, to not be able to take care of myself, and to still need my parents' help. But i also have kids, and I will do ANYTHING for them. Raising kids is a lifelong commitment. No parent expects that their children will outgrow the need for help. It doesn't stop when the child turns 18. I know that my parents are glad to help. I also know they wish they could do more.
I know its hard. Just try to remember that it is temporary. Keep treating, and trust that you will get your health back. And also remember that everyone here understands, and that you are not alone.
Is there someone else that can help while your parents are gone? I know that some churches advocate for the congregation to help others in need. I know a Lyme patient that was so sick she could not even feed herself, let alone drive. She had no one to help. She found a church that really focused on community service. They drove her places, cleaned house, cooked meals, etc. Once she was healthy enough, she started doing the same for others. She is now mostly healthy, working, and living an almost normal life. Maybe there is something like that where you live.
Are you certain that you do not want to go with them? Sitting near the ocean might be therapeutic, aside from the stress of getting there and back. Good luck, and keep your chin up. That's what family is for.
Posts: 427 | From Pacific Northwest | Registered: Oct 2010
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
how i wish i had my mom to take care of me...she's been gone about 4 years and i'm still grieving every day.
enjoy them while you have them cause they won't always be around.
i know it's hard being ill but find the joy in having loving parents to take care of you.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
Do for you what your gut instincts tell you to do.
You know what will work for you and what won't.
I have gone on trips I should not have, others worked out. But I always knew beforehand the ones I should have stayed home.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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I'm usually very positive, but occasionally get down when I see all my friends living independent, healthy lives!
If I can survive the travel part, being at the beach might be nice...I still have a few weeks to decide anyway!
Posts: 330 | From TN | Registered: Sep 2011
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