Topic: incident on trip -- people can be really cruel!!
randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
this actually happened to me on the cruise. which begs the question -- how do we "let" things go or do we respond in kind? are we slower than others to comprehend or just get "numb" because our brains don't function properly.
ah well, here's what happened.
ya'll know i have gained a ton of weight. i am only 5 feet 1 and weight a good 200 now. however, i'm very top heavy -- a 44DD. ok, big...
so we go to dinner in the dining room and it's been a week or so with these people. a wonderful scottish and australian couple. they were absolutely super. THEN there was two women, americans.
so one night husband is talking to the guys and all i don't think the women were listening either. so this one woman, an american, leans over and says
"my god, you've got the biggest boobs i've ever seen? how much do you weigh anyway? well we never have to worry about loosing you. your boobs enter a room half an hour before you do. HAHHAHAH..."
now i was stunned. i was so hurt i thought of getting up and leaving the dang room. then thought of saying
"well you know things are larger in texas"
but i just couldn't.
i have a terrible self image and take everything very seriously. i didn't want to take anymore tours but hubs insisted i "let it go and consider the source".
that's why i really hate to go out. people can be so cruel can't they?
i told my sister and she said "well let this be a wake up call. you need to loose weight and maybe she felt she was being honest." yeah, thanks sister...
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Oh my gosh, people can behave so stupidly. I'm so embarrassed for that woman, as I'm sure the other people at the table were, too. You can only imagine she makes a fool of herself on a regular basis.
I love your 'things are larger in Texas' thought - that's a riot! Of course, you were thoughtful enough to not say anything that may embarrass her. Pity she doesn't have the same manners.
I agree with your hubby - consider the source and go on with enjoying your trip. And I hope you did ... was it wonderful? Did you have a fantastic time? Can't wait to hear about it!
And, happy birthday!
* * * * *
Posts: 251 | From Florida | Registered: Aug 2011
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17hens
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23747
posted
randi,
I can't believe someone said something so mean. I'm so sorry.
Please try to forgive and forget as resentment isn't good for our health (said from experience).
(((hugs))) to beautiful you!
-------------------- "My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Psalms 73:26
bit 4/09, diagnosed 1/10 Posts: 3043 | From PA | Registered: Dec 2009
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
The only thing that enters a room first is that woman's big rude mouth.
I am amazed at the rudeness of some people. Wish I could have been at the table with you, several comebacks come to mind.
Sorry. I am about the same as you are and people can be cruel. Hugs
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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quote:Originally posted by Dogsandcats: The only thing that enters a room first is that woman's big rude mouth.
- TRUE!!
Welcome back, randi!
-------------------- --Lymetutu-- Opinions, not medical advice! Posts: 96239 | From Texas | Registered: Feb 2001
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momintexas
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 23391
posted
Oh randi - that's awful!
I cannot imagine someone saying something so off the wall.
People just don't seem to realize how words can hurt. The ones that do feel the need to make comments to bring others down often are struggling with their own inner demons.
I'm not making excuses for her ruthless comment - just trying to point out she's got deeper issues.
It doesn't matter if you weigh 100, 200, 300 or 400 pounds. You are a better person than she can ever attempt to be.
You're great randi.....don't let crappy people bring you down.
Posts: 1408 | From Tx | Registered: Nov 2009
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posted
As far as that women goes....she was probably jealous....has absolutely no manners and is not a nice person....just remember what goes round comes round, so she will get it back someday...
I just don't get some people and I have a sister just like yours...
Hope you enjoyed your trip and it sounds like you have a wonderful hubby!
Happy Birthday and many more to come!!!
Posts: 78 | From connecticut | Registered: Mar 2012
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posted
Wow - how rude. She's very judgmental and very superficial - you don't know what a person's like inside by judging their outside appearance.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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posted
I think people who intentionally insult someone under the guise of dinner conversation are pretty pitiful. How horrible to have to put down someone to feel better about yourself.
My step mother does that kind of thing. She once bought me a size 2X bathrobe for Christmas. When I opened it, she said for all to hear that if the 2X is too small here is the gift receipt.
I am 5' 4" and about 155. I wear a size 8/10. I could stand to lose 25 pounds, but I clearly am not a 2X or bigger.
Some people are just toxic. Thank God you don't have to ever see that uncivilized woman again
Posts: 331 | From West Coast | Registered: Jan 2012
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Tricky Tickey
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26546
posted
That was tasteless, all right. Just wondered what you actually did say to her, if anything. She must have been 3 sheets in the wind....how many martinis did she kill that night?
My response may have been, "Yeah, they're big. So what's your excuse?"
-------------------- Early Disseminated LD- 2010. Currently doing acupuncture and yoga. Negative Igenex (IND & Pos Bands) ISSUES AFTER: Tendonitis, letter reversal, Low immune system. PREVENTION:SaltC,Iodine,Humaworm, Chiropractic. Posts: 1013 | From In a van down by the river. | Registered: Jun 2010
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posted
What gives people the rit to speak to others that way? Nobody is perfect...... I could never imagine feeling entitled to say that to anyone.
Who you are has nothing to do with your appearance. I hope you had a good time otherwise.
-------------------- Tick bite in 2006, bullseye rash, treated with 2 rounds of 2 weeks of doxy. (once in 2006, once in 2009) Dx with chronic Lyme May 2011. LLMD April 2012, Treating with omnicef/zith Lots of supplements! Posts: 640 | From Connecticut | Registered: Apr 2011
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
I did not respond at all. I was too shocked. What's worse was her next comment
"how do you sleep with those knickers? Tie them in a knot and throw them over your shoulder?"
By this time I was just staring at her in total horror. He wanted to eat in the dining room but I didn't. But I went back and put him beside her and I sat beside the Scottish couple.
But it definitely put a damper one for days and my idiot sister didn't help at all.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Maybe she had a brain condition. Seriously. She must have had to be so clueless.
Whether illness, stupidity or downright malice, though, it would have been hard for me to contain my emotions, for sure.
You probably deserve an award for behaving YOURself. Since we saw no news video of a fight during dining on the high seas, I assume the shrimp cocktail did not go flying across the table.
It's important to turn this around, somehow. It has to move along and take on another form. Maybe write some song about it (or a similar incident or like-minded people) like Taylor Swift might do.
To move that destructive energy out of your life, I wonder if giving out compliments to others might counter balance that and bring some positive vibes and smiles for you. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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just don
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 1129
posted
Sounds to me:
A. She was drunk.
B. She was jealous
C. She had Dolly Pardon on her mind,,,seeing all the positives.
D. Doesnt see the negatives
E and doesnt care
F. Because of the noseful of booze on board!!!!
G. For...get...bout it,,,consider it a complement
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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posted
I vote she was drunk. Nobody can be that rude sober.
-------------------- Tick bite in 2006, bullseye rash, treated with 2 rounds of 2 weeks of doxy. (once in 2006, once in 2009) Dx with chronic Lyme May 2011. LLMD April 2012, Treating with omnicef/zith Lots of supplements! Posts: 640 | From Connecticut | Registered: Apr 2011
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joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
How about saying... You're just jealous because your husband can't stop looking at them!!
I'm bad...really bad!
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- La, da, da, da, da, da.
Why, thank you so for noticing my existence
Wish only that you'd pipe it down, no need for persistence.
Bodies are meant to move, sliding easily into the groove
Whatever the shape or size, it's all up to you
Be part of the solution, the global contribution,
with honest heartfelt inclusion or right along now you should move. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
I sometimes toss off a really bad pun, like "well, gotta make the breast of it!"
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
I can only imagine 2 things: she was drunk, or she has some brain illness (a form of dementia) that causes diarrhea of the mouth.
Such illnesses exist. Then, the person says whatever is on their mind. Your breasts were on her mind, and all her thoughts just came tumbling out.
No adult check on the mouth.
Did she seem drunk or high?
There IS a third possibility and that is that this is just the way the woman is. There are a few like this in the world. It is hard to believe, but they just don't get it! They just say whatever. Nobody wants to be around an adult that acts like this--doesn't know any better for some odd reason!
Folks like this have something missing! I guess we really ought to feel sorry for someone like that!
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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randibear
Honored Contributor (10K+ posts)
Member # 11290
posted
no she was not drunk. she was just a very forward outrageous kind of person. she did say one thing that the australian man told her "was hitting below the belt" so i don't think he appreciated her comment.
most of her remarks were sexually suggestive or just plain outrageous.
she was a widow of 14 years so maybe that had something to do with it.
hope i never encounter another one like her. in a way she was sad. husband said we should feel sorry for her because she's alone. uh huh...yeah i guess so.
-------------------- do not look back when the only course is forward Posts: 12262 | From texas | Registered: Mar 2007
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- Speaking "sexually suggestive or just plain outrageous" can be a sign of a problem with the brain. Really.
I think that she kept going on and on also may have been a sign that something was very much wrong with her brain. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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Carol in PA
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5338
posted
Lack of inhibition.
Some Lyme patients have this, and if combined with intelligence it can result in someone who sounds like a professional comedian. Except that a professional has restraint.
Posts: 6956 | From Lancaster, PA | Registered: Feb 2004
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posted
Oh please, she's just another boob (no pun intended) we encounter in life. I think because of everything we've been through we tend to make allowances for bad behavior.
But we all need to remember that sometimes people can really just be stupid/uninhibited/obnoxious and we don't have to tolerate it.
I am sorry Randi that you encountered this chicklet and her lame comments. I wish I could have been there with you when this happened.
I know it's easier said than done, but I've been through enough crap in my life that I can guarantee I'd have scooped up my generously sized boobs, slapped them right on that dinner table, pointed my fingers at them and asked that chickie if she wanted a piece of me.
And I'd follow that up by glaring at everyone else at the table one at a time, with the attitude "I'm big and I'm proud"
And I'd go around the table asking if any of them had a problem with me and/or my boobs. But I'm a nervy person to begin with so I understand that most would not do this.
And because I am who I am, I'd also make sure my ample cleavage was at the forefront at every possible opportunity on that cruise. And I'd shimmy and shake those girls and adjust them as needed especially when this chicklet was nearby. But again, I realize that most would not do this.
In sports they say that the best defense is a good offense. The next best defense is knowing you've already been through hell and you can take whatever else comes along.
Embrace and accept your body, who you are as a person and what you've done with your life.
Afterall, that's all that really matters in the end.
-------------------- You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'
---Eleanor Roosevelt Posts: 748 | From somewhere | Registered: May 2010
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posted
I'm sure I would have stared in shocked silence, but later I would have wished that I had patted her sympathetically and said, "Oh, honey, how awful for you to have diarrhea of the mouth. Bless your little heart."
Posts: 2 | From Albuquerque, NM | Registered: May 2012
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