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I am so discouraged right now and feel like I am NEVER going to get back to normal.
I was just started on Rifampin last Tuesday and I have been feeling awful again. Horrible brain fog(I feel stoned and so stupid since I can barely form a dang sentence).
I've been treating for 10 months now and am feeling like I did last summer.
I am so tired of my life being on hold. I never have any energy or drive to do much. When I do I don't particularly enjoy it all that much.
I feel like my girls' childhood is passing me by.
I think maybe some bad times off of meds wouldn't be so bad. Maybe I would at least have some good??
I don't know.....is this ever going to get better? My llmd is even disappointed at my progress.
I've even tried doing some bike riding for exercise and I can't tolerate it. That brings on terrible brain fog and herx symptoms.
Sorry for the whining. I'm just ready to give up and see what happens. Beginning to think it can't be much worse than this.
Posts: 53 | From IL | Registered: Jun 2011
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We tried mepron for a few months along with azithromycin and septra. Had to stop septra due to allergic reaction. Added ceftin instead. LLMD didn't feel I was making much progress except headaches were better.
Told her I was sweating A LOT and my anger and irritability was out of control and fevers were back.
She seemed disappointed that I wasn't making the progress she thought I should so last week I was put on rifampin and stopped mepron for now.
I just never seem to feel decent for more that a day or so and even those aren't great. I just am able to feel like getting dressed.
I feel like a failure as a mother and wife and just plain worthless at this point. I never want to do much, just sit around all day or sleep.
Can't ever plan anything cause I never know if I will be up for it or have to cancel again. I feel like I am wearing out my welcome so to speak with friends and even family to a point.
I just wonder if there is a light. Will I ever be 100% again? Is that a possibility or will I always have to deal with some part of this lyme and friends.
Posts: 53 | From IL | Registered: Jun 2011
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Posts: 15 | From Central NJ | Registered: Jun 2012
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Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
It does get a bit better as time goes on. Just use your good days to do the best you can with kids and hubby. Don't over do, but go for an ice cream or something where you don't exert yourself.
There are many people who get sick when their children are young - cancer for one. It is a sad part of life.
Just do the best you can. I slept the first two years and I still sleep in the afternoon.
Guilt won't help your recovery. I know that sounds easy, but remember you did not choose this.
I had to learn to ask for help. Lost most of my friends, except the few jewels who understand when I have to cancel or will drive me somewhere.
I tried to find a few things each day to be happy about. It is so easy to become negative.
Tell your kids and hubby you love them and do the best you can. They will know and see that.
Take good care.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
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I know yr frustrations and I share them . I have a wonderful dr who treats me with such care and compassion, and he is also frustrated by my lack of progress. I think the key is to approach this thing as a multisystem complex of illnesses, and to try a multifaceted approach.
I am starting to feel more and more that abx alone are not the answer for many of us, myself included. I think boosting the immune system is the key. and that may involve herbs, or salt/c or rifing or detoxing. I know it is overwhelming ,but just try to hang in there.
Your kids need their mom, please try not to let the despair overhwelm you. I think there is an answer out there somewhere for cases like us that dont easily respond to treatment. Keep focused on healing. I sincerely wish you all the health in the world. Jess
Posts: 651 | From ct | Registered: Sep 2011
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Thanks for sharing! Your words were like they came from my head and mouth...I feel the same. Please dont give up...some of us reading are just starting this process and we dont have a year behind us yet...please stay strong for us and our husbands/wives and our kids too...we all need hope. I will be thinking of u and ur family...good luck!
Posts: 11 | From washington | Registered: Mar 2012
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