Kudzuslipper
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31915
posted
I'm feeling so tired of this.... I know part of this the flagyl making me blue (just started this pulse on Sunday...so yah 4 days in tears start).
But how long do you do this? After I finish this flagyl pulse I am supposed to swap my cefin for Biaxin and amantidine, and then continue with two weeks on two weeks off of flagyl. I am so afraid of starting new meds... And really ready to ask to stop the flagyl pulse. But what if feeling so tired and sad is still a herx? Then that's good that I'm exhausted and achy and teary...right?
Oh just ranting... I thought realizing the flagyl was making me feel this way would make me feel better...
Posts: 1728 | From USA | Registered: May 2011
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posted
Kudzu, I can tell you that when I was on flagyl I had an incredibly difficult time. I experienced a lot of depression when taking it as well. It is a TERRIBLY difficult drug with a lot of side effects. Do you think though that some of your depression is related to the frustrations and sorrow that go along with this illness itself?
I know I am pretty depressed at the moment and its definitely related to the generalized pressures of this illness coupled with trying to live as "normal" a life as possible. I dont think it would hurt to ask your doc about an alternative med though, especially if the flagyl is affecting you so tremendously.
Libra is right btw-sometimes crying is a good thing-it is certainly better than keeping all your pent up emotions inside. I really hope that you feel better soon. Jess.
Posts: 651 | From ct | Registered: Sep 2011
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Kudzuslipper
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31915
posted
{{{{ tutu,libra,Jess}}}}}. Thank you. I just want to feel normal. And not think everything is cause of the f-ing Lyme.
You think you are doing ok and then bam! You're a mess.
I am torn cause if it is working and this is a herx, I want to tough it out... If it's just a side effect.. I should stop... But that is the frustrating part of all of this...how do you know? We're all one big experiment.
It's so much harder when you crash after a longish good period.
Posts: 1728 | From USA | Registered: May 2011
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posted
Kudzu, I feel like a walking experiment too, since no treatment is absolute and everything is so nebulous and speculative at times. Please keep trying to hold onto the belief-even if you dont believe it fully at times of crisis, like now-that you will beat this and be normal again someday.
Even now, sick as I am, I refuse to believe that I won't recover someday. Yes, I get terribly sad and I deal with horrible depression at times, but I just refuse to stop fighting. I am furious at this illness and I will not let it beat me. My other piece of advice actually is to keep getting angry at this illness- righteous and appropriate anger is a much better motivator than sadness, I find. I wish you the best. Jess.
Posts: 651 | From ct | Registered: Sep 2011
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posted
so sorry, depression is a terrible thing! Been there, done that, got the Tshirt and NEVER want to go back!! I'm sure it will pass. You can get through this and you will be better.
-------------------- One day at a time Posts: 409 | From TX | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
When I get discouraged and begin to wonder if the treatment is working or not working, I think about the people on this site who did not give up such as Maryland Mom, TF, Gael.
They just kept trying different things and eventually their bodies healed...
It would be much easier if there were set protocols like with other diseases but right now treatment is in its earliest trials.
No clinical trials to help us along....We have to trust that our LLMDs are qualified to help us.
It is sometimes a minute by minute process...
Posts: 538 | From kentucky | Registered: Nov 2011
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Kudzuslipper
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31915
posted
So, good news. It was a short lived depression this time. Still have a week to go on flagyl but I haven't been in tears since I wrote. Still tired and a bit more achy than I have been. But I managed to wash all the bedding in the house yesterday including washing all the pillows two at a time... Bed rooms upstairs, washer/dryer in the basement... So maybe that is why I am achy today. But boy do I love clean sheets and pillows and mattress pads and blankets!
Posts: 1728 | From USA | Registered: May 2011
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