tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Ugh. everytime I think I am turning he corner I just get knocked down. I have been treating Since April 2012.
Its just not fair, I am 26 and I feel like I have wasted so much of my life on this disease. I just got engaged and I should be excitied and planning and worrying abotu wedding things.
I am so sick of everything I just wanna give up. I dont wanan do this anymore. I cant do this anymore. I feel like these is no light at the end of the tunnel. I just feel so lost and alone...
Very very sad day today
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
Treatment fatigue...I think it is harder with this illness because there is no end date.
We keep treating and hoping that maybe this protocol is the one that will restore health.
Life is not fair...Focus on the people on this thread who continued to treat and eventually found health such as Maryland Mom, TF, Gael etc.
If it happened for them, it will happen for us.
Hang in there....
Posts: 538 | From kentucky | Registered: Nov 2011
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tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
I just want to give up so badly. I am so down today...I just want to close the world out...I am so so sad today...
I cant give up...but I want to today.
I feel like the people around me are getting sick of supporting me and sick of dealing with it. I feel like a huge burden
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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posted
Hi tricia. I have been experiencing a lot of sadness lately myself. It is exhausting and painful to be so ill and to constantly get knocked down every time you think you have made some progress.
I can tell you the thing that keeps me from sinking into utter despair and giving up entirely. It sounds childish perhaps, but I simply refuse to let this disease win. I was a competitive person always and I feel like I am in a battle (which of course we all are ) with this disease. My way of thinking goes something like, this disease is my opponent and he might knock me down for a few rounds, but if I keep getting back up, I will eventually prevail. It sounds silly and maybe it is, but that mentality keeps me alive and fighting and engaged with life. It helps me staymotivated and also keeps me from drowning in the sorrow that is always threatening to overtake me .
All that being said, is incredibly difficult to not let the sadness and anxiety that goes along with being chronically ill like this overwhelm you. I have been close to emotional collapse a few times over this, and I am not someone who crumbles easily. I can tell you that you are not alone, and that I sincerely hope things improve for you soon. Jess.
Posts: 651 | From ct | Registered: Sep 2011
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Jane2904
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 15917
posted
Sending big hugs to you. This Lyme. journey is not easy. Hope better days are right around the corner for you.
Posts: 1357 | From Massachusetts | Registered: Jun 2008
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tricia386
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 29623
posted
Thanks everyone, today is just really hard for me. My symptoms are very very bad
-------------------- Lyme activated in April 2010 by gardasil vaccine. DX: Lyme,Babs,Myco,Bart 11/10 Treatment Started: 3/28/11 Posts: 1752 | From Albany, NY | Registered: Dec 2010
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aklnwlf
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 5960
posted
Wanted to give you a hug.
I started treatment in 2004 and I'm back at work part-time and am training for a small hiking trip next summer to Alaska.
Don't give up, you'll get better, it just takes time.
-------------------- Do not take this as medical advice. This comment is based on opinion and personal experience only.
Alaska Lone Wolf Posts: 6918 | From Columbus, GA | Registered: Jul 2004
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posted
I'm right there with you. I'm very very bad too. I've been crying a lot today. I just can't seem to get a handle on this illness.
I'm only 33 and I have a four year old son. I keep thinking he deserves a healthy mommy. I'm so down. I look at all the other healthy young people and don't understand. I know my husband is so tired of dealing with me.
It helps me to read success stories.
Let's keep on keepin on. And look up to the Lord. He is there to comfort us. Jeremiah 29:13
Posts: 415 | From USA | Registered: Jun 2012
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posted
Howdy neighbor! Sorry you are having a rough day. Do you think it could be due to the nasty weather on the horizon? I tend to flare up with big weather changes, and also was having a rather 'off' day today.
I hope you start having an upswing really soon, its not fun to be in that dark place. Are you able to get some extra sleep?
Congratulations on the engagement by the way!
-------------------- Wendy Posts: 253 | From Near Albany, NY | Registered: Jan 2009
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lyme in Putnam
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 11561
posted
Tricia, I had 2 weeks of human, and it's since collapsed. I hate the instability of this and tired of experimenting. I had a full happy life. I hope you get better days soon. To stay, not just to give us hope and then disappear, my husband and son need me, thinking clear I'm nothing like I've been. I understand and hope we'll be posting other stuff soon. God bless.
-------------------- He took u to it, He'll you through Posts: 2837 | From NE. | Registered: Apr 2007
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posted
Tricia and anyone else who is feeling so so bad and just wants to give up-DONT!!!!! I felt exactly like you many times during my 4 1/2 year treatment. I just didnt want to go on living the way I felt even though I had so much to live for. I just kept trying everything and I finally have my health back. I have been feeling good for 8 months now! I NEVER thought it would happen. I used to say i didnt know what it felt like to feel normal. Now I can't remember how sick I felt and how much pain I had. It takes a long time! Please dont give up!!!!
Posts: 256 | From long island, new york | Registered: Feb 2008
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posted
Tricia, I know exactly how you feel. Those days are sooooooo bad.
I am thankful for some reason my body just survives those days and I get through them.
I am far from well, but now get out and do things. I am enjoying parts of days now. I used to enjoy nothing in a day.
Today I painted the trim around our front door. I really enjoyed being out there and doing something as small as that.
Don't give up. We all need to win this together. Better days are coming.
Laurie, what did you do in treatment that you think helped the most.
I have been sick since I was in my 30s, diagnosed at 54 this past Nov.
I have an LLMD, but he doesn't really seem to have a good handle on my treatment.
Actually right now I feel like I am kind of self treating, because I only see him every other month and some of the stuff he wants me to try I can't handle.
I do water and lemon, FAR infared sauna, parasite med, enzymes, allergy treatments, yeast and fungus med, hormone replacement.
I am not on any antibiotic yet. I have zithro I am afraid to try because some say they get sicker when they do them.
I know I am full of fungus and yeast. I am still trying to get rid of yeast and fungus.
I eat a very low carb diet, but do eat 2-3 fruits a day (blueberries or green apple). My body seems to do much better when I eat them.
I don't eat any starchy veggies, any breads or grains.
I know this is a process, but so tired of cooking my own meals and doing the due process to stay as well as I am.
Posts: 620 | From Ks | Registered: Oct 2011
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posted
Hey, Laurie would like to know more about your journey. Thanks for the encouragement.
Posts: 538 | From kentucky | Registered: Nov 2011
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Kudzuslipper
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 31915
posted
Hi Tricia. I just want to give you a hug too. The sadness truly sucks. But don't give up. It's only been 6 months. Give it some more time.
Posts: 1728 | From USA | Registered: May 2011
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