posted
I am a successful attractive 42yo male that never had problems meeting someone for a relationship before. Now that I have Lyme its like game over. No one wants to get involved once they learn. Is there any way of meeting someone else with this?
Posts: 1 | From Greenwich | Registered: Nov 2012
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poppy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5355
posted
Go to support group meetings, to the fundraising events, lyme walks, etc.
Hang around lyme doc waiting rooms? Just kidding on this one.
Posts: 2888 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
I think poppy is right, if you are looking to date someone else with lyme you should go to a support group or a lyme event of some kind.
I see you live in CT, I do as well and there are lots of support groups. I haven't gone to any myself, but I am sure you can meet some women with this illness there. The question is whether they will feel up to being in a relationship. But that is where I would start if I were you. Jess.
Posts: 870 | From ct | Registered: Nov 2012
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just don
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Member # 1129
posted
there is a place called Lymenet,,,,you should hang out around there
-------------------- just don Posts: 4548 | From Middle of midwest | Registered: May 2001
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posted
I met my now husband while I was sick. It is definitely possible to meet the love of your life even with these
horrendous diseases. You want to find the right one any way, not just anyone.
I think when you have something like Lyme, it is easier to weed out the ones that aren't for you. The "weeding"
happens more quickly; you find out pretty soon someone's true nature. It is easier to cut and run when you find out
sooner. It wastes less time, and keeps you freer to find the right one who will love you unconditionally. She is out there.
Posts: 331 | From West Coast | Registered: Jan 2012
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poppy
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
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posted
Someone who is 42 and still single may not be looking for something longterm and committed. That might be more of an obstacle than having lyme.
Posts: 2888 | From USA | Registered: Mar 2004
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posted
Good point, poppy Posts: 331 | From West Coast | Registered: Jan 2012
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TF
Frequent Contributor (5K+ posts)
Member # 14183
posted
Once you are starting to feel better, your life will become more normal. My next-door neighbor got lyme about 2 years ago. He is seeing a great doctor and doing well.
He recently divorced his wife and his girlfriend is now living next door with him. So, I am sure that once you are not so sick, this will turn around.
If you want to meet others with lyme, try the Facebook group: lyme disease and coinfections
Maybe there are folks near you who are in that group.
Posts: 9931 | From Maryland | Registered: Dec 2007
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lululymemom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26405
posted
Lymetwister had a dating site for people with lyme. You might want to pm him for more information.
Bartonella henselae 1:100 Posts: 2027 | From British Columbia | Registered: Jun 2010
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Andie333
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7370
posted
I've got a friend who also found the love of her life when she was dealing with active Lyme. He's not sick, but it was clearly a wonderful match for both of them.
Being sick can be limiting for awhile, while you're dealing with certain symptoms. But when you're feeling better, you'll feel more like getting back out again.
Lyme doesn't make you any less you.
Posts: 2549 | From never never land | Registered: May 2005
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I urge going outside of just lyme, though. There is still a big wide world out there and not everyone is in tip top shape.
Find what you love, be that some kind of art or other activity (even if just to sit on the sidelines).
I can't see lyme ever bringing two emotionally healthy people together - just over lyme, or any illness, really. It's important to know that some folks are drawn to others who are ill for reasons that are not that psychologically sound.
But, that in no way means that even true love can't be found during a time of illness. There's a huge difference.
If emotionally grounded and psychologically healthy it might well work in SPITE of lyme if you have SHARED INTERESTS. In spite of, not because of.
Go to where you can appreciated things that interest you. You'll be surprised who you will meet. And, even if "just" friends, that's worth a lot, too.
A book club, song circles, house concerts, museums . . . lectures . . . hobby classes . . . comedy club . . . even talks at your local libray . . . Tai Chi or Qi Gong classes . . . cooking class?
There are still so many ways to find common ground around so many of life's passions. Provide a space for flavors of all types to come to you. And share.
Even if too ill to venture out, you could start a book club, a movie club of some kind in your home. Have a few close friends to get it going - be sure to be safe in how it's opened to strangers, of course, if in your home.
You may have lyme it is not who you are. Be sure to not let who you are get lost in all this. Lyme is just something you have to deal with, as you remember who you are and what interests you hold dear as a human being on Planet Earth at this point in time.
Even if just one hour a week, I hope you can find camaraderie. From there, relationships that can blossom will amaze you, no matter what all stuff you have to manage along the way.
If you like acoustic music, you might check out song circles in your area. Just Google. House concerts are also a good way to meet people in intimate settings, reasonable prices. Just Google "House Concerts" for your location. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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posted
Keebler makes a very valid point about lyme not being the only thing that you have in common with any potential partner. I have been lucky enough to become good friends with someone who happens to have lyme as well, but I treasure our friendship because of all the things we have in common.and because of who this person is fundamentally..lyme is NOT why I care about this person, although it is comforting to have a friend who understands what I am going through. But again the reason I love my friend has nothing to do with their illness and everything to do with who they are.
I am using a friendship as an example, but I think the same principles can and should apply with a romantic partner. Keebler is correct when she states that you should not let lyme determine your identity. I am who I am in spite of lyme, and it is important to remember that you are more than your illness. Jess.
Posts: 870 | From ct | Registered: Nov 2012
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Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- And building upon jess's last note, it's also important to not DENY the state of your body or what is needed to take care of yourself at every juncture.
Years ago when a special exhibit was at our museum (China's Terracotta Warriors) I had to go. I could barely walk and would fall often but, mostly, suddenly from my torso my upper body would just take a sudden dive to try to become parallel with the ground. Contortions, sort of.
Still, I had a friend who was willing to be seen with me and could pull me back up now and then.
I could have borrowed on of the wheelchairs at the museum but, no, I'd hear none of that. Big mistake. I near took out a whole row of those ancient near life sized clay warriors when my body literally flew a few feet to my right, bumping past the security rope in front of the ancient guys.
I was seeing the room tilted and my inner ear just could not adapt.
Had I been in wheelchair, I could have saved my friend, myself and the security guards much stress. I also came very near doing tens of thousands of dollars' damage.
Now, had I had a sprained ankle, would I have hesitated to use one of their courtesy wheelchairs? NO.
But, at that time, I had no idea just what was wrong (and so many doctors said nothing - later did find out about lyme AND inner ear "broken") . . . so I tried to pull of "normal" and that just didn't fly.
I've since found that I can't pull off "normal" but I have the power to put in place what's needed to at least not take out a whole army, terracotta or not. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
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