posted
I have a teenage daughter who can hurt me like no one else can. she goes to her boyfriend's all the time and visits with him and his family, but won't even invite him into our house. Of course, she's very sweet when she wants something.
I know this is normal behavior for kids at this age, but it really hurts to know she is so obviously ashamed of us. I guess I just needed to get this off of my chest. she just came home and 'dissed' us once again. so tired of this.
-------------------- "Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug." Mark Knopfler Posts: 111 | From East of Eden | Registered: Mar 2012
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beaches
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38251
posted
Oh boy. Here we go.
#1 - this is not normal IMO
#2 - it happens anyway
#3 - if need be, kick her out. Yes, I just said that. This needs to be done especially when your household rules have been violated.
#4 - maintain the rules of your household
#5 - change the locks and the alarm code. Hard to hear, I know, but necessary
#6 - welcome her into the family home as often as possible, feed her, love her, hug her. Throw parties as much as you can with family. Go away on short get-aways with her as much as possible.
#7 - Make believe "he" just does not exist - do not ask about him or his family whatsoever
#8 - Always keep your eye on that 8-ball and remember the ultimate goal: to have your daughter maintain a relationship with you and her father and her siblings
I hope this helped. I'm obviously a tough-love mama and I've "been there, done that" so to speak. Hubs is not at all like me. But rest assured, my way was the way to go. Best of luck to you.
Posts: 1885 | From here | Registered: Jul 2012
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posted
I know teens are going through all their changes, but that doesn't mean they get to diss you.
I suggest you either have a talk with her or put it in writing what kind of behavior you expect from her at home.
Even if there are differences, and there usually are between generations, and just people in general, showing respect for others goes a long way.
Also, I don't know how close you are with her at this point, but you are feeling hurt, and maybe that needs to be said too. It's possible she's feeling hurt too. Then maybe you can both explore what that's about and make some changes in the way you treat one another.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
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