posted
I have Lyme, Babesiosis (sp?), and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever.
And I've never so depressed in my life. I've had Lyme for a few years now, but was only diagnosed in January of this year.
Right now, I can barely drive to work without yelling and screaming at other drivers, swearing up a storm, and wanting to drive straight off the road ending it all. I know this isn't normal, but it's frustrating not being able to control my own feelings. One minute I'm so happy, and the next I'm just so angry.
I don't know what's kosher so I'll tread lightly, but during the middle of, ahem, intimacy the other night I went completely soft. It was humiliating and depressing, and I didn't even want to in the first place.
I just don't know what to do anymore. No one seems to care, most people say to me, "Well, you don't look sick."
I am seriously just so depressed.
Posts: 3 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Apr 2013
| IP: Logged |
joalo
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 12752
posted
Up.
-------------------- Sick since January 1985. Misdiagnosed for 20 years. Tested CDC positive October 2005. Treating since April 2006. Posts: 3228 | From Somewhere west of the Mississippi | Registered: Aug 2007
| IP: Logged |
MADDOG
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 18
posted
Well as far as driving there are a lot of people on the road that need yelled at. JUST KEEP THE WINDOWS UP and yell.
If i had a buck for everytime I yelled (Hang up that phone and drive) you stupid XXXXing Son of a XXXXX I would be a billionare.
And!!I yell (Trafic lights only come in one color green) it isn't going to get any greener you XXX XXXX XXX!!! Get moving XXXX head!!
Every time you get upset your body makes cortisol that lowers testosterone.That can put the brakes on erections. Vitamin c counters cortisol eat lots of oranges.
MADDOG
Posts: 4083 | From Ohio | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged |
posted
Hi there, welcome to LymeNet. Sorry that you are here too
There is a physiological reason all of this stuff is happening to you. First your brain is swelling and that is what is causing the rages and depression. And your second problem we have reduced blood flow due to hyper coagulation and capillary hyper fusion. That's why you are having trouble with ahem.
There are other reasons for these things too, hormones messed up..blah, blah. The list goes on...
There is a really great group of people here to help you through this. Have you started treating?
Posts: 845 | From Northeast | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged |
I started treatment in January. Right now I'm getting injections and taking medication, too.
Posts: 3 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Apr 2013
| IP: Logged |
posted
It sounds like you are in good hands. That's great that you can work.
Exercise and supplements can help with the blood and capillary issues. Things that can thin your blood are like aspirin and or systemic enzymes. It is said that it's best to do weight lifting and not aerobic exercise when you have Lyme. Every other day is best.
Posts: 845 | From Northeast | Registered: May 2011
| IP: Logged |
posted
Re your comment about others telling you you don't look sick, that's pretty much par for the course for us, unless we have visible symptoms.
I'd say stay focused on what you need to do, which is, understand how these illnesses work, and follow your treatment plan. With enough treatment, you're going to get a break in your symptoms.
Some people take anti-depressants and some don't, during this time. Interestingly enough, it was a homeopathic remedy, pulsatilla 12x tablet, that got me high. I took that after seeing an MD homeopath who recommended it for me.
Posts: 13171 | From San Francisco | Registered: May 2006
| IP: Logged |
posted
I feel your pain, and can relate to everything you said above. Prozac has helped me in the past to take the edge off when I get too despondent.
-------------------- "Sometimes you're the windshield; sometimes you're the bug." Mark Knopfler Posts: 111 | From East of Eden | Registered: Mar 2012
| IP: Logged |
nefferdun
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 20157
posted
You might also have bartonella if you are extremely irritated with outbursts of rage. I was hard to live with when Bart was dominate. We usually have alot of infections. Whatever you are treating can go dormant allowing another infection to come out and take over.
Treating babesia causes a lot of depression. I also felt apathetic about life - why bother, who cares. It causes a lot of anxiety too so the traffic might stress you out more than if you were healthy.
Hang in there. It gets better. The good news is you know what you have and have found a doctor to treat you.
-------------------- old joke: idiopathic means the patient is pathological and the the doctor is an idiot Posts: 4676 | From western Montana | Registered: Apr 2009
| IP: Logged |
Rivendell
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 19922
posted
I have spent years in that state, worse actually.
But, I'm coming out of it with treatment.
Also, these things helped so much:
Fish Oil - 6 to 9 capsules per day.
Rhodiola, ashwaghanda, eleuthero combination.
Japanese Knotweed
Green Tea
These things help to remove neurotoxins from the brain and nervous system. Help to heal the brain and nervous system. Help the brain cells to better commincate with each other. And best of all, get rid of depression.
Good luck
Posts: 1358 | From Midwest | Registered: Apr 2009
| IP: Logged |
posted
Thanks everyone for your kind words and suggestions. It's incredible how different I feel from one day to the next.
I'm sorry everyone else has/is going through the same types of things.
Posts: 3 | From Rhode Island | Registered: Apr 2013
| IP: Logged |
phyl6648
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28522
posted
RCI, what did you mean your brain is swelling .. I have so often felt and thought that.. My head feels weird before I go into one of my crying /depressed modes...
Chris so sorry you are going through this but it will improve.. This darn disease plays havoc with everything in us ..Its good you are able to work and drive and yell.. Even though I know it is far from how you want to be.. Wish I had some words of wisdom but they wouldn't help, it takes time..
Posts: 1058 | From VA | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged |
Dogsandcats
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 28544
posted
I hated being told I didn't look sick when I was first diagnosed. I couldn't walk, breathe, stay awake, etc...Then I felt like a hypochondriac saying "i am sick". When I got the IV port put in, for some reason, people became concerned. Dragging an IV pole around was good for a family photo.
Depression can come with all the gifts of Lyme. I felt an antidepressant helped me, but it is a personal decision.
As far as the um, other issue. You stated you didn't want to from the start...well, you are sick. Don't be too worried. Being depressed, angry and SICK doesn't make the lights turn down and the music start to play.
My standard line is - it will get better. Hard to believe, but it does.
-------------------- God will prepare everything for our perfect happiness in heaven, and if it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there.
Billy Graham Posts: 1967 | From California | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- FISH OIL . . . you really need FISH OIL.
In NYC, a bunch of taxi drivers did a test for one week and those who were short tempered and easily irritated by (admittedly) some challenging passengers . . .
in just one week, those that were quick to anger were much more able to feel relaxed.
MAGNESIUM DEFICIENCY also sounds very likely.
I'm not sure what your HERX SUPPORT IS ? but it sounds like you need better support. Links below.
Of course, communicate with your LLMD about this. BARTONELLA, as nefferdun suggests, is also possible. Be sure to consider that, too.
I totally understand the frustrating "You don't look sick" comment.
It will get better! You're early in treatment. Hope is on the way!!
-------------------- The fibromyalgia I've had for 32 years was an undiagnosed Lyme symptom.
"For I know the plans I have for you", declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future". -Jeremiah 29:11 Posts: 6076 | From Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Nov 2008
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- I've felt like punching out someone, smiling, just hoping I "will have a nice day" when I hear it as a command that I'm unable to manage.
It seems that even their energy is just too much for my sensory processes to - well - process.
I do think alot has to do with the fact that we are just not able to take in much more in ANY kind of stimuli. Any kind.
I do suggest that if it gets too much, you go home, to a dark and quiet room. Seriously. This is a an emergency sign that you are very close to adrenal exhaustion and that can be very serious, indeed.
It can go along with lyme but we have to recognize the signs when our senses just can't take any more input and we must then get into a quiet dark place so that our senses can get a rest.
The other support methods are vital, too, of course. It's just that for emergency management, we must recognize when it's time to remove ourselves from sensory overload - to our eyes, ears, bodies, brains . . . and nose.
With driving, the fumes from the exhaust and even the car's interior (often very toxic) can also add to that. When possible, air out your car with real, fresh air.
Others' statements, judgements and expectations (or should I say their failed expectations of us) can trigger all kinds of overload, too.
And if our body systems are on overload to begin with, any emotional overload is just not able to be managed.
Where possible, of course, how we think (and learn to reframe) can help . . . still . . .
We use the same body, same hormones, same nerves to process emotional stress as physical stress. Overload is overload. Know the signs.
& GIVE IT A REST. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- VESTIBULAR connections?
Inner / Middle Ear / Balance systems
Also can trigger outbursts, exhaustion and sensory or emotional overload.
As the vestibular system can be clobbered by lyme and all that goes with it, it's important to understand just how much WORK it takes to function if there is any inner ear distress at all.
DRIVING can be so much harder. Even walking, talking and especially if walking & talking at the same time . . . and listening.
I have to stop trying to explain as I'm starting to hit the deck now. I hope the dots will connect:
Topic: TINNITUS: Ringing Between The Ears; Vestibular, Balance, Hearing with compiled links - including HYPERACUSIS & SCD - Superior canal dehiscence
And WHAT HELPS (most of the links I posted above here, though: Magnesium; Adrenal support; Liver support) -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
Keebler
Honored Contributor (25K+ posts)
Member # 12673
posted
- At one time when I was severely depressed and quick to anger for no reason, it turned out to be caused by a new
vinyl shower curtain. Really. If you have a vinyl shower curtain, get rid of it immediately.
While some of the lightweight fabric ones can contain teflon, it's still a far better choice (though try to find that is not chemically treated. They do not have to be if the weave is tight and the fabric is naturally water resistant).
Vinyl flooring, too, best to avoid due to the vinyl but also the glues. New carpeting, too, can cause all kinds of neuro issues. And I think mood issues are neuro and endocrine issues. -
Posts: 48021 | From Tree House | Registered: Jul 2007
| IP: Logged |
The Lyme Disease Network is a non-profit organization funded by individual donations. If you would like to support the Network and the LymeNet system of Web services, please send your donations to:
The
Lyme Disease Network of New Jersey 907 Pebble Creek Court,
Pennington,
NJ08534USA http://www.lymenet.org/
UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
Printer-friendly view of this topic