payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
very down about this so called life... YES, I was one once full of life.. as many here, done that and did that heard that lost everything.. God gave and God takes ? I have a hard time with the take, more like lost.
I can hardly wait to be lifted from this rack of pain... cure ? for those that have .. may you remember US.. feed back with good news we all await.. will I live long enough to see a easy fix ? we will see won't we.. yet I am Blessed an hour from a good LLMD.. just to have a LLMD as many find the waiting to be seen list maybe months away.. I want to leave a mark maybe its just a man thing.. leave this world better.. so, here's the million dollar question..
In what way could I die so it gets attention to the world, yeah we need to reach out to lyme folks and stop sweeping us under the covers ? I died, many times and God won't let me leave this earth.. odd, I am so full of pain and wrong working body..
I can remember playing foot ball games for hours Basketball games and getting farm chores dawn to dark and working 16 hr shifts and NEVER been so beat up I wrestle with the devil right in my own home at times I just get him close enough to head lock him and sing JESUS LOVES ME.. he really hates that I ain't doing nothing stupid and more then likely just die unknown to most.. I think a few of you know my FB.. pm me and perhaps a face with my name will help some one new and old, here My Friends... Lord send ANGELS 20 stories tall to watch over this sight,
Bless to the folks that started it and now support it.. to the moditors for their letting me pray and bring God in our shares. I ain't throwing in the towel - God won't let me and not pissed either.. I have what I have and I am still alive... its along battle, lose some fights and win some bigger ones.. give a good fight. keep your eye on JESUS he is closer then you know.. (as perhaps Gonzo would've said) Wayne be here tomorrow God Willing and the creek don't rise.
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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Pocono Lyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5939
posted
I hear you Wayne. I have to say that you already have left your mark on me. You have been a blessing to me more than you know. Maybe this is selfish of me but I know you will have more of a positive impact on me and I believe others while alive.
Yes God gives and God takes away. I wrestle with the thought of God taking away from good people though. He didn't take away from Job but He did allow the devil to.
You chose a song to post this week and it's exactly the one I've cried out and begged God to take me but like you I guess He's not done with me here. This is the version of Precious Lord I've cried to. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZNrVed6dP6s
In His time my brother.
I've been having many of the same feelings as you lately. I think they are more pronounced during this time of year. I see others "living" life like I used to and I am little more than "just alive". There's a huge difference.
January 1st will be ten years since I was last able to work. I know you're not giving up and neither am I. Venting does help but only to those who understand.
Those going through it and our Father.
Leaving your mark may be a man thing. I am just the opposite. I made my final arrangements years ago. No wake, no funeral, no obituary, no nothing.
I feel that those who stuck by me will know and the others who didn't care when I was alive don't need to know.
My final arrangements here on earth may leave a mark but it will be anonymous. Maybe a gal thing?
It is a constant struggle to focus on our blessings as opposed to our losses. Job didn't fail. He came out the other side.
We will too whether it be here or our final destination. Much love and hugs to you Wayne. Keep making your mark while here on earth. It certainly has impacted my life in such a positive way.
-------------------- 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
9 But he said to me, �My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.� Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ�s power may rest on me. Posts: 1445 | From Poconos, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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momindeep
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 7618
posted
I come here because my daughter was so very sick with lyme, for many years. There were so many times I thought I could actually pass on from the very fear of it all...thought my heart would give out...literally.
Now I stay, even tho my daughter is much better because you all are a blessing to me.I will not forget the lessons I have learned from everyone... and now I "give back" by using this venue to pray for others.
So many here, over the years, have inspired me to be a better person and to do better in areas of my life.
Payne...most of us go quietly into the night...we don't leave this world with much fanfare...but I know that you are building up treasure in heaven and that you glorify the Lord...your fanfare will be when you enter the kingdom and the Lord says,"Well done good and faithful servant."
Posts: 1512 | From Glenwood City WI | Registered: Jul 2005
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payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
please.. I am nothing without Him.. I ask that all PRAISES are HIS.. and That The Shepherd knows His Flock, and His flock has a keen ear to Him.. see you at the river ("
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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payne
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 26248
posted
mom in deep, may the pure and perfect heart stay in your day, and since Our Lord never sleeps may The Spirit cover you as a bed sheet all the night long. you are a pillar of compassion. surrender to His Love.. Amen, it is done.
-------------------- TULAREMIA/rabbit fever ? Posts: 1931 | From mid-michigan | Registered: Jun 2010
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lax mom
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 38743
posted
I tell you one thing, that 1 single post with the lion has made a permanent imprint on my life.
Pocono Lyme
Frequent Contributor (1K+ posts)
Member # 5939
posted
Sorry.
-------------------- 2 Corinthians 12:9-11
9 But he said to me, �My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.� Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ�s power may rest on me. Posts: 1445 | From Poconos, PA | Registered: Jul 2004
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